Arousing Love, a teen novel (15 page)

Seven

I awoke early and lay there thinking about
our date tonight.
I could take her to a performance—I think
there’s a string quartet playing somewhere, she’d probably like
that. Or we could do something fun, like mini golf.

My alarm went off, and I pulled myself out of
bed. Another day of work lay ahead of me and I was already
tired.

Just before 11am, Joanna came into the store.
I was busy with another customer and didn’t notice her until she
came to the counter with a soda and candy bar.

“Hi! What are you doing here?” She instantly
elevated me from boredom to delight, I was so happy to see her
beautiful, smiling face.

“I was in the neighborhood.” She beamed.
“How’s work?”

“Boring. How’s your day going?”

“Same. I miss you.”

Another customer was waiting to be served,
and Joanna moved out of his way. After he’d left, she glanced
around. There was no one else in the store.

“I wanted to tell you about the promise
rings. I didn’t wanna give it to you in front of my parents like
that. I wanted it to be special.”

“Yeah, I kinda guessed that. It was a good
cover story though.”

“I wanted us to exchange rings and make
promises to each other, like a little ceremony.”

I could tell this meant a lot to her. “We can
still do that if you want. We’ll take them off and give them to
each other again.”

“Okay.” She smiled.

“We can do it on our date tonight.”

Her smile faded. “I’m not so sure it’s likely
we’re still going on our date.”

“Why?”

“Well
. . .
after you left last night, I had a talk with my mom and I said some
dumb things to her.”

“Like what?”

“I asked her what would be so bad about two
people having sex if they were totally committed to each other and
totally loved each other and knew having sex made them married in
God’s eyes. She kinda freaked about it, ‘cause she knew I meant you
and me.”

“What did she say?”

She mimicked her mom’s voice—“You have to be
mature enough to make that kind of commitment and be able to keep
it. Bla bla bla. She told me I’m not mature enough to really know
myself, and I don’t know you well enough either. Stuff like
that.”

“Hmm.”

“But I still don’t see why it’s so wrong if
you know for sure you’re meant for each other, and you both love
God and know you’re becoming married in his eyes. She thinks we’re
too young, but it’s not like older people are any better, they get
divorced all the time. They have all these reasons young people
should wait, as if waiting makes so much difference.”

“Did you say that to her?”

“Kind of.”

“No wonder she freaked out.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“I kind of agree with your mom. Not saying
you’re not mature enough to make that commitment, but you’re still
fifteen and that’s pretty young to decide something like that.” I
could tell what I said wasn’t going over too well with Joanna, she
was kind of glaring at me. “I’m not saying I doubt your commitment
to me. I know you mean it, and I believe in your love. But we have
to make everyone happy, not just us. I don’t want you to disobey
your parents. I felt guilty about it last night.”

Her eyes dropped. “I know.” She looked up
again. “But you don’t need to be mature to make the right decision
if God shows you you’re meant for each other.”

“You have to be mature enough to cope with
marriage though. It’s hard, just look how many people get
divorced.”

“That won’t happen to us. We love each other
too much and our commitment is stronger because we believe in God
and know we can’t separate what God has joined together. I think
it’s better to get married when you’re still young and your love is
strong, rather than waiting ‘til your passion dies and you’re more
controlled and sensible and mature and dull and boring and
old.”

I grinned. She tried not to smile, but she
couldn’t help it, and a grin broke across her face too. My dad came
into the store and saw us standing there grinning at each other. He
shook his head and started walking away.

“Hey Dad, do you think I could take my break
now?”

“Ahhh guess so.” My dad half smiled. “Go on
then.”

My dad was being so nice lately.
He must
be getting soft in his old age.

I smiled at Joanna. “Come on, let’s get outta
here.”

We went outside, and I took a breath of fresh
air, “Ahh, momentary freedom. I’ll show you my self portrait if you
want. I worked on it last night, but it’s not quite finished
yet.”

“Okay.”

We went to the shack, and I showed her the
painting still on its easel.

“What do you think?”

She studied the painting. “It’s really good.”
She looked at me, then looked at the painting again. “It’s
definitely you.” She sighed happily. She tilted her head sideways
looking at the heart with our names written in the sand. “Ohhh, I
love it. Thank you.” She beamed at me.

“I need to fix up the waves still.”

“It doesn’t need it. It looks perfect like
this.”

I looked at it again. “I guess—”

“So it’s finished?”

The background looked a little vague, but I
guess it was impressionistic. “Okay. I’ll sign it, then you can
have it when it’s dry.”

“How long does that take?”

“It should be touch dry by tomorrow.”

“Well sign it now then, and don’t do any more
to it or it won’t be dry in time before I leave.”

I hated the reminder she was leaving that
soon. We only had two days left. She was right, I shouldn’t touch
it anymore, sometimes I’m too much of a perfectionist. I grabbed a
fine tipped brush, dipped it in some paint I had left over on my
palette, and signed my name on the bottom right corner.

“What does the ‘A’ stand for?”

“That’s my middle initial.”

“Yeah, what is it?”

“Something that starts with A.”

“You’re not gonna tell me?”

I grinned at her. “Well, what’s your middle
name? Actually I already know it.”

“What is it then?”

“Joanna Banana of course.”

She laughed. “I’ll tell you mine for real if
you tell me yours.”

“Alright, what is it?”

“Rebecca.”

“That’s nice.”

“What’s yours?”

“I can’t tell you, it’s too
embarrassing.”

“Tell me, or I’ll go ask your dad.”

“Hah
. . .
”

She started heading for the door.

“No, okay, it’s Albert.”

Joanna tried not to laugh. “Are you
joking?”

“Nope.” I laughed. “Named after Albert
Einstein. My parents had high expectations.”

She laughed. “It’s so cute. I’m gonna call
you Zach Albert from now on.”

“That’s so funny.” I grabbed her around the
middle and starting tickling her. She squealed, falling back on the
bed, and I pinned her down. “You gonna call me Albert?”

“Yes.” She giggled.

I tickled her some more, enjoying her
laughter and the feel of her squirming beneath me.

“Okay.” She gasped. “I won’t call you
Albert.”

“Promise?”

“I Promise.”

I eased off her and she grinned up at me. I
bent down and kissed her lips, and she immediately returned my
kiss. I knew where this was heading. My body was already aching for
her. I pulled myself off her and got up.

She remained there on the bed. “Zach
. . .
in my heart I’m already
yours. You know that, right?”

I just looked at her. I wanted her so much.
I wish she wouldn’t keep doing this to me.

“I know we’re meant for each other. I know it
so strongly it’s like it’s already real to me, like you’re already
my husband. It’s like I’ve always known it, but now I know it with
all my heart.”

“You’re too intense for me, Joanna.”

She looked at me with those big, innocent
eyes. She was too beautiful.

I sighed. “I just wish we could hang out like
we used to, and have fun without worrying about all this
stuff.”

“I’m leaving on Saturday.”

“I know.”

There was a long drawn-out silence, neither
of us saying anything, we just looked at each other.

God, I want her so bad. I can’t keep doing
this—I repent and just get tempted all over again, and I’m not
strong enough. You’ve gotta help me. Should we just have sex? Is it
wrong if we truly love each other? I know she’s too young, but we
can’t wait—

“Hey, is that my portrait?” Joanna
interrupted my silent prayer. “You never showed it to me after you
finished it.”

“Oh yeah.” I smiled, glad for something to
talk about other than sex.

Her nude portrait was leaning face up against
the wall. She turned it around and looked at it. She read
aloud
—
“‘Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires’.
Hey, that’s really deep. What does it mean? Wait ‘til you’re ready
for love?”

“It’s from the Bible. I guess it means don’t
do anything to make it happen before the right time.” The meaning
came as a sudden revelation. It was exactly our situation.

She frowned. “Is that what I’ve been
doing?”

“I think we both have.” It was still dawning
on me—
God must’ve spoken it to me that first time.

She looked down. “I’m sorry, Zach. I didn’t
mean to pressure you or anything.”

“I know. I love you Joanna, I want the same
things you do. We just have to be patient and trust God. Everything
will work out, there’ll be a right time for us.”

She nodded. “I should go. I’ll see you
tonight?”

“Yeah.”

The rest of the day went by slowly. I thought
about what Joanna had said to her mom—
she basically told her she
wants to have sex with me.
That’s gonna make things
interesting. Maybe they won’t let us be alone together anymore, but
maybe that’s a good thing—it’s been too intense lately.

I finished up at 5 o’clock, and got ready for
our possible date. I borrowed my mom’s car again, and drove to the
campground, parking behind their car. Joanna and her parents were
sitting there talking, and Joanna didn’t look like she was ready
for a date. I got out of the car.

“Zach, come and join us. We’re discussing
something that involves you.” Joanna’s mother called.

Joanna gave me a strange look that warned me
something was up. I sat down in the empty chair next to her, and
they all just looked at me.

Joanna’s mother spoke first. “We’ve become
increasingly concerned with how serious this relationship has
become in such a short amount of time. We’re worried that your
strong feelings for each other are leading you to contemplate a
physical union.”

“Huh?”

“We’re worried you might be thinking of
getting married physically.” Joanna’s father restated it for me. He
kept his eyes on me, waiting for an answer.

Everything seemed so serious and formal, like
a court case.

“Well, we have thought about it, and talked
about when we’d be ready for that, but we both want to do what’s
right, and I’m willing to wait until we’re both ready.”

“So you don’t think you’re both ready for
that right now?” Her father asked.

Joanna looked like she was holding her
breath.

“No, I don’t think so.”

“I’m glad to hear that, Zach. At least one of
you is showing some sense and maturity.” Joanna’s mother turned to
her daughter. “When you’re your age, you’re impatient to experience
life, and you think you’re ready for everything. But you’re not
ready for this yet.”

“How are you supposed to know when you’re
ready?” Joanna asked.

“Well, that’s a good question.” Joanna’s
father spoke with his usual calm deliberation. “The Bible says a
man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and
the two will become one flesh. So when you’re ready to leave your
parents and be able to support yourself and take on all the
responsibilities of life, then you’re ready to get married.”

“Why does God give us these desires and then
make us wait years for it? He’s made it so hard for us. We’re given
all this responsibility for our feelings and desires but we aren’t
responsible enough to get married. How are we supposed to wait so
long?”

“I don’t know why God does things the way he
does, but part of growing up is learning how to cope with your
emotions and the intense feelings you have. It is a testing time
for you, and if you learn self control you’ll gain maturity. I’m
sorry I told you that sex makes two people one flesh and married in
God’s eyes. I think if I hadn’t told you that you wouldn’t even be
thinking about marriage, you’d be content to wait until you were
older.”

“We probably would’ve had sex by now if you
hadn’t
. . .
” Joanna’s voice
trailed off as her mother looked aghast.

“Is that true, Zach?” Joanna’s father looked
at me.

“Uh
. . .
”
My mind searched for the right answer. “Well
. . .
I think it made us wanna wait, and
treat it more seriously because we knew what a big commitment it
was, and we might have treated it less seriously if we’d just
thought it was something we weren’t supposed to do but didn’t know
why, or what it meant. But I think it was God that kept us from
going too far—”

“Too far?” Joanna’s mother fixed her eyes on
me. “How far did you go?”

I was shocked at the question. I just sat
there, not daring to say anything.

“How far, Joanna?” Her mother now turned her
interrogating eyes on her miserable daughter. I had to say
something.

“We let our passions get the better of us at
times, but we’ve repented of that—”

“What did you do? I want to know. Did you
touch her?”

Joanna’s father came to the rescue. “There’s
no need to embarrass them, I think we can guess the kind of things
they’ve been up to. I shouldn’t have trusted you alone together.
It’s our fault as much as yours. I’m just glad you respected my
daughter enough not to go any further than you did.”