All Good Things Exposed (11 page)

"You're not living with me." I said quickly and she frowned.

"I know. But spending five days a week with you at your place is practically living with you." She pulled on the fabric of her cream pencil skirt, stressing it. "She deserves an explanation and I don't have one so I'm going to stay home tonight."

"No you're not." I shook my head. The thought of having to go an entire night without burying myself inside her was too much to bear. I couldn't do it. "You're coming home with me." I pulled to the curb of Liv Books Café and smiled at the name. She chose well.

"You can't tell me what I can and cannot do." She set her hand on the door handle and I felt my heart grow heavy in my chest. If she stepped out of the car and walked away, I didn't know what I would do. I would be forced to chase her down. I would be forced to abandon my car in the no parking zone to chase her and convince her to somehow change her mind. Rather than having to deal with the hassle of that, I shoulder checked and floored it back into traffic.

"Jace!" Olivia cried. "What are you doing?"

"We have something to discuss and you're not running away from me until we've figured it out."

"Oh Hell," She moaned, covering her eyes with her hand. "You're serious."

"I don't joke when it comes to you. You know this." I signaled into another lane.

She groaned. "Jace, this isn't normal."

She didn't think I knew that already? Of course I knew it wasn't normal! None of this was normal. The fact that I couldn't get enough of her wasn't normal. The fact that I wanted her again after having her so many times wasn't normal. Instead, like an ass, I pulled out the facts. Because that's all I have. "My submissives are 24/7, Olivia."

She shot me a glare. "I'll be your submissive in the bedroom and I will try my hardest to be there five
nights
out of the week. But I have a life." She shook her head on a sigh. "Apparently your other submissives allowed their lives to revolve around you and only you. I won't be like that, Jace." She focused steely eyes on me and said again. "I will never very be that way. You need to let go of that ridiculous idea."

"You agreed,"

She cut me off. "I agreed to allow you to use my body for sex. Nothing else. My life is still mine." Her hand shook as she unbuckled her seat belt. "Pull over."

"No."

"Pull over or I am jumping out at the next red light."

"Grow up, Olivia."

"You grow up."

She tugged on the door handle. "Are you fucking kidding me?" I yelled and she flinched. "You're really starting to piss me off."

"Get over it." She snapped as the car rolled to a stop at a red light. I watched with tight fists on the steering wheel as she pushed herself from the car and ran across the road onto the sidewalk.

I watched her run. I was fucking fuming. I felt my heart thunder against the cage in my chest. My hands were sweaty against the steering wheel and my throat felt tight with anger. I was livid.

When I got my hands on her…she would know just how angry she'd made me. Without thinking twice about the rage I felt building in my chest, I took my next right to circle my way back to her café.

***

Who the hell did he think he was? I shifted my purse higher onto my shoulder and cursed the sexy high heels I wore. Damn! These were not the shoes to walk a few New York blocks in. I should have taken Jace's insane craziness into consideration when I dressed for work. But I hadn't. Instead, I had been sated by sex. Yes, I was slowly coming onto Jace's way of numbing my mind from pushing discussion of things he didn't agree with. Slowly, I was beginning to understand Jace felt he could control every aspect of my life. Had I in some weird way given him that assumption? Was I the reason he was hell bent on controlling me?

Oh God - I needed a release. My emotions were too much and I felt as though I were about to suffocate. I needed an outlet and I knew I couldn't exactly call Jace for sex…as good as I knew it would be. I needed the next best thing. Without thought or consideration, I hailed a taxi, jumped in, rambled an address and fished my phone from my purse. I dialed Trisha's number and was surprised when the first ring was cut short.

"Where are you, Liv?" She asked.

"I'll be a few hours, Trisha." I winced before continuing. "Can you stay?"

"Everything here is fine." She said breezily. "The girls you hired are all amazing. And Franco is pretty great too. The women love him."

"Franco? Really? He's gay."

"Oh, I know." She laughed. "But he is a mean flirt."

"Oh dear," I shook my head and chomped down on my lip to keep myself from laughing hysterically. "I'll have to see this flirt for myself."

"Oh, he is gaining quite the clientele."

"I'm sure." I nodded. "So, everything is going good?"

"Yes. You're not needed."

"Thanks." I replied dryly. "How kind."

"I'm just telling you the truth." She said sincerely. "So, your turn."

"What?"

"I'm being all forthcoming. It's your turn." I could practically see her rolling her eyes. "Come on, out with it."

"Out with what, exactly?"

"Out with why you can't come in. Out with what happened with you and Jace last night. Out with,"

I interrupted her. "Out with why my best friend called the man I've been broken over for the last seven weeks when I was finally finding some semblance of normality with my friends?"

She huffed. "We've been over this. I was worried about you, Liv. I care about you. And, you weren't finding any semblance of normality. You were trying to drown yourself in tequila."

It was true, but I wasn't about to tell her this. "Whatever. I'm not coming in because I have somewhere to be. And as for the night with Jace, it was great…it's facing the day with him that's hard."

"Why is facing the day with him hard?" Trisha asked. I could hear the tenseness in her tone and I shook my head incredulously.

"It's hard because," I paused. "I'm at my stop, love. I've gotta go."

"Wait! Liv!"

I hung up the phone, passed the cabbie some cash and opened the door. I climbed from the back seat and stepping onto the asphalt. A rush of adrenaline soared in my veins and I knew this was exactly where I was supposed to be. In this moment, the only thing that could have made this any better would have been if Jace was here and I was in the passenger seat of the Bugatti.

A bald headed man appeared from the door. "Olivia! You're here!"

"Hi Kyle," I smiled and he grinned easily in return."

"You're looking good." He nodded his approval. "What happened?"

"Jace happened." I smiled shyly. I'd spent a few nights riding with Kyle when I left Jace. We never spoke about it. I'd never wanted to. But he always made it clear that he was there to listen if I ever needed it. But I think he knew as well as I knew what I really needed. I needed the thrill of the speed. The smell of burning rubber on the asphalt. The scream of the engine as gears revved. The sweaty palms and the flutter in the stomach. But what I needed most was the reminder that I was capable of feeling. I needed to know I was still alive and driving on the track did it for me. The speed did it for me. It helped me numb my mind and just feel alive. It was beautiful. It was a feeling that simply couldn't be rivaled.

Kyle rocked back on his heels, bringing me back down to reality. "You're seeing Jace Rush again?"

I nodded and fought the urge to wince. "I am."

"All right, Kid." He sighed. "It's your choice. But, I just didn't like seeing you the way you were the last few weeks, ya know?"

"I know, Kyle." I nodded. "I'm happy now though."

He chuckled half-heartedly, running a hand over his bald head. "If you're happy - why are you here?"

"Because I will always love this speed. It will always help me when my anger or anxiety becomes too much." I shrugged. "Some people like yoga. I like this."

He grinned. "You're my kinda girl." He thumbed in the direction of the track. "Let's get out there."

"Really?" I sighed in relief. I hadn't called and I didn't know if it would be free and open. Kyle told me to call anytime and so long as he was here and there was no one else on the track he would take me out. Thankfully he didn't make me pay or I would be broke!

"Yes, really kid." He started walking and I followed.

***

I sat in the passenger seat of the familiar blue Nissan GT-R and swallowed my swollen heart. It was up in my throat. But it always was right before Kyle was about to take off. My palms were moist and I wiped them down on my skirt. Kyle looked across the car at me and grinned. He waggled his brows and I knew we were about to take off. I set my eyes on the road ahead. The engine revved and we took off. My back pushed flush against the leather seat and my stomach tightened. The car climbed gears and the speedometer was close to redlining. For the first time since driving, I closed my eyes and just let myself feel the speed. The rush of the car splicing through the air at killer speeds. It was fantastic and so completely peaceful. There was nothing that could compete. It was exhilarating.

The tires turned, the tread catching the pebbles in the road. My heart beat faster in my chest, a painful high-strung melody of pulses I reveled in. I knew I was safe with Kyle's hands on the wheel. I knew I was safe with Kyle controlling the car. So, why couldn't I accept the idea of Jace controlling my life when I found it so easy for Kyle to take me on a walk along death's pathway? Why did it frighten me so very bad that I might decide to give Jace that power over me?

I didn't know. I just didn't know. Jace was everything I wanted, of that I was certain. But he frightened me none-the-less. He had the power to not only control me. He had the power to make me and he had the power to break me. Everything he was terrified me, pushing me to the brink of insanity.

The engine whined as it came down off it's elating high and I opened my eyes. Kyle was looking over at me with a look of thought on his face. I felt my skin tingle with the formations of a blush.

"You closed your eyes."

"I did." I nodded and tried to ignore the way my ears burned.

"You've never been able to trust enough to close your eyes." He pointed out as the car rolled to a stop.

"Thanks for stating the obvious," I joked.

"I'm serious, Olivia. One of your greatest faults is your inability to trust in anything or anyone, yourself included. Even things like this, being a passenger in this car and needing to watch the road as though it gives you some semblance of control - when it truly doesn't is your way of grappling for control over your life. What is it you fear so much that you can't let go and trust?"

Wow. That hit home. Kyle was usually a man of very few words. So this came as a surprise and for a moment I was rendered completely speechless. When I found my voice, all I could utter was, "I don't know."

"You do know, Olivia." He nodded more to himself then to me. "We all know our own demons. It's facing them that's hard."

I shivered. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"You do." He said simply. "And one day, although clearly not today, you will be ready to admit that."

This was uncomfortable. "I should get going."

"Olivia?" Kyle called as I opened the door. "Be careful with Jace. He's protective of what he loves. But he is also dangerous to those who stand in the way of something he wants. I like the guy, but I also know him better then you might think."

"I'll be careful, Kyle." I smiled. "I'll see you again soon." I promised and I had a feeling I would. I didn't see Jace calming his control freak issues any time soon. And I was certain I would need my outlet. I just hoped he never found out where I went. For some reason, I didn't think Jace would be all too happy if he knew I went gallivanting across New York to Kyle for release. But it was where I felt I could breathe when no other place would do. I needed this. I would just have to keep it to myself.

***

I paced the floor my office in my bare feet. My shoes were killing me and I vowed to never wear them again. I knew it was a vow I would break. The shoes were so freaking adorable, I couldn't imagine their life being lived out in the back of a closet. It would be an offence I simply could not imagine committing. They currently sat on the plush area rug by the fireplace. I paused my pacing to stare at the shoes and glared. They weren't yet forgiven. Adorable or not, they'd given me blisters.

I'd come straight to the café as soon as I was done riding with Kyle. Trisha had been relentless on the fact that I could just take the rest of the day off too. The girl loathed work. But she liked Franco and I knew that was why she wanted to stay. It took me nearly an hour to get her to walk to the front door. When she and Franco continued with their easy bantering there, I'd thrown my hands up in defeat and walked to the back of the café.

I wanted to be alone with my thoughts and I couldn't think of a better, more peaceful place then in my own domain of quietness. With the fireplace lit and the serine gold coloring of the walls, I felt calm.

"Olivia." The familiar deep voice pulled a shiver from within my body, rattling my bones.

I spun around to face the sharp blue eyes that seemed to look right through me. They saw every part of me. Even the parts I longed to keep hidden. He leaned against the open door with his arms crossed over his chest. His jaw was stiff and his stance unmoving. My breath caught. "Jace?"

"Where were you, Olivia?"

I frowned. "What do you mean?"

"When you dodged from my car like a lunatic, I thought you'd come here like you said you would. But you didn't come here. Where did you go?" He stepped forward, letting the door fall closed behind him.

I crossed my arms over my chest. "I had somewhere I had to be."

"Where?" he cocked his head.

"It's none of your business." I said sternly.

He shook his head on a tisk. "You see that's where you're wrong."

"How so?"

"Everything about you is my business. As my submissive I have a right to know where you go in the day. I have a right to know what you're doing and who you're doing it with."