Cut Too Deep (37 page)

She sighed as if relieved, furthering the rage Miller felt.

His love had suffered considerable pain. Miller held himself responsible. He still needed to tell her everything, but feared with all of her revelations this evening, and her emotional state, she would never forgive him. Hadley noticed the sadness in his eyes, as though something slowly ate away at his soul. She knew he had more to share.

“You can tell me.”

“What?”

“You said before you had more to tell me about my past. What is it? I can take it.”

The old woman’s words outside Hadley’s door repeated themselves in his mind.

Truth will set you both free.

He closed his eyes.

“I was in your apartment the night your parents died.”

Miller opened his eyes and took her hand, prepared to provide Hadley with the missing pieces she’d been searching for. His touch felt like a burn. Hadley pulled her hand away as the memory slammed into her.

She’d woken up next to her mother when she heard the men talking on the other side of the door. Hadley accepted her mother would never wake up. She figured the police were in her house and found her father. Policemen terrified her. Her father taught her they were not to be trusted. Jail awaited her on the other side of the door for killing her father, but they needed to know about her mother.

She got up and walked to the door. When Hadley opened it, a gloved hand pulled it closed and held it tight. For several minutes, she pulled and pulled, but it wouldn’t budge. She heard their voices.

“Are we done?”

“Sure we got it all?”

“Yeah, it’s clean.”

“What about the girl?”

“Leave her.”

And then, she heard Giovanni’s voice.

“No! We have to help her!”

“We can’t, kid.”

The door rattled, and Hadley ripped it open. Vito carried Giovanni down the hall. Giovanni reached his hand out for her, screaming out her name exactly as Miller had done in her dream.

“Giovanni, Giovanni. What are you doing here?”

“Hadley.”

The front door slammed shut, taking Giovanni away from her again.

She rushed to her bedroom to see her father exactly as she left him. She went to her parents’ room and climbed on the bed, chanting. “My mind is playing tricks on me. It will be okay.”

Miller saw recognition fall over Hadley’s face. Their eyes met, reality clashing between them.

“Why were you there?” Hadley asked in a soft whisper, her body shaking mildly.

Miller inhaled sharply and offered the truth.

“I killed you father.”

He expected her to rage, but Hadley sat stoic.

She didn’t understand what Miller was saying. To this day, she could still feel the blade pierce her father’s neck when she thought about that night.

“No, you’re confused.”

“I wish I was. Your father had some large gambling debts with my family. I was with Vito when he paid him a visit. When I figured out it was your house, I ran to tell you to hide, in case Vito needed to get rough, only I found your father first.”

“But he was dead. I killed him.”

“I thought so, too. I bent down to check on him.” Miller brought his fingers to his chin, and rubbed the scar that always intrigued her. Now, it connected them. “And he gave me this. I reacted and… I’m to blame for the life you’ve had. I killed him.”

He dropped his head to her lap. His arms held her waist, knowing it would be the last time he touched her. Hadley would leave him, but she knew the truth, and that would set her free, even if it held him hostage until death.

Hadley threaded her fingers through his hair. His chest heaved and she thought she heard him crying.

He blamed himself?
She wondered.

“He was already dead.” Miller lifted his head to her forgiving gaze. “He wouldn’t have survived regardless, and if he did, he was never going to be my father again. He would have went to prison. My life would have turned out exactly the same.” She reached up and touched the scar she imagined held the same immense pain hers did. “I love you, Miller Giovanni, and I don’t blame you. Please, don’t blame yourself.”

Miller didn’t deserve her understanding or forgiveness. She went through hell because of him. He may never forgive himself, but he would seek revenge on her behalf.

“I should have told you sooner. I thought I was protecting you.”

“I know, and I love you for that, but I’m strong. I don’t need a protector anymore. I need a partner. I’m ready to put the past behind me and build a future with you, one free from our past.”

Miller kissed Hadley softly, then lifted her from the couch and carried her to bed.

Hadley tried to sleep, but her thoughts kept her mind awake. She knew Miller would mention Valentina again. Hadley wondered if, as part of nursing her pain, she should visit her grandmother. Then there was her other grandmother, a woman who offered her an amazing opportunity. She was going to accept, but she was going to try and talk herself out of it first.

She shoved aside her grandmothers to address a larger problem, how to deal with her former guardian. The more details reminded her of his viciousness, the more she knew what she needed to do. Miller wasn’t going to like it, but he couldn’t prevent it either.

The bed was empty when Hadley woke. She felt like a new woman as she got out of bed. They’d both been traumatized that night, and, by trusting each other, they both recovered. There was nothing left in the way of their happiness.

Hadley entered the kitchen to find Miller on the phone. On the counter were two plates with bagels slathered in Nutella. He winked at her and slid one over to her along with a mug of coffee.

“Thank you, Nick. I’ll be in touch.”

Miller set his phone on the counter.

“Anything?”

“Did you sleep well?” he asked evasively.

“I did,” Hadley answered quickly. “Now, what did you find out?”

Telling Hadley would change everything, but she deserved the truth.

“Your guardian and your father knew each other. I don’t know the specifics, but they both have connections to Abram Vasilievich.”

Hadley lifted her brows with her hands out. “Who?”

“Head of the Russian mob. He’s responsible for the rise in human trafficking in and out of New York. He started up the business a couple of months before your father died. Your father was into him for more than he owed my family. Nick hasn’t connected all of the dots yet, but he thinks Vasilievich sold you to settle the debt and your guardian was the buyer who covered it.”

Hadley shook her head.

“That doesn’t make sense. They couldn’t have known my parents were going to die.”

Miller exhaled.

“You were being sold regardless of what happened. Your father couldn’t pay off the debt, and unfortunately, he owed money to some bad people. My guess is, they were going to kidnap you as a message to your father. I’d bet your parents’ death upset your guardian, because you ended up on the state's radar.”

Hadley remembered something her guardian would tell her. Hadley had always assumed it was the ramblings of a madman, and that he was holding her responsible for what he did to her.

“He used to tell me I fucked everything up by killing my father. I thought he was telling me my life wouldn’t have turned out this way if I hadn’t killed him, but I think you’re right. He was angry I ruined his plans. Oh, God! He’s crazy!”

“He’s a fucking dead man!”

“Miller!”

“I’m sorry, Love, but I’ve already spoke with Vito this morning. My uncle has his own guilt about that night, and if you think I’m angry, you haven’t seen anything yet. He wants revenge.”

It was twisted by social standards for Hadley to perceive Vito seeking justice on her behalf as love, but she did. She also worried about the eventual outcome.

“I don’t want anyone in your family to end up in jail because of that man. It would kill me. He’s not worth it.”

“
Our
family, Love. And, don’t worry, the Lorinos have a way of dealing with his kind.”

Her mind wandered to a decision made in the midst of restless sleep.

“Ayida thinks I should go to the police.”

“Who?”

“My neighbor. She interrupted an argument we had outside my door recently. She said I should tell the police what happened.”

Miller was shaking mad.

“Wait! That sick fuck is still coming around?”

“I hadn’t seen him for close to three years. He showed up at my apartment one evening after work, and then again a few nights later. I stood up to him and he left angry. He’ll be back, though. I’m sure of it. I think I should call the police before he tries something else.”

“And then what? He puts you through all of it again. The justice system has failed you repeatedly. No fucking chance I’m allowing that to happen. Please, trust me with this. My family will handle it. They’re professionals.”

Hadley gulped at the thought. Her bravery to insist evaporated.

“I’ll trust you, but, please, be careful.”

“Don’t worry about me.” Milled looked away with a wounded expression. “Hadley, if I had known, I would have never sent that first letter to you. God, you must have thought…”

Hadley closed her eyes, remembering every word of that first letter and how angry she’d been. She was horrified by the lust she felt for him then, but now she relished in it. She opened her eyes with a content smile.

“But, you didn’t know. When I look back on it, I love that letter more than any of them. That fiercely passionate man is who you are. It’s what drew me to you. I felt the same way about you. You did nothing wrong by admitting it.”

Miller’s eyebrows shot up.

“You thought about having letter sex with me?” Hadley ducked her chin into her shoulder to hide her blushing. “What? You can tell me.”

“Oh, Miller, I had a lot of fantasies about you, letter sex included, but I was afraid you’d ruin me.”

He used a finger to lift her chin.

“Hmmm. Well, I will do that, for all men other than me. Now eat your breakfast before you’re late for work.”

H
adley spent a few minutes in the morning updating Mac about what happened when she left him. She gave him a summed up version, leaving out anything to do with Harold Duwatski. If the man did turn up dead, the fewer people who knew, the better.

For the next hour, Hadley dragged and clicked her mouse, struggling to create the perfect add for a client’s new cosmetic product. She heard a knock on her door and hollered for them to enter. She’d been so busy that she’d yet to hire a secretary, although Paul suggested it would make her life easier.

“Delivery for Ms. Walker.”

The same courier that delivered to her house from the night before the ballet stood in front of her desk. She signed and sent him on his way.

The warmth filling her heart was indescribable. She stared at the tiny glass ball in her hand. Inside were a few dandelion seeds. The neck had a hook for her charm bracelet. She squinted, reading the writing stamped into the silver lid.

I wished for you.

The love of fairytales and the happily ever after she always assumed were the dreams of children, were hers. She couldn’t refute it, or doubt it, and she didn’t want to anymore.

Hadley took the elevator to his floor. She moved past the rude receptionist without a glance and went straight up the stairs to where Renee sat.

“Oh, hello, Mrs. Walker.” She smiled.

“Is he in?”

“He is. Let me ring him for you.”

“Mr. Genetti, Ms. Walker is here to see you… Yes, sir.”

“Have a seat. He’s finishing up a call and needs five minutes.”

Miller needed to compose himself, but he couldn’t resist reading the letter one more time.

My dearest Miller,

Stop looking for me. I'm happy. It's time for you to move on. I'm in Saudi Arabia with a man that gives me everything you never would. I'm not in love with you anymore. I hope you will find someone to love that is worthy of you.

I never was.

Theresa

How could she be so cold hearted and sincerely honest at the same time? She was right about one thing—he would never be the man she needed him to be. There had been a time he loved her hard. He hated she felt she wasn’t worthy of him, but reassuring her was in his past. Her insecurities were no longer his concern. He wadded up the letter and tossed it in the trash. He already found someone worthy of his love, and she was on the other side of the office door waiting for him.