All The Little Moments (32 page)

Out of habit, Anna woke up early. For a moment, when she opened her eyes, she expected to see Ella bouncing on the end of the bed and asking
for breakfast.

Then the memory of last night hit her like a ton
of bricks.

Waking up with Lane for the second morning in a row should have been an enjoyable bonus to a wonderful night. But she couldn’t enjoy it. It wasn’t happening because they’d reached that point or because they’d had a conversation with Ella about it. They hadn’t gotten to talk about Lane staying, about knocking, about how the kids would always
come first.

Wanting to escape this feeling, Anna sighed and pulled Lane’s arm tighter around her. Had she been too selfish with her relationship? Prioritised wrong? Thought of herself when she should have been thinking of the kids more? Spent too much time
with Lane?

She rolled slightly, taking in the sight of Lane behind her, face soft with sleep, hair dark against the white of her pillow. Kissing her forehead, Anna slid out of bed, grabbed some clean clothes, and headed to the shower. Not wanting to see the toys in the other bathroom, she used her brother’s room. The room was chilly, and she showered and dressed quickly. A glance at her watch told her it was only six. Far too early to achieve anything productive except maybe a call to Hayley, which Anna found she didn’t have the energy for just yet. She needed coffee, and she needed to know the kids were okay. How was she supposed to wait until the
next day?

She padded down the stairs, a tug of guilt registering that she hadn’t even set Kym up with pillows or
a blanket.

As she got to the bottom of the stairs, an amazing scent hit her nostrils. She followed it to the kitchen, smiling at the sight of Kym cooking. The kitchen was clean except for the pan on
the stove.

Kym immediately handed her a cup of
coffee. “Sit.”

A plate of eggs and bacon appeared in front of Anna the second
she sat.

“Eat.”

Anna hesitated.

Spatula poking out ridiculously Kym narrowed her eyes. “Don’t try that look on me. You didn’t have
dinner. Eat.”

Anna picked up her fork, making exaggerated movements as she stabbed at a piece of scrambled egg and put it in her mouth,
chewing dramatically.

Satisfied that Anna was eating, Kym sat down with her
own plate.

On the first bite, Anna had realised she was starving, despite the nausea eating at her stomach. Kym didn’t even raise an eyebrow at how quickly she inhaled her meal, making Anna love her
even more.

“Did
you sleep?”

Anna shrugged.
“Kind of.”

“Have lots of sex to try and
distract yourself?”

Anna
paused mid-chew.

“You are
so predictable.”

Sipping her coffee, Anna wrapped around the warmed china. “Kym,” she stared at the mug, “I have to get those
kids back.”

“You will.”

“This is… How did
this happen?”

“People are assholes.” Kym reconsidered. “
Some
 
people are assholes. Can you call Hayley? Not that I think you should—she’s an asshole, too. But she may have
some insight.”

“She’s not an asshole. She made a choice. One I might have made in her position.” She paused.
“
Probably 
would
have made.”

“I’m your best friend. She broke up with you. I automatically get to think she’s an asshole.” Kym gazed at Anna over her cup. “It’s how
this works.”

A small nod was all she could manage. “Okay. I’ll call her, but it’s still early.” She picked up her cup but then suddenly slammed it back down. “This is
so
 
frustrating
.”

Kym blinked.

“It’s fucking Sunday. Getting hold of a lawyer is going to be impossible. I can’t even call the office to find out if they’re okay until tomorrow. It’s too early to even call Hayley. How the fuck am I supposed to
fix this?”

She looked at Kym,
eyes pleading.

Fingers grasped Anna’s arm as Kym leant over the table. “Give it a few hours. Lane will call her father as soon as she’s up, and we’ll have the name of an amazing lawyer. You can call Hayley, who may also know someone and will hopefully have some reassuring information. The second you wake up tomorrow, you can start calling child protective services constantly until they answer.” She squeezed Anna’s arm. “I know this isn’t going to help much, but they will be okay. Lorna said they were a nice older couple. The kids will
be fine.”

At Anna’s curt nod, Kym leant back in her chair. In companionable silence, they sipped at their
cooling coffee.

Anna sat up straighter when she heard Lane coming down the stairs and gave a tight smile as she walked into
the room.

After receiving breakfast from Kym with a grateful nod, Lane said, “I just spoke to
my father.”

“It’s
so early.”

“He’s a big boy; he coped. He’s going to contact his scarily large group of friends and get
some names.”

Gratefully, Anna touched Lane’s knee under the table.
“Thank you.”

“Anything I can do
to help.”

In a slightly more polite manner than Anna had, Lane tucked in to her food. “Thanks, Kym. Starving.” None of them sure what to say, so they sat silently. Distractedly, Anna picked at her fingernail, anxiety building in her stomach. As Lane finished, her phone rang, and she grabbed it out of
her pocket.

“Hey, Daddy.” She made eye contact with Anna before standing and wandering out of the room,
listening intently.

Kym looked at Anna. “Step one. Things
are happening.”

Anna wrapped her hands around her coffee mug, on edge
and frustrated.

A few minutes later, Lane walked back in holding
her phone.

“All okay?”
Anna asked.

“He gave me a name, Scott Matthews. Apparently a renowned family law attorney in Melbourne. I’ll have his contact details. Dad’s going to text them to me.” She cleared her throat slightly. “He’s also well known for working gay and
lesbian cases.”

Kym raised her coffee
cup. “Awesome.”

“Well, Dad did always like being a superhero.” Lane slid her phone across to Anna, a text with a contact number for Scott Matthews on display. “He said he’s contactable on Sundays
from nine.”

The clock showed it was
only eight.

From across the table, Kym stood up. “Anna, I’m really sorry but I need to be at work in
an hour.”

“Stop looking guilty. We all know you take every on call you can. Go help sad people. I think I’m going to be on the phone most of the day.” Horror swept through her. “God, I need to tell Mum, too. I’ll have to go
over there.”

“Will you text me, with any news? Or if I can
do anything?”

Anna nodded.

“I mean it, anything at all. Even if it’s just to bring over bottles of wine tonight.”

“I will.
I promise.”

Standing up, Kym headed for
the door.

“And Kym?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.”

She smiled at Anna. “There’s no way in hell any of us are going to let them take those kids for
good, Anna.”

When she heard the front door close, Anna turned to Lane. “Are you okay with me
calling Hayley?”

“Don’t be silly. Sorry if you felt the hand twitch last night. Automatic reaction.” Lane looked at her intently. “Are you okay with
calling her?”

“Probably not, normally. She called ages ago, not long after we ended, to ‘check-up.’ I asked her to leave me alone, which she respected. But right now, she’s the only one who might have some answers and I can’t sit here all morning
just waiting.”

“I’m supposed to work this morning, too. I was thinking I’d call
in sick?”

“As much as I really would like that, didn’t you say there’s heaps of nurses on holiday
this week?”

Lane’s face fell.
“Oh, yeah.”

“The emergency co-ordinator would skin
you alive.”

“He’ll probably do that anyway. He’s that
grumpy lately.”

“Probably.”

Lane kissed Anna on the cheek before resting their foreheads together. She
stood up.

“Don’t shut down on me, Anna.” The whisper against her skin was so faint she almost
missed it.

“What?”

Eyes dark, intense, Lane stared at her. “I can see it. You did it last night and you’ve not completely come back. Which is fine, if that’s what you need to do. This situation is just, painful. But I’m
here, okay?”

“I know.” She looked up at Lane, taking her in. “I’m sorry. It’s something
I do.”

“I get it. Just, talk to me. Don’t
disappear completely.”

“I won’t.” She raised her hand up, taking a fistful of Lane’s shirt and tugging her down, kissing her softly. When she pulled back, Anna said, “Thank you. For being
so amazing.”

“Call me, okay? If you need anything? I’ll be able to get away, if I
need to.”

“I will.”

Obviously not wanting to go, Lane hovered, half-bent over the table where she’d leant to
kiss Anna.

With a tight smile, Anna gave her a gentle push. “Go, or we’ll sit here all day not wanting you
to leave.”

At the doorway, she paused. “Seriously—call. I’ll come
straight away.”

“I will.”

A moment later, the sound of the front door closing left Anna alone in the
silent house.

She sat at the table, food sitting solidly in
her stomach.

It was eight a.m. on a Sunday. Normally, they’d be planning something. Ella would be asking for things she wanted to do: the cinema, the zoo, the park, the pool. She’d be full of energy, ideas, kinetic and endearing. Toby would be clambering onto Anna’s lap while she desperately tried to drink a coffee, his face covered in peanut butter. He’d press his sticky hands to her cheeks, kneeling on her legs and grinning
at her.

“Na,” he’d say, absolutely delighted that she was there, as she was every morning. He’d press a sloppy kiss to her cheeks, and she’d laugh, tickling him, to make his giggles
come out.

Then, cartoons might be on, if Ella had managed to wear her down, or they’d put music on, classics her brother had loved that Anna, in the last few weeks, had started to pull out
and play.

Anna had wanted to start telling Ella stories, soon. Not yet, but soon: stories of Jake and her when they’d been kids, brother and sister. About how Jake had hated tomato like Ella and how he could build a fort out of anything. She wanted to tell Ella how Sally had once said that Jasmine was her favourite princess too, and that she’d eat a tomato like
an apple.

They’d started to move towards these things, and Anna was so angry the kids weren’t there right now, chattering and loud and happily ruining what could be a peaceful
Sunday morning.

The struggle to bring security to their lives had been difficult but worth it. How would they, Ella especially, feel secure again after this, even if Anna managed to get them back? With the memory that someone could turn up at night and take them away planted in
her head?

Would this have happened if Cathy hadn’t found out she was gay? If she wasn’t in a relationship, would Cathy still have complained to child services? What complaints of neglect had she put forward, and how had it led to such a
dramatic outcome?

The clock ticked loudly in the otherwise silent house. Anna needed to do something. She went upstairs and grabbed her phone, scrolling through her contacts until she found Hayley’s name and hit
call
. Hearing Hayley on the voicemail after so long barely registered. At the beep, she left
a message.

“Hayley, it’s me, Anna. I’m sorry to call, I just need your help. Or to ask you some stuff. The kids got taken away from me last night and put into foster care. Sally’s crazy mother has told protective services I’m neglecting them.” Anna paused, anger making her voice shake. “I just need to know where I stand. I need them back. Can you call me, if you have a
chance? Thanks.”

She sat on the edge of the bed, at a
complete loss.

She needed to tell
her mother.

Maybe, if they wouldn’t let Anna see the kids tomorrow, they might let Sandra. There was no reason they wouldn’t at least let that happen. Anna, while seething with anger, knew that Lorna had to follow protocol. But she also knew that the system always tried to work in favour of the kids. People got supervised visits who maybe shouldn’t even be allowed them. Surely Anna would get that, or at least her mother could. Kids needed their family,
something familiar.

Nodding to herself, she took a deep breath and stood up. She’d go to
her mother’s.

Her phone beeped and she looked down. Lane had forwarded the lawyer’s contact details, with possibly twenty
x
’s at the end. She sent an
x
back with a thank-you, walked down the stairs, grabbed her bag and keys, and got in
the car.