aterovis_bleedinghearts.pm6 (12 page)

Mom noticed, of course.

“You’re gonna be fine, Killian,” she encouraged me.

“I know I’m just your mom and my opinion doesn’t really count, but I think your new look is super. You look very cute. The girls will be all over you.” She paused for a moment and then added, “Too bad you won’t be interested.”

I stared at her in surprise for a second, my mouth hanging open in shock, and then she burst into laughter. I realized she was making a joke, and I joined her in the laughter.

“You should have seen your face,” she gasped as we pulled into the school drop-off point.

I grabbed my backpack and then impulsively leaned over and kissed her on the cheek.

“Thanks, Mom,” I said, “Thanks for everything.”

As I jumped out of the car I saw tears forming in her eyes. “I love you,” she called, “Have a great day!” She 100

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pulled away as I turned and faced the school.

I let out a little sigh and started for the main doors. I had to check in at the office since I was late. They were all overly nice to me, telling me not to worry about being late and writing me passes and essentially telling me I could have come in 5 minutes before the final bell and it would have been hunky dory with them. I guess that’s one of the benefits of being stabbed and having it splashed all over the newspapers.

At my school, we have 4-period days, meaning that each period is much longer than with the traditional 7-period days. I came in right at the end of my second period. The rest of the day went fairly smoothly, with everyone going out of their way to be nice to me.

Frankly, it was getting annoying. I’d rather have just been ignored as always.

After final bell I looked for Asher. My newfound confidence was back, and I was ready to make an attempt at least to patch things up. I wanted to ask him to forgive me and see if we couldn’t work things out. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find him anywhere.

Adam was supposed to pick me up, since Mom had dropped me off, so I was waiting outside when Zack and Jesse approached me.

“Killian,” Zack said as they took up positions on either side of me.

“Hi, Zack. Hi, Jesse,” I said nervously.

“I think we need to talk,” Zack continued.

“Yeah? What about?”

“I think you know,” he countered.

“Maybe, but I’d rather you said,” I told him cautiously.

“Stop playing games, Killian,” The ever-helpful Jesse chipped in.

“I’m not playing games. You guys are the ones that haven’t so much as spoken to me in weeks. I’ve been in 101

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the hospital and then stuck at home.”

“Well, you’re not at home anymore, are you?” Zack said.

“No, I’m not, but what’s that got to do with anything?”

“It has everything to do with everything,” Zack explained patiently. “Look, we’re not dumb. You start hanging out with Seth, you ditch us, you’re in the park at night with Seth, you get kicked out of your house, and now you’re back with a whole new look. You’re gay aren’t you?”

I figured it was coming but somehow it still caught me off guard. I wasn’t ready to come out to the whole school yet, and telling Zack and Jesse would be the equivalent of just that. But what could I say that they would believe? I thought frantically for a few seconds, then decided that the truth was always the best way to go...or in this case, part of the truth.

“Look, Seth and I were just friends. We were meeting in the park to talk, I swear. And my dad kicked me out because I went to his funeral. You know how my dad is.”

They stared at me for a minute in silence, then Zack pushed off away from the building.

“Okay, Killian,” he said finally, “I’ll buy that for now, but we’ll be watching you. I just hope that now that the fag’s gone you can get back to normal.”

I was suddenly so furious that my sight actually blurred. I’ve always heard the saying ‘seeing red’ but now I knew what it meant. It took all I was to remain outwardly calm and quiet as they walked away.

I was still trying to calm my pounding heart when Adam pulled up. I jumped in the car and slumped down in my seat.

“What’s wrong?” Adam asked.

“Nothing,” I said, “Just stupid people.”

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“No shortage of those,” he agreed, “Anything in particular or just your everyday, average, run-of-the-mill stupidity?”

“Zack and Jesse just make me so mad. I don’t really wanna talk about it.”

“No problem. If you change your mind, I’m here for you.”

“Thanks, Adam,” I said sincerely, “When I get back to your house I’m gonna take my car and go talk to Asher. We need to talk about what happened.”

“Okay, he might be ready by now, but don’t push it.

If he doesn’t want to talk, let it go again for now.”

I drove over to Asher’s house and knocked on the door. His mom answered. She was a slightly plump lady with short curly brown hair almost just like Asher’s.

She always seemed to be in a good mood. I loved hanging out at Asher’s house just so I could be around her.

Her first name is Deb and she’s always telling me to call her that, but for some reason I’ve always called her Mrs. Davis. She was wearing jeans and a fuzzy purple sweater.

“Killian,” she said, sounding surprised, “I haven’t seen you in ages. How are you doing?”

“I’m fine,” I said, “Is Asher home?”

“No, he went out with Zack and Jesse.”

“Oh, okay, well...can you tell him I came by to talk to him,” I paused for a moment, then added, “Tell him I said I’m sorry.”

“I’ll do that, Killian,” she said, “And you take care of yourself, okay?”

“Yes, Mrs. Davis. I’ll try.”

Tuesday and Wednesday were pretty much repeats of Monday except I drove so there were no more awkward conversations with Zack and Jesse. Asher was either still avoiding me or he’d dropped off the face of the earth, but since I hadn’t heard any rumors of his 103

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sudden disappearance I could only assume the former.

I was a little hurt that he wouldn’t even talk to me, but Adam kept saying that he would come around eventually, to just give him time. I wondered how much time it would take. I really missed him.

I was distracted the whole last period of school on Wednesday because I knew Kane was calling that night.

I couldn’t wait to see the look on Adam’s face. I drove straight to Adam’s house and walked in to find Steve cooking at the stove in the kitchen. I smelled spaghetti sauce.

“Hey there, kiddo,” he called out when I came in, then he caught sight of me, “Whoa, new look! I like!”

“Hi, Steve. Thanks,” I said, “Smells good. I didn’t know you were coming over tonight.”

“It was one of those last-minute kind of things,” he told me, “I know today is Kane’s birthday and it’s always really hard on Adam, so I thought I’d come over and cook dinner for you guys and offer a little moral support.”

“Well, I have a surprise that ought to cheer him up,”

I said with a huge grin.

“Oh yeah? And what’s that?”

“If I told you then it wouldn’t be a surprise, now, would it,” I teased.

“What wouldn’t be a surprise?” Adam asked walking into the kitchen.

“Ah ah ah,” Steve called over his shoulder as he dumped the spaghetti noodles into the boiling water,

“If I can’t know then neither can you.”

Adam walked over and slipped his arms around Steve’s waist and kissed him on the back of the neck.

“Hey, don’t distract the cook,” Steve laughed, “And if you’re trying to get the secret out of me, it won’t work because I don’t know it.”

Adam let his arms slip out from around Steve and he 104

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picked up a spaghetti strainer and advanced on me.

“Tell me the secret or I’ll strain you,” he said menacingly.

I burst out laughing and Steve and Adam quickly joined in. It was quite a festive atmosphere in the Connelly kitchen, and I felt totally relaxed and happy for the first time in just about as long as I could remember. I sat at the kitchen table under the warm yellow light from the overhead lamp while I did my homework.

Steve and Adam puttered happily around me as they finished preparing the dinner. At some point someone put on a Santana CD and the sounds of guitar mixed with the pungent smell of garlic and oregano, filling the house. I was home.

We had just settled around the table to eat when the doorbell rang.

“Who could that be?” Adam wondered.

“I’ll get it,” I offered, jumping up before anyone else could.

I opened to the door and almost passed out. It was Kane!

“Kane?” I hissed, “Oh my gosh...I thought you were gonna call. How’d you get here?”

“You must be Killian,” he whispered and with a shy smile offered his hand.

I nodded as I shook it. I couldn’t believe he was here.

He stood there in black baggy shorts (even though it was very chilly outside) and an oversized gray sweatshirt with a red T-shirt peeking out around the collar. He looked like a lost little boy. He was even shorter than I was, maybe about 5’6" or so. His hair was a beautiful reddish-brown color that shone in the porch light. He was absolutely beautiful.

“Um...is my dad here?” he asked me after a few seconds.

I realized I was staring and quickly looked down.

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“Um, uh, yeah,” I stuttered, “He’s, uh, in the kitchen.”

I stepped back to allow him in, and as he stepped by I noticed he had a backpack slung over his shoulder and he was carrying a skateboard by the front axle.

“Who is it, Killian?” Adam called from the kitchen.

Kane’s eyes lit up at the sound of his father’s voice.

“Just a sec,” I called back, then spun back to Kane.

“How did you get here? Are you staying?” I was trying to keep my voice down but it kept climbing up.

“I caught a bus and then a taxi,” he explained, trying to match my low tones. His eyes kept sliding down the hallway towards the kitchen doorway. “I don’t know what I’m doing. Mom’ll flip when she finds out I’m not really at Chad’s house. But I don’t care. I just had to see Dad.”

“Well, hold on a second,” I told him. “I’ll go in and set it up. Oh man, this is so much better than just a phone call.”

Kane giggled nervously and I shushed him. I motioned him to follow me as far as the kitchen door. He stayed just out of sight as I walked on in.

“Who was it?” Adam asked. He and Steve had started eating already.

“Well, remember that surprise I mentioned earlier?”

Steve and Adam both looked up curiously now.

“Yeah?” Adam said.

“Well, it didn’t turn out quite how I expected, but I’m pretty sure you’ll like this even better.”

“Like what, Killian?” Adam asked me, “Whatever it is I’m sure I’ll love it.”

I took a deep breath and motioned to Kane. He stepped slowly in the light of the kitchen.

For a few moments you could have heard the pro-verbial pin drop. Then suddenly Adam leaped up from the table with a clatter of discarded silverware and ran towards Kane, lifting him up off his feet in a huge bear 106

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hug.

They spun around silently for a few moments before Adam set him down gently on his feet. When he pulled back there were tears running down his cheeks.

He cupped Kane’s face in his hands, “Kane! How did you get here? Does your mother know you’re here?”

“I caught a bus and no, she doesn’t know yet,” Kane answered. He sounded just as emotional as Adam.

Adam pulled him in for another hug and turned to me.“This was your doing?” he asked me.

“Sort of,” I admitted, “but I just thought he was gonna call.”

“Well, thank you,” he said as he reached out and drew me in the hug as well, “Thank you from the bottom of my heart.”

Steve cleared his throat and our little huddle broke up.“I think some phone calls might be in order,” he suggested gently. Steve seemed to be the voice of reason around here.

“Yes,” Adam agreed, “We need to call your mother.

But first let’s eat, before the food gets cold. And oh...how could I forget? Let’s sing “Happy Birthday” to Kane!”

After singing a rousing chorus of “Happy Birthday”, we set another place at the table and once again settled down to eat. There was a lot of excited conversation and explanations, how I’d found Kane, how he’d gotten there. It felt like a real family. Maybe not a family in the traditional sense, but a family nonetheless. When everyone was finished and the dishes had been rinsed and stacked in the dishwasher, Adam sighed.

“Well, I think we’ve put this off long enough,” he said,

“Let’s call your mother, Kane.”

Kane took the phone and called home. After a few rings, he began to talk, explaining quickly where he was.

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It seemed to go downhill from there. We could only hear his side of the conversation, but things obviously weren’t going well.

“But Mom,” he kept saying, but she apparently kept cutting him off. Finally he just sighed and held the phone out to Adam, who visibly winced. He reluctantly took the phone.

“Hello, Eve,” he said evenly. He listened for a moment with his eyes closed. “No, I had no idea he was coming here.” Pause. “No, I didn’t secretly sneak him down here.” Pause. “No, Eve, this is not a kidnapping, don’t call the police. There’s no sense in blowing this out of proportion.” Long pause. “That’s fine, then, I’ll look forward to seeing you.” He hung up the phone.

“About as much as I look forward to a having all my teeth ripped from my head while having all my body hair plucked and being set on fire and...and...”

I couldn’t help it; I started giggling. Adam looked over at me with a half-smile and after a few seconds began to chuckle. Soon we were all laughing and the easy feeling from earlier was back.

“So what was said?” Steve asked.

“A lot that I won’t repeat, thank you,” Adam said with a wry smile, “but the gist of it once we’d estab-lished that I was a no-good kidnapping bastard was that she’ll be down late tomorrow afternoon to pick you up, Kane.”