Back to Life (8 page)

Ty’s chestnut brown eyes lit up as I confirmed that he wasn’t alone in his feelings.
His smile was contagious and we sat there gazing at each other while “Believe” played around us. 
This is the perfect soundtrack for this moment because Ty is definitely not like most men ,
I thought as he leaned in and gave me a lingering kiss.  My body’s reaction to his touch, his kiss, and his words culminated into a sexually charged buzz that coursed through my body.

Before the kiss had a chance to continue,
Biggie thumped through the speakers. Instantly, I remembered that I put the IPod on random shuffle. 

“How did the playlist go from
soft and sweet to hood without any warning whatsoever?” Ty laughed.  I laughed so hard, I fell back on the couch.  Catching my breath, I looked up and Ty was looking at me with a sexy smile. “I love to see you laugh.”

For the second time in a few minutes,
I was caught off guard by both his words and my physical reaction to his words. I just stared back at him with genuine affection and a little lust.

He pulled me back in
to a seated position and tucked me under his arm, my head rested on his chest. “It’s getting late,” he said softly. I looked at the clock and it was almost 11pm.

“Oh wow… I didn’t realize it had gotten so late,”
I acknowledged. “Oh and you have your meeting in the morning!”
But I’m really not ready for him to go yet,
I thought selfishly.

He rubbed his hand up and down my arm slowly and cleared his throat. “I’m not ready to leave you yet,” Ty whispered against my hair, reading my thoughts.

“I’m not ready either, but you have your meeting,” I halfheartedly pointed out.
Why can’t I just ask him to stay?
I thought, frustrated with myself.

Ty kissed my head again and remained quiet for a minute. “I don’t want you to take this the
wrong way,” he began hesitantly. I tensed as he continued, “But I would like to stay here with you tonight. Like I told you last night, it’s not a ploy to get in your pants. I just want to be here for you. I’ll stay on the couch, if necessary.”

I lifted my head from his body and studied his face.  I
believed every word he said. I leaned in and kissed him gently. “That’s not necessary,” I responded. Standing, I turned back to him and grabbed his hand, “Let’s go to bed.”

While he sat on the edge of the bed and turned on the TV, I went to the bathroom
to change.  After putting on pink yoga pants and brushing my teeth, I leaned against the sink and looked at my reflection.
I’m a good judge of character and Tyree Barker is a good guy. I can feel that instinctively. And just because I want to sleep with him and he’s going to be in my bed all night doesn’t mean I should sleep with him.  I mean, I’ve only known him 2 days. I should wait to get to know him better. Right? Yes. Of course. I should, I can, and I will wait. Even though I really don’t want to wait, I’ll wait anyway! If I have sex with Ty, there would be no turning back and things are already moving fast. I don’t know if I’m ready to deal with everything that comes with deepening feelings. I haven’t felt this strongly for a man since Eman—I haven’t felt this strongly for a man in a long time.  I want to take my time with this amazing, sexy, kind, talented man. Okay waiting it is,
I decided as I concluded my pep talk.

I walked out of the bathroom and my jaw dropped. With his back
toward me, Ty stood shirtless with basketball shorts hanging low. His back muscles were deeply defined and showcased that fact with every move that he made.  I climbed into bed and he turned around after I pulled the covers up around me. It was then that I realized that he wasn’t really into the sitcom that was on; he was being respectful by turning away until I was covered up with the comforter. I smiled at him.

“What?” Ty said, returning my smile.
His chest and abs were just as well defined as his back.  The firm muscles of his chest expanded with each breath.  His 8-pack abs were toned and delicious.  I licked my lips inadvertently and I tried not to stare.  Ripping my eyes away from his body, I looked into his beautiful eyes.   

“Nothing, just glad you’
re here,” I said sweetly. He looked as if he wanted to get in the bed, but looked unsure. So I folded the covers back, “Get in.” And he did.

I cut off the light
as he cut off the TV. Turning to him, I said, “Do you mind if I play music? It helps me sleep.”

I could feel Ty’s breath tickling
my skin so I knew he was extremely close. “No, I don’t mind. Do you mind if I put my arm around you?”

I laughed lightly, “I would
be a little upset if you didn’t.”

Rolling to my side, I grabbed my phone and put on the “Goodnight” playlist. Since I was on my side, Ty wasted no time wrapping his arm around me
and spooning me. His body was warm and hard and smooth. I could feel every ridge and muscle in his chest and arms.  His naked upper body was pressed firmly against my back. His lips found the back of my neck and after pressing the sweetest, most sensual kiss just below my hairline, he whispered, “Goodnight baby girl.”

“Goodnight Ty,” I whispered back.
The chill that ran up my spine did not go unnoticed.

As “Secret
” played in the darkened loft, I truly felt the meaning of the song. I took time to stroke the powerful arms that held me tightly. I hooked my legs around his and I nuzzled my back up against his front. I felt safer in his arms than I’ve felt in the last ten years. The realization both startled and settled me. I was startled and settled for the same reason:  I hadn’t felt a peace like this since the accident. Pulling him even closer, I drifted to sleep.

Awakened Monday morning to the sound of my alarm, I
groggily rubbed my eyes and then stopped abruptly.
I slept through the night?
I thought instantly as the realization hit me. In an attempt to be as discreet and motionless as possible, I rolled slightly and looked over my shoulder. Ty was wide awake.

“Good morning baby girl,” Ty said with a smile.

“Good morning,” I yawned, snuggling in even closer to him.

“
Did you sleep okay?” Ty inquired, squeezing his arm around me even tighter.

“
Better than okay…I slept perfectly,” I disclosed truthfully. “Thank you.”

Chapter 8
   

I walked back into my office suite on Friday afternoon with copies of policies and procedures. My assistant, Whitney, sat at her desk on a call.  She held up a note as I was walking past so I took it and walked through my office door. Sitting on my desk was a red rose and white calla lily bouquet of flowers in a twisted glass vase.  I looked at the note in my hand: Mrs. Jones wants you to stop by her office. And flowers were delivered for you and I put them on your desk.

Because I could look at the
magnificent flower display forever, I decided that it would be in my best interest to check to see what the Vice President of Human Resources wanted. Taking the elevator to the executive floor, I knocked on the door of Deborah Jones.  The woman who I had grown quite fond of over the years called out for me to enter.

“Hi Deborah, how are you?” I said as I entered her spacious office.
Deborah took me under her wing from the moment I arrived at Miller Security and I would forever be grateful to her for that.  As a private, nonsocial person herself, Deborah was exactly what I needed in a supervisor. The barriers we created to seclude ourselves ended up bringing us closer—but not in the typical way. We didn’t hang out or confide in one another, but we never pressed each other to disclose anything other than what needed to be disclosed.  Our relationship was exactly what I needed. 

“Sahara, good, come in,” Deborah said quickly. Turning toward the window, she concluded her call. I took a seat at
the chair in front of her desk as she spun back around toward me. 

“Sahara, how are things going?” Deborah asked.

“Things are going well. I’m working on a new policy. It should be done by close of business Monday so we can go over it before the board meeting next week.”

“Good. Ahead of schedule as always,” Deborah pulled a folder out of her drawer and handed it to me.

“What’s this?” I took the folder and opened it.
Crap!
I thought as soon as I saw the sheet.

“
You submitted a vacation request for June 10
th
to June 24
th
. We had a meeting this morning and we are having the management retreat on June 13
th
and June 14
th
. As the newest member of the management team, your attendance would be encouraged. However, I informed them that you had important business to handle so you would be unavailable. I just need to confirm, is this vacation important?” Deborah looked over her stylish glasses at me.

As much as it scared me to confront the past, I knew I had to be there
, I thought before I answered my supervisor. “Yes,” I said simply.

Deborah nodded. “Okay well it is settled. I’ll make arrangement to ensure you get all the notes and updates from the retreat. Thanks for coming in.”

“Thank you,” I said as I stood. Reaching out to her, we shook hands.

“You’
re welcome,” Deborah replied as she picked up the phone. Before I walked out the door, she called to me. “And Sahara, you look rested,” she observed, not looking for a response as she picked up her phone and punched in a number. I left her office with a smile.
I look rested because I am rested... Thanks to Tyree Barker.

Since
the first time Ty spent the night provided the best sleep I’d had in almost ten years, Ty spent the night with me every night since then.  The sexual temptation was always there for us, but we agreed to wait.  Instead, we fell into an intimate routine of having dinner, watching a movie, and then having conversations in bed. The inner turmoil I felt between pursuing this thing with Ty and ending it before it even started only flared up when we were apart. I knew I was happy with him, but I didn’t think I deserved to be.  But the one fact remained: My evenings with Ty had quickly become my favorite part of the day.

Walking back into my office suite, I smiled politely at
Whitney before closing my office door behind me. The flowers stood in all their glory in the center of my desk. With wide eyes taking in the entire bouquet, I involuntarily sighed at the sheer beauty of the floral display. I saw a white envelope peeking out of the red and white petals. I plucked the note out and sat at my desk chair. The envelope had my name and office address typed across the front. Pulling at the folds, I carefully opened it and pulled out the handwritten note.

Sahara

With you, I understand why my grandfather wanted me to “live a little.” Thank you for an incredible couple of weeks.

Ty

I clutched the note to my chest and exhaled.
The last couple of weeks have been incredible because he’s incredible,
I thought with a sigh. I scooted closer to the bouquet and smelled the sweet scent. I reached in my top desk drawer and pulled out my cell phone.  I thought about texting, but decided to see if I was available to talk for a minute.

“Sahara… I was just thinking about you,” Ty said as he picked up the phone.

“Ty, I just got the flowers. Thank you so much! They are beautiful! Absolutely perfect,” I gushed.

“
You’re welcome! I’m glad you like them, baby girl,” he sounded relieved.

“Like them? I love them!
Thank you again Ty! And your note…so sweet. I love it all,” I exclaimed happily, with a laugh.

“
If it makes you sound like that, that’s all the thanks I need. You don’t even understand what you do to me, Sahara,” he admitted.  His velvety voice sliding over my name caused a tightening deep in my belly.

“If it is anything like what you do to me, I believe I understand quite well,” I
murmured into the receiver, feeling my skin heat up.

Hearing the smile in his voice, he said, “That’s good to know.”

My smile hurt my face and my heart pounded in my chest.
I need to change the subject. NOW!
I thought.  “So how’s your day going?” I asked, changing the course of the conversation.

“
My day is better now that I’ve heard your voice,” Ty said smoothly.

Not distracted by the sweet talk, I pressed with a laugh, “Ty, how’s your day going?”

Laughing, he playfully retorted, “You think you know me so well, don’t you?”

“Yes, now spill it!”

“Well, it started out great. I woke up with you next to me. Got a call from Bennett on the way in. But once I got to work, it was one thing after another.  I had to let Marie go. My head bartender wanted to discuss it. I had an unexpected meeting with my lawyer. I had two separate issues involving arguments between staff.  It’s just nonstop headaches today.  But when you called, you put me in a better mood. You do that to me. You do that for me. And that’s why I got you those flowers…as a token of my appreciation.”

Before I had a chance to respond, my work line startled me with a loud ring. “Hold on,” I whispered before answering my line.

“Yes Whitney?” I asked, hoping she would make it quick.

“Your
3:30 is here,” Whitney said apologetically.

“Okay, thank you
. Let them know that I’ll be with them shortly,” I said as I glanced at the time on my computer, noting that he was 15 minutes early for the meeting. Hanging up the office phone, I looked for the file for my meeting and I picked up my cell phone.

“
Still there, baby?” I asked distractedly as I pulled the file from underneath the heavy flowers in the middle of my desk, careful not to get anything on my pressed khakis or orange sleeveless ruffle collar shirt. 
Wait, did I just call him baby?!
I thought with alarm.  I’ve never used pet names with anyone, ever. It’s not that I am opposed to them. I just never felt close enough to any man to call him anything other than his given name. Even when things got hot and heavy, I never used a pet name. But just then, the word just rolled off my tongue naturally.

Silence met my ears for at least 15 agonizing seconds.
“Did you just call me baby?” Ty whispered sexily.

“
Uh, yeah…sorry, I was distracted and I have a meeting that’s about to start and it just slipped out,” I hurriedly explained.

Speaking slowly and deliberately, Ty said,
“No. No, don’t apologize, Sahara. I like the sound of you calling me baby. I like it a lot. Say it again…” His voice lit a fire in me.

“Baby…” I breathed into the phone,
feeling a wave of desire sweep through my body.

“Say it again,” He dragged the word
s out so slowly it almost felt like he was stroking his fingers down my back, tickling my skin

Closing my eyes, I sat all the way back in my chair, squeezing my thighs together.  “Baby…” I practically p
urred
.
Hearing the sound of his voice, thinking about the way he looks, remembering the way his body felt pressed against mine for the last 2 weeks, I was on the edge.

“
Sahara, you just don’t know,” he tempted with a low groan.  I let out a labored breath. Unable to say a word, I just held the phone to my face as I tried to get control over my body. The silence that settled over the phone held so much promise.
I think I’m done waiting. Waiting is not all it is cracked up to be. Especially if he’s able to get me wet with only a few words,
I thought desirously.

After a minute
, I calmed myself down and wailed,
“Tyree Barker, what are you doing to me?”

“What do you mean baby girl?” he
chuckled.

“Oh you know exactly what I mean
! And I will get you back. Believe that!” I laughed. “But I have a meeting so I have to go. But again, thank you for the beautiful flowers. Best part of my day. Until I get back home to you,” I admitted.
Oh God, did I really just make it seem like we shared a home?! What is wrong with me today?
I thought as I prayed he didn’t catch my slip up.

“
Anything for you, baby girl,
”
he said with genuine affection.
Phew he didn’t catch it!
I thought with relief.

“Do you have to stay at Jimmy’s late tonight?”
I asked, glancing at the clock—five more minutes until the meeting.

“
I’ll be off by 6pm at the latest. I want to take you out tonight. I have a surprise for you,” Ty smiled.

“
Oh really? I can’t wait to see what you have planned for us,” I said excitedly.

“I’ll let you get to your meeting. Text me afterwards and I’ll let you know what you need to wear tonight,” he commanded.

“Ooooh, I think I like this already,” I quipped with a huge smile on my face, to which Ty laughed.

“Sahara,
thanks for calling. It was one of those days, but hearing your voice and your laugh, put me back at ease. I needed this. I need…” he trailed off hesitantly.

“What do you need baby?” I asked with baited breath.

“You,” Ty asserted simply.

Without thinking, just feeling, I responded, “You have me.”

Hanging up the phone, I put my head in my hands and peeked up at the large floral arrangement.
I’m all in
, I thought as the realization hit me. My stomach dropped and fluttered at the same time.
Crap! Tonight, I’ll have to tell him the truth. I can’t let things go any further without telling him. I care about him too much to let him walk into this thing blindly. If he’s as sincere about his feelings for me as I think he is; he needs to know that I ruin lives.  And with things moving so fast, it’s only a matter of time before we both get hurt. I don’t want to ruin his life like I ruined the lives of every single person that I’ve ever loved.
And as a reminder of my life ruining abilities, Whitney rang my line to alert me that it was 3:30pm.

“Send him in,” I responded grimly.

Sitting up straight, I braced myself for the brief meeting with Robert McMannus, the family lawyer.  He had been calling regularly for almost a month, but I never answered his calls.  Just like everyone else who wanted to contact me, he should’ve emailed me since that was my preferred mode of communication.
Except with Ty,
I couldn’t help the thought as it slipped in my mind.

When he
called back to back on Monday, I picked up fearing the worst, and he insisted on meeting me by the end of the week.  I’ve seen him in person a dozen times over the years, but he emails me every 6 months—always with the same information. Although his presence always put me on edge, he’s never pressed me to open up or to talk about it. Since the accident ten years ago, Mr. McMannus always referred to my refusal to talk about the accident and its aftermath as my ‘limitations.’   

“Good afternoon, Sahara. I will keep this brief
because I know your limitations,” Mr. McMannus drawled in his Southern accent after taking a seat. “Next month, the day after your 29
th
birthday, the rest of the money in your trust will be completely handled by you unless you elect to have me retained as your attorney.  Regardless of your decision, the paperwork has to be filed next week so I can have everything ready for the transfer and so I can tie up any loose ends before the hearing.” Mr. McMannus looked up from the stack of papers he was shuffling through to gauge my reaction.  I looked blankly at him and hoped he’d continue so I wouldn’t have to speak yet. He didn’t. The silence was deafening.