A Song For Us (Fallen Tuesday Book Two) (A Brothers of Rock Novel) (6 page)

She shut the freezer and there was
a knock at the door. Anytime she heard a knock at the door it bothered her. She
wanted to believe in the good in the world around her, but in this building, it
could be anything. It could be her neighbor wanting to complain about something
stupid, or it could be someone looking to rob her again.

Carina stood and waited for the
feeling to pass.

The knock came again, followed by a
voice. “Carina. It’s me. It’s Angie.”

“Angie,” Carina whispered. She
sighed and touched her forehead, feeling foolish.

She went to the door and opened it
to find Angie standing there holding a bottle of something.

“A little celebration,” Angie said.
“For my friend.”

“For me? For what?”

“For helping me get a gig tonight,”
Angie said.

“How did it go?”

“It went,” Angie said. “I think I
could have gotten more phone number than I got paid, but that’s life. There was
a decent crowd there too. One thing was missing though.”

“One thing? What?”

Angie slid into the apartment and
walked to the kitchen. “You were missing.”

“Me? Why me? I wasn’t scheduled to
work tonight.”

Angie looked back at Carina. “I
wasn’t talking about you working. You should have been on that stage, playing,
singing, and getting yourself out there.”

Carina took two glasses from the
cabinet and poured a drink for herself and Carina.

“Do you put anything in it?” Carina
asked.

“Yeah, I did. Vodka.”

Angie took the glass and sniffed
it. It was rough. Very rough. Angie, on the other hand, began to drink as
though it was water. Carina took a sip and it burned her throat. She put the
glass down and hurried to wipe her lips.

“I have ice cream,” Carina said.
“Can we have that instead?”

“Only if you sing a song for me,”
Angie said.

“What?”

“You heard me. I’ve heard you sing
before. I’ve heard your music. It’s great. You make me jealous. I wish I could
sing and play piano.”

“You have a band,” Carina said.
“You have places to go. Things to do.”

“So do you,” Angie said. “I hate
that you can’t see it.”

“There’s nothing to see,” Carina
said. She touched the freezer. “Ice cream.”

“No. Sing first. Then ice cream.”

Carina looked at her bedroom. The
door was slightly open. She could just see the very end of her keyboard.

“You’re never going to believe who
helped me today,” Carina said.

“Oh yeah? Are you making excuses
not to sing for me?”

“Yes. But this is important. You’re
going to think I’m crazy.”

“I live in a world of crazy,” Angie
said. “I’ve slept with my bassist and drummer. They both don’t know about it
and yet I liked it. Should I continue?”

“The guitarist for Fallen Tuesday
is in town because his brother is in the hospital. His brother lives in this
building. Gray was here and I helped him open his brother’s apartment.”

“No way.”

“I wouldn’t lie. The keys sometimes
stick in these doors, so I showed him a trick on how to open it.”

“You’re telling me you walked up to
the guitarist from Fallen Tuesday and offered to turn a key for him?”

“When you ask it like that,” Carina
said and then she started to laugh. She grabbed the ice cream from the freezer
along with two spoons. “It’s ice cream time now.”

“Just a little,” Angie said. “So I
can hear this story.”

Carina walked to the couch. “There
is no story, Angie. I helped him… and then he helped me.”

Carina felt color rush to her face.

“He helped you?” Angie asked. “What
does that mean? Is this some type of sex dream of yours?”

“No,” Carina said. “Oh, this sounds
so stupid. It’s almost embarrassing. I was carrying groceries and Gray offered
to carry them to my apartment for me. So I let him. Then he left.”

“Just like that?”

“Well… he gave me his phone
number.”

Angie’s mouth fell open. “You have
the phone number for-”

“
The guitarist from Fallen
Tuesday
,” Carina said. “Yes. I do. I have it. Okay? That was the excitement
of my night.”

“You’re kidding me, right? You’re
trying to get me worked up.”

“Why would I joke about that?”

“Show me the number then.”

Carina rolled her eyes. She didn’t
feel like arguing with Angie all night, but this had taken her mind off Carina
playing keyboard and singing. Carina pulled the piece of paper with the phone
number on it off the fridge where she had put it. She handed it to the Angie
and smiled.

“Proof.”

“Let me call it,” Angie said.

“Don’t you dare.”

“Why not? What are you going to do
with it?”

“I don’t know. He’s in town because
of his brother. He said something about recording.”

“You should totally call him and
sleep with him.”

“Just like that?”

“Yes. That’s a hell of a story to
have.”

Carina dug into her chocolate chip
cookie dough and took a big mouthful. Her eyes watered as pain rolled through
her head for a few seconds.

“I’m not talking about it,” Carina
said. “It was just a fun story I wanted to tell you. That’s all.”

“Seriously?” Angie asked. “You’re
going to leave it at that?”

“Right now, yes. I have ice cream
to eat and thoughts to think.”

“You’re such a hermit,” Angie said.
She lunged and grabbed the pint of ice cream from Carina’s hand. “Give me
this.”

“What the hell?”

“Play me a song first.”

“No. I’m tired.”

“I don’t care. Play a song on that
keyboard. Sing. Open your heart and enjoy yourself.”

“Hey, I hung out with a rockstar
today,” Carina said. “I’ve done my part of enjoying myself.”

“Yeah, sure. Come on.”

Before Carina could protest, Angie
had her hand on Carina’s arm and was pulling her toward the bedroom. Carina
thought about protesting but knew better. She went into the bedroom and Angie
pointed to the keyboard.

“Do it,” Angie said.

“I don’t know what to sing,” Carina
said. “I’m not ready.”

“Nobody is ever ready. They just…
do things. Whatever. Come on. Don’t be like this in front of me.”

“Fine,” Carina said.

Her mouth quickly went dry and her
palms began to sweat. It was that instant. There was no reason for Carina to be
afraid to sing in front of Angie. They were friends and none of it mattered. On
the inside though, Carina felt like it was the biggest moment of her life. Even
bigger than meeting a really sexy rockstar in her building.

Carina sat at the keyboard and
looked over her shoulder. “This is going to piss of the neighbors.”

“Screw them,” Angie said. “You’re
an artist. Artists work when inspired.”

“I work at a restaurant,” Carina
said.

“Yeah, for money. This is your art,
which by the way, could turn into money.”

“How so?”

Angie put her hands to her hips.
“You and me.”

“Us? What about your band?”

“They’ll be there too, maybe,”
Angie said. “I could manage another band and some gigs. Imagine you and me on
stage…”

“I’m playing!” Carina called out as
she turned around and faced the keyboard.

She eyed the notebook in front of
her but decided against it. This wasn't a concert. This was Carina appeasing an
annoying friend… and maybe appeasing herself too.

Carina touched the keys and started
to play. She closed her eyes and took a few breaths as she tried to calm
herself. She let her hands and mind do all the work. Working into the song, she
purposely skipped where she needed to start singing. She needed more time.

When Carina finally did start to
sing, it was quiet.

“Can’t hear you!” Angie yelled,
making her presence still known.

Carina shook her head and regained
her thoughts. She sang a second time and it was much louder. Carina kept her
eyes shut. Her faced burned like she stood in the middle of summer heat. But
she sang and played one of her favorites she wrote, and she didn’t stop.

When the song came to an end, Carina
took a deep breath before facing Angie.

“That was amazing,” Angie gushed.
“You sing better than I do.”

“That’s a lie,” Carina said.

She turned off the keyboard and
stood. “I did my part. Can I have my ice cream back?”

Angie laughed. “Sure.”

Ten minutes later both women were
sitting on the couch, eating ice cream.

“I’m serious about what I said,”
Angie said. “About the singing. The playing. You’re really good. You could be
something.”

“I’m happy here.”

“No, you’re not. Maybe you should
call your rockstar and play for him. He’ll give you a break.”

Carina smiled. “Jealous?”

“Not at all. I think you’re stupid
for not calling him.”

Carina didn’t reply. She shoved a
spoonful of ice cream into her mouth and dealt with the cold pain.

Angie was right though. She was
stupid for not calling yet.

But there was always tomorrow.

(7)

It became
one of those nights
.
Gray rolled out of bed and felt like he’d been smacked in the head with a
hammer. He wandered the hotel room, looking for coffee though half open eyes
when Luke came from the bathroom smiling.

“Haven’t done that in a while,” he
said.

“I feel like hell, bro,” Gray said.
“We’re not young rockstars anymore, are we?”

“You’ve been out of the loop,” Luke
said. “Let’s get some food.”

“And coffee,” Gray said.

“And booze,” a third voice added.

Of course it was Mack. He looked
like hell but he was still smiling.

Soon the five members of Fallen
Tuesday were huddle around the kitchen counter that separated the kitchen from
the living room. They called for room service and wasted no time in talking
about the night before.

“We need to record,” Mack said.
“I’m not going to beat around the bush. All those songs we played last night.
Man, that was real…”

“That was good,” Luke said.

“They all need work,” Trent said.

“Sure they do,” Jake said.

“But it’s something,” Gray said.
“That’s the fun of it, right? We got back to work.”

“Unexpectedly,” Mack said as he
elbowed Luke.

“Are you sure though about this?”
Gray asked Luke. “With your voice and everything?”

“I’m sure,” Luke said. “Remember
what we talked about. Start small. Bring the fans back into it all. Build the
buzz… and then explode when the time is right.”

“I like it,” Mack said.

“Let’s call Frank,” Jake suggested.

“Whoa,” Gray said. “We need coffee
and food first to deal with Frank.”

“Yeah,” Luke laughed. “Plus, he’s
going to give you hell, Gray. About your plans…”

“Plans,” Gray whispered.

“Which are?” Mack asked.

Gray looked at Mack with pissed off
eyes.

“Relax,” Luke said.

Gray sighed. “He’s right. I need to
figure this out. Maybe I can shoot over to the studio for a day or two, then
stop back here. I don’t know what to do.”

“Do the doctors know anything yet?”
Luke asked. “I mean, are they going to let your brother…”

“Just be there in a hospital bed?”
Gray asked.

“Well, yeah.”

“I don’t know,” Gray said. “There’s
going to come a point where someone may have to make a decision. I’m sure it’ll
be put on my shoulders.”

“Shit,” Mack said. “That’s a tough
spot to be in.”

“Sorry,” Trent said.

“I’m glad you guys were here last
night,” Gray said. “That would have been a rough night alone. Honestly.”

Luke grabbed Gray’s shoulder.
“Brothers, my man, brothers.”

“Brothers,” Gray said.

“Brothers,” Mack said.

Trent and Jake nodded, both saying
the same.

The food - and coffee - came, so
the band ate like kings. Gray felt the tension starting to leave his head but
he knew damn well that a reminder of the night before would stay with him for
the rest of the day.

“Today,” Mack said as he swallowed
his last bite of breakfast. “We have to talk about today.”

“What’s today?” Gray asked.

“You know we can’t stay here,” Luke
said. “I mean, we’d love to.”

“I wouldn’t ask it,” Gray said.
“You don’t want to get involved. I almost beat up a drug dealer last night.”

Everyone raised an eyebrow to that
statement. Gray laughed and told them the story of Josh. “He was really nothing
more than a strung out punk. But he might have had a gun.”

“Probably did,” Mack said. “Christ,
Gray, you need to use your head.”

“I know,” Gray said. “I just want
an answer.”

“I can imagine,” Luke said.

Gray turned his head as he smirked.

“What’s that look for?” Jake asked.

“My day and night started to take
its turn when I tried to get into the apartment,” Gray said. “I got the door
open but I never went in. I was… distracted.”

“With what?” Luke asked.

“There was a woman who needed help
with her groceries.”

“How old?” Mack asked.

“What the hell does that matter?”
Gray snapped.

“Was it an elderly woman?”

“No,” Gray said. “Not at all. I
helped her to her apartment, and then gave her my cell number. Then I just
didn’t feel dealing with the apartment or my brother.”

“A distraction,” Luke said.

“You’re one to talk,” Mack said.
“You look like you’ve gained about ten pounds since Amy opened that bakery.”

Luke patted his still flat stomach.
“If so, they were well earned.”

“I’m going to go to the apartment
today. Then the hospital. I’m at my end here with this. I really don’t have
anyone else to talk to about this, except my mother. But I don’t know how she
feels. She just smokes and drinks coffee, and at night I’m pretty sure she
fills up on vodka.”

“Sorry, man,” Mack said. He grabbed
Gray’s shoulder and pulled. Mack wrapped his big arms around Gray and hugged
him.

Gray hugged back. “It’s fine. It’ll
work out. One way or another. This isn’t that much of a shock to me. I mean,
Peter has been dealing with this for a long time. Ever since our father died,
you know?”

“You’re a good brother,” Luke said.
“No matter what happens. You got him help. You checked up on him. I’m sorry he
strayed off the right course again though.”

“Me too,” Gray said. He looked to
the window. “Me too.”

They finished every last piece of
food on every plate and then took turns showering while the others played
instruments. It was an amazing feeling to sit with a guitar and create
something. That’s when the world felt right.

When it came to split up, Gray felt
his heart tearing a little. He could go back with the band. He could go to the
studio and record. If he got the phone call that his brother was awake - or
dead - he could be back in Liering in five hours. Or just use a private jet.
Staying served no real purpose yet Gray couldn’t bring himself to leave. He did
want to get into that apartment. And maybe part of him was hoping to bump into Carina
again. She had planted a firm spot in his mind, and the only reason he could
think of was because she just didn’t seem the type to be in that apartment
building. She looked out of place and she looked lost. She looked like Gray
felt and he enjoyed that.

Gray hugged all the guys and they
snuck out the back door to their rental car. They were gone and Gray stood
holding a guitar case, alone in the parking lot of the hotel. There was
something poignant about it. It was sad yet beautiful, and there was definitely
a song somewhere in that image, but first things first, he needed to get
moving.

The day had already gotten far away
from him. It was early afternoon when he called the hospital to check on Peter.
There was no change in his condition. Gray found it no use to go to the
hospital, or to his mother’s house. He set his sights back to the apartment. He
thought of Carina more than he thought of Peter as he walked into the building.

He went to Peter’s door and tried
the key.

It wouldn’t work.

Using the move Carina taught him,
Gray pushed down on the doorknob and turned. The key clicked and the door
opened. He stepped inside and shut the door. The apartment was deathly silent.
Not even the hum of the fridge.

It was messy, just how Peter would
have kept it. It had the smell of body odor, garbage that needed to be taken
out, and just stale air, probably from the apartments above and below the
apartment.

Gray walked carefully, looking
around. He first wondered where Peter had been found. Was it right on the floor
in the living room? Was it in the bedroom? Maybe the bathroom. Hell, it could
have been the kitchen.

The couches in the living room were
old. Peter probably found them on the side of the road. The coffee table was
beat up and covered in papers and magazines. There were ashtrays filled and
Gray was more than certain it wasn’t cigarettes being used in those ashtrays.
Gray kicked the coffee table and it tipped to one side, spilling everything to
the floor. It felt really good to do that.

Gray then hurried into the bedroom.
It was trashed. Clothes thrown around. The bed not made. The pillows and sheets
stunk of sweat. Gray opened a few of the drawers and didn’t find anything
suspicious, but Peter wouldn’t be that stupid to leave stuff out in the open.
Gray looked in the closet and there were more clothes on the floor than were hanging
up. As he walked along the bed, a terrible feeling came over Gray. This was the
home of a junkie. The way it smelled and looked. The feel of it. This wasn’t a
home or an apartment. This was just a place. A place to get high and crash. A
place to die.

“Damn,” Gray said.

He kicked the dresser and left the
bedroom. Next he checked the kitchen. There was a pan on the stove with dried
grease in it. It looked creamy and smelled burnt. The bread on the counter had a
greenish patch of mold on it. The fridge had eggs, orange juice, and beer on
the bottom shelf. The freezer had only an empty ice cube tray. Gray walked to
the small window in the kitchen and peered out.

"What the hell am I doing
here?” he asked.

There was nothing to find. Even if
he did find some drugs, what would it prove? It would prove that Peter really
was doing this. Gray wanted to be in denial of it all. Gray lowered his head
and thought it through. He pictured Peter as his baby bother. It was hard to
imagine him as a guy that would end up with addictions that took him here. When
he got his brother into rehab, Peter was alert and willing. Peter wanted to go
to rehab. He didn’t want to talk about what he had done or his problems, he
just wanted them solved. It was easy for Gray to accept that. But now, seeing
his brother in a hospital bed, hooked up to machines, it brought on that
reality.

Gray took a shaky breath. He lifted
his head and wiped his eyes.

There was nothing else for him
inside this apartment. The good that was that he had a key. He had Josh’s key,
which meant Josh couldn’t come here and snoop around or think he could crash
for free.

Gray walked through the apartment
one more time and then left. He pulled the door shut and locked it. He tapped
the door a few times.

“I’m sorry, Peter,” he whispered.
“I wish there was something I could do.”

Gray looked to his left and smiled.
There was the stairwell where Carina came from. The temptation to go to
Carina’s apartment rolled through Gray’s body, but when his cell phone rang, it
disappeared from his body.

It was his mother calling.

Gray let the call go to voicemail
and then he left the building. Once he was in his car he called his mother
back. She never left voicemails so Gray had no idea what she wanted.

Thankfully, she was just checking
up on Peter. There was nothing to check up on.

“It’s the same,” Gray said three
different times.

“Were you there yet, Gary? You
should go there.”

“Mom, have you gone there yet?”

There was silence. “No. I just
can’t.”

His mother began to gently cry.

“Mom…”

“I know,” Alice said. “I know. I’m
sorry. I just wish something would happen. Either way. Is that wrong to wish
for, Gary?”

“No, it’s fine,” Gray said. He’d
been thinking the same thing too.

“Will you go see him soon?” Alice
asked. She sounded hopeless and desperate.

“I promise, I will,” Gray said.
“Today. In a little while. I have some business to take care of first.”

“With your band?”

“Something like that,” Gray said.

His eyes caught sight of a car
parking two spots down. The door opened and when he saw Carina get out of the
car, his heart began to race.

“Mom, I have to go.”

“Gary, please don’t give up on him.
He’s your brother. My son. I’m sorry if I seemed strange yesterday…”

“It’s fine. I really have to go.”

Carina started to walk toward the
apartment building.

“Gary, I want you to know… I did my
best…”

“I know you did, Mom,” Gray said.
“We can talk about this soon, okay?”

Gray felt like an ass ending the
call with his mother like that, but he couldn’t help himself. He got out of the
car, unsure what he should do. He then decided to do probably the worst thing
possible.

Gray whistled at Carina.

*

When Carina woke that morning,
Angie had already been up for an hour. The woman didn’t need sleep. She was on
the phone, arguing with her drummer over a gig in two nights. The call ended
and Angie threw the phone to the couch.

“Word of advice,” Angie said,
“never sleep with your drummer.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Carina
said. “Good morning, by the way.”

“Yeah, morning to you,” Angie said.
“That man creates so much sexual tension between us… I swear I just want to…”

Angie made fists.

“You want to sleep with him again,”
Carina said.

“You have no idea.” Angie smiled.
“He makes me that way. Drives me mad. Anyway, let’s get breakfast. My treat.”

“I just went shopping yesterday,” Carina
said. “I can make us something.”

“No,” Angie said. “We’re going out.
I want to dish about your sexy rockstar encounter.” Angie grabbed her keys and
was on the move. “I also want to convince you to play a gig with me.”

Angie was out the door as Carina still
stood in her pajamas. She rushed to her bedroom and dressed in the first thing
she could find. She then hurried to pull her hair back and did her best with
the ten seconds she had to spare. As she left the apartment looking like a
messy hell, she just hoped she didn’t see anyone she knew.

Breakfast was delicious. If there
was one thing Angie could do besides be a female rockstar, she could find the
smallest dives that had the best damn food.

Angie pestered Carina the entire
time about her fear of singing in front of a crowd. There was no reason for the
fear so Carina didn’t have much to say. When Angie asked about Gray, Carina
blushed and shrugged her shoulders. To Angie, Gray would be an opportunity to
have some fun. For Carina, she wasn’t looking for fun like that. Carina had a
history of falling too fast, because she hated to be alone. For some reason, Carina
saw a look about Gray that seemed lost. Carina could appreciate that. She
wanted to learn abut him and maybe have a friend that could relate to her.