All The Little Moments (16 page)

“So go on a date with her, for Christ’s sake! I’ve been watching you two deliver coffees to each other and flirt over stale cafeteria food for a
week now.”

Anna blinked over her coffee at Kym. She’d been driving herself so mad with worries about being fair to the kids, she hadn’t realized she was being
that
obvious.

“Uh…okay?”

Kym leant her shoulder against the wall, facing Anna with her arms crossed. “Look, I’m sorry, but you want to see her out of work? Do it. So you have those two kids—that doesn’t mean your
life stops.”

“But what
if they—”

“They won’t feel like you’re neglecting
them, Anna.”

Clearly, she’d verbalised this to Kym more than she had
realised. “But—”

“No. They won’t. Keep it all separate for now, if that’s what you need to do. Really, that makes sense. All three of you have had huge life changes. It’s okay to do that. But, seriously, go on a damn date so I can live vicariously through you. Since the bar last weekend, you’ve been itching to see her outside
of work.”

Anna sipped her coffee, eyes wide. “You know me far
too well.”

“It’s creepy, considering this friendship is younger than the carton of milk in
my fridge.”

“Ew.”

“I’m not
home much.”

“Still sleeping at
the hospital?”

Kym shrugged. “Most of
the time.”

“When do I need to start to worry
about that?”

“When I try and move a cat into my office lounge. Then,
 
then
 
you may have
me committed.”

“Check. First sign of feline in the hospital, I worry.” She tilted her head slightly, taking Kym in. “Though I may before
then, too.”

Kym smiled softly, reaching over to accept the coffee the attendant handed out to her. They stayed against the wall, Anna content to completely avoid starting her workday. The mountain of paperwork she had waiting couldn’t be delayed for much
longer, however.

“Deal. Now, date.
You. Soon.”

“Okay. Fine. I just don’t
know when.”

“Well, you have Saturday off. I recall Lane saying she has an early finish that day, and when I was a creep last night, I checked the nurses’ roster. She’s on an afternoon shift Sunday. What about a good old Saturday
night date?”

“You’ve been
planning this.”

“Well, you weren’t going to get off your ass and do it. And Lane’s being so overly respectful of you and your life that she doesn’t want to push it, so that
left me.”

Anna laughed out loud, trying to hide the sappy look that the mention of Lane surely produced on her face. “What about the kids? My mum’s been dropping everything to take care of them for me. I don’t know if I can ask this
of her.”

“And I’m sure she’d do it again; but if you don’t want to ask, how about
I babysit?”

Anna’s mouth almost dropped open. “You’d
do that?”

“Why not? I’m not some fifteen-year-old who’s going to have my boyfriend come over and put cigarette holes in your couch. I’m a doctor, kind of, and I vaguely remember what kids like to do in their
spare time.”

“Kym, that would
be amazing.”

“Well, I’m fairly amazing, so that’s
a given.”

“Okay. I’ll
ask Lane.”

“Excellent. I’m like a skinny Cupid, only mildly taller and with
more swag.”

Anna nearly spit her coffee out. “Did you just say you
have swag?”

“Can’t pull
that off?”

“No. But try, more often, please. One question—are you free tonight to come over and meet the
kids first?”

Kym grimaced. “No, sorry. I’ve taken the
on call.”

Anna gnawed her lip, then shrugged. “No problem. I’ll talk with Ella, and, if it doesn’t seem to go smoothly, we’ll do it
another night.”

“Are
you worried?”

“A little.” At Kym’s expectant look, Anna sighed. “I spoke to Ella’s counsellor at school the other day. Ella’s doing, you know, okay. But she is still withdrawn and quiet. The woman said that she probably
feels isolated.”

“That’s not surprising.” Kym’s words
were gentle.

“That’s what I said—I mean, her friends can’t understand how she’s feeling. I don’t think
Ella
can know how she’s feeling. I just—she was so, vibrant, before. A ball of energy.
Chatty. Inquisitive.”

“Her whole
life changed.”

Anna flicked her nail against the plastic lid of the coffee cup, warm in her hand. It felt good to talk about this with someone who understood a little. Her mother was wonderful, but Anna found herself supporting
her
in her grief—not that she minded; it was a good distraction. And her father still stayed locked in
his study.

“It really has. Sometimes the old Ella kind of shines through for brief moments—especially with Toby. But it’s so rare and short-lived.” Anna didn’t mention the way protectiveness now washed over her in waves when she watched the two kids. She gave a half shrug as they started walking towards the elevator. “I’m sure she’ll be fine with you at the house. It’s just…I want to be careful
with her.”

“If there’s any problems, I’ll call. And if Ella is uncomfortable, we’ll try
another time.”

“Good plan.” Anna shot her a grateful look, then grinned. “I just thought she could use a warm-up to get used
to you.”

“Uh, excuse me. I’m skinny Cupid and also a tenacious child whisperer. It will go amazingly—just you watch. Maybe I’ll show up in a
ballerina outfit.”

They went their separate ways, Anna chuckling at the image Kym had given her. Before she could pull out her phone to text Lane, her pager went off, and she was pulled into the intensity of an
emergency surgery.

It had been a smooth operation, which meant she had sat most of the time writing vital observations and reading an article to try to catch up on her professional development hours. But, by the time she found time to get in contact with Lane, it was the end of the day and time to pick up Toby from day care. She hadn’t even
eaten lunch.

Toby hit her legs at a run before she’d walked more than three steps into the day care. Once he was in her arms, he wrapped his chubby arms around her neck and patted her in his funny
little way.

“Hey, little man.” She looked up at Tanya, waved, and signed Toby out on the register. New dinosaur backpack in hand, they
headed out.

“Sorry I didn’t make it in for a visit this afternoon, Tobes. Work
was hectic.”

Anna usually went into the day care at least twice a day if she could. The sight of Toby barrelling towards her, ecstatic at her visit, always left her feeling
warm inside.

She pulled out her phone and tapped out a text quickly, holding it high as Toby tried to grab it from her. It was scary how well he could flick through things on
her iPhone.

Hey, Lane. Are you free this Saturday night? I was wondering if you wanted to knock my socks off with
that date...

She hit
send
and slipped her phone back into her pocket. “Did you play trains
today, Tobes?”

“Thomas.”

“Thomas, huh? Doesn’t Percy get jealous that you don’t play with him
very much?”

Toby just blinked
at her.

“Yeah,
never mind.”

“Anna!”

She had been so focused on the text and then Toby that she hadn’t even realized she’d entered the lobby. When she stopped in her tracks and turned around, there was Lane, quickly walking up
behind her.

“Hey.”

Lane waved her phone hand in the air, her eyes on Toby, who was staring back at her, wide eyed. “I just got your text. Hey there, cutie!” She looked from Toby to Anna. “Wow, I see what Ella meant when she said he looks even more like you than
she does.”

As Anna jostled Toby gently on her hip, he raised his hand to his mouth to suck on his fingers, something he’d started to do when he didn’t have
his blanket.

“Yeah, people always assume he’s mine.” She smiled sadly as she reached up and tugged at his hand to pop the fingers out of his mouth. She was rewarded with a long train of saliva that fell on her
shoulder. Sexy.

Toby kept staring at Lane, little face serious even though she grinned
at him.

“He’s
gorgeous, Anna.”

“I think so.” She looked at Toby. “And you certainly know it.” She poked him in the tummy, trying to get the serious look off his face. He yelped, giggling and burying his face into Anna’s neck, wrapping his arms
around her.

Lane looked like she wanted to scoop him up and cuddle him. “He always
this shy?”

“Not
even remotely.”

“I didn’t think so.” Lane caught Anna’s eye. “I’m in for Saturday, by the way. As if there was
any question.”

Anna ran a hand up and down Toby’s
back. “Great.”

“Can I pick you up?
Say, six?”

“Six thirty okay? Then this one will
be asleep.”

“Six thirty is perfect. Be prepared to have your socks
knocked off.”

“Awesome.”

“What do you say, Toby?” Toby peeked up at Lane from Anna’s shoulder. “Can I steal your aunty for a
little while?”

“My Na.” He buried his face back into
her neck.

Lane grinned, and Anna rolled her eyes, poking him in the ribs again so he gave a squeal of laughter. “You can share,
little man.”

“My shift is nowhere near finished, so I have to run. But I’ll see you for
lunch tomorrow?”

“Definitely.”

Lane hovered for a minute, looking like the last thing she wanted to do was leave. Finally, she took a step backwards, smiling ruefully. “I’ll see you, then.
Bye, Toby!”

At the last moment before she left, Toby sat up,
waving. “Bye-bye!”

Anna tickled him again, and
he wriggled.

With a final wave, Lane walked away, Anna’s eyes on her until she disappeared from view. There was an idiotic look on her face, she knew it; she just
didn’t care.

She looked to Toby, who was looking after Lane as if he regretted not being nicer, now that the lady with the pretty smile had gone. He looked to Anna,
almost confused.

“You’ll see her again, Tobes,
I’m sure.”

He nodded seriously and stuck his fingers back in
his mouth.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

“Why are you in
a
dress?”

Anna turned from the mirror and saw Ella peering around the doorframe
at her.

Tattered blanket in hand, Toby stood in front of her. He grinned at Anna before running forward and colliding with her knees. Unable to say no to the blue eyes staring up at her, Anna swung him onto her hip. Instantly, he dropped his head on her shoulder, hand coming up to splay his tiny fingers over her collarbone, blanket held tight
between them.

She ran her fingers over his hair, soft after a wash. He was incredibly sweet and endearing at this time of night, sleepy and cuddly. She’d had no idea a child possessed the ability to melt her
this much.

Looking down at herself, Anna asked, “Is it a
bad dress?”

Strawberry-blonde hair flicked around her face as Ella shook her head adamantly. “No! You look really pretty.” She sat on the edge of Anna’s bed, cradling her marker-covered orange cast in her arm. Her face scrunched up as she continued to peer at Anna. “But you never
wear dresses.”

Smiling wryly, Anna turned back to the mirror and, without thinking, said, “I used to,
Ella Bella.”

“Why don’t you now?” Ella’s voice
was curious.

Anna paused, gazing at the half-asleep Toby on her hip. Her red cocktail dress had never seen a child near it before. It had always been Anna’s go-to dress, the neckline low enough to catch someone’s eye without being too out-there, the skirt swishing around her knees as she moved in a way that she loved. However, it was the back that sold it, cut down between her shoulder blades. Her light brown hair was out and loose, blow-dried straight. Anna made sure to keep the smile on her face, running her fingers through Toby’s hair again and turning away from the mirror to look at Ella, who was watching
her innocently.

“I’ve just been so busy with my
new job.”

Ella nodded, eyes serious. “You have an important job. Grandma told me you help save lives. Like Nurse Lane saved
my arm.”

“Exactly.”

“Can I do that when I
grow up?”

“Is that what you want
to do?”

She took a second to think, then shook her head. “I want to own an ice
cream truck.”

Anna bent down and rubbed her nose against Ella’s. Ella shook her head back and forth to reciprocate
the motion.

“You can do that, if you want. You could be like Ben and Jerry, and make whole new flavours of
ice cream.”

Bouncing on the bed, Ella’s eyes lit up. “I could make macaroni and cheese
ice cream!”

Anna wrinkled her nose. “Mac and cheese
ice cream?”

“Yeah.”

“As
a flavour?”

“My favourite dinner is mac and cheese with ice cream as dessert. That way I get all
of it.”

“Just ’cause it mixes in your tummy doesn’t mean it should mix in
your mouth.”

“Oh.”

Anna reached out her spare hand, still holding Toby with the other arm. He was blinking steadily to ward off sleep. Wrapping her fingers around Ella’s small hand, Anna lifted her to
her feet.

“If you want to make it a flavour, you can, Ella Bella. Actually, we had mac and cheese for dinner. So you get some i-c-e c-r-e-a-m after Toby is
in bed.”

Ella’s eyes lit up as they walked out to the hallway and down the stairs.
“I do?”

“It’s Saturday night. I don’t see
why not.”

“No
school tomorrow.”

Anna shook her head as they walked into the living room. “Nope. You can stay up with Kym and watch a DVD. Have you
picked one?”

Flopping onto her beanbag, Ella crossed her legs in front of her. “Yup.
Beauty and
the Beast
.”

Taking a seat on the couch, Anna shifted Toby so he sat on her lap with his legs wrapped around her, head nestled into her neck. She rubbed his back up and down. “Good choice. I think Kym will
like it.”

“Will I
like Kym?”

Purposefully fiddling with her cast, Ella avoided Anna’s eye. “I think you’ll love Kym. She’s kind
of funny.”

“I
like funny.”

“You’ll like
Kym, then.”

It was times like this, when Ella got nervous about meeting someone new, that Anna was reminded of the changes the loss of her parents had caused. She had lost some of her confidence, the once overly friendly girl now reserved and pensive. The anxiety was new. Anna gnawed
her lip.

“Okay.” Ella kept her
eyes down.

“You
all right?”

She stared at the floor. “Yeah.” There was a quiver in
her voice.

“Come up
here, chicken.”

Ella shook her head, and Anna put her arm out along the couch, inviting her into the Toby cuddle. Slowly, Ella stood and wormed in, pressing tight to Anna’s side and tracing patterns over Toby’s dinosaur pyjamas. He was almost asleep and
didn’t notice.

“What’s wrong?”

She shrugged.

“You can talk
about anything.”

“When…” She drew in a shuddering breath. “When Mummy got ready before, I’d help her do her make-up. I helped her
that night.”

Anna swallowed. “Do you
miss that?”

“I miss lots
of things.”

“I know, Ella Bella.” Anna dropped a kiss on her head. “Want to help me with
my make-up?”

Ella thought for a minute.
“Next time?”

“Of course. Tonight you get
ice cream?”

Finally, a smile tugged at Ella’s lips. “Yeah. And
a DVD.”

“Just
one, right?”

Ella’s smile grew a little.
“Just one.”

“I know
Beauty and the Beast
came in a dual cover with
The Little Mermaid
, but that’s still
two movies.”

“But—”

Anna raised
her eyebrows.

Collapsing back against Anna, Ella sighed. “Fine. Can I watch it tomorrow?”

“When Tobes is having a sleep, how about we make some popcorn and watch
it together?”

“Okay.”

“And Ella, remember what I said—if you don’t want to be here with Kym tonight, you just have to tell me and instead, I’ll hang out here with
you, okay?”

“I know.”

She squirmed a little when Anna poked her. “I mean it. Or you just say you want banana for breakfast, and that will be
our code.”

“Okay. I remember.” Ella looked up at her with wide eyes. “So when is Nurse Lane
getting here?”

Anna stood up. “Soon. Kym will be here any minute. I’m going to put Toby down—wait for me, if the
doorbell goes.”

“I know,
Aunty Na.”

“So you should.” Anna poked her
tongue out.

“Night, Toby!”

Toby waved his hand at his sister, barely raising
his head.

They’d gone to the park before dinner, and he’d not stopped running for over an hour, chasing the ducks and generally causing chaos. The plan to tire him out had
apparently worked.

In the kitchen, she handed him a premade bottle. A sweet “Ta” left his mouth seconds before he shoved the bottle
into it.

“You’re welcome,”
Anna replied.

As they made their way up the stairs, Toby’s eyes were already closing. Anna stood with him next to his cot, patting his back as she rocked him, though she didn’t need to bother on his behalf. Toby was practically asleep. It was more for her to enjoy him when he was this still, his long eyelashes casting shadows on his cheeks. He was so very like Jake, but he had a perfectly straight little nose, the way Sally’s
had been.

The doorbell went, and she pressed a kiss to his head, putting him down gently. His blue blanket was tucked under his arm and Anna pulled his thicker covers over him.
“Night, Tobes.”

She walked down the stairs to see Ella hovering at the
front door.

“Here she is!” Ella practically yelled through the door, presumably in answer to whatever the person on the other side
had asked.

“Ella, inside voice. Toby
is asleep.”

“You said I couldn’t
open it.”

“True, I did.” Anna pulled open the door to find Kym, dressed comfortably in jeans and a hoody—with a bright pink ballerina skirt floating around her legs. Anna stared at her, wide eyed, a smirk working its way over her lips.
“Hey, Kym.”

Kym refused to acknowledge her smirk. “Hey.” She looked Anna up and down, eyes widening. “Nice dress, you’re
 
so
 
going to
get lai—”

Anna pushed the door open wider to remind Kym that Ella was
standing there.

“Lai—uh, lame. Your foot will go lame, if you wear high heels with that dress.”

Anna pressed her lips together tried not to smirk. The look on Kym’s face showed utter panic. “Kym, this is Ella. Ella, this
is Kym.”

“What’s lame?”

Kym cleared her throat somewhat lamely herself. “Uh, it means you can’t walk properly. If you hurt
your foot.”

Ella looked up at Anna worriedly. “Don’t
get lame.”

Anna laughed, resting her hand on Ella’s shoulder. “I won’t, Ella Bella.” She looked back at Kym. “Come on in, you’re in for a night of
Beauty and the Beast
and
ice cream.”

Kym’s eyes lit up. “
Beauty and
the Beast
?”

Ella eyed
her. “Yeah?”

“That’s my favourite
Disney movie!”

Anna felt relieved as Ella’s eyes widened.
“It is?”

“Yeah! I always wanted to have the library
Belle gets.”

“Me too!”

Ella grabbed Kym’s hand and dragged her into the living room. Anna heard Ella state approvingly, “I like your skirt. I have one
in purple.”

“I’m just going to finish getting ready!” Anna called through the door as she walked past it to
the stairs.

They both waved a hand at her in acknowledgement, Ella grabbing the DVD box and probably already telling Kym that they could watch two
movies tonight.

Anna made her way upstairs and put the finishing touches on her make-up. One bathroom, an adult, and two kids were not fun. She sighed and threw a yellow duck that had somehow made it onto the hand basin into the tub—where it belonged. At least the bathroom in her former life had always
been clean.

She hesitated as she walked past her brother and Sally’s room. There was a big, clean en suite bathroom in there that she wouldn’t have to share. But it was full of all of their things and too many memories, including the make-up that Sally had been using with Ella the night
they’d died.

With a deep breath, she walked past it, ignoring the decision she would have to make one day. Back in her room, she slipped on a pair of black heels before taking one last look in the mirror. She’d cleaned up all right. Anna adjusted the dress, slightly looser than she remembered from the last time she’d worn it. Stress and grief had apparently led to a little
weight loss.

The doorbell rang again. Anna’s heart beat a bit faster, and she sighed at herself. She grabbed her bag off the bed and went down the stairs. Poking her head into the living room, she saw Ella and Kym sitting in front of the TV on bean bags next to each other, bowls of ice cream already in their laps. Ella had clearly dug out her skirt and the lace puffed up around both
of them.

Shaking her head, Anna pulled open
the door.

Her breath caught in her chest and she almost fell over. Lane pulled off that dress like nothing she’d ever
seen before.

A grin crossed Lane’s face while her eyes flicked down Anna’s body and back
up. “Hey.”

“Hey, yourself. You, ah, you look amazing.” And she did, wrapped in a black dress that clung everywhere it should, hair half swept up one side, tight curls loose at the back and other side, make-up
perfect, minimalistic.

“You, too. You
look great.”

Anna ducked her
head. “Thanks.”

“Nurse Lane!” The yell came from the
living room.

At the shout, Lane looked almost scared. Anna shrugged apologetically. “She’s been excited since she found out you were
coming yesterday.”

Lane chuckled. “Good to know, because I’ve been excited
since Thursday.”

“Want to take Ella
out then?”

She shook her head. “I don’t even want to joke and say yes.” She was still smiling, but there was a look in her eye that made Anna grip the door a bit tighter. “Tonight, I just
want you.”

They stared at each other for a minute before Anna managed to answer. “Good—I don’t want to have to compete with
a six-year-old.”

“Nurse Lane!” The yell was much louder now, showing zero regard for a
sleeping sibling.

“You better come in before she wakes
up Toby.”

Lane stepped through the door, pausing for a minute, her shoulder brushing by Anna’s front. Her eyes darted to Anna’s mouth and back up again before she turned and walked down the hallway, following the yells into the
living room.

Anna blew out a slow breath and shut the door, then followed. She crossed her arms and leant against the doorframe as she saw Ella staring at Lane, who was squatting next to
the beanbag.