A Little Bit of Us
Read A Little Bit of Us Online
Authors: A. E. Murphy
A. E. Murphy
The characters and events in this book are fictional. Any similarity to real persons, either living or dead, is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
© 2013, [Alexandra Murphy]
Amazon Kindle Edition.
All Rights Reserved.
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored, or transmitted in any form or by any means without the prior written permission of the author.
Dedicated to my two wonderful children and my loving partner. Thank you for giving my life meaning. Also my Nan, Beatrice Thompson, for saving my poems and silly stories from a young age and telling me to go for it. You’re my best friend and I love you.
Many thanks to Laura for calling me out on
my mistakes and then taking your time to help me improve even though you didn’t know me then, not only in part two but in part one as well. I couldn’t have edited this alone or done this without your help.
Thanks to Ali my partner for ignoring the fact I’ve probably not done the laundry this week and
how I’ve conveniently forgotten about the dishes on many occasions due to my constant writing and also for listening to me constantly moan about how nothing is going right with my book. Also for our late night conversations when you really just wanted to chill out after work you listened without complaint and with a constant smile.
hapter One
Those stupid ass blue lines. I wish I’d just let the fucking doctor do the sonogram. But I was scared if I saw the baby I’d instantly make my decision. I can’t look after a kid, I can barely look after myself. I had a goldfish once, it died three days later… from choking on a stone. That fish sure loved the little stones at the bottom of its tank. I don’t even remember its name… maybe Goldie or Fishy or something. See? Point proven. I’m useless, I’m irresponsible… oh god. I’m fucking pregnant.
I let out an ear piercing scream and throw everything off the sink. It crashes to the ground but doesn’t satisfy my hunger for destruction. With another angry scream I kick the door open, stomp into my bedroom and start ripping clothes from my closet and throwing them. Because they aren’t going to fit me soon so now they are just offensive.
Strong arms wrap around me effectively stopping me in my tracks. Damn you Jacob Stone.
“Must destroy offensive material,” I say robotically and turn in his arms. “I hate my life. I’m screwed, totally and utterly screwed!”
He drags me out of my room and sits me at the breakfast bar. Then he puts a tumbler of whiskey in front of me. I stare at the amber liquid, my frustration rising. “I can’t fucking drink!”
“Tell me what’s wrong, have a sip, it’ll calm you down,” he chuckles and stands in front of me.
What’s wrong? What’s wrong is the man who loves me the man who I married to appease my father made me fall in love with him. Then I found his long lost brother and reunited them the same day I found out he thought I was cheating and got his own sweet revenge by cheating on me. And now we are divorced, and now I’m depressed. But to add to the situation. “That bastard planted his seed in me!” I shout and flick the glass. “No more alcohol. No more sexy body. No more boobs. No more damn freedom!”
Jacob blinks and staggers back a couple of steps, “Shit babe.”
“Yeah.”
“You need to call him.” I will do no such thing. I need to call nobody right now. What I need to do is come to terms with all of this. “He’ll be over the moon.”
He thinks I don’t know this… “One thing at a time. I need to go for the sonogram. Sort out the doctors. Call my shrink and fire her…”
“Fire her?” his lips quirk and his eyebrow shoots up. “Why’s that?”
I huff and stomp backwards and forwards across the tiled floor, “Because she’s not helped me at all. She tells me things I already know and then pretends she knows something about it.”
“She probably does know something about it. Now stop diverting from the situation at hand. You’re pregnant. Congra...”
“Don’t say it,” I screech and raise my hand. He stops, stares and laughs silently. We both stare at my belly where there’s an invasion going on. “I’m going to get fat.”
“Yep.”
“I’m going to be a single mom.”
“No you’re not, James would never let you...” he trails off when he catches my glare. “This is all going to be fine. You’ll see.” Good save.
“Whatever, let’s go…
umm… well I can’t go drinking. Fuck. Let’s go for a walk. We can practice your lines on the beach. I want to be Penelope again. She’s cool,” I ramble and grab the scripts from the drawer under the counter. He shrugs, grabs his shades and links my arm through his. “I’m screwed.”
He doesn’t disagree because he knows right now I’ll probably beat him if he does. Instead he drags me out into the sun and we head down onto the soft sand behind his house. I sit on the golden grains and open the white script. “Oh my dearest Georgie, how I do love the’,” I put on a high pitched tone and flutter my eyelashes at Jacob. He frowns and barks, “Read it properly bitch.”
“Well I never,” flutter, flutter, pout, chin raise, pout.
Smack, his booklet connects with the back of my head. “Shouldn’t hit a pregnant woman.”
“Oh yeah, s
hit I’m sorry,” he looks concerned and panicked. I hold my stern face for all of three seconds before I charge with a battle cry worthy of the big screens, dive on his back and hit him repeatedly on the head with my own book. He cries out and drops us onto the sand. “Bitch.”
“I already know that. Next time be more creative,” I wink at him and start reading properly. My mind isn’t on the script, or the soft sands or the gentle breeze. It’s on the invad
er, Jacob was right. James will be thrilled. He’ll drag me straight back to the city and be there every step of the way. Which is exactly why I’m not telling him right now. Or anyone for that matter. Right now I need to sort out me. Right now I regret the divorce, I regret my reaction to the whole affair. I understand why Jessica is angry at me because he did fuck up but he was there when I fucked up. He was hurting, I was lying, and I made him paranoid rather than just choosing to tell him the person I was sneaking off to see was his potential brother. Of course I’m angry about what he did and I doubt I’ll ever be able to have sex with him again…
Now aint that the biggest lie I ever heard.
And my libido is back. With a bite and apparently a southern accent. Go figure.
He forgave you instantly when he found out about Frankie and Paul.
That was my conscience unfortunately. She’s been speaking up a lot recently.
So ok, maybe I could forgive him. Could have forgiven him. The fact is I can’t forget. I’m not as strong as him or as tolerant or patient. This baby will bring us together until it’s born and then what? Most relationships end under the strain. My head would be all over the place, even more so than usual and as you can see that would be a lot. Plus the Frankie and Paul thing happened before we were together. So completely irrelevant to the situation, that was my past, I can’t be blamed for actions before him. It’s so not fair.
Maybe I should just hand it over to Sylvia, she knows what she’s doing. Yeah, that’s a good idea. Give it to James and Sylvia.
You really are a heartless bitch.
Yep, all aspects of my brain are against the most prominent part. I like to call her irrationality. I run on irrationality like a car runs on fuel. All of this you’re hearing right now is being told by her. Or me. Hell I think I’m crazy, referring to myself as several people. Ah well. As long as I don’t say it out loud I think I’ll be fine. I’ve not started to lick windows yet.
“Why are you licking the air… do you know what? I don’t want to know,” Jacob sighs and rolls onto his back. He continues reading, so do I but I also make little piles of sand on his chest. Then I start drawing in them. I give him a heart, then I break it, then I make a stick figure with a sword getting eaten by what should be a crocodile but unfortunately it doesn’t all fit on his chest so it looks like the stick figure is standing by a huge turd. “You’ve memorized the lines haven’t you?”
I shrug nonchalant and pat his chest clean
of sand. “Probably.”
“Damn, I’m jealous of your memory.”
I’m jealous of your tan and your lack of womb.
My phone rings after twenty minutes of script reading. As if by fate James is calling. Gah.
“Hey,” I answer
a little too cheerfully and actually punch myself in the head because that was so completely not smooth. Normally I answer with. “Yeah? What?”
“Hey to you too,”
he says sounding relieved.
“I actually need to talk to you,” Shut up. Shut up now. Irrationality, back down bitch. “It’s important.”
“Oh,” he sounds shocked. “What’s wrong? Are you ok?”
“No, I mean, yes. I mean no.” Sigh.
You’re pathetic.
Give her a chance.
“I’m pregnant.”
Nice one. Clap. Clap. Clap. You did well.
Give her a break.
GET OUT OF MY DAMN HEAD!
“W… what?” his voice cracks. Is he going to cry again? “Are you fucking kidding me?” He’s angry. That’s unexpected. And then the line goes dead and Jacob is staring at me wide eyed.
“He thinks it’s not his,” he shrugs and that little piece of the angry James puzzle clicks into place. Of course he does, I’ve not seen him for three months and we’ve not had sex for four. Which makes me how far along? Oh god.
I call him back. “What?” he growls and clears his throat. “If you’re looking for a congratulations you can go…”
“
Shush!” I hiss harshly, effectively silencing him. “Before you say something you regret it’s yours.”
Silence for about twenty seconds then, “W… what?” his voice cracks again. “Really?”
“No, not really. I’m telling you to be a bitch.” Sarcastic much. “Yes. It’s yours. I found out this morning.” And I wasn’t going to tell you but as
per usual irrationality sank her claws into my brain and took over.
Jacob motions to the house. I nod and scramble to my feet, feet that I won’t be able to see in a few months.
“This is…” he breathes out a deep breath and I hear banging.
“You’re jumping up and down and silently screaming with glee aren’t you?” I deadpan.
“Hell yes I am. Fuck. Maya this is brilliant. I’m coming to get you.” Whoa, this is why I didn’t want to tell him. Thanks a lot Irrationality.
Actually it was me. Your conscience.
Right, definitely crazy.
“No you’re not.”
“But I want to be there.”
“And you will be there. Just not until the intruder is out. I’m not leaving LA.”
“Why?” Good question.
“Because I don’t want to.” Shit answer.
“You can’t do this. I’ll be down as soon as possible.” I hear a door close. “Carlos, get me a flight to LA for as soon as possible.”
“Hello Maya!” Carlos shouts. I decide not to reply because he can’t hear me and by the sound of a door closing I figure James is back in his office. Cancelling meetings so he can come here, tie me up and take me back to the city.
Maybe he’ll use handcuffs
That would be sweet.
After last time? Maybe not such a good idea.
“I want to be there. Let me. We’ll forget all of this that’s happened. I won’t even pester you. Just don’t let me miss this.”
“I’ll send you weekly pictures and updates.”
Bitch, bitch, bitch.
Horny, horny, horny.
Crazy, crazy, crazy. “Now that’s settled…”
“Don’t you dare hang up on me? I’ll be down tonight.” He pauses, a drawer opens then closes. “I miss you.
I love you.”
“Me too,” I admit and a shuddering breath leaves my body as the weight of pain that I felt when we first broke up hits me square in the chest. “But it’s not enough.”
“I’m just glad I’m getting another chance to prove myself.” Prove himself? Hell, I don’t deserve him, I never did. “I’m coming for you.”
“Sounds like something a serial killer would say to his victim.”
“I’m more of a serial fucker when i
t comes to you, and yes. You will be my victim.” He chuckles, man I’ve missed his shitty humor that’s so shitty it’s funny. “Have you told Lucas yet? He’ll be thrilled.” Of course he will be, because you are both so much alike it’s unreal.
“No, only me, you and Jacob now know. Jacob found out first because I trashed the bedroom.” I slide onto the couch and rest my head in Jacob’s lap. “Bless him.”
There’s silence for a moment, he loves his dramatic pauses. “You’re still living with him?” His voice is barely above a whisper.
“Yeah, we’re roomies.” He sighs with relief, I roll my eyes. “Jacob and I aren’t like that. Not that it’s any of your business.”
“You’re right, it’s not my business,” pause. “Yet.” He’s really sure of himself apparently. “I’m going. I’ll be there at midnight.”
“I’ll pick you up from the airport.” Because it’s useless to tell him not to come. “If you want.”
“You should sleep. In your condition.” Yes because I’m now an invalid. Sigh. Then a realization hits me. I could really milk this. “Stay in bed. I’ll hire a car.”
“Fine,” I grumble and gulp down a glass of water. “I’m going.”
“Thank you Maya.” For? He answers my inner monologue. “For forgetting to take your pills.”
Cheeky bastard, I did not forget, I just forgot they didn’t work for the first month. Should have been more careful but it never even crossed my mind. “You can tell Lucas if you want. At least you’ll sound happy about it when you tell him.”
“You’ll be a great mom Maya. I know it.”
Whatever you say. Beep. The beep was the phone line going dead in case you were wondering.