Always Know What to Say - Easy Ways to Approach and Talk to Anyone (3 page)

It is said that first impressions are lasting impressions, so what to say when introducing yourself to someone can be critically important. You want to come across as friendly, yet not excessively so; talkative, yet not dominate the conversation.

Here are some ways to find a balance and introduce yourself in a way that gives a good first impression:

1. Mention a mutual friend

When you are in the situation where you want to meet someone but you're unsure about how to break the ice, ask yourself if the two of you have a friend in common.

Even if that person is not there, you can walk up to the person and say, "Don't you know so-and-so?" When they say yes, you can then use that as a springboard to introducing yourself to them.

2. Dive right in

On the other hand, if you see someone at a place (bar, social gathering, church meeting), and you do not know them at all, the direct approach can be the best. You just walk right up to the person and say, "How do you do? My name is (fill in the blank)" After that, you can then launch into what it is you want to talk to them about.

3. The business deal

If you are looking to talk to the person about a business matter, the key is to get to the point; you're not going to win points by engaging in chitchat. Step up to the person, offer them your hand for a firm handshake, and say, "Good day, Mr/Ms (blank); my name is (blank). Could I speak to you for a moment?"

4. The flirt

When it comes to chasing a man or woman in a social setting for the purposes of a date, you want to be fun and flirty, but not lame.

In years gone past something like, "Hey, baby, what's your (astrological) sign?" was the height of cool. A much better approach these days is the compliment. Or, if you're in a museum or at a party or some other social setting, compliment something in the room.

In the case of the former, something like, "You have such lovely eyes." Or if the person is very professional, "That is a sharp suit; where'd you get it?" would go down well. You can also always offer to buy them a drink.

With the latter situations, you could point out a very interesting piece of artwork in the room or some other pleasant feature and say, "That piece of art is lovely; what do you think?"

In a place like a bookstore, asking someone their opinion about a new book can also be a good way of introducing yourself to them: "I hear the new (blank) just came out. Have you read it?"

5. Reminding them

If you've met someone in the past, but they don't remember you, the subtle reminder is what to say when introducing yourself to someone.

You could say, "I know you; we met at (fill in the blank)." If they don't remember you, you simply tell them your name and mention details of your previous interaction.

6. Asking for directions

This can be most helpful when you want to meet someone in a totally generic location.

You see a man or woman in a diner, outside a store, on the street, and so on. With no hint as to their personality, stepping up to them and saying, "Excuse me, do you know where (blank) is?" can be a good icebreaker.

Next time you're meeting someone for the first time, it can be an easy process. The key to knowing what to say when introducing yourself to someone is gauging the situation, and making use of these simple tips.

Have you ever been faced with that tongue tied feeling of hopelessness? You most certainly are not alone. Nearly everyone will have at some time become stuck for words.

How can you stop this from happening? Simply follow the easy steps below. You`ll gain confidence and ensure you always know what to say.

Here are some great tips to stop that tongue tied feeling and loss of conversational skills:

1. Finish previous topics of conversation

That tongue tied feeling, more often than not can come from having a brain full of ideas, and not finishing previous topics of conversation. Make sure that you finish each and every conversation on your agenda.

Don't leave it till your brain is a factory of unfinished topics of talk. This really doesn't help you in making good conversation.

2. Observe before talking

Some of the best conversation makers are successful because they have the ability to listen, and not just to be listened to! So if you are feeling tongue tied and there's a knot at the tip of your tongue trapping the words, sit back and watch how other people are talking!

It's a short study period and will help you considerably in your method of approaching a conversation. Once you can see what people enjoy talking about its easy to rejoin the conversation.

3. If it doesn't make sense then don't say it!

Half the time you get tongue tied, this feeling comes as you are talking nonsense that really is not relevant to anyone!

Make sure that the words are necessary and that the topic needs to be addressed. Just by following this simple method of untying your tongue you will maintain an audience of listeners.

4. Ignore those whose ears don't tune in!

If their ears don't listen then don't be disheartened. The same way that you are struggling to be heard, there are people that struggle in the listening process! If your words are falling on deaf ears you can't help it. Some people really are limited in thought and you can't draw their attention span with your words.

5. Practice before you speak

Start putting in to practice the words that are in your head; perhaps you could ask a family member to sit down and listen to you before you decide to go public with the conversation.

By doing this you will have had a test run period, this will be a practice for the real thing (a stage rehearsal) helping you to focus and more importantly be focused on.

6. Before talking take a deep breath

A small change such as taking a deep breath of fresh air before talking will help you to maintain focus and remain head strong on the topic of attention.

Half the time when you start to go off road in your thoughts and the speech starts to become difficult to come out, this is a result of not being relaxed. This process of breathing in helps you to feel more relaxed, enabling you to remain focused.

Being tongue tied and losing your words in conversation really is a result of carelessness. If you can stick to the above tips and methods of untying your tongue then you can help to make sure that you don't get lost for words!

Try to remember that thinking about being lost for words can lead you to the reality of being lost for words. Everyone gets tongue tied, and you really can't have lived much without having that tongue tied feeling occasionally.

Stay confident, be calm and don't let nervous thoughts fill your brain just focus on yourself and the words that you need to express!

Don't panic! You can be interesting. Interesting topics of conversation needn't be difficult to think of. Consider this: what makes a topic interesting? Isn't it that people like to talk about it and that they have opinions on it?

Once you realize that, you'll see that interesting topics of conversation come from everyday life and things that we all have in common. Then you'll realize it's not so difficult to think of them.

Don't think you have to be controversial and go for risky topics like politics and religion; you don't. In fact, to do so would be a mistake.

Whatever topic you choose should make people relaxed and happy to talk; controversial subjects don't allow that. Think instead about what all people share: families, hopes, dreams, experiences etc.

Here are a few interesting topics of conversation to get you started:

1. Who is the most interesting person you ever met?

You can see how this would easily lead people to voice opinions and ask 'why?'.

2. Where in the world would you most like to visit?

This dream location may be shared by others and so it makes people feel solidarity, but also, people will be itching to ask 'why?' and keep the conversation flowing.

3. What has been the most life-changing experience you've ever had?

Here, people can share funny and touching stories if they want to, which will help you get a deeper understanding of them. Likewise, if people don't feel relaxed enough to give a heartfelt reply they can answer in an entertaining way and it all adds to the conversation.

4. What is the most spontaneous thing you've ever done?

That opens the door to all sorts of humorous and romantic stories.

5. Who's had the biggest influence on your life?

Because this person has influenced the person you're asking, they must view them positively and have strong feelings about them. That means they're likely to enjoy talking about them.

6. What dream would you most like to make a reality?

This kind of inspirational question always gets people talking and everyone's usually happy to chip in with comments about people's hopes and wishes. Just be careful when commenting that you don't rain on their parade. It's their right to have whatever hopes they want.

7. What is the best quality you've inherited from either of your parents?

This is particularly interesting at a family gathering when people know the parents you're talking about. It's also a bit of a bonding experience, speaking favorably about your parents.

8. From which person have you learned most in your life?

This is another uplifting, positive topic of conversation that usually gets people talking.

9. Which historical figures do you most identify with?

This lets you know something about the other people around you; it also opens up discussion of the events these historical figures were involved in. Yes, potentially it takes you into dangerous waters of politics and religion but people usually take this question in the spirit of fun in which it's meant, so potentially awkward moments are easily averted.

10. What kind of music do you like?

You could then go on to talk of music you've bought or gigs you've been too. You might even ask: 'what's the most embarrassing album in your collection?' That's usually met with all-round hilarity!

These ideas should show you that interesting topics of conversation don't need to be complex or intellectual, in fact, the more ordinary the better, because then people feel qualified to talk about the topic.