Closed Off To You (Singing Star Trilogy #1) (20 page)

“I know you laugh at what happened, but I just want to thank Melissa for making me step outside my comfort zone. It may not have turned out as planned, but then, we didn’t really have any plans. For the first time in my life, I just went along, and had a blast. If it wasn’t for Melissa, I would never have done that.”

Lizzie got to her feet, using Charlie as leverage. “I agree!” she shouted.

They started to clap and point at me. I laughed nervously, clapping myself. Why were they drawing attention to me? I hadn’t done anything.

“To Melissa,” Charlie shouted.

He got to his feet and held a beer in the air. Everyone cheered as they watched me, standing awkwardly in front of them. I had nothing to say. When it fell silent, that stupid nervous laugh came out again.

“Thank you?” I muttered.

“Not like you to be tongue-tied,” my uncle shouted. “You were the one who told the judges that you were from outer space. Why are you all of a sudden embarrassed?”

He was right. I had a habit of blurting stupid things. It was never real, though. It was a show. I had no idea how to be myself around everyone.

“Because I didn’t do anything. I was completely drunk when I signed us up. Who makes up the name Beautiful Brunettes?”

Laughter filled the pub again as people turned back to their little groups and started to talk. I let my breath out as the attention was taken off me.

“I need to talk to you,” a deep voice hissed into my ear.

An involuntary shudder went all the way over my body when Nathan’s fingers brushed the small of my back.

My gaze connected with Charlie’s. His eyebrows rose when he spotted Nathan by my side. He shook his head and shrugged at the same time. The small grin that came to his face made me realise that he was okay with whatever was going on between Nathan and me. Not that anything had happened since the week before. And not that anything was going on between us now, either.

“Can we get out of here?”

I raised my eyebrows at Charlie. Nathan had no idea that we were having a whole conversation with facial expressions. He nodded once and then turned away to talk to Lizzie and Ella. They winked at me as I turned to Nathan and murmured my agreement.

He took my hand, not caring if anyone saw, and led me out of the pub. I followed him like a good girl. No, a good woman.

I watched his back as the door closed behind us. His black jeans were ripped at the front and his white shirt was unbuttoned to the top of his chest. He looked like a man-god.

Holding my fingers loosely, he led me towards the small park opposite the pub.

“Where are we going?” I asked.

He didn’t speak, just looked over his shoulder at me. There was no smile on his face and his eyes were even darker under the street lamp. The beat of my heart increased at the tension that fizzled between us.

We passed the entrance to the park and carried on down the path.

“I want you,” he suddenly said.

He spun towards me, grabbed the back of my head, and pulled my hair back. A cool breeze tickled the skin of my neck as he lowered his head and kissed me softly on the spot where my heartbeat pulsed in my neck.

“Wait!” I pushed him off me. “I can’t do this. I thought we agreed. I can’t be your friend with benefits.”

My bottom lip was clamped between my teeth as I looked up at him. It was pretty dark in the corner of the park. His eyes glowed in a nearby lamp. The way he looked at me was different. It was as if he wanted to eat me, devour me…have all of me. I had never seen him look at me that way.

“I don’t want to be friends with benefits,” he muttered.

My eyes closed briefly as his words sunk in. I repeatedly swallowed, trying to clear the tears that wanted to spill from my eyes. It had been a wild ride. An extreme experience. Meeting Nathan and the intense sex. Realising that he only wanted one thing. Feeling more for him than I ever should. Battling with myself over wanting to be with someone who was younger than me. Not having the power to say no when he wanted to sleep with me.

“I don’t understand. What do you want from me?”

I couldn’t do it any more, I was about to crack. If I didn’t get away from him, I would embarrass myself, yet again.

“You…” he breathed.

I shook my head, not understanding him. What more did I have to say to make it clear that I didn’t want to be friends with benefits?

“You said you couldn’t…love…anyone,” I muttered.

He stepped forwards, I moved back. If he got too close, I wouldn’t be able to push him away again. His scent pulled me towards him. I resisted. His eyes beckoned me to go to him. I wouldn’t.

He cleared his throat. “I don’t know if I can. Things happened to me when I was young. Melissa. I want to…I want to share them with you one day…”

The tears came. I pretended they weren’t there as I looked into his eyes. Unable to glance away. The salty water ran down my cheeks and fell off my chin as I clasped my hands together. What was he saying?

“I’d like that,” I whispered back.

His shoulders relaxed slightly. He reached out without moving forward and wiped a tear from my cheek. His thumb hovered on my chin as I licked my lips.

“I can’t promise you anything. I’ve never loved anyone before, but for some reason, I can’t get you out of my mind. I thought that when you left Ireland, I would be able to go on with the show and not think about you. It’s been four days. You’re the only thing I can think about. Even when I’m singing, you’re in my head. I like that you’re there, but it’s hindering me.” He smiled, making my heart speed up even harder.

Could I really do it? He was younger than me. A soon to be star. A very handsome man, who would have a very big following, very soon. I couldn’t compete with all the beautiful women out there. I shouldn’t have to.

“You can have anyone you want. You’ve always had that. You’re going to be huge. I don’t know if I could handle that.”

I wished him all the success in the world. He deserved it. However, I wasn’t sure I was the woman he should risk his heart with. Not when there were so many others out there.

“I’m not being big headed, but I’ve had my fair share of women. Not one of them has affected me the way you have. Don’t ask me why…” He blushed when I raised my eyebrows. “…You know what I mean. You’re lovely, so humble. You hide behind such a big facade, but I see you. I see who you really are, Melissa.”

My hands slipped apart as the sweat and constant tugging finally gave way. I wanted him to see me. I wanted him to be the first man that had ever bothered to look inside me. “How?”

I needed to know. What was it that made him see me? Why him out of everyone else?

“You pretend that you’re happy as you are. You pretend that you’re okay when we have sex, but in reality, it’s tearing you apart. I know, because that’s what I feel, too. You’re the first person that has made me fight with myself. I’ve never questioned my decision just to have fun with a woman, until now. Until you. You made me wonder if there was more that could develop.”

I shuddered. “But you’re amazing.”

The shake of my voice made him smile. He stepped forward, and this time, I didn’t move away. Taking one of my hands, he held it gently.

“I think we’re a bit…messed up. But…I want to be the one you tell your fears to. I think we have a lot more in common than you realise.”

I chewed on my lip, unable to look away from him. It was too much of a fairy tale. Did the rising star know what he was doing? Was he going to push me away as soon as he realised what a nut case I was?

“Too old…”

He dropped my hand and wound his arms around me. I relaxed against him as his mouth came towards my lips and captured them in a quick sweet kiss.

“Stop fighting,” he ordered.

Linking my arms around his thick neck, I smiled up at him. It would probably be almost impossible for me to stop fighting myself, but I couldn’t fight him anymore. My whole body turned to liquid as he held me against him.

Nathan pulled away and looked down into my eyes. “I don’t think it’s going to be easy. Neither of us are very good at opening up, but I think we can do it. Do you want to try?”

I would be absolutely stupid if I didn’t say yes. A gorgeous young man that wanted to rock my world? Who could say no to that?

“Yes. I want to try.”

His smile was huge, bigger than I had ever seen it. I put my hand to the back of his head and brought his mouth to mine again. Pushing my tongue between his lips, I groaned when his tongue met mine and swirled in an erotic dance. We had so much to do and most of it would be in bed.

“What about the show?” I gasped, pushing him away from me. “You should be there.”

He groaned as he adjusted his crotch. “I do need to go back first thing tomorrow. But, tonight…I’m taking you home right now. I want to find that perv you keep hidden so well.”

I grinned, biting on the inside of my cheek as the disbelief set in. He was right, we both had secrets we had to share. As much as he wanted to be with me now, which was bloody unbelievable, would he still feel the same way if he knew about my past?

“You’re going to have to work very hard to get that perv out of me. That much, I can promise you.”

He chuckled as he threaded his fingers through mine and we started to walk towards my home. “No worries. I’ve got the rest of my life. That’s if you can put up with me, I might scare you off. If this television show doesn’t kill me first, then you had better keep your promise. I’m a man of my word. You better be a woman of yours.”

Thank you so much for reading the first book in Melissa and Nathan’s story. Please let others know what you thought about it by leaving a review.
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Copyright

Copyright © 2016 by Rachel S. Rose (Rachel Medhurst)

All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

Published in 2016

Author

Rachel S. Rose was born and raised in Surrey, England. She writes sexy empowering fiction and non fiction because she believes that women can own their sexuality and femininity. Her slightly kinky imagination combined with a need to share empowered feminine stories makes Rachel determined to find her tribe.