Back to You (50 page)

This is old news.

“It’s silly… but if it makes you happy, then yes, I promise.”

Jeff nods and stretches his arms, relieved.

“Okay,” I say and pause, perplexed. Inevitably, I think about Tyler’s secret, about Donn, and the tour of Wolfeboro’s forest with Vuk that afternoon.

“Is there something else on your mind?” Jeff asks from the foyer.

“No, I’m just tired. I’m going to bed.”

“Ok, Ella May, goodnight.” He senses I don’t want to talk about it anymore.

I head up the staircase slowly. Even Jeff has not made the fuss I was expecting in rushing me to bed, despite being as tired as I am. I head to my room and shut the door, pressing it to the wooden frame. It closes with a slight crash because of the air pressing against it.

As soon as my father’s loud rumblings stop, I head to the closet to find something practical to wear. I find a hoodie that I used to wear with my shorts to go running. I think I have finally hung up my ballerina shoes to a nail on the wall, and have given up classical dancing. I stand still, leaning against the closet door, waiting for the fog to return.

The hunt will resume tomorrow when Drake, Noah, and Jeremy, along with the other cousins, will head to White Mountain. It will happen while Vuk heads to the meeting with Donn in the library.

We did not reach an agreement as far as wolves are concerned. But at least he knows now, and there are no secrets. But I can’t still cross the border officially. Vuk is in trouble and he needs me. I can’t even think about it. I’m even more upset when I try to call Jason and he doesn’t answer. When he’s hunting, he leaves his cell at home.

At that moment I hear something hit the window and I turn. Taking a deep breath, I head toward what I’m seeing––my out-of-focus reflection in the dark.

I move toward it and open the window. The air is surprisingly cold, as if in winter. While in the dense forest, protected by the thick branches, I hadn’t noticed. Maybe it was because of Vuk’s warmth nearby. It warms me more than open flames. Icy drops of water splatter on my face, as the rain keeps falling.

It’s too dark to see anything ahead of the dark shadows of the trees that move and dance in the wind. I search through the shadows for other outlines and I see a pale figure moving through the darkness. My eyes are too tired and the rain is too thick. Then I feel a presence near me in the dark, and Vuk slides in through the window. His steps are muffled and his hands are wet from the rain, but as hot as fire. He grabs my waist and pulls me to him.

“How did it go with your guarantor tonight?”

“Nothing much, the usual. We didn’t get anything accomplished.”

“Hmm, I imagined something a bit more exciting. But at least now he
knows
.”

I nod. I feel Vuk’s strong presence, his strong protective embrace around me, as steady as a rock. I glance at his face. It’s calm and collected but his gaze shows his torment.

“You’re upset, and it’s because of me,” he whispers. “You didn’t do anything wrong, Stella.” He puts a hand on my shoulder so I can lean against his arm. “Donn is only trying to help you, in his own way. And trying to win your affection, of course.”

While he speaks, his tone changes and he becomes stiff as a statue of unparalleled, perfect beauty. For a moment I stand silent, struck by the topaz and emerald reflection in his eyes.

“What have you been up to tonight?”

After a brief silence, he chooses his words carefully.

“Nothing exciting, I was in the pickup listening to my music.”

An answer ordinary enough to surprise me. Curiosity takes over.

“
Another Alternative
?”

Even he seems surprised.

“Is it your favorite?”

“Sure” I nod, smiling timidly.

“It’s my favorite, too,” he whispers. He takes me in his arms and whispers decisively in my ear. “I found great inspiration listening to it, to come through the window.”

His breath smells of sweet mint and I quiver. It masks the smell of cigarettes. He never smokes in front of me and wants to hide it from me.

I feel his warm finger under my chin trying to raise it, so he can take a better look at my face. He seems relaxed.

“Have you changed your mind, or do you still think you are in danger?” I ask cautiously. “How silly of you.”

While I wait for an answer my heart beats so fast, it hurts.

Vuk sighs and stares intently at me while his hand moves along my waist.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Stella,” he says decisively, disapprovingly. For sure he knows to what I’m referring. I move closer to nestle my head in the nook between his shoulder and his neck, feeling unwelcome by that embrace. For a brief moment, with a simple glance, my lips sense the vibration of his skin. His breath is anxious and his heartbeat is irregular.

“I’ll tell you what’s also dangerous,” he continues. “One of these days I will die of spontaneous combustion. And you won’t have anyone to blame other than yourself.”

I move away, slightly. Vuk holds on tight and pulls me toward him. I feel his gentle smile as he kisses my forehead with soft lips.

“What are you doing?” he objects, holding me tight. His tone reminds me of how hard it is for him to not know what I’m thinking.

“I am protecting you from spontaneous combustion.” I hold back my breath and look up to see a serious and confused look on his face. My words startle him, and he seems surprised as he loses his poise. He glances at me suspiciously but then smiles.

“Don’t be worried,” he whispers.

I laugh at his smirking. He shakes his head and becomes serious.

“I prefer to burn than to move away from the flame. Instead of taking away oxygen, it feeds my breath.” His lips stay close to my skin and move to my cheek.

“I’m afraid that
moving away
from you could be so upsetting to keep me from being myself. It would make me unable to desire you as I do.”

I try to find the right words, but I’m unable to find any.

“Vuk…”

I shake my head slowly. It doesn’t seem like I’m rejecting him. It does not reflect the feeling that rages through me and shines through my eyes. It seems more of a surrender. He leans toward my lips, slowly and indecisively, and my heart starts beating furiously. I put my hands around his jaw and he believes I’m about to reject him. He’s wrong. I study his face. His eyes show his torment and desperation as never before.

“You know why I’m saying no.” I can’t imagine my life without his friendship. “You know I want you in my life.”

“Really?” He whispers an inch away from my lips, a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

“Yes, of course!” I turn my head to kiss his hair, wet by the rain. I hope this was not a last kiss, like one of those you get before the beginning of an separation. His face and lips go back and forth on my cheek. I throw my arms around his neck and hold on tight.

As he comes in contact with my warm skin, his body becomes more feverish than usual. I heat up, but not because of the temperature. He desires my lips as much as I desire to embrace him.

“I miss it,” he says, and breathes in deeply. “I miss how everything was a lot simpler. Just you and I, no complications. I remember that time well.”

His words have set the memories in motion and he senses the sudden tension in my body.

“Vuk, it won’t always be like this,” I assure him. The words fall quickly out of my mouth. I see a perplexed expression in his eyes. A moment later, his facial expression changes. He wrinkles his forehead, and I’m no longer sensing indecision or willingness to compromise on his part.

“Be reasonable, Stella.” He breathes anxiously and irregularly. He leans down to whisper in my ear. “It will never be the same as long as Donn is there.”

I would like to run away. My stomach is upset, my eyes teary. I breathe in deeply, trying to regain some balance. A strong sensation gets a hold of me, and as that feeling of powerlessness begins to dissipate, I fall into a different emotion. It takes me a while to understand why I was timidly looking away and blushing. It was as if I had been staring at the future. I feel terribly upset by it, nauseated.

“Blood, and more blood,” I whisper. Quickly Vuk covers my mouth as I continue to talk senselessly. Will their rivalry ever end? Could one of them survive the other, I hear my own voice echoing though my head. I’m forced to pull away from his embrace to regain my breath. He lowers the hand that was covering my mouth to my chin as he raises my face to his, and looks into my eyes. He holds me in a tight embrace with the other hand.

“What’s wrong?” He asks, confused. He’s not letting me move an inch. While I stare at him, he becomes pensive. He anticipates my response before I can speak.

“Speaking of complications…” I can’t pronounce this word without smirking. “Why can’t you behave with Donn? Would you mind telling me what was on your mind earlier? He was not too pleased. He’s trying to be polite.”

I want an answer and I want to be kind. Vuk shrugs as his face lights up.

“I was only thinking of you,” he laughs.

“Me? What did I have to do with it?” My voice reflects my confusion.

“It took weeks to regain human form after the full moon. It’s a painful memory for me. And it is also my fault. That night still haunts me, you know?” Vuk breaks into a painful growl. “I was thinking about your appearance, back when I found you in Jeff’s office the night of the party. And I remembered that you were trying to curl up trying to maintain calm. I bet you don’t have the faintest idea of the condition you were in, Stella. Then I remembered the first time that you saw Jeff again. The joy that neither Donn nor I were able to give you. I was mad, and I thought that I should make him understand, because of the pain he caused you, to stay away from you, as I should.”

“No, Vuk! You’re being silly. And don’t say that ever again. Promise me. I don’t want you two fighting because of me.”

“Are you kidding? I haven’t had such good times in months,” he laughs.

I hit him on the arm, jokingly.

“Please help me, Vuk. I hurt my hand.”

“Ok, relax,” he whispers. “Do you think I will see him again soon, in similar circumstances? Don’t worry. Besides, I should let you go to sleep now, even if you are not tired.”

“I’m not tired” I reply, anxious to lighten the mood. “If you feel you are lowering your guard, I know a
better way
to do it. For example, a run in the woods, a tour of the lake, something of that sort.”

I reach for his face, as I try to curl up against him. His arms hold me tight, I can’t move. He takes my face in his hands.

“Stella, you don’t realize how things are, and your sarcasm threatens my self-control, and it’s not helping.”

“You’re right, I have to be the responsible one.”

“No. Let me be responsible for a few seconds, or a few minutes.” His whisper caresses my ear.

I look up and I see him looking at me. Too intensely. I see the excitement light up in his eyes. He displays a mischievous smile. His topaz eyes sparkle like precious stones, and he takes my breath away. He holds my face a few inches from his, giving me a mesmerizing gaze. He curls my hair around his fingers as he pulls me close. I breathe in his delicious scent.

“Will you let me explain how you threaten my self-control?”

He speaks in a poised tone, but his question is a bit condescending.

My breath turns into panting.

“Vuk, I…” I am so confused that my head is spinning, my heart is racing and my lips are burning.

“Let’s talk about it tomorrow. Today is still mine.”

His fingers run along my back and his breath is slowly getting closer to my skin. His eyes are burning and sparkling, always so intense.

He leans and with his lips, burning like an iron, touching my cheek. They take the shape of my cheekbone, perfectly. They are so soft, so familiar and as warm as fire.

I put my hands on his chest and I feel my legs give in. While he searches for the outline of my face with his fingers, his lips find the closest corner of my mouth. He hesitates, as if he’s trying to test me. He moves slowly as if he wanted to prolong the moment after the long wait. Perfect at last. He turns his head, and this time it’s different. I feel his hands caressing my face. His warm fingertips follow the contour of my lips. He tries hard to fight his instinct and to control his desire. He does not lose his poise. Finally, he displays a daring smile.

“Good night, little girl. Sweet dreams. Sleep well.”

“Vuk, I…” I’m still breathless.

He stops me with a quick kiss.

“I said not to worry,” he whispers. He tries to catch my glance as he offers his most charming smile.

“Will you do something for me, at least?” The beautiful emerald of his eyes melts my resistance.

“Anything you want,” I promise.

With his velvety lips he touches mine for the first time since a month ago, and with extreme gentleness he pries them open.

I need some time,” he says, smiling timidly. “I don’t have enough of it. And this is the way I deal with it.” His golden face gets close to my lips one more time. His lips start moving slowly and mold to mine, again. There is no urgency to end that kiss.

“This is what I need now. You,” Vuk confesses. “To taste you, to smell you again.”

One last kiss, as his lips taste mine. His sweet breath sends shivers through me as he holds me in his arms.

“This is unbearable. With anything I could have asked of you, this is all I want…just a kiss.”

When he lets go, my arms start shaking a little. He holds my hands firmly and kisses my fingers tenderly. He kisses them one by one and turns away. Neither one of us likes this moment––leaving, even if for a short while.

He sighs and gets ready to hop out of the window. In the brief moment I have before he does, I let him know that all is well between my dad and me, and that I will see him at school tomorrow. He takes his leave in a good mood.

“See ya soon!”

He jumps off the ledge and takes off in the direction of the forest, already shaking with the signs of the imminent transformation into his other self. He disappears into the woods in an instant.