A Million Wishes (8 page)

“
Noah…I…Ooohhh….” She stopped speaking, unable to say a word when his palm cupped her sex and rubbed in a slow firm circle.

“
Mmm, what Miki? Don’t be afraid to say anything. If you want me to stop I will. If you want more, god if you want more, I’ll give it to you. Anything and everything baby.” His voice was husky, raw with desire. She shivered as his warm lips started trailing down her neck, and his teeth scraped that pulsing point that took her breath away. He kept one hand on her clothed mound, and his other reached and grabbed her soft breast, massaging it, pinching first one nipple and rolling it between his thumb and forefinger, then moving to the next. “I’ve never…Noah I’ve never…oh god… please, Noah, don’t stop…” He looked into her beautiful green eyes now all smoky and dark, shocked at her admission of innocence, but wanting even more to please her. He moved his hand off her and she nearly cried when the pressure he’d been placing on her vanished. But it was only gone a few seconds because he slid his hand into her shorts and slipped his fingers between the slick folds of her sex and found her hard little nub of desire and rubbed. Rubbed and circled it, squeezing it between his thumb and finger until she screamed out loud, falling apart, and shaking against him with her head thrown back, and a sexy purr coming from her throat.

He covered her mouth with his, drinking in those soft sexy sounds and ever so gently brushing his thumb back and forth over her clit, one finger slipping into the incredibly tight tunnel of her sex, thrusting. It was then that she tensed up, whimpered and pushed at his hand and chest, squirming away while he looked at her shocked and worried. “Miki, did I hurt you? Baby I’m sorry if I did I thought I was being gentle enough, c’mere honey.” She was gasping a little and fear had washed her face ghostly white. “Miki, baby what’s wrong?” She shook her head and took a deep breath, closing her eyes and pulling the blanket up to her shoulders, shaking.

“
I’m sorry Noah. I can’t.” He nodded, and scooted up next to her, wrapping one arm around her shoulders “It’s ok kitten, we don’t have to go any further. I’m sorry if I scared you baby, I sure wasn’t meaning too honey. I just wanted to please you, love you.” His worried face broke her heart. She was still broken, still unable to do what a woman should feel comfortable doing with the man she loved. Fear and flashbacks from her younger years ruined her. And now looking at Noah, she’d hurt him after he’d given her something she never even imagined.

Noah felt like a horse’s ass. He knew Miki wasn’t the kind of girl to sleep around; she’d even confessed she was still an innocent, and instead of backing off it made him want her even more, so he had continued and ended up frightening her. His erection had disappeared the moment her fear had registered in his lust induced brain. Now he just felt sick with himself for pushing her. He kissed her temple and whispered in her ear “Please forgive me Miki, I feel like shit for mauling you without even asking, damn baby.” She turned to him and took his face in her hands, tears welled up in her beautiful eyes “Noah, stop it, it wasn’t you, it’s me. I’m just messed up and I freeze, I can’t get past it. I’m sorry. It’s not that I don’t want you or that you scared me or anything. It’s just me ok? I’m the one that’s sorry.” She kissed his cheek and wrapped her arms around him burying her face against his chest. “I’ll tell you why one of these days but I can’t today, not when I’m so mixed up inside.” He nodded and cradled her to him, keeping his hands either in her hair or on her back, no longer stroking her skin like he had before. Never again did he want to see that look of fear in her eyes.

Soon enough, they got up and she made him breakfast and coffee, knowing he was leaving soon without an explanation from her. It was weighing her down and him too, since neither spoke much. They ate in relative silence, her quickly picking up their plates as soon as they were done, and going to the sink to wash them. He took her by the hand and pulled her against his chest; his face buried in her hair and just held her. She snuggled against him and pressed a kiss to his neck, whispering in his ear “I’m sorry I ruined it Noah. I didn’t mean too. I wanted to please you, make you feel good like you did me. I feel so stupid.” She sniffled and he brushed a soft kiss on her cheek, tilting her chin up forcing her to look him in the eye. “Love, you did please me, holding you like that, feeling you come apart for me in my arms and hear those sweet cries were the best gift anyone has ever given me. I feel like I waited a lifetime to love you like that. One day love, one day when the time is right and you feel comfortable I’ll make love to you all night long. I’m a patient man Miki. You are worth the wait.” Her cheeks were bright pink but she felt cherished. Never had anyone spoken such tender, loving words about her. They shared another kiss and pulled back smiling. “I have to get on the road and get to Sugar Creek. My plane leaves this evening and I promised my parents we’d have dinner before I go.”

She nodded, emotion choking her, touching his face and stepping back when he went to grab his bag. Her heart thumped in her chest. He called her love, said he wanted to make love to her. He thought she was worth waiting for, but what man could wait forever for a woman to not be scared to be intimate? She shook her head and walked with him to his car. “Be safe Noah, you know how I worry about you baby.” He smiled and kissed her long and hard. “If I didn’t know better I’d think you might be falling in love with me Miki girl.” Cheeks pink and laughter bubbling up she punched his arm. “Stop teasing me Romeo, it’s not nice!” Grinning he picked her up and twirled her until she was giggling and squealing “I love you too Miki, one of these days you’ll believe me when I say it and maybe, just maybe you’ll say it back and mean it.” This time it was her tip toeing up to kiss him until they were both breathless. She cupped his cheeks and looked into his eyes “I’ve loved you my whole life Noah Cane. You’ve just been too busy to notice.” It was his turn to blush, hugging her again and swatting her bottom. “Be good Miki girl and don’t forget to write me.” She smiled as he got in the car, trying not to cry, leaning in the window to kiss him once more. “Be safe Romeo.”

Noah rested his head to the side watching out the plane window, fighting tears, fighting through the pain and shock of how his life was changing. Doubt and fear sucked at his confidence. Would she still want him like this? Scarred and disfigured, fucked up inside. Had he waited too long to realize he couldn’t and didn’t want to live life without her? His leg ached and he absently rubbed his thigh muscle down to just below his knee. What if she had a man in her life now? What would he do then?

Chapter 8

It had taken Mikayla forever to fall asleep, but that didn’t matter to her nieces and nephews that were so excited to find out Aunt Miki was in town. She was pounced and covered in kisses and giggling kids promptly at 7am. She giggled and rolled off the couch with the four squealing children, roaring at them and tickling them, giving big smacking kisses to each one until they were a panting group of giggles. Her sister in law Becky walked in the living room laughing. “I told them to let you sleep but they just couldn’t stand it.” Miki grinned and got up off the floor and hugged her “Good morning sunshine. I’ve been missing them too so it’s ok sugar.”

They went in the kitchen where Callum was whipping up a batch of waffles and had bacon on the griddle sizzling. “Bubba that smells wonderful but please tell me you have coffee made.” He grabbed a mug from the cabinet and poured her a cup, pulling her into a hug and kissing her head. “Good morning baby girl. I see you’ve already been mauled by the heathens. The kids all laughed, snuggling against her legs and crawling up on the barstools next to where she was standing. “I feel pretty loved getting hug and kiss attacked before coffee. I know they must love me to be brave enough to do that before my first cup of heaven.”

They all laughed and chit chatted through breakfast and cleaning up. Becky gathered up the kids and hurried to finish getting them ready for school and out the door. Callum refilled their coffee mugs and took her hand in his. Miki I need to talk to you about a few things. How about we go into the den and we can talk there and go over stuff for Momma’s funeral. The others will meet us at the funeral home later on. She noticed he had that worried furrow between his eyes and it scared her. Following him into the room they sat in the chairs by the big bay windows that over looked all the flower gardens. “What is it Callum, you have me worried.” He took a sip of hot coffee and reached to take her hand, giving it a squeeze. “Sorry baby girl I’m not trying to scare you but I got some tough news late last night after you went to bed.” She scooted forward and looked into his bright green eyes that mirrored hers “Just tell me Callum.”

“
It’s about Noah. Mrs. Cane called here last night wanting to get in touch with you for him. He got hurt a few weeks ago and is in a hospital in Germany.” She sat up straight and pulled her hand away, worry washing over her face and tears filling her eyes. “Well is he… is he ok?” Callum nodded and cleared his throat. “He’ll be coming home soon once they get him stable and fit to travel. I don’t know the details of how he got hurt but she said it was an IED and he was out for 3 days, they nearly lost him at one point but he’s getting better now baby girl. He asked his mom to get a hold of you and let you know he was ok, he said he didn’t want you worrying about him.” Tears dripped down her cheeks and she was shaking, so silent it scared Callum. “Miki… honey he’s going to be ok. He has a long road ahead of him but Noah’s one of the strongest people I’ve ever known. He’ll be alright.”

She nodded her head and wiped her eyes “Do you know what kind of injury it was this time?” Callum lowered his head and clasped his hands together shaking his head. “He uh.. He lost the lower half of his left leg Miki. He had shrapnel all down his left side and burns along his leg and arm. Her sharp intake of breath brought his head up and went to her and pulled her into his arms hugging her tight. Miki cried, cried until she couldn’t cry anymore and just sat there limp in Callum’s arms, hiccupping and sniffling. “He’s already doing better honey. He’s awake and talking, he remembers what happened. Mrs. Cane said that he’ll be going through therapy while he’s still there in Germany, whatever it is the military does before they send a soldier home to recover. I think it’s something we need to really think about and try to be strong for him to help him through it. Being a SEAL was Noah’s life, all he ever wanted to do and now he’s going to be honorably discharged for medical reasons. I imagine he’ll be pretty lost for a while and we need to be strong and help him find his way.”

Standing up and walking to the window her voice was so soft, raw from crying. “I love him Callum. But I can’t be what he needs.”

“
Yes you can Miki. You two belong together, you have since the day we all met and got close. I know you been through hell baby girl, I know how bad you were hurt and used by Lucas but Noah is not Lucas. Noah is a man that has loved you forever and would kill for you. You know that baby girl. If anyone can help you get past the hellish part of your life before you moved in with me it’s Noah. And as far as that goes, if there’s anyone that can help Noah through the hell he’ll be going through it’s you. Remember that Miki. You two need each other.”

She nodded and reached for some tissues and wiped her face. “Do you know if he lost any of his team?”

“
He lost 2 men and at least another was injured and going to be discharged as well because he lost most of his arm. He’s going with Noah to see those guys families before they come home.”

“
I need to go over and see his Mom today sometime. I imagine she is beside herself with worry.”

“
I’ll go with you on the way to the funeral home baby girl. We can go ahead and get showered and dressed if you want and then head over there.”

“
Ok, I’m going to go take a quick shower then.” She turned to walk away and quickly turned back around and hugged her brother tight.

“
I love you Callum.”

“
I love you too baby girl. To the moon and back.”