Catch My Fall (20 page)

The closer we got
to his house the calmer I felt.  By the time we pulled into the driveway, all I could think about was seeing his face.  I jumped out of the car before Darby had it in park and I ran up the sidewalk and through the front door as fast as I’ve ever run anywhere.  My heart started beating again as soon as I saw him pacing the length of the living room, and after dropping my overnight bag I ran to him and jumped up onto him, giving him no choice but to wrap his arms around me to hold me steady.

“I choose you, Stan.  I CHOOSE YOU.  I can handle anything as long as you’re here to catch me.  Don’t you ever run from me again, and don’t you ever say that you’re not good enough for me.  You saved me, Tristan Chamberlain.  Because of YOU, I’m living again.  I won’t give you up
, you stubborn ass!”

Setting me down on my feet he looked at me like I was going crazy.  “Why would you ever choose s
omeone like me after you were assaulted by someone who’s just like my father? How can you look at me knowing what I came from?  I’m a mistake!”

Slapping my hand over his mouth I snapped, “Don’t
ever
fucking say that again.  The people who told you that should be beaten.  You’re beautiful and you’re more compassionate than anyone I’ve ever known.  Your being in the world makes it a better place. My dad is a sorry piece of shit who hates me for being born and doesn’t care that I was sexually assaulted.  Do you think the fact that he’s a horrific human being reflects on me?”

“What? No! Of course not!”

“Then why would you think that your biological father reflects on you?  I can tell you right now that you’re nothing like him.  He and my father can have lunch together in hell someday as far as I’m concerned.  But they are NOT going to ruin what you and I have.  I choose you, Tristan.  I choose you because I. Love. You.  I love you and I’m honored to be your girlfriend.  I’m proud of who you are as a person and I love every part of what makes you the man that you are.  You made me believe in love for the first time in my life.  Don’t take that away from me, Stan.  I can’t lose you.”

His chocolate eyes were swimming with tears as he stared at me in shock.  “You love me?”

Grabbing his face in my hands I looked him straight in the eye.  “Yes, I love you.”

“But… why?”

“Because I’m safe with you, because you taught me how to fight for myself, because you have never once pressured me to go farther than I wanted to, because when you look at me I go weak in the knees, because when I kiss you I can feel my heart beating in my toes, because you make me laugh, because you’re smart, because you’re so gorgeous that my eyes can’t look away, because every single time I think about you I get butterflies, because you stopped my downward spiral, because you melt my brain… but mostly, I love you because you’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met and every second that I spend with you is a gift.”

He hugged me so fast and so hard that
I let out a whoosh of breath. “I love you too… I love you so fucking much.  Are you sure about this?”

“I’m more than sure.  Don’t ask me again, it’s insulting.  You’re acting like I’m too simple to understand what’s going on.  I’ve been in love with you since the day you put that first bowl of popcorn down on the table, I just didn’t want to admit it in case you didn’t feel the same way.”

“Baby, I never made the popcorn for anyone else.  I knew that I was in love with you the very first time I kissed you, but I knew you were special the first day I met you. I was so desperate to get you to talk to me I blew off my second class and followed you to the cafeteria.”

It’s pretty much the only thing he could have said right then that would shock me and make me laugh like a lunatic.  “Oh my God! That’s why you went to the cafeteria that day?”

“Yep.  I’m not kidding when I tell you that the very first time I saw you I immediately thought ‘There’s my girl’.  It was so goddamn weird and I wanted to run like hell in the opposite direction, only the next thing I knew I was bailing on class and following you to the cafeteria.  It doesn’t even make sense but all I can tell you is that I knew you were meant to be my girl.”

“Well,” I said with a breathy laugh, “Your girl packed a bag for several days.  It would appear that she’s a crazy bitch and she wants to spend a lot of time with you.  Are you okay with this?”

“I’m more than okay with it, Mimi.  I want you with me all of the time… as long as you don’t start referring to yourself in the third person.  Barring that, I’m cool with you packing all of your shit and bringing it over.  You’re snuggly and I like it.”

“Glad to hear it.  Let’s go tell Trace and Darby that everything is okay.  She was a nervous wreck the entire way here.  After that, it would be great if we could crawl into bed and snuggle.  It’s been a hell of a day.”

We held hands as we walked through the kitchen and into the backyard, but I stopped short when I saw that Trace was sitting in a lounge chair with no shirt on and Darby was on top of him sans shirt with her skirt pulled up and her head thrown back.  It didn’t take a brain surgeon to figure out that they were having sex, and the sound of Trace moaning that she felt like heaven pretty much sewed up any doubt that I might have had.  Tristan and I beat a hasty retreat back into the house and into his bedroom.

Digging around in my bag I let out a laugh.  “Well, I packed more shit than I thought but apparently pajamas weren’t on my mind.  Can I borrow one of your t-shirts?”

Opening a drawer, he gestured to it.  “Baby, you take anything you want.”

I grabbed the t-shirt that was on top, a royal blue cotton American Eagle shirt that I changed into right in front of him.  He watched me as I stripped down to my panties and I drank up the look on his face because, quite frankly, it was hot.

“Damn Mimi, you look good in my shirt.”

Twirling in a slow circle, I laughed.  “You just had a Keith Urban moment
, you know.”

“Great fuckin’ song.  I have a lot of really awesome moments with you, Mimi.”

I smiled as I climbed up onto his giant bed and fell back onto the pillows.  “I’m available to be snuggled with,” I laughed.

He peeled his clothes off in no time flat, wearing only his boxers as he got onto the bed next to me.  I curled up next to him and laid my head on his chest as I breathed him in.  He took my hand in his and traced a pattern on my palm quietly for a minute or so before he broke the silence.

“Darby said you didn’t know that your friend is pregnant.  How are you doing with that?”

I let out a sigh as I thought about how horrible the past nine months have been.  “I love Macy and I always will, no matter what. I will stand behind any decision that she makes about her baby.  I wish that she’d been honest with me, but I didn’t go through the trauma that she did so I can’t fully understand how she felt.  I was hurt at first, but I realize that it isn’t about me at all and it doesn’t mean that we aren’t still best friends.  I’m sad for her that she has to make such a big decision and a part of me feels responsible for that because she wouldn’t be in the position of having to choose if it weren’t for the fact that Brady wanted to hurt me...”

I heard his breath catch as I said that, and I wasn’t surprised when he cut me off.  “Baby, no.  You aren’t responsible at all.  Only Brady and his asshole friend are responsible for what happened to Macy.  Well, and your asshole father and Brady’s dumb bitch of a mother.  Those two raised a monster.  You were so much better off not having that asshole in your life once your parents got divorced.”

Letting go of his hand, I traced his abs with my index finger.  “Thank you for that, Stan.  I know that what you’re saying is true in the rational part of my head, but the more emotional part has always felt responsible for everything bad.  I’ve always felt like my mom would’ve had an easier life if she’d never gotten pregnant with me and I think I’ll always feel like I bear some responsibility for what happened with Macy.”

“But you don’t.  Of the two of you, Macy was more accountable for you being there that night but that doesn’t mean she bears any blame for what happened either.  Neither one of you is responsible for what those fuckers did.  As far as your mom goes, I’ve heard you talking to her plenty enough to know that she adores you and she wouldn’t change a thing.  You’re a blessing to her.  Don’t think of it any other way.”

“I guess the way we feel about ourselves is skewed by the things that shaped us. But, maybe
a lot of the things that happen can offer a silver lining somewhere. If my mom hadn’t gotten pregnant in high school, I might not have felt so strongly about keeping my virginity.  If I hadn’t been a virgin that night they would have raped me, too.  If your grandmother hadn’t made sure that your mom had you and Trace, I wouldn’t have found the one person in the world who was going to be able to open my heart up in the way that you have.  It’s a simplistic way of thinking I guess, and I don’t mean it to excuse all the evil in the world.  I’m just saying that sometimes fate works in mysterious ways.  Does that make sense?”

“It does.  I had never thought about it that way
...  It’s something to consider.”

We were silent as we both thought about it and before I knew it I was asleep.

Waking up this morning was brutal, mostly because I was suffering from an emotional hangover.  Opening my eyes, I found Tristan on his side watching me sleep.

“Morning, baby,” he said with a smile.

“How long have you been watching me sleep, weirdo?”

He chuckled as he reached his hand out and pushed a piece of hair off my forehead.  “I admit it, I’m totally weird for you.  Don’t worry; I haven’t been sitting here staring at you for hours.  I woke up a few minutes ago when my alarm went off and I’ve been watching you sleep because I was debating whether to wake you up or not.  I don’t know about you but I’m completely shit-kicked.  Wanna take a mental health day with me?”

It wasn’t even something I needed to debate about.  “Absolutely.  I’m exhausted.”

“Awesome.  Are we getting up or going back to sleep?”

Snuggling into his chest I draped my arm across his stomach and sighed contentedly.  “Back to sleep.”

Laughing drowsily he joined his hand with mine and mumbled, “That’s the choice I was pulling for.”

* * *

The next time I woke up I felt much, much better.  Tristan was still zonked out so I left him to it and went to take a shower.  I was gone for quite a whil
e
—
it takes a fair amount of time to shower and then dry and straighten my hai
r
—
but when I came back he was still out. Leaving him to sleep I went to the living room and with shaking hands sent a text off to Macy’s mom.

Me: I know that Macy’s pregnant.  I’m not upset that she kept it from me at all, but I
wanted you to know that I know.  Please tell her that I support her unconditionally and that I will stand by her side no matter what she chooses to do.

Mary: Oh honey… she wanted to tell you but she didn’t want to do it until she made her decision.  Did your father tell you?

Me: What? NO! How does he know?

Mary: He’s known for months.  He and the Winthorps are pushing hard for her to give the baby up for adoption… but I don’t want her to and I don’t really think she’s going to.  I’m going to see her later today.  I’ll talk to her and let her know that you know. She’s one centimeter dilated so she could go at any time.  Not sure if she’s going to want to talk to anyone before she has the bab
y
—
I’ll text you tomorrow and let you know.

Me: Tell her that I love her.

Mary: I promise that I will. 

I sat quietly for a while and thought about my best friend giving birth to a baby that had either Brady or Chad as its biological father. I don’t know what I would do in her position, and all I could do was pray that everything works out the way that it’s supposed to.

Pushing away those heavy thoughts, I headed back to Tristan’s room to see if he was awake yet.  He wasn’t and the only difference from when I left the room last was that his naked chest was now cuddled against the pillow that I slept with, and it was adorable.  Unable to let the moment pass without capturing it, I got my phone and snapped a few photos of him.  The sound of the pictures being snapped woke him up and he cracked open his eye and looked at me.  “Whatcha doin’ baby?”

Laughing softly, I climbed up onto the bed with him and bent forward to kiss him along his jawline.  “I saw this beautiful boy cuddling the pillow that I used last night and I had to take some pictures to preserve the moment.  You’re hot when you sleep, Stan.”

Chuckling sleepily, he sat up and pulled me onto his lap before burying his face in my hair.  “You smell fresh.  Shower?”

“Yep.  Not all of us are built to laze around all day.”

“Idea.  How about I take a shower and we go get something to eat?  I’m starving.”

The sound of my stomach growling was my answer, and we both cracked up.  After shifting me off his lap he walked across the room and grabbed a fresh pair of boxers out of his drawer before heading off to the bathroom.

After he was ready we went to Olive Garden for lunch.  He laughed as I recounted my first experience with Darby at the restaurant, eating clothes and all.  “Darbs is a fuckin’ trip, that’s for damn sure.  Did she tell you she’s on the wall at The Big Texas Steak Ranch?”

“No! For what?”

“The restaurant has a seventy-two ounce steak challenge and Darby saw that guy on
Man versus Food
do it.  The deal is you have to eat the steak, a salad, a roll with butter, a baked potato and shrimp cocktail in an hour, and you can’t leave a bite that isn’t fat on the plate.  Almost no one can do it, and most that attempt it fail.  They even sit a bucket next to you in case you puke while you’re trying.  That fuckin’ lunatic went in there and made that challenge her bitch.  Me, Austin and Trace did it with her and all three of us bombed out before we were even twenty ounces in.  She never lets us forget that she’s tougher than we are.”

“She’s so skinny!  Where the heck did she put seventy-two ounces of steak and all the extras?”

“Don’t let her size fool yo
u
—
Darby’s the fuckin Terminator.  You can’t ever tell her that I admitted this to you, but I’m pretty sure she could take me.  Austin, Trace and I were teaching her how to defend herself when she was just in Kindergarten and by the time she got to junior high I swear to God she was going easy on us.  Be glad that Darby’s on your tea
m
—
she’s an asset for sure.”

I laughed, half in astonishment and half in admiration.  “Believe me, I thank my lucky stars every single day that she’s my roommate.  I was so stressed out when the assignments were emailed out, and I was in a dead panic thinking that I’d get some crazy bitch.”

“You got a crazy one for sure, just the good kind of crazy.”

“Exactly!”

When we were finished our entrees, we ordered desserts.  It’s impossible to eat with Tristan without getting something sweet, and now that I know how he was raised, I get it. 

* * *

It’s nice to be at Tristan’s house and have Darby there again.  I talked to her for a while earlier in the backyard and she told me that she and Trace are blowing right past slow and have already made love again.  I kept a straight face and didn’t tell her that I knew that because I’d seen them.

The four of us spent a few hours paying a hardcore game of Scrabble, a game that we’re all apparently really serious about.  Trace won by fifteen points but it was okay because Darby, Tristan and I didn’t freak out at all… Even though we all demanded that a rematch take place in the very near future.

When it was time for bed Trace and Darby retired to Trace’s room and Tristan and I went to his bedroom.  Knowing full well that they were going to have sex I was thankful that Tristan and Trace’s house is a split ranc
h
—
Tristan’s bedroom on one side, Trace’s on the other. 

Tristan took a shower in the hall bath while I showered in the bathroom attached to his bedroom and when I came back into his bedroom I found him pulling a pair of boxers on.  His hair was still damp and he looked HOT.  I stopped and watched him for a few seconds as he completed the process, and I was like a deer in the headlights when he turned and saw me. I’m taking a leap of faith tonight because I love him and I want us to go all the way, and the only thing that I’m wearing right now is a pair of panties.

I saw him swallow nervously as he stared at me, and somehow seeing how affected he was gave me the courage I needed to peel my underwear off so that I was completely naked in front of him.

He made a choked sound of surprise as I stood up straight and looked at him as I crossed the room.  When I got to where he was standing I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him.  A few minutes later I pulled away breathlessly and smiled at him.  “I want to make love with you.”

“Are you sure that’s what you really want?”

I nodded firmly.  “I’m absolutely positive.”

He growled low in his throat as he put his hands on my ass and lifted me up.  “Fuck, Mimi.  I want you so fucking much.”

When he laid me down on the bed he came down over me and kissed me hot, wet and hard as I shivered and shifted beneath him.  Minutes later he began making his way down my body, licking and suckling until he came to the very center of me.  Looking up at me, he smiled wickedly.

“Pull a pillow over and prop your head up.  Then bend your knees and spread your legs.”

I made a breathless sound of anticipation as he complied.  Of all the things that I’ve been nervous about, this was the biggest one.  “Are you sure? You don’t have to,” I whispered.

“Oh, I’m fucking sure.  You have no idea how badly I want to taste you, Mia.  Believe me when I tell you that this isn’t a chore at all.  Watch me.”

It seemed like I was watching from another person’s body as he bent his head right over me.  The feeling of his breath against me was another out of body experience, and I blushed from head to toe when he leaned in, laid his nose against me, closed his eyes and inhaled.  I must have made a noise that let him know I was embarrassed because he opened his eyes and shook his head.  “Nothing to be embarrassed about, baby.  What I’m doing right now? I’ve been dying for it.”

Spreading me open a little bit with his thumb and forefinger, he looked up at me and said, “Don’t look away.”

I tried to keep my eyes open, but I lost the battle when he licked me in one hot, wet stroke.  I let out a gasp of shock as my head rolled back.  His tongue slowly dancing against me made me shiver and shake, and I could feel myself getting incredibly wet.

Lifting his head up he whispered, “Look at me, Mia.”

Looking down, I watched as he licked the inside of both of my thighs.  “You taste so good, Mimi.  Do you like my tongue?”

Whimpering helplessly, I nodded. 

“That’s good, because I just found something that I like better than candy.  You’re so sweet, Mia.  So. Fucking. Sweet.”

I cried out when he maintained eye contact and plunged his tongue inside of me, but I couldn’t keep my eyes open as he really got into it and started kissing my clit because I was losing my mind.  I whimpered helplessly as he worked his tongue against me and then I cried out when he slid a finger inside of me.  He left it that way for a few minutes before pulling out and gently adding another, and when he slid them both inside, sucked me into his mouth and swirled his tongue, I came with a little scream.

I was powerless to stop myself from sliding my fingers into his hair and holding him against me as he kept on going until I had nothing left.  When he was finished he kissed his way back up my body before he settled himself over me and began kissing me like he’d die if he didn’t.  I would have thought I’d be grossed out by the taste of myself, but I wasn’t at all. It wasn’t anything like I’d feare
d
—
I tasted clean mixed with a little salty and a little sweet, and that made me feel much better.

“Are you sure you want to do this, Mia?  You can say no, baby.”

“I want it more than ever now.  Please.”

Pulling away he stood up, took his boxers off and grabbed a condom from his bedside table.  I watched as he slid it over himself and made a mental note to self that I wanted to do it for him next time.  Coming back down over me, he kissed me again as his fingers went to work on me.  I clutched at his shoulders as he spread me open and rubbed my slippery wetness all over my clit, and I could feel that what he was doing was turning me on more and getting me wetter.

I was surprised when he wrapped his arm around me and rolled us over so that he was beneath me and I was on top.  Before I could ask why, he lifted his finger up and laid it over my mouth.  “Trust me.  Hold the tip of me in your hand and keep it pointed toward my belly button.  You’re going to slide back and forth on me for a few minutes to get yourself wetter.  I promise it will feel good.”

Positioning myself on my knees I did what he said and started sliding back and forth.  Immediately I understood why he’d suggested it, because I was acquainting myself with him and lubricating him at the same time, and it felt amazing.  Almost against my own will I started whimpering and rubbing faster, and he groaned beneath me.  “That’s right, Mia, get yourself ready.  It feels good to get all slippery on my dick, doesn’t it?”

“Oh God…”

Sliding his hands up my body he gently began pinching my nipples.  Arching my back, I cried out from the intense sensations.  “I think you’re almost there, Mimi.”

I nodded helplessly as he grabbed my waist and flipped me over so that I was beneath him again.  We devoured each other as he spread my legs and continued rubbing the head of his arousal against my clit, each pass causing me to shiver.

Pulling back, he looked down into my eyes.  “It’s going to hurt, baby.  Are you sure you’re ready?”

Biting my lip, I nodded.  “I’m ready.  I love you.”

He kissed me again softly before pulling back and looking me in the eyes as he said, “I love you too.”

I whimpered and clutched his arms as he began sliding into me.  He was slow and careful, watching my face for cues and allowing me to adjust to him as he went. When he got to the barrier, he started sliding gently in and out as I got used to having him inside of me.  With each gently thrust and retreat, he stopped short of going all the way.  He felt good inside of me, better than I had anticipated for my first time.