Baggage & Buttons (30 page)

‘I may do the same, though I’ve no intentions of
ringing my mother.’

‘You’ve still not heard from her since we moved up?’

‘Have I hell. I’d like to talk to Mrs P though if you
don’t mind? I miss her.’

‘Of course you can Lex, you don’t need my permission
to ring her. You’re like her adopted daughter, she loves you.’

‘I so struck lucky when I picked you as a best
friend.’

‘Hey,’ I objected. ‘It was me who made the first move,
I get the credit for this friendship.’

‘No way you made the first move.’

‘Uh huh,’ I nodded, remembering my first day at
Rowleys. I’d seen her sitting alone, hunched up on one of the play area swings,
her feet scuffing the ground as her legs were way too long. She’d looked so sad
and lost, just like I’d been feeling. ‘You’re lucky I didn’t walk away, you
told me to sod off when I went over to you on the swings to say hi.’

‘Really?’ she exclaimed.

‘Yep, with one of your famous scowls.’

‘Why didn’t you walk off?’

‘Don’t know,’ I shrugged. ‘Guess I saw a bit of me in
you and figured you were just putting on a front trying to be brave.’

‘We were destined Page, like Romeo and Juliet,’ she grinned
as she linked arms with me.

‘Well I hope things work out for us a bit better than
that. You couldn’t think of a better example? Especially ones that weren’t
lovers that killed themselves?’

‘Well I was thinking Thelma and Louise, with Gabe
being your toned Brad Pitt character, but they drove off a cliff.’

‘Isn’t it funny how everyone remembers the characters
names for the girls, but it’s always “Brad Pitt” when they talk about him?’

‘Hey, no one cares when he’s flashing his abs about like
that do they? That’s all they’re interested in. Even Mrs P kept pausing the
movie at that point,’ she grinned. I giggled remembering how annoyed Gerry got
with the three of us drooling over Brad when we’d watched it together.

‘Well we could be Melissa McCarthy and Sandra Bullock
in The Heat. You the foul mouthed rebel and me the straight laced FBI agent.’

‘Hey, my mouth’s not
that
foul.’

‘Please, you swear like a trooper and you know it.
Your nickname at Rowleys was Potty Clarke.’

‘They could have added in the “mouthed” bit so it was “Potty
mouthed Clarke,” people thought I was seriously deranged and there was even a
rumour that I wore incontinence pants as I couldn’t control myself,’ she
scowled. ‘Anyway it was still so much better than yours.’

‘I had a nickname?’ I asked, looking up at her surprised.

‘You didn’t know?

‘No. Tell me, what was it?’

‘O no way,’ she laughed with a big grin. ‘I’m saving
that for the ten year reunion. I want a picture of your face when you find out.’

We argued all the back to the bus and I had a sulk and
ignored her all the way home when she refused to let me know.

We flipped a coin and I got first dibs on the bath. As
it was running I set up my new iPhone docking station and put my phone on to
charge up ready for a long overdue chat with mum. I remembered the other gift
and took it out of my bag. I carefully unwrapped the tissue paper to find a
beautiful white square wooden frame, with a heart shaped aperture, in which he’d
put in the picture I’d asked for of us holding hands. I hugged it to my chest
and rearranged my bedside table to put both items on. I went and soaked in the
bath for a while. The heat of the water felt so good and relaxed my cramping
muscles somewhat.

‘Lexi. I’ve finished in the bath and cleaned it and it’s
already running for you,’ I yelled.

‘Great thanks, I’ll head in now.’

I threw on my black pyjamas and took the washing to do,
then figured I needed to get the call with mum out of the way. I made myself a
hot water bottle and hot chocolate and climbed into bed. She answered within
two rings.

‘Hey mum.’

‘Mia, thank god. I was so worried when you didn’t pick
up my calls yesterday. It was so nice to hear your voice on the answer machine
when I got home. How are you sweetheart?’

‘I’m good mum. I miss you.’

‘We miss you too, even Mr Biggles keeps going in your
room looking for you.’

‘
Mum,
you know he goes in there to wee on my
floor, or even on my bed, he
hates
me. Please check and clean it up and
keep him out, or stick some of those pet pants on him.’

‘He doesn’t hate you, he just picks up on your
hostility to him and I’m
not
putting him in dog diapers Mia, so I’ll
check your room and keep the door shut then, but he won’t be happy. So how are
things?’

‘Good. We’ve settled in really well. Lexi’s in the bath
at the moment, but she wants to speak to you when we’re finished. Classes are
going well, but I need to sort myself out to do more studying. It’s way more
intense than college.’

‘You’ll do fine Mia, you’re a clever girl, just like
your sister. Please tell me you’re being careful with that awful murder up
there? Did you know her?’

‘No I didn’t know her mum, but yes Lexi and I are
being careful, as always.’

‘Good, I do worry about you both. So are you going to
tell me about this new boyfriend? Or do I have to come up there and torture it
out of you?’

‘O god,’ I groaned. ‘Who told you about him? Kai?’

‘No one told me anything, I was just testing you.’

‘Mum that was
so
sneaky,’ I exclaimed and she
laughed.

‘Well how else do I get you to tell me what’s really
going on?’

I filled her in on how we’d met and our flirtations
and dates, without going into the sex and possessiveness, I didn’t want to
scare her.

‘Do you love him Mia? This is the first time you’ve
ever spoken to me about a boy while being all excited like this.’

‘I do mum,’ I smiled down the phone. ‘He’s so kind and
considerate and very protective of me.’

‘Are you having sex?’

‘MUM,’ I gasped, horrified she’d just asked that.

‘O please, I’ve had children, I know all about sex. I
still have a very active sex life you know. Gerry is a very skil…’

‘For the love of god mum,’ I interrupted quickly. ‘
Please
don’t say another word about your sex life, it’ll scar me for life.’

‘Was he your first?’

‘Yes mum,’ I rolled my eyes.

‘Is it good? You don’t want to be in a relationship if
there’s no passion.’

‘I can’t believe we’re having this conversation mum,
but yes it’s amazing, he’s amazing.’

‘Are you being careful?’

‘Yes we are, he insisted on condoms from the start. In
fact I’ve just started the pill and we’re going together to get him tested
tomorrow to be absolutely sure.’

‘He’s had previous experience then?’

‘Yes he has. I can’t explain it mum but I just trust
him, you know all the times I’ve gone out with other guys and felt nothing?
With him it was instant. I’m just a bit worried it’s too much too soon.’

‘You can’t help how you feel and sometimes you’ve just
go with it. Passion’s wonderful Mia, just make sure that’s not all it is. You
need some substance underneath in case that fades away.’

‘I know that mum,’ I sighed, surprised to hear her
echoing my own fears back to me.

‘That’s what went wrong with your dad and I, it was
all about the sex, lust at first sight.’

‘Mum please,’ I groaned. That was too much
information, plus I didn’t need a reminder that their lust for each other wore
off. Not when I was worried about the very same thing with Gabe.

‘He’s the good looking, tall well-spoken blond that
came to the house the other week isn’t he? The one looking for Kai?’

‘Yes. Sorry about that, there was this
huge
misunderstanding and he just wanted to talk to Kai to make sure everything was
good.’

‘Kai will be heartbroken sweetheart.’

‘Please don’t discuss me if you see him mum. He didn’t
take it very well.’

‘I’ll bet he didn’t, but you were always a heart breaker
Mia. Well I can see why you’ve fallen for this Gabe, he’s a total babe.’

I burst out laughing. ‘A babe?’

‘Ok a fox, a hottie, he’s smokin’ whatever the phrase
is that you kids use now. If I was twenty years younger I’d be at the front of
the queue. Just make sure he treats you with respect and kindness too. You
deserve to be treated well Mia.’

I smiled at Lexi as she came into the bedroom wrapped
in a towel. ‘Thank you mum, I love you. Listen, I’d better go Lexi’s just come
in.’

‘I love you too sweetheart, please be careful up
there.’

‘I will, right I’m going to hand you over and go and
sort some dinner. We’ll come back for a few days at half term ok?’

‘I’ll look forward to it. Bye.’

‘Bye mum. Here you go Lex,’ I handed over the phone
and left her sitting on my bed. I felt so much better knowing that mum knew
about Gabe, even though I didn’t like the comparison of our relationship to the
one she’d had with my dad. I got two pots of beef stew out of the freezer and managed
to work the defrost button on the microwave, then nuked them. I tipped the
steaming contents into two large pasta bowls and grabbed two spoons.

‘Lex are you still on the phone? Dinner’s ready.’

‘Ok, give me a second,’ she shouted.

I took the stew on a tray to the lounge along with two
cans of coke and put Lexi’s in front of the sofa. I turned on the fire and the
TV and curled up with mine on the recliner. Lexi strolled in and handed me my
phone.

‘Hmmm what smells so good?’

‘This is the beef and red wine stew Gabe made last
week. That time you said “O god what’s that smell” and threw up.’

‘Well today it smells good.’

‘It is good, really good. It feels like winter staying
in all cosy with a bowl of stew. It’s very comforting.’

‘Wow it’s amazing, it there anything he isn’t good at?’
she said as she tucked in.

‘Spending a night away from me it seems. He’s been very
grumpy today, but got me two lovely presents.’

‘I saw, iPhone dock and picture frame. You guys make
me want to heave you’re so in love.’

I looked at her and saw she was smiling at me. I put
down my empty bowl and sent him a text.

Hi sexy boy. Thank you for my iPhone dock which has
already been put to use and for my gorgeous frame and picture, it’s on my
bedside table. Hope practice has gone well? We’ve just had your frozen stew for
dinner, it was really good. Hope you sleep ok tonight. See you tomorrow morning
<3 x

I argued with Lexi over what to watch on TV, so we
decided to turn it off and put on some music and do a bit of studying. I’d only
done about an hours’ worth when my phone started vibrating and moving across
the desk. I picked it up to see a reply from him.

Doug said you wanted a copy. You do know you were
supposed to heat the stew right, not eat it frozen? ;-) Practice was good. I’m
doing some study to try and take my mind off you. I already miss you, I don’t
know how I’m going to sleep tonight without you baby :-(

Well I’ve got big boy the panda to hold tonight. Maybe
I need to get you something. Would you like a blow up doll? x

Are you being serious??!! A fucking inflatable plastic
thing is supposed to make me feel better about not having you in my bed? I
think not. I hate this Mia, it better make you happy doing this, because it’s
not me. See you at eight

He
was
grumpy. On top of not saying he loved me
last night, he hadn’t even put any kisses at the end of any of his texts today either,
which upset me and then I was annoyed at myself for being upset. I’d always laughed
at girls for getting all worked up reading into things with their guys and here
I was doing the exact same thing.

‘Lex, I’m sorry I need to go to bed, you ok working on
your own?’

‘Sure, what’s going on?’

‘He’s really pissed about us being apart and I can’t
tell him how much I’m hating the idea now can I? Not after all the bloody fuss
I made. I just want to go to sleep so I don’t have to think about it again
until I wake up.’

‘I’m here if you need me.’

‘Thanks Lex, night.’

‘Night.’

I left her in the lounge and went to brush my teeth
and take a couple of painkillers and a sleeping tablet. I refilled my hot water
bottle and climbed into bed and looked at the empty space next to me and sighed.
I curled up into a ball with the hot water bottle on my stomach and grabbed big
boy and wrapped my arms around him. The more I tried not to think about Gabe,
the more he invaded my thoughts and I found myself crying.

I’d just opened up and told him that I loved him and
now we were sleeping apart, he was grumpy and seemed to be holding back his
affections and I was getting upset about it, when it was my idea in the first
place because it was supposed to make me feel better. Was this what being in
love was supposed to be like? Because if so, it sucked.