BOMAW Vol. 10-12 (124 page)

"I can't stand it - the thought of you being disappointed in me - I just can't."

He only mumbled in reply.

"I just need to think about things a bit more, talk to him a bit more - to be sure."

"And how long is that gonna take? Year, two? In the meantime, he'll be laying up while you make up your mind."

"No, won't take that long - I promise. I just need to be sure."

He grunted again, continuing on, not looking her way. She stepped into the room, walking up beside him, "Okay daddy?"

He looked up into her eyes, his own fiery, and said simply, "You're no common, white trash - don't let this new, modern world, turn you into one - you hear me?"

She nodded, tears rolling down her face, feeling like a little girl again, even though she was in her early thirties. He reached up and wiped her eyes, "Stop that crying now, and go over there pass me them box of fittings." He ordered.

"Okay daddy, I'll stay and help you, okay?"

"I suppose that'll be fine."

She picked up the box and brought it to him, "What about the other stuff I told you daddy? About Shawn?"

"You leave that with me, I'll get a hold of your brother - don't you worry."

*

Chicago

Sheila was bringing in groceries, her boys helping her when she noticed a man parked behind her, getting out of his car, and looking her way. The last bag was taken in leaving her to lock up her van, but she didn't take her eyes off of him because she was certain, she knew him, but couldn't be sure, it had been so long. To her relief, it was him that put her mind at ease giving her more than a clue.

"Sheila Johnson, that you? Woman look at you, still cute, healthy and fine as ever!"

Sheila smiled brightly, "Lucas Henry Jr?"

"In the flesh baby - whass up? How you doin'?"

"Oh my goodness, as I live and breathe, talk about long time no see!"

"That's terrible ain't it?"

"You said it, not me - which tells me, you know better. Come on in this house - 'cause I wanna know where you been, and what your butt been up to."

Lucas followed Sheila inside as she requested, looking around the clean, brightly decorated home. She introduced her boys to him, and then told him to have a seat so she could put her refrigerator and freezer goods away. He stood patiently in her living room as her boys helped her and then begged to go downstairs to their favorite past time, video games, they had a new one.

"Go on, no fighting, or else I gone make you turn it off." She warned as they ran down the stairs, "Stop running down them stairs, one of you gone break your arm again!" She slammed the door behind them and turned to Lucas with a bright smile. "Well look at you."

"Look at you, and look at your home, you have a nice place here, you and Dennis - so I guess things are pretty much, happily ever after, for you two huh?"

"I thank the Lord often for being one of the lucky ones. Now, let's get past this polite stuff, what's going on with you? Why did you disappear off the face of the earth?" Sheila asked straight at it. As a young girl, she'd had a big crush on him, couldn't sit in the same room with him without giving him the doe eyes, of course it never went anywhere and then she went to high school and met Dennis. It was all over after that.

"Been on the road, traveling around, performing here and there."

"Really? How so, doing what?"

"Jazz musician - playing mostly along the west coat, clubbin' everywhere we can, got three albums out - not doing too bad."

"Well look at you! Singin'? In a band?"

"I've got my own band, Lucas Henry's Take One, my albums are, First Take, Black Pearls and Sweet, Soft & Sexy, gonna have to pick'em up."

"You bet I will, and you gone have to stick around long enough to sign them."

"We'll see, we'll see. So uh, when was the last time you were in touch with my lil'sister?"

"Just the other week, we still buddies."

"That's great, that's great - how she doin'?"

"Fantastic! She done got married again, a baby on the way."

"I see, shame - I was looking for a lead singer - we lost the one we had to some unfortunate circumstances."

"You came too late, she would have been perfect! No chance of her going off to do anything like that now."

"So uh, who is this new man she hooked up with?"

"Shawn Everett McPherson, is his name."

"Mc - Pherson?"

"Yep, that's his name."

"Where she meet him?"

"He lived right across the road from her."

"I see, I see, what is he like?"

"Nice - he takes good care of her - which is what she deserves, it's about time too."

"Hmmm, so you think he'd be okay if she had a singing career, maybe traveled with us to perform?"

"Oh no no no, I don't see that one - em um, you can forget that - he is far too possessive of her - this man is in love with your lil'sister, ain't no way in hell he gone be letting her travel up and down no highway, and uh, have you forgotten, she's pregnant."

"Damn! I can't believe it! How long she been married to him?"

"Early this summer, first of May - and she ain't going no where, less it be with him, I can tell you that now. They out of town now in fact, be back Monday."

"This Monday?"

"Yep."

"Shit! I need her voice for my band man, she got that something you know, the right music, the right songs, the combination would be dynamite!"

"You sho'right, but you too late! Like I say, I don't see him even considering it."

"What does he do? She done hooked up with one of these insecure Negro's again, she can't even take a shit 'fore him askin' what's that smell?"

Sheila laughed shaking her head, "Nooo not this time, well - he might be a bit on the insecure side, but - he ain't no Negro, he a photographer, does art stuff for people, book covers, advertising and all that, getting ready to open his own photography studio."

"What you mean he ain't no Negro? Mexican? 'Nother Puerto Rican?"

"He white." She stated simply.

"He - what? Come again?"

"White."

"As in Albino white?"

"Nooo, as in the kind of white that come in Irish, German, Polish - Andy Griffith white."

"You gots to be kiddin' me! My little sister, married to a goddamn cracka'?"

"Okay, first let's chill on that, okay? I ain't raising my boys like that, all right - enough of that, okay?"

"Come on, not you too. Ain't nothing better for a black woman, than a good black man."

"Which as time goes by, we are finding them to be fewer, and far between, okay - let's not even go there."

"Oh we gone go there, we got to go there-..."

"Look, she had one okay, and we both know how that turned out."

"Hey, as you say - a sista' need to be a bit more selective, all right? Can't hook up with the first one that steps into your face, that's what she did, that's why she got what she got."

"Oooh-wee, we need to stop right here, you ruinin' this - you 'bout to make this visit all wrong! You stepped yo'end off to college and never looked back, came home every now and then - after the fact, instead of being there for her, knowing she had little family else, besides me! No no no no, for all the shit she went through with that nigga' - you can't stand up in my house and talk to me about no shit like this, you done forgot who the hell Sheila is! And to think, I had a crush on yo'ass too - no no no-no no no no - uh uh - sorry - you don' loss me - so either, you gonna have to lighten up, or have nice day."

"It's gone be like that huh?"

"In this house, yes it is. Because that man, is good to her! He loves her! He treats her the way every woman yearns to be treated, cherished and adored. A damn better father to her kids, than that so-and-so she was married to before. I've met him, went to the wedding, gave them my blessings, Dennis has met him, loves him, his whole damn family in fact. So all this stuff you rattlin' about - fallin' on deaf ears."

"White man ain't the only one know how to treat his woman!"

"Who you tellin' that too? I know that! But a black man like mine, for the black woman; like winning the lottery now days baby, like winning the lottery. Lucky lucky lucky, that's me! But I know people been playing the lottery all they goddamn life, in they 60's and still ain't won a damn thing! I got things to do, anything else you want?"

He stood about to say more, but changed his mind, instead asked, "Just gimme' her address and phone number, and I'll be out of your hair."

Sheila walked to the door, opened and said in a way that only she could, "Look it up in the phone book! I will not be a contributor of more drama in her life. Good day!"

"See that, see how you are? That's an example right there of why black women, can't find a good black man."

"No no no baby, that's not the problem, the problem is - that we - black women, have bigger balls than most black men! Can't be a man without balls baby, gotta have balls, it's not always about the dick! Now slide your ass on out'ah here!"

*

L. A. Condo...

Determined to stay out of things, Sylvia lounged on the sofa in the family room watching movies with her grandsons, who lay on the floor with Mundo. Thing was, all three were sleeping. In the other room, the kitchen, she could hear the low murmurs of Crystal and Ben. He was helping her set up her computer, install the software, get it registered, and trying it out. Showing her all of the goodies within that she might miss being unfamiliar with it. They also used her new digital camera, taking pictures around the condo. Taking pictures of the boys, Mundo, her - and even slipped in a picture of the two of them together, which she went on and took, while it was against her better judgment - she could not fault either of them. If things were different, if there had been no previous marriage with Victor, and two little boys belonging to him, she would be all for Ben in her daughter's life. Because there was no if's ands or buts about it - he did have that extra something, that she hadn't noticed in Victor. And if truth were admitted fully, she didn't really know Victor all that well. From the things her daughter had been telling her little by little, she was no longer so sure about him. All that she was certain of, is that it was best to be alone for a spell.

In the kitchen, Crystal sat in the chair, with Ben leaning over her showing her how to use the Photoshop software.

"Why does this have to be so complicated? Good grief! I'll never remember everything you've shown me." She commented.

"Truth is, you can't learn everything in one night. You should pick one thing you'd like to do, and work on that until you get it and all the ways it can be done, then move onto something else. I have a lot of great tutorials on my computer, links and stuff to sites that will help you a lot. When I get home, I'll send them to you."

"You can do it now, not like we're going anywhere - we're both on wireless - go get on yours. I'll open up my Yahoo - so we can chat." She grinned up at him.

"I can't - um, I'm going home. I should be packing now."

That got her full attention, she spun away from her laptop to face him as he stood away from her.

"What? Going home? When?"

Ben exhaled deep, "I ah, booked a late flight back, for tonight - I've been holding off packing because I'm waiting on Shawn to get back with Angela, to say thanks and goodbye, until you all get home that is."

"That's crazy, why?!" Crystal could not explain the crazy beating of her heart all of a sudden, and refused to think about it.

He looked towards the family room, which was through a wide arched doorway, "Come with me upstairs, while I pack?"

"I'll come with you upstairs, but you're not packing and going anywhere!" She bossed, he smiled and let her lead the way, her march forward was as much as needing to get him alone to tell him off. Funny how when you realized that you loved someone, little things about them added to that. He followed her gladly up the stairs and into the room he shared with Mundo and the boys.

Inside the room, she waited for him to come in and then closed the door, turned and faced him. "What is this about you going home now? That's ridiculous! There's only a few more days before we all go - why not wait until then?"

He stared into her eyes, deep into them, from the few feet that separated them, his eyes almost said it loud and clear that he wanted to make love to her, they couldn't hide it, and he wasn't interested in trying to, he figured that he would just about give anything to make love to her, and because that was out of the question, he needed to get away from her, he needed some distance, because he was constantly fighting touching her, wanting to look into her eyes as he was right then, "I don't want to wait," He finally looked away, walking to the closet to bring his case down to pack it.

It took Crystal a few moments to recover from the look in his eyes, "Please wait - please go back with us." She finally got out.

He turned to her, a bit gruff, but so beit, "You know what Crystal, you aren't the only one here that needs to do things for yourself. I need to do some things for me, one of them, getting as far away from you as I can right now. I've got your mother giving me the eye! I've got Shawn advising me, cautioning me! And I've got you prancing around me, daring me to touch you, to reach out and - see - I accept things, honest I do. I understand where you stand and why you must remain there, but me - I'm just a man, there is nothing special about me Crystal when it comes to something I want. I'm like any other, once my mind is set to the course, I can't think about anything else. If it were left up to me - we'd be in this bed right now - and oh lemme tell'yah - the things I've daydreamed of doing to you - I'd be trying to squeeze each and every one in."

"Why does it always have to lead to sex? Why can't we just enjoy one another's company?" She asked, her heart beating hard and yes - his words struck pay-dirt, because she was feeling a tingle that could not be denied.

He stood staring, and knew that his feelings weren't quite under control, because he had a semi-erection simply due to them being closed up in the bedroom together - with her, that's all it took. Crystal eye's couldn't help themselves, they flicked down to his crotch and got an eye full and back up. She actually blushed enough for it to show, just from the few glances here and there throughout there time together, she knew there was quite a bit of a difference between him and Victor - her heart was reacting once more, her blood was surging and her lower place was setting up a bit of a throb.