Blind Squirrels (16 page)

“I thought you had...what set you
back?”

“I’ve seen him.  Three times this
week.”

“Where?  Did you talk to him? 
Tell me about it, Kat,” Olivia said excitedly.

“He was in Hurricane Gardens.  He
saw me, but he didn’t recognize me.  There was something odd about him.  He
seemed depressed or troubled.  I felt sorry for him.”  I could still see his
tormented face.

“I’ve seen him, too.  Not at the
garden, I mean.  I saw him in our office.  This was several months ago...”

“You saw him...and you didn’t
tell me?”  I was indignant.

“I thought it was best.  I know
how you get.  Anyway, did you get a good look at him, Kat?  He’s changed quite
a bit.”

“How?  Sure he’s older – so are
we.”

“Kat!  He’s...he’s...  Let’s be
brutally honest here.  He’s ugly.  Of course, he was ugly in high school, too. 
I never could figure out what you saw in him.”  Olivia was always critical
about Max.  We just didn’t see him the same way.

“I’ll admit that he’s no George
Clooney, but he’s still Max – no matter how he looks.  And I still care about
him.”

“No George Clooney, no George
Jones...shoot, George
and
Kramer on Seinfeld outclass Max.  Let me
explain – Max could appear in any horror movie without the aid of makeup.”  Olivia
giggled at her wit.

“Okay, okay.  I know you think
Max is hideous.  We never did share an interest in the same type of men. 
That’s why we’ll always be friends.  A man will never come between us.  And it
helps that I know how to ignore your digs against my men.”

“I never knocked Ben, but I never
knew him that well either.  So go ahead, make some pot shots at Pete.  He’s
gained a few pounds and you never liked him much.  Go ahead.  Let me have it.”

“Um...he’s not your boyfriend or
crush anymore.” I said.  “Besides, what would I say?  He’s just not my type.”  I
had always found it difficult to make fun of Olivia’s men.  I never thought
Pete was anything to look at, but many girls did, including Olivia.  Beauty is
in the eye of the beholder.  I wasn’t going to change her picture of Pete even
if I did kid her about his size and his ridiculous haircut.  And she wasn’t
going to change my view of Max either.

“Ouch,” Olivia joked.  “You
really know how to hurt a person.”  She suddenly jumped up and grabbed her
purse.  “I’d love to sit around reminiscing all day, but I’ve got things to
do.  How are you spending your Saturday?”

“I’m not sure, but something will
come up.  It always does.”

“Well, see you later.  Keep me
posted on Max, and I’ll let you know about Lee.  Somehow, I think I will be the
one with more to tell...Max always lets me down.”

As I waved goodbye to Olivia, I
couldn’t stop thinking that it was me he always let down.

Brad called later to ask why I
had left so abruptly the night before.  We chatted for about an hour, and I
told him about Olivia’s new romance with Lee.  Brad told me I sounded blue, and
he wanted to come over.  I convinced him that I was fine, and I let him think I
had plans for the rest of the weekend.  After we hung up, I noticed that I
was
feeling blue, and I decided to get out of the house.

I almost got into my car, but I
changed my mind when I realized that I would probably drive back to my old
neighborhood.  I decided to take a walk instead.  My niece Bridgett lived about
a mile away from me, so I thought I might pay her a visit.

The dogwoods were in full bloom,
and almost every house had at least one growing in the yard.  Most of them were
white, but occasionally I would glimpse a pink one.  They reminded me of my
mother who had several dogwoods in her yard.  Perhaps I would look in on her
later.  Even though we talked on the phone every day, I hadn’t seen her in
weeks.  This was her favorite time of year, and she would be outside planting
her small garden and a variety of flowers.  I definitely needed to go see her.

Bridgett’s small white house was
in view, and I could see through the chain link fence that Ginger, her two-year
old, was playing in the front yard.  Bridgett was sitting on the front porch
swing with little Brucie, her youngest, on her lap.  She stood up and waved as
she saw me approaching.  Brucie climbed down her leg and scurried out into the
yard.  He wasn’t even crawling the last time I visited.  I felt ashamed that I
didn’t drop by more often, especially when they lived so close to me.

Bridgett was updating me on all
the family gossip.  She had heard from her little brother Carl.  Carl would
soon be graduating from a small college in Virginia.  Bridgett never could get
the name of the school straight, so I didn’t bother to ask today.  She was very
excited that Carl was going to get his degree, and she was sure he’d go on to
become the president of Wal-Mart or something.  I didn’t bother Bridgett with
the details of how someone actually gets to be in charge of Wal-Mart and other
large companies.  She was proud of her brother and I didn’t want to spoil
that.  Heck, I was proud of him too.

A lot of things had happened with
my brother’s family after they moved away from my parents’ home and became
independent.  A year after Carl was born, Rebecca lost a set of twins.  She was
devastated and she soon turned to alcohol hoping it would relieve her pain. 
She eventually became an alcoholic, and my brother considered ending their
marriage.  Losing Rick was a sobering thought for Rebecca, and she gave up
alcohol and started attending AA meetings.  Their marriage seemed stronger than
ever, but around the time Carl turned seven, Rick asked Rebecca for a divorce. 
He told my parents that Rebecca had become involved with several men around the
Navy base, and he just couldn’t stand the ridicule any longer.  Rick allowed
Rebecca to keep custody of Bridgett and Carl even though everyone else thought
it was a bad idea.  Rebecca started drinking again and staying out late every
night.  One night she left the kids with a neighbor, and then she just
disappeared.  She never came back and no one, not even her mother, was ever
able to locate her again.

A couple of years after that,
Rick married a woman named Sharon.  Sharon had a daughter, Betsy, who was the
same age as Carl.  Sharon was a godsend.  She became the mother Bridgett and Carl
never had.  She loved them as dearly as she loved Betsy. 

In time, Bridgett had met and
married Kip Carter.  Kip was a personable young man even if he wasn’t extremely
handsome.  Kip’s father owned a shrimp boat, the Mary-Kate, and Kip was a
deckhand.  As an only son, one day Kip would own the boat, but for now he made
a good living for his family.  Kip and Bridgett had three children, the aforementioned
Ginger and Brucie, as well as a five year old boy named Richard, named for my
brother Rick.

Bridgett spoke fondly of her mom
and dad.  Rick was now retired from the Navy, and he and Sharon were living in
Colorado Springs.  Rick had found a job with a military contractor there, and
they had decided to make Colorado their home.  I knew Bridgett missed them, but
she was overjoyed that her dad was finally enjoying life after so many years of
grief.

Betsy, Bridgett’s step-sister,
was also living in Colorado Springs.  She was attending a community college and
hoping to become a teacher.  She and Bridgett kept in touch, but Betsy was much
closer to Carl than she was to Bridgett.

Bridgett never mentioned
Rebecca.  No one had seen or heard from her in so many years that it was easy
for me to completely forget about her.  But I knew that deep-down, Bridgett and
Carl still thought about Rebecca and wondered what had happened to her.  She
was their mother after all.

After playing with Richard and
Ginger for a while and holding Brucie as long as he would let me, I told Bridgett
that I should go.  I told her to go visit Grammy – my mom – whenever she could,
and I promised to drop by more often.  She reminded me that Ginger would be
turning three in only two weeks, and I told her I would stop in for the party. 
We hugged and said goodbye, and I began the walk back to my apartment.

Coming into my apartment complex,
I noticed Olivia’s red Cavalier parked next to my Accord.  I turned towards the
apartment building, and Olivia was walking towards me.  It was more of a run
than a walk.

“Get in the car!” she yelled. 

I gave her a bewildered look. 
“What?”

“Get in my car,” her voice was
commanding.  “Hurry up.”

Obediently, I opened the
passenger door and got inside.  Olivia hopped into the other seat.

“What’s the hurry?” I asked.  Olivia
started the car and backed up.  The tires were squealing as we sped out of the
parking lot.

“The drawing is at noon.  I just
know we’re gonna miss it.  I forgot all about it until an hour ago.  You can’t
win if you aren’t present.”  Olivia was hysterical, and I had no idea what she
was ranting about.

“What drawing?  Why do I need to
go?”

“I entered your name.  One of us
has to win.”

“Could you please explain?  I had
plans...Where are we going, and what are we going to win?”

“Concert tickets – in the front
row.  Elton John.”

“What?  No way!  He’s not coming
here.”

“He’s coming to Biloxi.  We could
go over there – especially if we’re in the front row.  Anyway, the radio
station is giving tickets away at the Carpet Outlet.  We’re almost there – no
thanks to you.”  I didn’t understand why this excited Olivia so much.  She
didn’t even like Elton John.

We made it to the Carpet Outlet
with time to spare.  There was a huge crowd, but we managed to find a parking
spot.  Olivia pulled out our ticket stubs and prepared to win.  I wasn’t quite
so optimistic– my luck never ran smoothly.

Finally, a man approached the
microphone with a ticket in his hand.  “I have the winning ticket right here. 
This is for the upcoming Elton John concert in Biloxi.  The winner and three of
his or her friends will ride to Biloxi in a stretch limo, dine at the four-star
rated Blue Beard’s Oyster Bar and Restaurant, be seated on the front row during
the concert, and go backstage to meet the incomparable Elton.  And the winner
is...Harvey Daniels who lives on Florida Street.  Congratulations Harvey!  And
thanks to everyone else who entered...”

Olivia turned to face me;
disappointment was all over her face.  “I’m sorry, Kat.  I wanted to win those
tickets for you.  I know how much you love Elton.”

Olivia’s thoughtfulness touched
me.  “Thanks, Olivia.  That’s the nicest thing anyone has ever tried to do for
me.  You’re a good friend.”

Olivia dropped me off next to my
car.  I watched her drive away as I sat on my hood trying to think.  There was a
time in my life when I only had two dreams.  One was a life with Max.  The
other one was really an alternative dream, in case I couldn’t get Max.  That
dream was about Elton John.  Twenty some years later, I knew I could never
tempt Elton, and my chances were almost just as meager with Max.  The only
difference – and it was a difference that worked in my favor – was that Max did
like women.  But in the real world, I had about as much chance with Max as I
did converting Elton to heterosexuality. 

I got into my car and headed
towards Mom’s house.  She still lived in the old neighborhood, and I knew I
would drive by Max’s old house before going home.  Daddy had been dead for
twelve years now, but it was still hard to go home without missing him.  Mom
was out in her garden with her straw hat on, and she looked just the same as
always – just like when I was a child.  I tooted the car horn, and Mom looked
up and started waving.  She was to the fence gate before I could get out of the
car.

“Katrina!  You surprised me.  I
didn’t know you were coming by today.  I’ve been planting some cabbage, and my
potatoes are already up.  We’ll be having fresh vegetables before you know it.”

We sat out under her oak tree,
and I listened to her talk about her garden and her sewing circle.  Mom stayed
active, and she was in good health because of it.  She spoke of my brother, Carl,
and Bridgett.  My Aunt Jane who recently had a massive heart attack was doing
well after her bypass surgery.  Her husband, Uncle Dean, had quit smoking after
forty-five years.  My Uncle J. D. was at odds with his daughter Sandra.  Uncle
J. D. was always at odds with someone.  My Aunt Sue was still living in Washington,
although she planned to move back home when she retired.

When she caught me up on all the
relatives, Mom started singing that old familiar tune.

“When are you going to settle
down, Kat?  Rick and his family are all settled and doing well.  You need to
find a good man and have a bunch of kids.  Then I wouldn’t have to worry about
either of my children.”

“Mom, do we have to go down this
road every time I come over?  I want to meet someone – really I do.  I can’t
promise you any grandkids though.  You have Bridgett, Carl, and Betsy.  And now
there’s Ginger, Richard, and Brucie.  I know you love those kids.  And they
live so close you must see them all the time.”

“I do,” she sighed, “But what I
really want is for you to be happy.  I just associate happiness with a family. 
My children were my only source of happiness.  If you don’t want children, at
least meet a nice man.  For a while, you were fairly happy with Ben.  I want
that for you again.”