Aligned: Volume 4 (3 page)

I narrow my eyes. “Why?”
 

“Because it’s not real. We will never be husband and wife. I don’t want it. I want to find a real husband. I want to find someone who loves me.”
 

I take the ring from her and hold onto her hand. “You’re wrong. This is real.” I reach out and touch her stomach. “This baby is real. We love each other whether it is in a husband and wife relationship or not. That’s what this ring represents. A friendship and love that will last no matter what. Even if it doesn’t turn into marriage.”
 

A soft sob escapes her lips. “But I want marriage. That will never happen.”
 

I bite my lip to keep the words from coming out of my mouth. But it doesn’t help. She needs to hear them because they are true.
 

“Never say never.”
 

She sucks in a breath as she realizes the words are true. Painfully true. We could still end up married. If Alex wants nothing to with me and Caroline gives up looking for a future filled with romantic love, then we could. If we both fall hard for this baby, as I’m afraid we will, then we will end up together. It’s inevitable. I slip the ring back on her finger. Back where it belongs. I just don’t know what the ring means anymore.
 

Caroline looks at me, and it’s all it takes. I devour her with my lips, catching her breath between my lips.
 

“Dammit, Landon! You’re late to your own rehearsal. We only have twenty minutes now to go through a two-hour show. All we have time to do now is a sound check.”
 

I’m going to kill him. He can’t keep pulling this shit. I don’t care how much he loves spending time with Alex. He has to get his head into his music career before the label drops him. Before he loses it all.
 

“Sorry,” is all I get before he hops onto the stage.
 

When he moves, that’s when I see her. Caroline. She’s standing next to the stage with her arms wrapped around her stomach. She looks sad — incredibly sad — and I can’t help but think I might be part of the reason for her sadness.
 

We’ve been friends a long time. It was always the three of us. Landon, Caroline, and me. We were inseparable. But life has drifted us all apart and then twisted us together in ways none of us understands.
 

I screwed up. I’m the reason Landon walked out of his wedding. I’m the reason that he didn’t say I do. I’m the reason Caroline and Landon aren’t married right now.
 

I could have kept my mouth shut. I didn’t have to tell Landon that Alex was in the hospital. I couldn’t, though. I had to tell him. I had to stop him from making a huge mistake. I had to stop Caroline from making an even bigger mistake. She deserves better than Landon. He doesn’t love her. Not like he should.
 

I’ve made other mistakes when it comes to Caroline, though. Mistakes she will never forgive me for. A mistake that I don’t regret, though. I may live with this ache in my chest for the rest of my life, but the pain is well worth the one night.
 

I walk over to Caroline curious as to what she is doing here. I expected Landon to have given her the cold shoulder after their meeting today. I expected her to be on a flight headed home. I expected her to be glaring mad at Landon if she did show up here. Instead, she is looking up at Landon with hope.
 

My heart flutters hard in my chest with every step I take closer to her. Nobody makes me feel this nervous. Nobody makes me feel this way. Just her.
 

“What are you doing here?” I ask and then hate myself for the words that come out of my mouth. I haven’t spoken with Caroline since the wedding. I didn’t want those to be the first words out of my mouth when I saw her again.
 

She looks at me in disgust. “I’m here to see Landon.”
 

I put my hands in my suit jacket pockets as I stand awkwardly next to her. I have no idea what to say. There are no words to make this better. There are no words.
 

But I find words anyway. “I’m sorry.”
 

She wipes under her eye trying to pretend she is just getting something out of it. But I know. She was wiping away a tear. Because of me.
 

Landon may have treated Caroline poorly, but I’m the one who destroyed her. I’m the one who ruined everything.
 

“Shouldn’t you be barking orders or on your phone or something,” she snaps.
 

My hand reaches out to her of its own accord, but I stop it short of touching her. “No.”
 

She narrows her eyes at me. “Leave me alone, Drew.”
 

“I can’t.”
 

She just shakes her head while keeping her eyes on Landon. So I just stand next to her while watching my twin brother sing on stage.
 

I will never understand what she sees in Landon. Sure, he’s good looking. Landon and I look practically the same. I guess being identical twins will do that. Other than a different hairstyle and slightly different muscular build, you couldn’t tell the two of us apart. Our looks are where the similarities end, though. Landon is outgoing, arrogant, and a typical bad boy while I’m loyal, honest, and responsible. Why would anybody want Landon? Why would she want somebody obviously hung up on another woman? I love my brother, but I will never understand why she thinks he is so amazing. Not after what he did.
 

Darren signals that the rehearsal is over, and Landon immediately jumps off the stage and walks over to us. I expect he is going to want to know how much time he has before he needs to be in wardrobe so that he can call Alex. Or to ask me to send her flowers or something. He isn’t running over to me, though. He’s running over to Caroline.
 

My eyes widen when I see him grab her hand. I try to get his attention to give him a quizzical look, but his eyes stay on Caroline. Both are filled with worry. Both are speaking to each other without speaking. I just have no idea what their eyes are saying.
 

“Caroline and I are going to go to my dressing room. Make sure nobody disturbs us unless absolutely necessary,” Landon says. Still not glancing my way.
 

Instead of responding in my usual business manner, I freeze. Why the hell would Landon want Caroline alone in his dressing room? It doesn’t make sense. The dancers and backstage crew will just start rumors. Eventually, one of them will leak the story to the media, and then Alex will find out. Why even chance it? Even if they aren’t fucking. Why? After everything he did to get Alex back, he’s just going to let it all go for something stupid.
 

“Earth to Drew,” he says. His eyes have moved from Caroline’s to mine, but just long enough to know that there is life behind my eyes.
 

“Okay,” I say.
 

That’s all Landon needs to hear. He grabs hold of Caroline’s hand again and pulls her toward his dressing room. I don’t follow despite how much I want to. I stay.
 

“God, please don’t tell me he is back with that bitch,” Nicole, one of the stage manager says.
 

“No. He’s not.” Fuck, it didn’t take five seconds for people to notice Caroline here.
 

“That’s a relief.”

“She’s not that bad,” I say. She’s just broken. Just like the rest of us.
 

“No, she’s worse. I just hope he gets rid of her before the show.”
 

“If she stays to watch the show. Be nice,” I say narrowing my eyes at her.
 

She rolls her eyes at me as if I’m crazy. “Don’t count on it. If she is here, I plan on staying as far away from her as possible.”
 

I run my hand through my hair and grab the base of my neck. I have to push Caroline out of my head. I have to get back to work. I’ve done it my entire life, so I can do it again now. No matter how hard it is.
 

4. The number of items in my backpack. A spare item of clothing, an old camera, twenty bucks, and my mother’s painting. That’s all I have as I stand on the edge of the street at eighteen years old. I don’t have a foster family to take care of me anymore. I’m on my own.
 

I pull into the parking lot for the private airfield. I’m happy that Landon flew private instead of commercial. I don’t think I could handle the paparazzi or crowds. I just want to be in his arms, where it’s safe.
 

I park the car between two Audis and turn off the engine. I don’t get out, though. I don’t want to make a scene inside the terminal. So instead, I sit fidgeting in the car that used to be my safe haven, but now that I know it held secrets from me, I’m not sure how I feel about this car anymore. It doesn’t feel safe anymore.
 

Landon isn’t safe either. Not anymore. Not when he’s with me. I need to convince Drew to hire some bodyguards especially when Landon is out in public. I don’t want Ethan to hurt him. I don’t want anyone to hurt him. But I can’t tell him the truth. I can’t tell him it was Ethan. He’d either kill Ethan or prevent me from doing what I need to do. Either way, I can’t take the chance.
 

I glance up, and that’s when I see him walking from the private terminal toward me. I smile automatically although there is nothing to smile about. Still, just seeing him makes me happy even when nothing else in my life should.
 

He climbs in the car, but his face isn’t as bright as it should be. His smile is weak, forced. His flight must have been terrible. Seeing Caroline again must have been horrible.
 

Our arms go around each other on autopilot, and I exhale deeply. I feel safe, even when I know I’m not. I feel it.
 

We stay like this much longer than usual as the tension leaves both our bodies. This should be over. We should be able to live our lives now the way we want. But this is far from over. I don’t know if he realizes it. I don’t know if he senses it seeping out of my pores, but when he pulls away, his body is saying the same as mine. I love you, but...

But this fight isn’t over.
 

But you’re not mine yet.
 

But there is so much more yet to discover about ourselves. About our pasts.
 

But we can’t just be happy.
 

But we might not ever really belong together.
 

I turn the ignition in Tessie back on and pull out of my parking spot. It’s weird that he doesn’t speak when he should have so much to say. It’s weird that I don’t speak either, I realize.
 

“How was your flight?” I finally ask.
 

“Fine,” he says harshly. His hand goes to his head rubbing it as if he is trying to rub away every thought he has ever had.
 

“How was the concert?”
 

“Fine.”
 

“How was Caroline?”
 

“Fine.”
 

I stomp on the brakes harder than I intended to and the car screeches to a stop in the middle of the road. I hear a car honk behind us, but I don’t care. I’m not moving until I have answers.
 

“What the hell, Alex?” Landon reaches over and tries to grab the steering wheel from me, but I push him back.
 

“Don’t what the hell me. What is going on? You haven’t answered one question since you got in this car, and you look like the walking dead. What the hell happened in Chicago?”
 

Landon glares at me, his face growing redder by the second.
 

“Nothing! Nothing fucking happened! I’m just not in a good mood. I’m entitled to not be a fucking smiling idiot every time I’m around you.”
 

“What fucking happened? Why the hell are you so pissed off? Is it Caroline? Is she still upset with you?”

Landon turns away from me looking out the window as rain begins pouring down outside my car, mirroring how I feel inside.
 

“Get out of the goddamn street, Alex.”
 

I lift my foot off the brake and ease on the gas. I drive up a couple of more blocks before I find a place to turn off in a dark alley where we won’t be bothered.
 

I park Tessie and turn off the ignition. I wait trying to calm my anger. I need to give him a chance to tell me what happened. It’s not as if I’ve been forthcoming with what is going on in my life. But my patience runs dry.
 

“What happened with you and Caroline?”
 

He runs his hand through his hair still not answering me.
 

I grab his arm trying to get him to look at me, but he just pushes me away. Why is it so hard for him to talk about somebody he hates? Did something happen to make him change his mind?

“You changed your mind,” I say as I fall back into my chair.
 

“What?” His attention moves back to mine.
 

“You changed your mind. You want to be with her, not me.”
 

Landon grabs my neck and pulls me to him, kissing me hard on the lips. His kiss is desperate. It’s needy. It’s everything a kiss should be. I feel empty when his lips move away, left panting hard in their absence. The kiss was just as good as his last kiss. Nothing has changed there. I rub my fingers over my lip as it tingles from where his lips just were.
 

“Then what?”
 

He shakes his head. “I love you, Alex. Just after seeing Caroline, I’m frustrated. I’m frustrated that we will always have these attachments. These complications that we can never get rid of.”
 

“What do you mean?”
 

“I mean I will always have Caroline. You will always have Ethan.”