Baggage & Buttons (21 page)

‘You’re so beautiful,’ he exclaimed as he looked up at
me. ‘Why are you smiling so much?’

‘Because I’ve had the most amazing evening with you,
no scratch that, I’ve had the most amazing two weeks since I met you Gabe
Austin.’

‘You really mean that?’ he asked, looking up at me all
happily.

‘I do,’ I nodded. I gripped the top of my dress and
slowly pulled it off each shoulder and arm and let it drop to my waist, before
wriggled it slowly down to my hips. He left out a soft sigh as his eyes
lingered on my full breasts, I still hadn’t worked out if he was a breast, bum
or leg man, he seemed equally fond of all my parts, especially what was between
my legs. I took a deep shaky breath and peeled the dress over my hips and let
it slide down to the floor, leaving me standing before him naked, suddenly
feeling very exposed and extra nervous. His eyes travelled hungrily over my
stomach, down between my legs and back up, then he stopped and looked at my hip
and then back up at me with a frown.

‘You have a tattoo? When did you have that done? It
wasn’t there on Thursday.’ He really didn’t miss anything when it came to me or
my body.

‘I booked it Thursday afternoon and had it done Friday
morning, it’s my surprise, call it a late anniversary gift for you.’ He pulled
me closer towards him and examined it, lifting up his index finger and traced
around it and looked back up at me wide eyed. ‘It’s a heart with your initials
inside,’ I whispered to clarify, given he looked so confused. I could feel that
my hands had started shaking.

‘And I love it, but I don’t understand why you’d do
this, it’s permanent Mia.’

‘For someone so intelligent Gabe Austin, you’re so
very slow when it comes to me trying to tell you something so important.’ He
looked back at it confusion still on his face, so I reached out and lifted his
chin up so he met my eyes. ‘It’s permanent because that’s how I feel Gabe. It’s
your initials inside a heart … my heart.’ I took a deep breath, my stomach
churning, I’d never said this to a guy before. ‘I’m trying to tell you that … that
I …’ I exhaled hard and fast. ‘Wow this is harder than I thought it would be.’

‘Mia?’ He looked up at me, utterly flummoxed.

‘Ok I can do this … I just need to say it … Gabe … I
love you,’ I said it as fast as I could before I had a chance to change my
mind. He gasped and the look on his face was priceless. Shock, disbelief and a
faint glimmer of hope.

‘But Mia you said … you made it clear from the start …
Mia
?’ He looked up at me all lost.

‘I said I’d never lie to you Gabe, I’ve only been
lying to myself, I
love
you,’ I said again, feeling my whole body
trembling with fear. ‘I think I knew it when we were in the bath, when you were
so upset, my heart was aching for you. It took me until yesterday to trust my
own feelings, to realise what I was feeling
was
love. I’ve never felt like
this for any guy before.’

‘You mean it? You really love me?’ he questioned as he
nervously chewed on his lower lip. I nodded and smiled, biting my mine, and
tucked my hair behind my ears. I reached out my shaking hands and took one of
his and placed it over my heart, to let him feel it pounding too quickly, way
too quickly. ‘You really mean it,’ he gasped as tears of happiness started to
roll down his cheeks. He stood up slowly and pushed his hands into my hair,
cradling my face as he looked down into my eyes. ‘Baby you’re trembling.’

‘Because I’m scared Gabe, it was supposed to be all
about sex, I didn’t want a relationship, I didn’t want to let anyone in, but
you’ve made me fall in love with you and it’s all happened so fast … I’m
terrified that you’re going to hurt me.
Please don’t hurt me Gabe,
’ I
whispered, as I felt tears spill out and start rolling down my cheeks and he
wrapped his arms tightly around me, pinning my arms to his chest as he laid his
cheek on the top of my head and kissed my hair.

‘Baby I told you, I
love
you, with all my heart.
I promise I’m never going to hurt you. I’m going to protect you and love you
better than anyone else ever could. You won’t regret it Mia.’

‘I’d better not Gabe. I don’t think I’d survive you
breaking my heart.’

‘I couldn’t live with myself if I did that to you,
besides I’d be too scared of Lexi kicking my arse.’ We laughed and he pulled
back and wiped away my tears and looked down at me and sighed. ‘You’ve made me so
happy Mia, I promise I’m going to do everything I can to make you as happy as
you’ve made me.’

‘
I’ll
kick your perfectly formed arse if you
hurt me Gabe, I’m so petrified right now and I’m trusting you. I feel like I’ve
just jumped without a parachute and you’re the only one who can save me.’

‘I’ll always catch you Mia. You mean the world to me,
I love you.’

We held each other tightly and spent the next few
hours using our bodies to reconfirm our feelings for each other.

Sunday

I woke up hand in hand with Gabe, it was less than six
hours since I’d told him that I loved him, that I was in love with him and had made
him the happiest man alive. For once, he’d slept in with me, instead of me
waking to find a note on the pillow telling me he’d gone for an early swim, for
a run or to the gym, not today. Today he lay peacefully by my side, his fingers
entwined with mine. I sighed happily as I looked at his handsome face and
watched him gently breathing. He was the man I gave my virginity to, who made
me melt with a touch or glance, who made me fall in love for the first time and
I was so happy, yet also terrified at the same time. I’d handed him my fragile heart
last night and was praying that he wouldn’t shatter it. As I lay watching him
he suddenly stirred and opened his dazzling blue eyes, looking straight into
mine and gave me one of his knicker wetting smiles.

‘Good morning baby.’

‘Morning. Did you sleep well?’ I asked as I traced a
finger over his eyebrow.

‘Like a log. I haven’t slept so well since I was
child. Why are you smiling at me like that?’

‘It’s usually you watching me sleep. It was nice to
watch you for a change,’ I smiled. He suddenly sat up, pulled the duvet back
from my naked body and ran his finger over the tattoo on my left hip and looked
back at me anxiously.

‘I didn’t dream it then?’

‘Dream what?’

‘You telling me that you loved me?’ He almost sounded
panicked, like it was too good to be true. I pulled him back down, so that he
was lying on his side facing me again and I brushed his cheek with my fingers.

‘No, you didn’t dream it Gabe, I told you that I love
you and I meant it. I also meant it when I said I’ll kick your arse if you
break my heart.’ I leaned in and gently kissed his soft lips and he responded,
pulling me tightly to his chest, wrapping his arms around me and resting his
forehead on mine.

‘That’s why I slept so well and when I opened my eyes
… I just had a feeling it was too good to be true, that I’d dreamt it all. I
promised you that I wouldn’t hurt you and I meant it Mia, you don’t know how
precious you are to me.’

‘Good, well you didn’t dream it. Would you like me to
tell you again?’

‘Yes please,’ he grinned.

‘I love you Gabriel Austin.’ I managed to say it this
time without shaking, though my stomach still tightened. It was a really big
deal for me to say those words, I’d been let down by some men in my life so
badly. I’d only ever said them to my mum and Lexi, so I didn’t say them
lightly. I was sure if Gabe broke my heart I’d never be able to say them to another
man again.

‘O god Mia, you don’t know how desperately I’ve wanted
to hear that from you. I feel like my heart’s missing when we’re apart. You
take it with you whenever you leave me.’

‘You take mine too Gabe and I’m amazed it’s not
missing at 9 a.m. You’re usually up and out long before this.’

‘It’s 9? Seriously?’ He looked shocked.

‘Yes, why did you have plans?’

‘Well no, only to spend the day with you, but I’ve
never slept in like that, you’re a bad influence.’

‘Well I need a caffeine fix, someone kept me awake ’til
4 a.m. unable to keep his hands off me.’ Gabe just grinned at me, with a complete
look of male pride on his face. He’d been insatiable after I’d told him those
three little words, no sooner had he come than his erection was rising again. He’d
made love to me so many times, I think he’d finally sexed me into unconsciousness.
‘You stay in bed for once Gabe, I’ll bring the coffee to you.’

I kissed him again and untangled myself from his
embrace pulling on a t-shirt and felt a familiar pull in my pelvis and my heart
sank. I went to the toilet and saw blood, as I’d expected. As I inserted a
tampon I realised it was the first time I didn’t find it painful. There again
in comparison to Gabe’s dick, it was tiny, anything would be. I sighed, no sex
for at least a week now and I’d no idea how we were going to manage that, we
couldn’t keep our hands off each other. I pulled out the packet of
contraception, first day of my period meant taking the first tablet. I
swallowed it and rinsed it down with some tap water and crossed the hall and
knocked on Lexi’s door.

‘Come in,’ she shouted. I opened the door and went in
to find her playing with her iPhone in bed.

‘Morning Lexi, how you feeling?’

‘Still
fucking
pregnant, pissed about it and
still
fucking
sober and alone,’ she grumbled with a scowl.

‘Fucking excellent,’ I grinned, with a shake of my
head. She was always cranky in the mornings, but this pregnancy seemed to have
made her even worse. ‘Coffee?’

‘Yes please, the usual.’

‘I’ll bring it in for you.’

‘What’s going on? You’re all smiley and glowy. You’re
never smiley and glowy in the morning.’

‘Nothing’s going on, I just had a lovely date last
night and I’m happy.’

‘O shit. The date, the tatt, how did it go?’ She
scrambled into an upright position putting her phone down to look at me.

‘Amazing. He looked …
wow,
the restaurant was
gorgeous and he was so attentive. We had sex in his car, then I showed him the
tattoo and told him that I loved him.’

‘You did it in the car?’ she exclaimed.

‘You pick on that to ask me about?’ I put my hands on
my hips and looked at her, astonished. ‘I just told someone other than you and
my mum that I love them, which is pretty
bloody
momentous and you pick
up on car sex?’

‘Hey, I’m getting no action in this state, so I’m
living vicariously through you. So was he really happy?’

‘Yes, he’d never done it in his car before,’ I teased.

‘With you telling him you loved him, not the sex, I
know he’ll have loved the sex, he
always
loves the sex,’ she laughed
throwing a pillow at me, which I dodged.

‘Lex he was so happy he cried. Tell him I told you
that and you’re dead.’

‘Bless him,’ she grinned. ‘Wearing makeup
and
crying, who’d have thought that of macho Gabe? I’m storing that information for
a future date so I can blackmail him when I need a favour. So how are you
doing? You ok?’

‘Happy and completely terrified at the same time.
There’s just something in my gut that tells me to trust him, that he won’t let
me down, even though there’s still a tiny portion of me that thinks I’m going
to get hurt again.’

‘Well he’ll have to answer to both of us if he does hurt
you Mia. I’m really happy for you. So am I getting this bloody coffee or what?’

‘On it,’ I laughed.

I made three mugs and some plates of buttered toast,
left Lexi’s with her and found Gabe sitting up in bed checking his phone. He
smiled when I shut the door and passed him his coffee.

‘So, what’s the plan for today?’ I asked as I put the
plate of toast between us and climbed back in.

‘How are you feeling after your attack yesterday?’

‘Ok, I’ve come on though, so sex is off the agenda for
a while I’m afraid.’

‘I told you, it’s not all about sex. Are you in pain
today?’

‘Just aches in my tummy and back, nothing awful.’

‘Well I’m not happy you waiting for a scan, not after yesterday’s
attack. I want you to make an appointment at the doctors on Tuesday morning so
I can come with you. I’m going to get a private referral for you to be seen
quicker. Don’t look at me like that, I’ve made my mind up. I need to know
what’s wrong with you so we can fix it.’

‘Ok,’I nodded and chewed on my toast. He looked at me
astonished.

‘Ok? You argue every time I ask you to do something
minor and with this I get an immediate ok?’

‘Yes, I know how I’d feel if it was you suffering, I’d
want you fixed. So ok.’

‘Great, easier than I thought, so about the
self-defence classes …’

‘You’re over reacting now Gabe,’ I interrupted with a
sigh. ‘I don’t need to do self-defence.’

‘Mia a girl was murdered and left on campus. I don’t
want to have to worry about whether you can defend yourself or not. This isn’t
negotiable.’ He had his authoritative tone on and I knew better than to argue,
after all it was only a few classes, what harm could it do if it kept him
happy?

‘You’re so bloody domineering,’ I sighed.

‘When it comes to looking after you yes and I won’t
apologise for it. I’ll look into classes for you and Lexi. So how do you feel
about us going out for a walk and Sunday lunch? We could invite Lexi too so she’s
not on her own.’

‘Sounds perfect and thank you for thinking of Lexi,
you’re so sweet. Why don’t you ask Doug too? We missed our chance to fix them
up yesterday.’

‘Only because you were too hung over after your Friday
night out,’ he said, shooting me a disapproving scowl. ‘I’ll grab a shower then
give him a ring.’

I kissed him, watching as he got out of bed and walked
to the bathroom with his usual morning hard on, so I followed him in and
relieved him with a blow job.

We both got dressed, each pulling on pairs of dark
blue jeans. I put on a black jumper and my timberland boots. Gabe was in a
light blue shirt with white collar and cuffs and his navy converses, I loved
the way he dressed during the day, casually smart but sizzling hot. I went and found
Lexi still in bed.

‘Hey Lex, we were thinking of heading out into the
country for a walk and Sunday lunch somewhere, will you come with us?’

‘Only if you’re not inviting me out of sympathy, I’m
perfectly fine here with my popcorn for lunch you know.’

‘I promise you Gabe wants you with us. He knows how
important you are to me and we haven’t spent as much time together since I
started seeing him.’

‘Fine then, but no sneaking off to shag in the country
bushes, leaving me standing on my own.’

‘I’m on.’

‘Never stopped me,’ she said with a shrug.

‘TMI as you put it Lexi. Well I’m not sure I like the
idea, plus Gabe’s insistent he won’t, in case he causes me any more pain.’

‘He needs a sainthood that guy, how’s he going to keep
it in his pants for that long? You two never bloody stop.’

‘I’m just going to have to make sure I look after him
in other ways aren’t I? Right I’ll find out what time he wants to leave.’ I
headed back from my room and found Gabe sat on the edge of the bed on his
phone.

‘No Doug, I told you she doesn’t know you’re coming
alright, so it’s not a date … No, I know you asked her, but she didn’t say yes
… How do I know if she’ll say yes if you ask again? I’m just saying she may be
a bit surprised to see you, so don’t go for it the minute you get in the car.
Try and play it cool will you? ... Well don’t say I didn’t warn you, she’s got
a bloody temper on her. Pick you up about 11.30? ... Ok see you then.’

‘Sorted?’ I asked.

‘Yes and you’ll take any fallout from this,’ he said as
I clapped and did a little jig around the room.

‘So what time do we need to leave here?’

‘11.15 should be fine.’

‘Eleven Lexi and wear some comfy walking shoes,’ I
yelled out the door and Gabe looked at me surprised. ‘She’s always running late
so this way she may be on time. So we’ve an hour to kill, what do you suggest?’

‘Well I know what I would’ve suggested, but as that’s
off the table, how about we go and stock up on some food shopping as you
haven’t been out since last week.’

‘But you’re the only one who ever cooks here, if you
don’t count our sausage fiasco the other night.’

‘Well that’s another thing that’s going to change. I’m
going to start teaching you the basics. So in the time we’d normally be
fucking, we can be cooking.’

‘Doesn’t sound nearly half as much fun,’ I said with a
sulk.

‘Maybe not, but it’s all I’m doing with you until I
know you’re feeling better.’ He stood up and put his arms around my waist and
kissed me softly. ‘I’m just going to check your kitchen to see what we need and
I’ll book a table for the four of us at two thirty.’

I quickly swallowed a couple of painkillers while he
was out of sight, putting some more in my bag and joined him in the kitchen as
he wrote out a list. I felt slightly sick, which wasn’t unusual when I was on,
but I wondered if it was my anxiety at my declaration. It was out there now and
I couldn’t take it back, even if I wanted to, but I was worried what exceptions
he may have now I’d said it. We’d not even talked about our plans for half
term, let alone where we saw this relationship going. I shook my head, one step
at a time, day by day that’s what we’d agreed after he’d said it to me. Me
saying “I love you” didn’t mean that had to change.

We headed out and soon made it to the M&S outlet,
where he loaded up the small trolley and I pulled out my purse at the checkout.

‘Put it away, I’m buying these,’ he said.

‘No, not again Gabe.’

‘Yes. Please put it away.’