Broken (13 page)

She hesitates, “I don’t want to leave you out here. Want to come with me?”

Eric is watching me from the stage. He continues to wear the same
muddled expression. I can’t bear him looking at me right now. Especially, since I have concerns that he has feelings for Bree. “Yeah. When I hear the music stop, I’ll go to Eric’s room so you and Josh can have some privacy.”

“Kay. Thanks, Lena” Bree grabs my hand and begins to walk to the house. As we walk hand in hand, she looks at me in question, “Do you think I’m dumb for getting involved with Josh?”

I want to give her an honest answer. I think of the time I’ve spent with both of them and I answer based on my observations. “You and Josh are like two poles on a magnet. You both are really different, but I see the pull. Bree, you deserve to have the one guy that you can’t deny. You can’t deny Josh. I don’t think you are dumb at all. I think you are lucky. You’ve been blessed with a forgiving heart. Use it.”

She gives me a weak smile. “Thanks.”

***

I hear the music stop and I leave Bree waiting for Josh. I wait for Eric in his room. I don’t expect him for a
while because he has a house full of people. Using the time to think is driving me insane. My thoughts drift back to before I met Bree, Eric, and Josh. I wonder if my life was better. The insecure feelings I have now are tearing me up.

Eric’s door swings open. He slams the door and I jump. “What the fuck, Lena?”

“What?” I know what I’m doing. The game has just begun and it’s about to get ugly. “Shouldn’t you be in the yard? You still have people here.”

“Fuck them. My concern is you.”

“Is it?” I’m being coy.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Eric is angry. I don’t know if that scares me or excites me.

“I’m going to ask you a question. I want you to be honest with me.” Even if the reply hurts, I need to know.

Eric collapses on his bed.
He’s annoyed. “Ask away, Lena.”

The breath
leaves my body. His body language is just as tense as mine. I’m thinking of chickening out. “Do you have feelings for Bree?”

I’m under his death stare and now I’m petrified. I’m afraid I shut him down completely and I will never get him back. “You’re fucking kidding me, right?”

My hands are on my hips. I clench the black fabric at the base of my tank top. The room feels smaller and I’m finding it hard to breathe. In a small voice I answer, “No.”

The hurt I see in his eyes is killing me. It’s then I know I made a huge mistake. “Bree is Josh’s girl, Lena. You know that,” he huffs. “You think I’m that kind of friend, Lena? Seriously? I’ve told you fucking everything about me. Everything. I’ve held nothing back. You’ve given me nothing. And, I’m still fucking here,” he throws his hands in the air and sit
s up. “I’m still fucking here. Do I really need to explain to you what I feel for Bree? What I feel for you?”

I kneel in front of him. My head is down. He lifts my chin so my eyes meet his. “What do you feel for me?”

Eric sighs, “It’s not obvious? Then, I’m doing a piss poor job.” He cups my face, then tracing his fingers down my neck. Pulling me on top of him, his mouth crashes into mine. I melt into him. He tastes like salt and spice.

My mouth opens, willingly allowing his tongue dig deeper into my
mouth. His hands move to my ass, cupping me, bringing my pelvic area close to his. I arch into him feeling how I affect him. The fire within me wants to take over. Eric pulls himself from me. He flips me over onto my back, pressing against me. His mouth finds mine again. He lifts my legs so they clamp around him.

Pushing my tank above my head, he buries his face between my bra
-covered breasts. Kissing and sucking my breasts through the fabric of my bra, he growls. I reach behind my back to remove it because I need to feel his mouth on me. He lifts, allowing me to throw my bra to the floor. Without hesitation, his mouth covers my nipple, licking and sucking desperately. The need for air is overwhelming. I gasp my way through the ecstasy Eric is providing me.

His mouth slides from the middle of my chest up to my neck. Sucking the skin between my ear and the crook of my neck, he begins to lose control. “Fuck, Lena. Fuck.”

My hands begin to pull at his shirt. He freezes, “Don’t take my shirt off.”

I’m almost clawing at him. “Why?”

He rolls off of me, still panting. “Just don’t. I’m not ready for you to see what’s under there.” Shame shows on his face.

I’m not going to push him. As much as I want to comfort him and kiss away whatever he is hiding, I would be a hypocrite. I’m still hiding my scars. Yeah, you can’t see them, but they are there. “Come back to me. Please.”

He lies next to me and I yank him towards me. My lips seize his. His mouth falls open allowing my tongue to intertwine with his. I pull away. Sighing, he says, “You’re cruel. What are you up to now?” I rotate my body so I’m on top of him straddling his waist. Eric runs his hands over my breasts sliding his thumbs over my nipples. I let out a drawn out moan. “Shit. This is going to be hard.”

Feeling playful, I tease, “Going to be hard?”
God, he feels so good beneath me.

A lazy grin spreads across his face. “
Cute. Real…cute.” He tugs at my waist bringing me to his chest, slipping his hands behind my back. His fingers glide up and down my naked skin. His touch ignites a fire in me that I’m having a hard time ignoring.

I lean my head in touching my forehead to his. “What are we doing, Eric?”
I wish he would tell me what to do. Hell, I wish he would order me to get past my trust issues so I could claim him as mine.

             
He exhales slowly. “Lena, as much as I hate to say this, it needs to be said. You have so many damn walls built up around your heart. Every time I knock a wall down, you rebuild. The new wall is harder to break through. I’m trying to be the knight in armor. I’m getting my ass kicked by every defense you have.”

             
“You don’t understand. My last knight in shining armor was a fucktard in tin foil. Wait…I think you screwed that up. It’s ‘Knight in Shining Armor’.” I give him a tidbit of what Levi did to me. Levi pretended to love me. I couldn’t stand it if Eric does that to me.

             
He tries to contain his laughter by giving a throaty laugh. Then, his facial expression changes from amused to serious. “The way I look at it…if his armor is still shiny…then he didn’t fight hard enough. Keep pushing me away, Lena. It just makes me want to pull you closer.”

             
My heart flutters in my chest. All of these years I’ve acted like I don’t have one. Honestly, I thought my heart shriveled up and died. As Eric climbs over the walls I’ve built, I feel it come back to life.

***

ERIC

Some asshole taught Lena to close herself off from anyone who cares for her. I’ll be damned if she ever feels that way again. I will fight away every fear, insecurity, and doubt she has formed in her head.

As she digests everything I’ve said to her, I kiss her lips softly and whisper, “Trust me.”

She kisses me back rougher and
wilder than she had before. It’s making my insides churn for something more. I’m not going to have sex with her. I know it’s too soon for that. I want to know her…all of her…before I’m inside of her. Damn it. It’s not going to be easy. I have to have some of her, any of her.

I flip her onto her back giving her a quick kiss on her lips. My lips
trace a path down the middle of her chest stopping briefly to give a quick suck on each breast. Lena arches into me while letting out a whimpering sound. Grinning into her skin, I continue down my pathway detouring to her belly button. My tongue gives the area a swirl, toying with her. “Eric? Please…I need this. I need you,” she puffs out as much air as she can.

Enjoying torturing her with my tongue is a blast. My hands claw at her jeans ripping them and her underwear from her body. I’ve seen many beautiful bodies in my life. Lena’s body is un-fucking-believable. “You’re beautiful, Lena. Breathtaking.” I can’t seem to form full sentences.

My mouth returns to her tummy, sucking and gently biting. Her hips are getting restless. I prod her legs apart with my hands. My head dips down and I give her a quick lick…there. Little moans and pants leave her mouth and urge me to take a second lick. This time, her hips buck up pushing my tongue farther into her. The power of making her feel like this is maddening. Her fingers lace through my hair, and she is begging me to lick her again. So, I do. This time, Lena lets out a long rumbling sound of ecstasy.

With each pull of my hair, I brush over that sensitive spot over and over again. Hearing Lena climb and climb to overwhelming
pleasure is too much. I almost blow my load. I spread her legs farther and farther apart. She sucks in a deep breath and I can tell she is close. Writhing and moaning, she begs me to finish her off. “Eric, I need to come…like now.”

             
With that plea, I stick two fingers inside of her, pumping quickly. Lena takes it…actually welcomes it. Within seconds, Lena is exploding and screaming my name. It’s the sweetest sound I have ever heard.

             
When she comes back down, I lay my head on her tummy, listening to her catch her breath. “How did I do?”

             
She laughs, “I’m pretty sure you can tell you passed with flying colors.”

             
“Good. I’d be disappointed if I failed that test.” I play along.

             
Lifting my head up with her hands, she makes me look at her. “It’s my turn to take the test.”

             
“Lena, I didn’t do it so you can get me off. I did it for you.”

             
With a wicked grin, she announces, “This is for me too, Eric.”

             
Within two seconds, I’m on my back and Lena’s mouth his headed south. This is turning out to be a pretty good night.

***

I’m not going to lie. The last few weeks have been pure hell. Lena and I have become closer and closer, which is great. She’s the one good thing I have going. But, Josh’s life is complicated. Bree’s ex-boyfriend started fucking with her by crank calling her. Lena, Josh, and I are all taking turns making sure Bree is safe by taking shifts watching her.

             
Josh is going through some shit. I know what it is. He’s petrified something is going to happen to Bree. I remember that feeling when I was with Lindsay. It’s like you have no control over whether or not someone lives or dies. You wish you could give up your own life so the person you love could be free. I’m really worried about my brother.

             
These abusive bastards know how to play games. They taunt you by sending inconspicuous messages, staying under the radar. For example, Bree getting crank calls a couple times a day. Then, the bastard sends his current girlfriend, Sofie to Bree’s house. Sofie wants Bree to stop complaining to the police about the phone calls. Don’t worry. Bree and I set that bitch straight.

             
To make matters worse, I’ve noticed Josh drinking more. One night he got so drunk, he accused me of messing around with Bree. We fought. It was a knock down, drag out, breaking furniture kind of fight. Josh bruised my rib by throwing a chair at me. We settled our differences, but I know he is struggling. Bree’s keeping him straight for now.

             
All the while, I’m still trying to get Lena to open up to me. She hasn’t. Whatever secret she has is locked up tight. Therefore, the no-sex rule is still in effect. Sure, we play around but I won’t make her mine until I know everything.

             
To blow off some steam, we decide to throw a yard concert. We haven’t had one in awhile because of all of the shit going down with Bree. Lena and Bree pushed Josh and me to do this tonight. Josh seems happy tonight, but I know the underlying worry is still there.

             
Lena is fixing her make-up when I walk into my bedroom. “Have you seen Josh? I need to put a tracker on that bitch.”

             
Lena cocks her eyebrow, “Where do you think he is? I swear those two are like rabbits.” She is referring to Bree and Josh having sex all of the time.

             
I chuckle to myself. It’s pretty bad. So bad, I’ve been staying at Lena’s apartment. Staying with her is like putting myself in a sexual, torture chamber. The ‘good boy’ stance is wearing thin. Nevertheless, I’m a stubborn bastard. I want all of Lena, not just a piece of her ass.

             
Lena breaks through my thoughts by sitting on my lap. “What’s on the playlist?”

             
“A little Taking Back Sunday, Dashboard, and Limp Bizkit.”

             
Her lips meet mine to give me a quick peck. “Can’t wait to hear you play again.” I stare into the pools of her blue eyes. I’m getting lost in her. I feel it. “What’s wrong?”

             
“They say your eyes are a window to your soul. I was just at your windowsill trying to get a sneak peek.” I drop my head so she can’t look into my eyes. “I need you, Lena. All of you.”

             
She lifts my head with the tips of her fingers. “After the show, I want to tell you. Everything.” There are tears behind her eyes. There’s fright in her voice.

             
My lips press to hers. “No matter what you tell me, I am here. I’m not going anywhere.”

             
A tear slips down her face. I wipe it away with my thumb. She smirks a little. Pretending like she is checking me out, she says, “I think this knight has had his ass kicked way too many times.”

             
Tell me about it.

***

The yard is
swarming with half-dressed girls and dudes looking to get laid.  Paperless Story drew a decent crowd tonight, considering we haven’t played in a few weeks. It feels good being back on stage. The stage is the one place where there’s no pain and no worries. I fucking love it. Better yet, there’s Lena watching me do what I do best…playing music.

             
Every now and again, her eyes meet mine. It makes me want to jump from the stage and ravage her. Her walls are crumbling to the ground. It took long enough. She is worth the wait.

             
We’re in the middle of Break Stuff by Limp Bizkit and Josh is missing chords here and there. He never misses a beat. Never. Something is wrong. I frown at him, “What the fuck?” I mouth.

             
He answers back, “Bree.” My head swings back to Lena. Her expression has changed dramatically. Her eyes keep flitting from me to back door of the fence. She’s picking at her nail polish. She’s anxious.

             
“Fuck.” I hear Josh in the Mic telling the crowd that we’re taking a break.

             
Within seconds, Josh and I are running across the street. The first gunshot rings through the night air. Josh almost falls to the ground. “Keep going. We got to get to her,” I yell. Time is everything.

             
Josh busts through the front door and runs to Bree who is lying on the floor. Sofie is standing over a body with a gun in her hand. I rush behind her to take the gun. She immediately collapses into my arms. As she sobs, she chants over and over again that she is sorry.

             
I hold her in my arms, “It’s okay. It’s over. Sofie…it’s over.” I caress her head. She’s a fucking mess. I don’t blame her. It doesn’t look good for Bree’s ex-boyfriend. There’s fucking blood everywhere.

             
Josh shouts out, “Call 911.” He’s not asking me to call for the ex. I look at Bree and she is grimacing in pain. I whip my phone out and dial. Within minutes I hear sirens.

             
Lena pummels through the door. Damn, I forgot she was behind us. She probably stopped following when she heard the gunshots. Her blue eyes are wide taking in the scene. She begins to scream.

             
I’m still holding a sobbing Sofie and a gun. “Lena, calm down, baby. Help Bree and Josh. We need you.”

             
Her friend lying on the floor, in pain, has snapped her out of it. She stumbles toward Josh asking what she can do.

             
The sirens are getting closer. All I can think of is that night with my dad and the bat. Funny, I never thought I’d feel that way again. Life has a shitty way of coming back full circle.

***