Color Blind (8 page)

I’m going to be introduced as the lead
choreographer during intermission.

“No,” I answer. “I’ve definitely got that
covered. If I ever have to give a Tony award acceptance speech, I’m going to
have one written out years ahead of time!”

Mrs. Bartos laughs. “Okay then,” she says.
“I’ll see you when the curtain opens!” She walks away, her heels clicking on
the black marley floor of the stage.

As I watch her go, a strong, steady arm
encircles my waist.

“Do you have time for one more question?”
Luka whispers in my ear.

I rest my head comfortably back against
his chest and a bouquet of pink roses appears in front of me. “These are for
you.”

“Luka!” I exclaim. “That was so sweet.
You didn’t have to—“

“I find myself having to do anything that
puts that smile on your face,” he interrupts me. “I can’t help myself.”

Luka and I had been out together twice in
the past week, and were getting closer all the time. We still hadn’t had “the
talk” about whether or not we were an exclusive couple, but I think the rumor
mill around school states that we are.

How do I feel about it? I really like
spending time with Luka. He’s sweet, thoughtful, and oh-so-nice to look at.
There really isn’t much more to ask for. But that jet-ski ride and picnic with
Cooper…I can’t get it out of my head. Cooper and I haven’t hung out since then.
I’ve been focusing on the musical…and Luka. However, I still see Cooper every
day in English Lit and around school. At lunch he started sitting with a group
of musicians that are known for playing gigs around the city, and I miss his
presence at our table. But I guess he feels out of place with me sitting next
to Luka every day. I wonder if he’s given up any idea of something happening
between us.

The thought makes my heart clench, and
I’m not sure why. If I wanted to be with Cooper, I would. But Luka’s presence
has dominated my time since we met. It disappoints me that Cooper gave up so
easily, though. I can’t deny it.

“Well thank you,” I say to Luka. “I’m
lucky to have such a thoughtful and handsome guy looking out for me.”

“There was one other thing I wanted to
give you before your first show,” he says. His voice has dropped an octave and
he’s giving me a coy smile. “For luck.”

Luka leans down, and as his soft lips
approach mine, I close my eyes and will my anxiety about our first kiss away.

His lips meet mine, and it’s warm and cozy.
I snuggle into his arms as they wrap around me, and fog clouds my head as Luka
sighs against my mouth. He tastes like butterscotch candy, and his skin is
softer than I expected a boy’s to be. When the kiss ends, Luka lingers close to
my face, breathing deeply.

I brace my hands on his chest, my
thoughts spinning. I look up at him, to find his eyes boring into mine.

“Luka—“ I begin.

His finger covers my lips. “Let’s let
that marinate, okay? Good luck tonight. I’ll be in the audience, and I’d like
to give you a ride after the show’s over if that’s alright.”

Looking into his beautiful brown eyes, I can’t
refuse him. I nod.

After Luka leaves, the remaining hour
before the show passes in a blink, and suddenly the house lights blink in the
auditorium, and the first strains of “I Have a Dream” are wafting through the
room. I take my place behind the stage manager in the wings, directing dancers
as they swirl on and offstage.

The first act passes faster than I expect,
and suddenly the theater teacher is announcing my name. I smooth my short black
dress nervously. My feet, in their stiletto red heels, propel me forward, and I
drift to the podium on the side of the stage.

“Thank you, Mr.
Laffy
,
for that kind introduction. I’m so proud of my dancers in this musical. They’ve
done all of the work; and made it really easy to choreograph a great show.
Thank you so much for coming, and I hope you enjoy the rest of “Mamma Mia!”

I walk off the stage to the sound of the roar
of applause.

“Well said, Cam Short For Camryn.
Congratulations on the show. You’ve done an awe-inspiring job.” There stands Cooper,
decked out in all his sexy leather and denim.

“Hey, thanks Cooper. I didn’t know you
were coming, since you weren’t able to get a last-minute part. I’m glad you’re,
um, enjoying it.”

Damn
it!
Why does he have to
look
like that?
 
Always good enough to take a bit of. Now
I can’t even finish a sentence without stuttering.

Cooper gives me his signature lopsided
smile. “You’re welcome. I have something for you, but I’ll have to get it to
you another time.”

My eyes widened. “Really? What is it?”

He rakes his eyes up and down my body
suddenly, as if he’s just noticed what I’m wearing.

“You look…ridiculously hot,” he says
softly. “I thought you looked beautiful on stage, but this close…wow.”

My mouth is too busy hanging open to be
able to answer him, so I just nod.

He grins. “What are you doing after the
show? Maybe I can give it to you then.”

After the show I have plans with Luka. Somehow
I feel sorry to have to tell Cooper this. I really wish I didn’t have plans, so
I could find out what he has to give me.

“After the show is no good,” I admit.
“Sorry.”

He nods knowingly. “Someone beat me to
it, huh?” He takes a step toward me.

“Um, yeah,” I reply. There’s the
stuttering again.

He continues walking forward until he’s
standing right in front of me. He takes my chin in one hand and rubs the side
of my face softly with one thumb. He stares down at me, and all I can do is
stare back. He’s held me in the palm of his hand the second he looked at me
like I was something good enough to eat.

“I want to kiss you,” he states simply.
“You don’t know how much. Would you push me away if I tried?”

My eyes are wide as I shake my head.

“That’s something,” he whispers. He
focuses on my lips as he speaks, which makes it really hard to concentrate on
what he’s saying.

“I’m not going to kiss you right now,
though, Cam.”

Disappointment washes through me. “Why
not?”

“Because I want to by the only guy
allowed to kiss you when it finally happens.”

“Oh,” is my brilliant response.

 
Cooper bends down and pauses, his face so
close to mine I can feel his warmth radiating out from his mouth. My heart
stills and I look up at him, waiting. My lips are pursed slightly and I am
hungrily anticipating the moment his lips will touch mine. I’m so tempted to
lean forward and let my mouth graze his, but I somehow am able to restrain
myself.

He kisses my cheek, then backs away. “Next
time, I’m stealing you away.”

Cooper exits the backstage entrance door,
leaving me standing alone with a racing heartbeat and shaking legs.

I sigh, irritated at the heat that has
pooled up inside of me at Cooper’s proximity. What is Cooper Goode doing to me?
I’ve never experienced so many intense emotions shooting through my body
before. He set off a fireworks display inside me with just one touch.

After the show, which went off without a
hitch, I meet my friends and friends outside the auditorium’s front doors.
 

Dara and Sarah entrap me in a tight group
hug. “Cam!” Dara exclaims. “That was amazing!”

“Thanks girls. Now, can you let go so I
can breathe?”

“It really was, girl!” Sarah agrees,
releasing me.

“I knew you had some choreography skills,
but that? That was on another level. I forgot I was watching a high school
musical.” Brandon shakes his head in disbelief.

I watch some of the stars of the musical
around us, hugging their parents and being showered with praise from their
mothers, fathers, grandparents, and other family members. Wistfully, I wish I
had that. I wish my mom didn’t have to work so hard. I wish, for the umpteenth
time that she could be at one of my performances. I try to put it out of my
head.

My friends’ praise washes through me and
makes me feel warm and tingly all over. Luka, Dara, Sarah, and Brandon are a
good substitute for parents, showering me with compliments.

Tonight really was a success. I can’t
believe it.

“So are you guys headed home now?” I ask
them.

“Actually,” Luka reminds me. “Aren’t you
supposed to come out with me for a little while?”

I smile at him. “What did you have in
mind?”

“Do you guys want to go grab dinner? I’m
starving,” Dara asks.

Brandon looks at Luka and me.

“I’m down for that,” I answer. “Luka?”

“Sure,” he says. “El Nino?”

We agree to meet at my favorite Mexican
restaurant, and Luka leads me out of the school to his SUV.

As he walks me around to the passenger side
door, he reaches over to open it. Instead of doing so though, he snakes both
arms up on either side of me and presses his palms against the car. I am
pinned, facing Luka’s strong, tall frame.

He leans in, sweet breath tickling my
face. “You’re amazing,” he says.

I meet his gaze, and wonder where the
sweet, gentlemanly Luka has gone. “Oh?”

“Yeah,” he answers “I’m so proud of you.”
His voice is low, gravelly. “The show was off the chain.” He leans down and
kisses me, for the second time tonight. Hungrier, longer this time. As the kiss
goes on, I lose myself in it, letting my hands loosely explore his broad
shoulders, his strong back muscles. They ripple under his shirt, and it makes
me shiver with pleasure.

I hadn’t expected this bad-boy side of
Luka to emerge, and I like it more than I ever thought I would. I pull him
closer, and he groans softly under my lips. I smile to myself.

We arrive late to dinner.

Chapter
8

The
Bonfire

Cooper

I can say I’m disappointed I didn’t get
to give Camryn the gift I’d created for her after the show, but I’d be lying. I’m
not
just
disappointed; I am beyond
frustrated. How am I supposed to get closer to her if she doesn’t give me
opportunities to impress her? Now I’ll have to wait until the next time I got
her alone, and who knows when that will be?

The beach bonfire is coming up, and I
decide to ask her to go with me. I don’t have anything to lose by asking her. Judging
by the fact that she is walking around school on Luka’s arm and cozying up to
him in the cafeteria every day, it’s long shot.

I’ll still ask.

I close my locker and turn to walk toward
my math class.

“What’s up, man?” says a guy with spiky
blonde hair and three metal studs in his left ear.

“Hey, Hunter,” I answer. “What’s good?”

“Nothing, dude,” he says. “Just wanted to
make sure you were coming to practice this afternoon.

“Yeah, I planned on it. We working on the
new stuff?”

“That’s the plan,” he says cheerfully. “I
gotta run. See you at my house later.”

I watch Hunter saunter off, then shake my
head and head to my class.

Entering my classroom just after the bell
rings, I slip into my seat in the back of the room and slouch low.

“Thank you, Mr. Goode, for deciding to
grace us with your presence,” Mrs. Hiller intones. “Homework out, everyone.”

Surprising as it probably is to Mrs.
Hiller, I had actually done my homework. I complete my homework every night,
yet it always seems to surprise my teachers when I get good grades. I guess
naturally smart isn’t something teachers want to see; they’d rather see kids
killing themselves to study for unexpected quizzes and irrelevant tests.

I never have to study. If I did, I would
fail out of school because I’m not that type of kid.

Needless to say, my teachers aren’t fans
of the kid who sits in the back of the room, answering nothing, and still acing
their exams.

When the last bell finally rings, I zip
out of my classroom and stop at my locker again. I grab my helmet and my keys,
and slip my bag across my shoulders. When I turn around, ready to get out of
this dungeon, I almost slam into the girl standing directly behind my locker.

I jump out of the way so I don’t bowl her
over; she barely flinches. “Yeah?” I study the girl, waiting for her to tell me
what she wants.

“Hey, Cooper,” she says brightly,
swinging her blonde hair over her shoulder. “Um, I was just wondering, you
know, a couple of us were talking, and we’re going swimming at my house
tonight. Do you want to come?”

I don’t know this girl from Eve. But
obviously she’s in one of my classes…oh, that’s right. She’s in my History
class.

“No, thanks though,” I answer her. I try
to smile, be friendly, and it isn’t easy. “I’ve got stuff to do.”

“Oh, okay,” she says. Disappointment
clouds her features. “Maybe next time.”

“Yeah,” I say. “Later, um…”
Shit
. I’m caught not remembering her
name.

“Daphne,” she answers. “My name is
Daphne.”

“Right. See you later, Daphne.”

I take off down the hall, shaking my
head.

Camryn

The success of “Mamma Mia” is forgotten
around school a few weeks afterward, and a different event is on everyone’s
mind.

The bonfire.

An Oceanview tradition, the bonfire is a
fall-themed party on the beach for juniors and seniors. Because of where we
live, the weather is sometimes warm enough this time of year for beachwear.
This year, the weather is already turning cool, with chilly breezes gently plucking
the colored foliage from the trees.

No one will be modeling bikinis at this
year’s bonfire. The thought makes me smile, thinking about how disappointed
Cooper will be.

Flyers for the event decorate the school,
and it’s all anyone talks about.

As I walk up the hallway toward my locker
before first period, I see that Cooper is waiting to greet me. My heart pounds
harder the closer I get to him.

I still don’t understand this alien
reaction my body experiences when he’s near. My senses just take over. It’s like
my body is running on autopilot, and my brain is just along for the ride.

I keep thinking that the more time I
spend with Luka, these bodily reactions to Cooper will just melt away. It
hasn’t happened.

“Hey,” I greet him. “Homework question?”

“No,” he answers. “I just needed to see
your beautiful face first thing. I woke up with you on my mind.”

A nervous titter escapes me, even though
the rush of fluttering in my stomach threatens to send me airborne.

“You always see my face first thing,” I
point out. “We’re in first period together.”

“I know,” he answers. “But today is
different.” He shrugs.

“Anyway, what’s the deal with this
bonfire? You mentioned it before, but I wasn’t expecting all this hype. This is
worse than prom!”

I nod, examining the bonfire poster
tacked up next to my locker. “Us beach bums love our bonfires.”

“Well,” he says. “Does everyone, like,
take a date? Or what?”

I nod slowly. “Yeah, pretty much.
Everyone who has someone to take. I didn’t go last year. Because, sadly,
Cooper, I’m somewhat of a loner.” I tap his nose with an index finger and turn
back toward my locker.

His lustrous green eyes bored into mine
when he turns me back around with his hand on my elbow. “And what about this
year, Cam?”

When my name tumbles out of Cooper
Goode’s mouth like that, I can’t be responsible for the actions I take.

“What about me?” I squeak.

“Has
Luka
already beat me to it? I’m guessing you know you’re the only girl I want to go
to this thing with.” He spits Luka’s name like an accusation. His head tilts to
the side, and he shifts his book bag higher onto his shoulder.

The bell rings, signaling the start of
first period. “Let’s go to class,” I suggest.

“Let’s be late,” he replies. “I’d like to
hear your answer. Will you go to the bonfire with me?”

My heartbeat leaps ahead of my thoughts,
and I don’t know how to answer him. The thought of the look on Luka’s face if I
tell him I’m attending the bonfire with someone else…

Cooper’s eyes search my face, and they
harden slightly when he sees my hesitation. Seeing that hardness directed at me
almost crushes me.

“It’s cool, Cam,” he says. “I think I
thought there was something between us that maybe wasn’t actually there. I’m
sorry if I made you uncomfortable.” He turns and walks away.

I watch him go. Helplessness and
confusion fight to the surface inside of me, and I slowly follow him to our
first period.

***

When I arrive at the cafeteria later that
day for lunch, I walk over to the table, grab my best friend, and pull her
forcefully back out into the commons with me.

“Sit,” I order.

Dara sits.

“What is it?” she looks concerned. “Are
you okay?”

“Physically, yes” I reply. “But I haven’t
been able to talk to you about this, Dara, because you’ve been too opinionated.
I need you to be my best friend, and just
listen
.”

“Of course, Cam,” Dara is instantly all
ears. “Is this about Luka? And Cooper?”

“What was your first clue?”

“Cam, I’ve known you since we were six. I
could see you struggling with something. I just figured you were attracted to
Cooper, but knew you wanted to be with Luka. Is that not the case?”

I sigh, feeling heavy in my chest. “I
don’t know, Dara!”

Something behind me catches Dara’s
attention. Before I could turn, she says, “Ugh. P.B.G.C.’s. Six o’clock.”

A cackle of laughter meets my ears and I
turn.

Alicia’s almond-shaped cat eyes meet
mine. “Who’s taking you to the bonfire, Miss
Camryn
?” Her lip curls with distaste, like she has just eaten
something truly revolting.

Courtney tosses her long weaved locks
over her shoulder. “You may have Luka snowed, Camryn, but don’t think you’ve
fooled the rest of us. There’s nothing special about you, so don’t start
thinking there is.”

The clique turns and saunters away, high
heels tapping against the floor like a chorus of crickets in the forest.

If I had the ability, my face would have
been a deep scarlet.

“I literally hate them,” I tell Dara.
“Like…a lot.” I feign looking around on the ground beneath my feet. “Do you
have a brick? I want to throw it at Alicia’s car.”

“Me too,” she replies. “The hate part,
not the brick part. No, actually, the brick par too. They can’t stand it that
Luka wants you. I’m sure they all thought they had a chance with him at some
point. You’ve now made that impossible!”

Her satisfied smile reminds me of what I
want to talk to her about.

“Dara,” I say quietly. “I don’t actually
know if I even want to be with Luka. Cooper is inside my head, under my skin.
We’ve hung out once and I can’t stop thinking about him. I know he feels the
same, because he asked me to the bonfire today. I know Luka assumes we’re going
together and I don’t want to disappoint him. I don’t wan to disappoint anyone.”
My eyes studied the commons floor.

Dara stands up and touches my shoulder
gently. “Who do you think you’ll be disappointing if you follow your heart?”

“Who
won’t
I be disappointing? Luka, for one. You, because you love it that our boyfriends
are best friends. Maybe even my mom. She told me that Luka and I looked good
together.”

“Well, she was wrong about that. You look
spectacular together, not just good. But Cam! All of the people you just named
love you, and want you to be happy. If the person that makes you the happiest
isn’t Luka…then so be it. You deserve absolute bliss. Nothing less.”

I nod. We walk, arm in arm, into the
cafeteria, where Brandon and Lula are waiting.

When we sit down, Luka sweeps his arm
across the back of my chair. “Everything okay?”

I smile at him, forcing the shame and
fear from my expression. “I’m fine.”

“Good. Let’s talk about this bonfire.
It’s this weekend, you know. What time should I pick you up?”

“Actually, I have to drive myself,” I blurt.
I glance at Dara, and she nods encouragingly.

But Luka’s brow furrows. “By yourself?
Why? I don’t mind driving you, Cam.”

I place my hand on his arm. “Can we take
a walk?”

I take his hand and lead him back out
into the commons and out the glass door leading to the courtyard.

“Luka,” I begin. “I have really loved
spending time with you this last month.”

Luka puts his hands up behind his hand,
interlocking his fingers. Agitation mars his face. “Why am I sensing I’m not
going to like what comes next?” His eyes search mine.

“I just need some time, Luka. I don’t want
to move too fast with you. I’m not sure I’m ready for all of this.”

“All of what, exactly? A relationship? Or
just a relationship with me?”

I look at him, pained. “Hurting you is
the last thing I want to do right now, Luka. And I really do want to keep
spending time with you, keep getting to know you better. But if you aren’t
interested in being my friend—“

He grabs one of my hands and brings it to
his lips. “Cam. I’m not going to pretend I only want to be your friend. I want
so much more than that with you. But if you need time, I’m willing to give it
to you. I don’t have a choice. But tell me one thing.”

“What?”

“During this time you’re taking…will you
be spending some of it with another guy? I need to know, Cam. If I’m competing
for your heart, I need to know upfront.”

Competing for my heart? Is he? That
sounds so dramatic. I’m not even sure if my heart is worth a competition. I’m
not this girl that two guys fight over. I’m certain I don’t even have a whole
heart to give. There’s a daddy out there who owns part of mine, and took it
with him when he left me without a second look.

Anyway, Cooper has never seemed
interested in fighting.

“I don’t know what my heart wants,” I
answer Luka honestly. “That’s all I can say.”

He brings my hand to his lips one more
time. “Then I’ll have to teach you. I will be at the bonfire Friday night, Cam.
Even if you drive over alone, come find me. We can talk, or dance, or just hang
out. But please come and find me.”

Luka walks away, and then pauses, looking
back over his shoulder. “I’m what your heart wants.”

I walk over and kiss him, quick and
light. “Thank you for understanding. I feel like I don’t deserve any of it.”