Back to Life (16 page)

Hearing those words were it for me
. I let go and had the most intense orgasm that I’d ever had in my life. My release triggered something in him because after my body finally stopped reacting to the earthshattering feelings he gave me, he fell into his.  A primal grunt escaped his lips as he found his own euphoric release.

After removing the condom and getting under the covers, we laid face to face, grinning at one another.  Ty brushed the hair
out of my face and gazed at me. 

“That was mind blowing
. I love you,” I said softly.

“I love you too and yes it was,” Ty responded with a kiss.
“Happy Birthday.”

“This has been the best birthday I’ve ever had in my life.   No other birthday will ever compare to this.  So you may have to start planning next year early!” I gave a short, quiet laugh. Quickly realizing that I was presumptuous in assuming we’d still be together, my laughter died.

“If I don’t deliver next year for your birthday, I’ll just try again and again for the rest of my life until you’re satisfied.” Ty’s face was sincere and I melted.

Yawning and cuddling into his nook, I said, “
I’m proud of our effort to wait but let’s not ever wait that long to have sex again.”

“
Waiting is not happening,” Ty laughed.  “I just wanted our first time together to be special for you.  This is what you deserve baby girl. When you told me you’d never been to New York before, I knew we had to go together. And when I thought of our first time together—and I thought of it often—I knew that our first time couldn’t be any other place than New York. And having this all planned out helped me resist temptation.  But you made it so hard to wait. I almost caved so many times baby girl. But never as close as Friday.”

I laughed, “I
just couldn’t wait any longer. I mean, look at you! Waiting was hard! But I’m glad we did wait. I will never forget tonight. I will never forget what you’ve done for me this weekend… and over the last few weeks of my life.  You’re amazing.”

Sleep came fast and easy as I fell asleep in the arms of the man that I love.
  We checked out of the hotel and drove back to Richland in the morning. Ty carried our bags to my loft before he left to go to his weekly Monday meeting that he pushed from early morning to mid-afternoon to accommodate our trip. 

I spent the rest of my birthday reminiscing on the best weekend of my life. 
When Ty returned from work, we had birthday cake and then he had me for dessert. Now that we’d finally had sex, we couldn’t keep our hands off of each other. Being with him in every way imaginable felt so good. We were connected mind, body and soul. 
I never imagined that I would ever be strong enough to allow myself to be this happy,
I thought contently.

Chapter 15   

“Why are you so quiet baby?” I asked Ty as we finished breakfast at The Diner.  Fortunately, the waitress we encountered the first time we visited The Diner together was nowhere to be found. 

“Not looking forward to the trip. And of course,
I don’t want to leave you,” Ty said as he reached across the table to take my hand.  A look I didn’t recognize crossed his face before he continued, “But I have to take care of this.”

“I know I’ve asked you before but I just need to ask one more time.  Is everything okay with Motive?”

“Motive is fine baby girl. I don’t want you to worry.”

“You sure?
You’ve just been so quiet this morning,” I noted quietly, looking at my empty plate and my watered down orange juice.
Something is off and I can’t put my finger on it,
I thought uneasily.  The waitress brought us our change and we stood to leave. Before I could walk away from the booth, Ty grabbed my arm and pulled me up against him. I happily melted into his body, not caring that we were standing in the midst of a breakfast rush.

Staring deeply into my eyes, Ty began,
“For almost a month, you’ve consumed my thoughts, you know that? Every thought comes back to you.  Every last one.”  He kissed me on the tip of my nose and then on my lips.  He pulled back to continue, “I’m just already missing you I guess.” Ty’s smile didn’t reach his eyes.  His eyes looked sad and I ached to wipe the sadness from them.

“I’m going to miss you so much baby,” I
insisted, staring into his eyes.  The sadness in them devastated me. “Please tell me what’s wrong.”

A busboy came by our table to remove the dirty dishes so Ty interlocked his fingers with mine and led me out of The Diner.  When we were on the street, I stopped abruptly, causing Ty to lurch back.  He l
ooked over his shoulder quickly. “You okay?” he asked in a rush. Realizing I had just stopped because I wanted talk, he said.  “We have to hurry baby girl, I don’t want to miss my flight.”

I started walking again and we let the silence envelop us during the short walk. 
If we weren’t holding hands, it would look like we were just two random people walking on the street. I wonder what’s going on with him.  He has to leave town to handle business, but he keeps reassuring me that Motive is fine.  So does this have to do with Jimmy’s? Or Bennett? I wish he would talk to me about what’s going on,
I thought hypocritically.  Shaking my head, I looked over at my dejected boyfriend. 

“Baby…what’s wrong?” I implored
as he opened the parking garage door for me. I walked through the door and to his car.

W
hen I reached it, I turned around and he pulled me into a deep, longing kiss. My body responded immediately to his touch and his kiss.  Pulling away slightly, he said, “I love you Sahara.”

“I love you too Tyree. I love y
ou so much.  And I know you well enough to know that something is wrong.  Baby, please tell me what’s wrong. I need to know that you’re okay...that we’re okay.  I don’t want you to leave like this Ty.” Tears threatened my eyes so I bit the tip of my tongue to keep the tears away.

Ty put his hands on my cheeks and kissed my forehead.  His hands slid down my face to my neck.  He used his thumbs to adjust my face so that I was looking straight at him. “
We love each other; everything will always be okay if we have each other.”

He kissed me again and continued, “
My grandfather told me this would happen for me, but I didn’t pay too much attention to him.  But he was right. You are everything I’ve been missing in my life. You are beautiful, intelligent, fun, strong...  You are my everything, Sahara.” He hugged me tightly and a tear escaped from the corner of my eye. I quickly buried my face into his shirt, ridding my face of the tear.

“Ty, a
re you coming back?” I couldn’t hide the panic in my voice as more tears appeared.

“Yes, yes, of course I’m coming back. I’
m sorry… I didn’t mean to worry you baby girl. I’m just…” he laughed a dry, humorless laugh. “I don’t know.”

“Baby…
I don’t know what I would do without you. I’ve rebuilt my life around you. I’m experiencing love because of you.  I’m happy because of you.  I sleep because of you.  You say that I’m strong but I’m only getting stronger because of you. I don’t know what I would do without you.  You’ve given me so much more than I could ever repay.  I will be counting the days until I’m in your arms again.”

His lips swept across mine making my entire body tingle before he picked me up in a tight hug. 
I barely heard him whisper in my hair, “If we can survive this, we can survive anything.”

Wait, what?
I thought pulling away with tears in my eyes. I swiped at the rogue tears that ran down my cheeks despite my best efforts.  “I don’t like this,” I pouted with a stomp of my foot. We both laughed a short, choked laugh that didn’t feel jovial.  

“I don’t either baby girl,
” he replied, his voice thick with emotion. Clearing his throat, Ty announced, “I have to go. I’m running late. I’ll call you as soon as I land.”

“
You better.” I poked him in his side.  A tear slipped down my cheek and I wiped it away quickly. “Ugh! I’m going to miss you so much Tyree Barker!” I yelled with a laugh. “What have you done to me?!”

He looked at me with a faint smile on his face until I finished laughing.
“You have a great laugh. I love to hear you laugh.” He kissed me quickly before saying, “I keep looking at you and thinking of ‘Never Felt This Way’…when you go inside, listen to it.”

I nodded in response and wiped away another stray tear.
Get it together Sahara! He’s coming back,
I commanded myself silently.

He
wrapped his arms around me and picked me up, kissing me as if he would never kiss me again.  The kiss was so intense it felt like he was trying to express what he felt for me with his lips.  I started to feel faint as butterflies spread across my belly and through my entire body. 
Wow,
I thought as the kiss concluded.
He literally takes my breath away. 

Ty put me down and gazed at me for a minute before he got in h
is sports car.  Starting the engine, he rolled down the window. 

“Call me as soon as you land,” I said with a smile, still floating from that kiss.

“I will baby girl. Have a good day,” Ty responded.

“Bye baby.” I leaned in the car window and kissed him swiftly.  Taking a step back, Ty pulled his Benz out of his space. Beeping the horn twice, he drove away.  Tears filled my eyes
so I shut them tightly.  

Something feels off about today,
I thought as I made my way into Libby Lofts and to the elevator.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder,
I reassured myself. We skirted around the issue of me going with him, but unlike usual, neither of us pushed the issue. He accepted my excuse of having some meetings in Richland. 
Which is the truth… I do have a couple of meetings in Richland.  Sure, they are with my lawyer today and tomorrow and then I’m on a plane to Thomasville,
I thought guiltily as I tilted my head upward
.  I don’t know what is bothering Ty but I would’ve offered to go with him if I weren’t sneaking off to Thomasville. And maybe that’s what was bothering him. Maybe because I wasn’t offering to be there with him, for him. Hmmm…I don’t know. I do know that his goodbye was so cryptic and sad, like he thought if he left, it was going to be the end of us.  I didn’t think it was going to be this hard so I’m going to tell him when he gets back on Tuesday.  I’m going to tell him everything and then we can move forward with a clean slate.
Feeling nervous, but good about my decision, I stepped off the elevator with less emotional baggage.

Walking into my loft, it felt empty.  The gentle rumble of the ice maker was the only sound in the space. 
The sun beamed in warming the loft; however, the space still seemed cold…Beautiful, but cold.  I took a deep breath and walked to the couch. “I guess home really is where the heart is,” I mumbled to myself as I sat down.  I had a few hours before I was meeting Mr. McMannus in the conference room on the 1
st
floor of Libby Lofts. Pulling out my cell phone, I searched for the song Ty told me to and pressed play.  As the song played, I listened to the words. Letting the poetic melody and the truth of the lyrics smother me, I laid my body across the couch.  I closed my eyes and saw Ty’s face. I could hear Ty’s voice in the song. I could feel Ty’s love in the song. I could feel a mix of emotions swirling in the air. I put the song on repeat and got lost in it.

When I woke up, I only had 15 minutes before I had to meet with Mr.
McMannus and knowing him, he was already downstairs.  I jumped up, brushed my teeth, and changed from my sleep wrinkled white T-shirt to a short sleeved purple polo.  I kept my white blue and purple boat shoes on.  I grabbed my handbag and a legal pad and ran out of the door. I was 5 minutes early to the conference room; however, through the window, I could see Mr. McMannus was set up and waiting as if he’d been there for hours.

“Good afternoon,” I said as I walked through the door
of the conference room. 

“Good afternoon Sahara,” he said as he glanced at his watch.

I glared at him to which he gave a short snort of a laugh. “I’m not late,” I stated defensively.

“No you’re not. But we should get started. I am not going to be able to work with you tomorrow so we need to get everything done today.”  He handed me a folder as I took a seat across from him.

“Why? What happened?” I felt panic rising through me and fear radiating off of me.

“Oh no, no
thing like that Sahara. My daughter, the one in Philadelphia, is scheduled to have her baby tomorrow morning so I’m going to fly up to see her. My wife is already there.  Sunday night my wife and I will return to Thomasville.”

“Oh…Congratulations Mr.
McMannus.  Please pass along my well wishes to both your daughter.” I gave him an easy smile as relief cooled my body down.

“Well that’s a nice change.” He stopped fiddling with his paperwork and looked at me hard.

“What?” I asked confused.

“Your smile.
It seems different. More like it used to look,” he observed.

I blu
shed knowing that Tyree Barker was the reason smiles came easily.  Looking down, I opened the manila folder in front of me. Newspaper clippings of the accident and the aftermath greeted me. I slammed the folder closed and looked up at him quickly with wide eyes, “What is this?”

“Sahara, I need you to write about that night. I need you to write about what it did to you.
I need you to summarize how Chris Cole’s actions changed the course of your life.  I brought the newspaper articles so that you could reference specifics.”

“You said we were meeting to prepare. You didn’t tell me I had to relive it!”  My voice was rising, but Mr.
McMannus didn’t seem to notice.

“I knew if I told you to write something and you were alone, it would be worse for you.  And I don’t want you to go into Monday’s hearing unprepared.  It will be much better if you write your thoughts and feelings down.  You need to write from your heart and I’m here to make sure the facts of Cole’s wrongdoing are clearly highlighted.”

I was quiet for a moment. I knew that not writing something would mean I’d have to wing it during the hearing and that would be so much worse. But the thought of me reliving it and writing it down, made me short of breath.  I closed my eyes and focused on my breathing.  Once I got my breathing under control, I nodded to my lawyer. “Okay,” I said quietly.

After working diligently for 3 hours, I completed my hearing speech.  I felt emotionally spent. I cried the entire time I wrote it, but at the same time, it felt good to get it out. Mr.
McMannus put his seal of approval on it and made a copy for himself in case I forgot mine.  He shook my hand and departed to the airport, Philly bound. 

I returned to my loft and decided to order pizza and watch a couple of movies. After ordering the pizza, my cell phone buzzed.

“Hello?” I said with a smile.

“Baby girl…it’s good to hear your voice,” Ty answered.

“What happened to ‘I’ll call you as soon as I land’? All I got was a lousy text of some male model!” I joked as I scooted back into the couch cushion.  Ty texted earlier with a picture of him sitting on a plane with the caption “just landed.”

Ty howled with laughter
, “A male model huh? I’ll take that. How are you? How was your day?”

“Today has been okay
. I listened to the song all day long. I took a nap and went to my meeting. Now I’m waiting for the pizza I ordered and am about to watch a couple of movies.”

“What did you think of the song?”

“I’ve heard it before but I’ve never heard it like that,” I whispered. “I could feel you in the room with me baby. I miss you.”

“
When I woke up and watched you sleep, I kept hearing that song in my head.  And I thought of your whole soundtrack thing and that was the song I knew would be playing if this were a movie.”