Catch My Fall (22 page)

A lot has changed in the past twelve weeks.  Tristan and I are doing so, so good, and every day I love him more.  I haven’t had the dream since the day baby Mia was born, and I think it’s partially because of her and the joy that she’s brought back to Macy and partially because of Tristan and the joy that he’s brought to me.

Darby and I have abandoned the dorms and aren’t even pretending to live there anymore.  I want to be with Tristan, he wants to be with me, and living together is amazing.  My mom, Neil and Uncle Jesse weren’t thrilled at first when I told them what I was doing, but they’ve come around.  I think they’re just so happy to see me truly happy that their fears and objections have faded away. It doesn’t hurt that they all love Tristan and are impressed by what a great man he is.  All three of them are officially living in Amarillo now and my baby brother, Nathan Jesse Carson, was born two weeks ago. 

The Evanses rented a house in Amarillo and moved in four weeks ago, which means that I get to see Macy and Mia as much as I want to… which is a lot.  My heart hurt for Macy after she got in touch with Steve and he told her that he had no interest in her or his daughter.  He wasn’t cruel about it, but he was blunt and he told her that if he had known she had gotten pregnant, he would have wanted her to have an abortion.  His biggest issue was that he didn’t want to pay child support for a child that he didn’t want. Macy had flatly told him that he wasn’t on the birth certificate and that she would never be bothering him for money.

When Macy asked me if I thought she was doing the right thing by letting him off the hook without even trying to get him to see Mia, I reminded her that I had always known that, to my father, I was an unwanted child.  There’s no doubt that his words and actions affected my self-confidence and I never want that same situation to play out in my niece’s life.  Macy felt much better about her decision to let Steve walk away without another word once I had explained all that to her, and I’m glad.  Baby Mia should always know that the people around her love her unconditionally and will be there for her no matter what.

Tristan, Trace and Darby have all turned out to be big softies, and they love having baby Mia over.  Of the three of them, Tristan is the most affected by her.  He even insists on babysitting when Macy, Darby and I go to get manicures, and it’s reason nine thousand and ninety-eight that I’m head-over-heels in love with him.  Like me, Tristan has the scars left behind from knowing that he was unwanted, and he dotes on that beautiful little angel because of that. He loves her to death and there’s nothing like seeing my beautiful man with a baby asleep on his chest.  I hope that someday, in the distant future, I get to see him holding our babies. 

I know it’s early to be thinking that, but I love him more than I ever thought I had it in me to love someone and he tells me every day that he feels the same way.  When I picture the future, I see Tristan. 

I’ve told Macy all about him, even showing her that very first note he gave me the day that he asked me to be his friend.  When I told her who is mother is, she was stunned. “Lynette was my midwife.  Didn’t you recognize her?”

I didn’t recognize her because I’ve never seen a photo.  To be honest, I don’t even remember what she looked like the night that Macy gave birth.  I was so busy holding Macy’s hand and watching baby Mia come into the world that I didn’t even really notice anyone else.  I asked Macy not to say anything to Tristan about it, and she’s kept silent.  I also haven’t told him, but I did wrestle with the decision.  In the end I decided that telling him was only going to upset him, and I’ll never do anything that will hurt him. 

* * *

Turns out I’m pretty domestic, believe it or not.  When I got home from class today I headed straight for the kitchen to start a crockpot chili for dinner.  It’s practically a full-time job making sure that Tristan doesn’t start inhaling sugar the second he comes through the door, but I love the challenge. 

While I was prepping, I thought about my father and all of his calls and emails over the last few weeks.  He was pissed when Uncle Jesse and I both bailed out of the family Christmas party, but he was livid when I returned my car and credit card along with a check for the tuition that he had already paid.  Once the baby was born, Macy and her family had stopped taking my father’s money as well.  Now that Macy’s better, I have no reason to tolerate my father anymore… and I don’t want to.  Uncle Jesse is the one that wrote a check for my college tuition and Neil bought me my dream car, a navy blue Jeep Wrangler.  It doesn’t have air conditioned seats or Sirius radio, and I love it a million times more than the over-the-top car my father had forced on me.

Hearing noises coming from the living room, I smiled.  Tristan wasn’t due home for another fifteen minutes but I was thrilled he was early because it gave us even more time to make love in the daylight before Trace and Darby came home. 

Running out to the living room with a smile on my face I sang out, “Babeee I’m making you chiliiiiiii….”  Skidding to a halt, I gasped and stopped talking when I saw my father and Brady in the room.

Backing up fast, I walked right into a wall.  “Get out of my house!”

My father let out a rude snort of laughter.  “
Your house
… Aren’t you precious?  Just like your fucking mother did with me, you’ve lassoed this fucking idiot so you can take his money.”

“I want you out of this house.  Get. Out.  You’re trespassing.”

“Shut up you ugly little bitch!  I don’t know whom the fuck you think you’re dealing with, but you do not get to one up me.  Sending me back the car and the money.... I know you’re trying to destroy my boy and I won’t stand for it.  My son has already been tainted enough by you and your white trash filth.  Pretending that he raped you and your slutty little friend was low, even for you. The tramp didn’t even have Brady or Chad’s kid! She fucked the entire town and wound up with some loser’s ugly baby that he doesn’t even want.”

“Shut up! I didn’t pretend anythin
g
—
your son is a fucking pig and he raped my friend and assaulted me.  I’m not doing anything to you or him.  I want nothing to do with you and I want you to leave MY house.  If you don’t go now, I’m calling the police.”

He was across the room like a shot as he raised his hand and smacked me across the face so hard I fell to the side.  “Lying fucking cunt!  Anything that you got, you deserved.  All you want to do is destroy my family because you’re jealous. My son got thrown out of his University because of you and your lies!”

He punctuated those words by grabbing me and I saw red.  Without even realizing that I was doing it, I started fighting back.  Using the moves that Tristan taught me, I got myself out of his grip by elbowing him and slamming my foot down on his instep.  He howled in rage and pain as I brought my knee up and smashed it into his groin.

I screamed when Brady grabbed me from behind, and as I fought him I heard one of our lamps smash onto the floor as an end table got flipped over.  I fought hard, twisting out of his grip and smashing my fist up into his nose, disgusted by the spray of blood that erupted from him and dripped to the floor. He’s filthy inside and out, and I didn’t want him in my house, much less leaving his DNA in it. I kicked him in the groin again and again as I let out a never-ending stream of curse words, but I was so intent on hurting him that I didn’t realize my father was regrouping until he grabbed my ankles and yanked me down.  I hit the tile floor hard, and my body oophed out all the air in my diaphragm with a giant whoosh.  I gasped huge lungfuls of air as I saw stars and my knee throbbed in pain.

I tried not to panic, but it was a losing battle.  With my good leg I kicked at my father’s hands hard, but with only one leg to work with he was disabled me quickly.  I screamed in agony when he sat down on my legs and yanked my hands behind my back.  He barked out a series of instructions to Brady that turned my stomach and I fought not to throw up.

“Son, get a knife from the kitchen and see if you can find some tape.  This bitch is about to find out what happens when you and I get fucked with.  We can have a little fun and get rid of her without too much trouble.”

This bitch? I’m his child!  He isn’t even Brady’s real father.  What is wrong with him?

“How can you do this to me?  I’m your daughter!”

He laughed at me, a cruel sound that chilled my blood.  Yanking my arms back painfully, he pushed them up until I saw stars and started to scream.

“You’re nothing but a fucking pile of garbage, bitch.  I have hated you since the minute I knew I got that fucking cow knocked up.  Didn’t I make that clear to you? If you chose to ignore the obvious, you’re a fucking idiot.  Every single day that I was married to that bitch and I was forced to live in a house with you, I fantasized about both of you dying.  The only thing that kept me there was the knowledge that someday my parents would die and I’d get all that fucking money.  Only I didn’t get it all because they left half to my retarded brother and a quarter to you.  To you! Between the two of you getting what you got, I was left with chump change.  You have no idea how badly I wanted to put a pillow over your face that day, you little brat.”

I saw Brady’s feet next to my head as he came back into the room and handed something over.  “Here you go, Dad.”

Leaning closer to my face my father whispered, “Now, we’re going to have some real fun.  This is for you and your mother.”

I tensed in anticipation of what was to come, but suddenly he was off my back.  I was confused and disoriented until I heard Tristan’s voice screaming obscenities, and I turned over just in time to see him throw my father clear across the room.  Brady ran forward and tried to grab him, but in addition to being a skilled fighter Tristan was in a rage and it wasn’t even close.  Grabbing Brady by the shirt he spun him around and slammed his head into the wall.  He did it with such force that there was a crack in the plaster as Brady fell backward to the floor, completely knocked out.

I saw that the front door was still open and I screamed for help as I prayed that someone on the street would hear me.  My father grabbed the knife from the floor and went for Tristan, but he didn’t get far.  I screamed in horror as Tristan got him down on the floor and began savagely beating him.

The punches flew through the air, almost no time passing between the loud sounds of fist hitting skin again and again.  I screamed for it to stop, for everything to stop, but my screams did nothing, did not even cause a pause in the beating.  Wherever he had gone, he couldn’t hear me. 

Forcing my sore and broken body up off the tile floor, I stumbled over to where they were. I lurched forward and grabbed his arm with both hands as I tried to pull him away.  My hands on his skin seemed to bring him back to reality, at least for a moment, but I feared that he would go back to that dark place again if I didn’t ground him somehow.

I heard the distant sound of sirens, and although ten minutes ago I had been praying for that sound, now I was terrified.  There was no doubt in my mind that the police would arrest him and take him away from me if I didn’t calm him down and get myself together enough to tell the police exactly what happened.  Even scared and injured, I knew that I needed to force myself to stay strong for him.  I’m more afraid of losing him than I am of anything else.

His eyes… the beautiful eyes that I’ve come to love so much were full of rage and pain, and I
knew he was far away in his head. Letting go of his arm, I lifted both of my hands up and cupped his face, forcing him to look at me.

I could barely croak words
from my sore and swollen throat, my screams having depleted my voice to almost nothing.  Still, I managed to force the necessary words out, needing him to listen to me so that the police wouldn’t find him wide-eyed and raging. 

“Stan, you have to pull yourself together.  I need you. 
I. Need. You.
”

My words broke through whatever fugue state he was in, and my heart broke as he crumbled.  He dropped to his knees, wrapped his arms around my waist and buried his face against my stomach before he forced out one word.

“Mimi…”

I barely had time to push his hair back from his face before the police burst into the house with their weapons drawn.

“Put your hands up!”

We both complied as Tristan shouted that he was the homeowner, and then we spent the next half hour explaining what had happened.  Against my will I was taken away in an ambulance, leaving Tristan by himself with the police.  I cried and begged not to be taken, but the paramedics and the police weren’t having any of that.

Before I left the house on the stretcher, I forced one of the EMTs to give me my cellphone.  I had my Uncle Jesse on the phone before we were even away from the curb.

My Uncle Jesse got to the police station before Tristan did, and he had an attorney there half an hour later.  Knowing that Teresa would likely throw money at the situation so that Tristan would be labeled the bad guy, Uncle Jesse went on the defensive and made sure that never happened.  No charges were filed against Tristan and other than having a messed-up house, a busted-up girlfriend and logging too many hours with the police, he was in the clear.  The evidence that my father and stepbrother had trespassed and assaulted me was overwhelming.

My poor mom was with me at the hospital the entire time all of that was going on which made me feel wretched because she’s still in the process of recovering from giving birth to baby Nate via C-Section.  Neil tried to argue with her that he should be the one to sit with me, but in the end he dropped her off at the emergency room entrance and left her at the hospital while he took Nate home. 

I was released from the hospital after my dislocated shoulder was reset and I had an X-ray on my knee.  Everything was fine and other than having some swelling, I was fine.  I’ve got to wear a brace as a precaution until I can schedule a follow-up visit with an orthopedist. 

It felt like a million hours had passed by the time that we were ready to leave the hospital. I was expecting Neil to be at the curb when we left, so when I saw Tristan standing next to Darby’s car, I half hopped, half ran right into his arms. 

“You saved me… you saved me. Thank you, Stan.  Thank you.  I love you so much!”

He held me tight as he ran his hands over my face in wonder.  “No baby… it’s you who saved me.  Fighting for you is what I was born to do.  Never thank me for doing what comes naturally.”

It was the sound of my Mom crying that separated us from our mutual love-fest.  As soon as Tristan and I pulled apart, my Mom practically tackled him to the sidewalk. 

“You can’t make me stop thanking you, ever.  You’re the best thing that ever happened to my daughter and I love you for saving her from those maniacs.”

I loved Tristan more than ever when he hugged my mom and promised her that he would always take care of me.  I also loved him more for knowing that my Mom would need to have me under her roof for a few days.  He had a bag all packed for me to stay with her, and I loved that he was willing to sacrifice his need to be with me in order to make my mother happy.  In a stunning turn of events, my Mom asked him to stay at her house as well.  My mom is still my mom so of course we weren’t allowed to sleep in the same bedroom with the door closed, but she did cave in and let us sleep in the same bed. 

Snuggled safely in his arms that first night, I unloaded all of the things that I was thinking and feeling on him, and he listened to every word. 

“You’re in my life because of fate, Stan.  If I didn’t have you I would never have learned how to defend myself.  Your defense techniques held them off long enough that they weren’t able to do whatever it is that my father was about to do before you got there.  I was in a total panic one minute and the next thing I knew, I was doing the maneuvers that you taught me.  It’s my own fault that my father was able to get on top of me.  That happened because I wouldn’t stop kicking Brady.”

Drawing in a shuddery breath, he traced my face with his fingers.  “I’m so fuckin’ proud of what a fighter you are, Mimi.  You’re the kick-ass girl of my dreams and I love you, now more than ever.”

“I love you too, Stan.  Now more than ever.”

I went to sleep wrapped safely in his arms secure in the knowledge that I was exactly where I was supposed to be.

We stayed with my Mom, Neil and baby Nate for two days, and they doted on us both.  Uncle Jesse was right there with them spoiling us both.  Tristan felt bad at first, but I sat him down and told him that they all just needed to see that we were okay and there way of doing that was by doing what they were doing.  I fell in love with him all over again when he let them practically take his temperature every five minutes the entire time we were there. 

By the time we left, Tristan was firmly established as a part of my family.