Darkest Before Dawn (A Guardian's Diary Book 1) (19 page)

“You need to understand one thing, Emma; you can’t leave. If I don’t help you soon, you will be in agony for however many hours it takes for this to wear off.” 

“So basically you have to fuck me?” I snapped angrily as tears flooded my eyes.

“No, but I will make you come…which can give you the same relief. This doesn’t have to be an all or nothing thing. I can make you come so many other ways, Emma, that you’ll find release and won’t have to feel the pain.”

“But you won’t take my virginity?”

“No, not unless you ask me to, but even then I might not. I want you, but not like this. I wanted you to ask me to take it, to take you.”

“I’m on fire,” I cried as fiery pain shot through my body, making my back arch.

“Tell me when that fire touches you…” his fingers trailed over my core, “here.”

Chapter 21

*~*Jaeden*~*

She was spread out and exposed, bared exquisitely before me. Fucking Astrid took her will away, and she didn’t even know what was coming. Unimaginable pain would engulf her if she didn’t allow me to give her release…many releases at that.

I should have killed Astrid for this, and if she wasn’t protected by Shamus, I would have. Emma didn’t deserve to be involved in our war, Astrid’s endless attempts to get me back. Seeing the Moor poised above Emma’s sweet flesh with his fangs scraping her skin had been enough to get him killed, but Astrid knew the laws. She knew that without my claim on her, that Emma was fair game. Unprotected.

To claim her before this would have involved me doing it without her consent, and even with as dark and uncaring as I was, I wanted her permission. No, I needed it. She wouldn’t have agreed to it, and probably still wouldn’t.

The sight of her strung up and her open, untouched flesh had my cock pulsing and straining to get free, to bury the need I felt in that creamy white flesh. Those rose-tipped nipples just begged to be sucked.

“Listen to me. I need you to decide something before you get too far out of it. Do you want me to find Lachlan to do this, or do you want me to do it?” She looked up at me with dizzy confusion in her beautiful blue eyes.

“You, Jaeden, I only want you. Promise me you won’t allow anyone else in here,” she cried, and I felt my useless heart clench. My cock jumped once to remind me he was there with us.
Down boy
;
she’s untried and not ready for you.
I didn’t smile, because she wasn’t really willing. She was a victim of my murderous ex-wife, who just couldn’t accept that she was a manipulative, adulterous, whore. One I could give less than a shit about.

“You’re sure? I can find the wolf for you,” I asked cautiously, wondering if I had just lost my mind by trying to do the right thing. It was something I found myself doing more frequently since meeting her. Had I really just offered to find Lachlan to fuck the pain away, when I wanted nothing more than to drive my rock hard cock balls-deep in her tightness?

“I said you!” she screamed, and her body pooled with intense heat. Her core flooded with moisture that my mouth watered to taste. Her unique scent alone was enough to drive me over the edge, but she was different than the others I sought out to find relief with. Emma had an innocence to her that couldn’t be faked.

“I need to close the wounds, Emma,” I whispered as my fangs slid into place. Fuck, she’s addictive. Unlike any other female I’ve ever come across, and they number in the tens of thousands. I’ve fucked my way through countries, trying to forget what Astrid had done, what she was.

Tonight I had almost forgotten it, almost allowed her back in for a mere second. Her subtle curves and the hunger had mixed with the knowledge that Emma was in close proximity to the wolves. Jealousy; I was fucking jealous over a mere mortal, or whatever she was. I knew she wasn’t one of us. It was another first for me. Most women sought me out, and I used them as they wished to be, but sweet Emma, she’d had a perfect
no
planted on her perfect lips from the get-go.

I leaned my mouth over and closed the wounds on her ample breasts. Next, I leaned over, making sure to gently stroke her pussy with my fingers to test where she was with the aphrodisiacs. Her hips rose to my caress, drawn to it from the subtle relief my touch had awarded to her. I leaned over and placed my mouth on her inner thigh, perilously close to her sweet honey.

Knuckles grazed her flesh as her mound pushed up again and the bonds strained with her movement. I watched as fire burned in her eyes. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say that whatever Astrid had given her wasn’t very long lasting. She was covered in sweat, but at the same time, I could smell the drugs pushing through her system and out of her pores.

“Emma,” I whispered, and allowed the hoarseness in my voice to caress her skin. I leaned over and licked the bite from Astrid that’s right above her sweet, drenched pussy. She bucked her hips at the connection, and I gave up trying to hide how fucking turned on I was.

Her legs were spread wide, and her ass and pussy were right there, inches from my tongue. One taste. One single fucking taste and I’d end up fucking her until she was sore from it. I pulled out a knife, and cut her legs free; her breathing hitched as each leg fell to the bed.

She’d been too much temptation with those legs up and parted, her sweet honey dripping for my greedy eyes to feed upon. I stepped back from the bed, watching as she realized I’d left her hands bound. I smiled as I crossed my arms and pulled my t-shirt up painfully slow.

I loved the sounds she made as I bared my own my flesh to her. Those sweet hisses and hitches of her breath as she watched me strip to nothing. I kicked off the boots I wore, and met her eyes. My hands smoothed down my chest, right until I hooked my thumbs through the buckle of the belt I wore. I took my time undoing it, wondering how it would feel across that sweet ass.

She bit gently into her lip and I didn’t dare take my eyes from hers. Full control. I needed it. I had it. Fucking craved it from her like a junkie craves a fix. She was mine now; tonight I would have her.
I will make her mine.
She’d leave this room owned and sore from what we had done.

“Tell me, Emma. In your mind, what am I doing to you? Fucking your sweet body nice and slowly, or am I fucking you senseless? Should I make you work to come, or should I give you one for free?”

She swallowed, and the noise made me harder, if that was even possible. I loved taking my time as I revealed to her what she would be having tonight. I told her I wouldn’t be rough for the first time, but I could see it in her sweet blue eyes. She wanted it. There was a hunger for me in them, and it was fucking erotic. Intense need that couldn’t be faked, and the beautiful intensity I saw in hers floored me.

In all of my time as an immortal, I’d never wanted to fuck anyone as I did her. I wanted to rip her open and see what she’s made of. I wanted her submission. Many times, it wasn’t about what I wanted or needed. Not directly. Because I was the dominant one here, always. I was the fucking master. What I wanted from her was total obedience, and to allow me to control her pleasure in every sense of the word. I wanted her to be good, to be of use, to obey, and to
scream
for me. I wanted to please her, to make her boneless from how many times she would come for me.

“Jaeden,” she whispered my name as I kept her eyes locked with mine.

“After I take you the first time, Emma, we will no longer be Jaeden and Emma. You will be mine; you will please me and obey me, and for that, I will reward you with what I decide you deserve. My cock. My tongue. My fingers. I pick how you come for me, and when you can.”

“That sounds…dark,” she replied breathlessly.

“Everyone has a dark side, Emma. What I’m asking is if you want to come play with mine. My dark side is begging me to allow you inside of it, to make you my prey. It makes me believe things that shouldn’t be possible, like this; you being tied to my bed right now. This feels like a dream. A really fucking good one that I’ve dreamt about since I first laid eyes on you. So, tell me, Emma. Can I have you?”

She smiled. She fucking
smiled
. Most women flinch when I tell them I want their obedience. Most have difficulty giving up control and yet this blushing little virgin was grinning with an eagerness in her eyes for me to take control. I shook the surprise off as I snapped the belt in my hands and watched as her eyes glazed over with heat. “You want that, don’t you?” I asked, watching as her legs slid further apart.

Her pussy was soaked, and the smell was heady. I wanted to bury my face in it and suck that tender flesh until she begged me to come. Not yet, not until she was ready. Her pupils were no longer dilated from the drug, but from need.

“I want you, Jaeden,” she replied to my earlier question.

“Do you feel the drugs?” I asked, curiosity sneaking in. She shakes her head, and I grin. “No?”

“No,” she answered with the hottest voice I’d ever heard from a woman. “I don’t think it’s working anymore.”

My heart hammered in my chest, knowing if she put a stop to this now, it would just about kill me. I stood, still clad in jeans. They fit loosely over my hips and my cock is probably the only thing holding them on. I waited for her to demand to be released, but she just watched me. As if she was deciding our fate.

“Do you want me to let you go?” I asked, even though doing so would leave me in agony.

“No,” she said with a shy smile that spread across her lips.

“Jesus, woman,” I groaned, and had to actually force myself to remain on my feet instead of falling to my knees with relief. “You’re sure? I won’t be able to stop once we’ve started, Emma. If you don’t want this, tell me now.”

“I already told you. I want you, Jaeden, only you.”

*~*Emma*~*

I wanted him, and he’d seen it in my eyes. The expression he’d just made had created a need so dark and tempting inside my mind that I wasn’t leaving this room with my V-card intact. “Addy,” I whispered through the dryness of my lips.

“I gave the order moment she got here that she wasn’t to be bitten, or turned. I can’t keep them from fucking her, though.”

“Why didn’t you just tell me that?” I asked.

“Because I wanted you, and Astrid was here, willing. She is always willing. The moment I watched you with Raphael, I knew it wasn’t her I wanted. It was you. The entire time she danced, I was imagining you. Just like this,” he smiled as the words came out filled with lust.

“I’m not going to untie you,” he said with darkness in his eyes that both thrilled and scared me. His pants hung loosely on his hips, but the bulge was there. He wanted full submission, and I’d decided to give it to him this once.

“You don’t have to, but Jaeden. I am scared,” I admitted.

“I know,” he said as he leaned against the bedpost and smiled heatedly, “but what better way to make you perfect for me than to teach you from your first orgasm how to fuck me right? I’m going to give you pain tonight, Emma. It will be mixed with pleasure, and when you are wet enough to take me, I’m going to fuck you until you scream my name. At that point, I’m going to keep fucking you until you beg me to stop. The only question in my mind is if you will be able to handle it?”

I swallowed, fear rising in my chest. “Um, I have no idea if I can handle it.”

He smiled and approached the bed with his belt held in both hands. “I’m going to end up taking you hard. I like to fuck, a lot, and I like the person I fuck to know I’ve been inside of them for days afterwards. If it gets too painful, or it’s too much for you to handle, tell me and I’ll try to slow down.” His voice was just a rough rumble.

“Try?”

“Yeah, try. Emma, I’m very old, and in my day we fucked to claim. We fucked to please our women and keep them sated for weeks after we’d gone to sea. My point is I’m going to fuck you hard and fast. I’m going to make damn sure you know it was me who fucked you. Understand?”

Chapter 22

My heart accelerated. My pussy was soaking wet, and the moment he removed his pants, I wanted to scream,
stop!
I had to bite my tongue to keep from saying it. He placed the belt beside the bed, and pulled my ankles to him.

“I’ve imagined what this would be like a million times, sweet girl. The noises you’d make for me, and the sweet taste of your flesh,” his mouth lowered to kiss one ankle and then the other one. “The way you’d scream as I pumped my cock into your tight sheath,” his fingers slid further up until they held my thighs and pushed them apart. My hands strained to touch him, but he locked his eyes with mine and all thoughts of anything other than where his lips would go next evaporated from my mind. He kissed my inner thighs, trailing his tongue in an erotic pattern of swirls and kisses. “I’m going to fucking destroy you, Emma, until you want no other man. You’ll be begging me for more, demanding I fuck your tight pussy because you want no other but me between your legs,” he growled huskily.

Maybe the drugs were still going strong in my bloodstream, because sweat was pooling between my legs, as well as the back of my neck. My hips had begun to rock with need, and as his hands slid further up until he held my thighs apart, his mouth hovered over the one place I craved him most.

“You want me to kiss you here?” he rasped as his tongue slid over my wet heat. I cried out with need, and made other inhuman noises. “Fuck, you taste better than the last time I kissed you here.”

I was shocked that he’d kissed me there again, for all of about two seconds before it was replaced with need. Addy once told me men didn’t normally go down there with eagerness, yet he went straight for it. My hands held the rope as he controlled my legs, which tried to trap his head in place the moment that hot, seductive tongue had touched my flesh.

“Open your legs, now,” his voice was stern and held an air of authority. I immediately obeyed him, but it wasn’t because he had control. At least that’s what I told myself. “Look at yourself,” he continued. “Look at how wet that sweet pussy is from just one lick,” he said, as he indicated just how wet he’d made me. “I’m going to make you come, and I want you to watch me do it,” he said as he moved to place pillows behind my head.

I braced for the part which would hurt, and embraced it. Only he had no plans of penetrating me. Yet. He sat between my legs and stroked his cock slowly; the silken skin had swollen, leaving a monster of a cock in its place. I’d watched R-rated movies, and yes, even some XXX-rated ones, and I was pretty sure I could make the educated guess that they seriously didn’t make men like him anymore. I’d now seen it a few times, and was pretty sure I hadn’t imagined its magnitude.

“You were made for it,” he said guessing where my thoughts had gone to. “You’ll take it all and more if I tell you to.”

“That thing isn’t normal,” I whispered.

“Says the twenty-one year old virgin?” he smiled.

“Are you going to do it?” I asked unsure of how he planned to make me come, and if he’d be inside of me for it. I just knew there was a serious pressure in the lower part of my body and I felt like a needy bitch. I wanted him to make it happen again, and by happen, I meant right freaking now.

“It’s not going to be fast, Emma, I told you that. I’m going to need to prepare you for me, and that’s going to take time…which I plan to enjoy. Have you ever sucked a cock?”

I blinked. “Virgin?”

“Fuck, this is going to be so much fun. I’m going to enjoy this far more than I thought I would. I think this may actually take days to do properly,” he said with a devilish grin on his face.

I had a feeling by the time I left him tomorrow, I’d be hardly able to walk. He reached up and pinched one nipple and then the other, his eyes never leaving mine. His other hand pushed against my pubic bone with just enough pressure that heat flared in my core.

“You know one of the good things about being a vampire, Emma?”

“What?”

He focused intently on what he was doing to me, “I can hear your heart speed up when you’re afraid, or when you like something. For example, you like it. You get turned on waiting for it to turn from pain to pleasure,” he whispered as he bit his lower lip seductively.

“Pain is not a good thing,” I whispered.

He smiled. “No?” he asked as his hands left my body and he lifted both of my legs up. My ass was fully exposed. I felt a bead of trepidation as his hand slapped my flesh sharply.

I cried out, and yes, for all of ten seconds I wanted to slap him for doing this to me as I had the first time. Only, I felt my heart beat faster with anticipation for the pleasure it would bring. The next one burned my flesh, and yet my pussy grew wetter as it had the first time he’d done this. The next one was harder, but no longer painful. The sound of his hand as it smacked my flesh burned my ears but his hand against my flesh was pleasurable. I’d surely have a red ass in the morning, but the moment his hand massaged it, I moaned with pleasure. He pulled his hand away and slapped it harder, this time he allowed his hand to slap between my legs with the perfect weight behind it.

“Fucking hell, you’re a natural at this, sweet girl,” he said with a heavy accent this time. He released one leg and his fingers slid over my very wet opening. “You’re already wet enough to fuck.”

I pushed myself against his fingers, but he removed the hand. He leaned over me and smiled as his mouth claimed mine in a kiss of total domination. When he pulled away, he smiled, but the darkness was back.

“Who is in control?” he asked.

“You are,” I replied.

“What do you want me to do to you?”

“Everything,” I answered, surprising even myself.

“You don’t know what you are asking for, but I damn well plan to show you.”

His head lowered to my breast, where his fangs scraped across the skin painfully. I watched him as he lifted those sea green eyes to mine and bit into the soft tissue of my left breast. Pleasure erupted from deep inside of me, shaking my entire world, and spinning it from its axis. I moaned as he took the first pull, and then another. It was over as quick as it had started. He flicked one nipple, which was as hard as a pebble, and then the other.

“Good girl,” he said as he moved from the bed and placed a full size standing mirror at the end of the bed so I could see myself and him when he rejoined me. His smile was devastating as he watched my reaction to my own nakedness. “That’s what you look like to me, Emma, absolutely perfect. Do you see how much I want you? And why I want you?”

I looked as if I’d been replaced with some sultry pinup girl. My nipples were bright pink from where he’d flicked them. My core was exposed to his greedy eyes, and even from where I lay, I could see the slick mess he’d created. My hair was a mess, but it looked as if I’d planned it right down to the last strand. My lips were swollen, as if I’d spent the last hour doing nothing but kissing him.

I tore my eyes from myself as he rejoined me on the bed. He was hard, and ready. But he didn’t use it yet. Instead, he smiled as one hand parted my core and the other inserted one finger, and then another. “So fucking slippery with need; can you see how wet you are? Can you hear it? Hear the sound it makes as I fuck it, and fill it with my fingers? You’ll take more, and you’ll beg for it, Emma. By tomorrow this sweet flesh is going to be swollen and sore from me fucking it. You’ll remember it for days, and then right when your sweet pussy starts to recover, I’ll fuck it again, only harder.”

“Mmm, yes,” I murmured around moans. He inserted another finger, and then his thumb slid over my clit and I twisted in his hold.

“Part your legs, now,” he growled and I tried my best to do as he asked. The noise of his fingers as they entered and parted my flesh eventually took over. “Fuck them,” he encouraged, and then smiled. “Like this,” he instructed as he pushed them inside, only to use his other hand as he slid it beneath my ass and lifted and then lowered at a steady pace. “Like that, now don’t take your eyes from mine. I want to see you as this pussy clenches against my fingers, and your sweet juices building to take more. Feel the way it’s sucking against them as it begs for more?” he stopped the hand which remained under my ass, as he inserted another finger until it was painfully full. “Fuck, you’re so tight.”

“Jaeden,” I whimpered as I felt the growing tension coil in my belly.

“Let it go, and come for me, Emma, come hard.”

I shattered. My body felt boneless as blackness filled my mind. Stars erupted as my body continued rocking, even though his hand had stopped moving. I tried to keep my eyes locked with his, but I couldn’t see anything. I was still in that euphoric state when I felt him move between my legs.

I moaned as I felt him nudge my legs further apart. “I can’t wait any longer to be inside of you,” he growled before he pushed his cock inside of me.

There was pain. So much pain that I cried out as my body pushed away from his where he was tearing me apart from the inside. He groaned as I screamed, my nails cut through the soft tissue in the palm of my hand. “We don’t fucking fit! Get that damn thing out of me!” I wailed.

“Emma, stop moving,” he replied gutturally. “There’s a lot of blood.”

“Odin, Mercy, Fucking, Glory! Holy Satan’s golden dick, that shit hurts!” I babbled as I tried to get away from that thing.

He laughed. He fucking
laughed!
His grip had tightened so I couldn’t move away from him. I tried to stop the need I felt to get him out of me. I could smell my own blood, and when I looked up at him, it was to find his eyes glowing red and his fangs dangerously long. No wonder he’d sounded all guttural and shit. I was fucking Dracula! It put an entirely different spin on Vlad the Impaler!

He pulled out a fraction and moved it back inside. Tears trailed down my cheeks. His eyes locked with mine as he reached up and tore the ropes that held my hands in place easily. His hands captured mine, as he gathered my wrist in one of his large hands, brought them down against my stomach. His other hand lifted one leg, and then the other, until they both rested on his shoulders. He pulled out and began moving slowly.

“You fit me like a glove,” he growled.

“No shit! Dude, you ripped me open, that thing is never gonna be the same again!”

He gave me a wicked grin. “I believe I told you that that was my plan from the start of this, didn’t I?”

After a few moments of his gyrating hips, it stopped hurting and started to feel good. No, wait, it started to feel really good. The pleasure began to spike and throb. I bucked against him for more as my eyes closed. “Oh hell,” I growled, matching his own tone. “That’s nice.”

“Fuck, you’re so sweet,” he whispered as he pulled out to the tip and then drove his cock deep inside. “Too sweet, Emma, you need to come for me.”

As if he needed to remind me? I was falling over that cliff like a cliff diver on steroids. It took exactly three more moments of him rocking those hips for me to find my happy place and jump. My nipples hardened and slick heat filled my center right before I detonated and screamed his name to the throaty sound of his laughter.

I felt his body tense as his cock pushed inside harder, and then my legs were pushed to my shoulders and he let loose. The sound of flesh meeting flesh was erotic and filled the room. His grunts met my moans and I exploded again. I’d heard that virgins didn’t get off the first time normally, which, let’s just say, helped me keep my V-card for so long. What the fricking hell was the point in doing it if only he got off? Jaeden was proving everything but the pain part wrong.

“Good girl,” he whispered as he claimed my lips. His entire body went tight and new warmth filled my center. He was coming, and his eyes held mine captive as I watched his pupils dilate with pleasure. And, after a few moments, his fangs retreated back to a normal size. This sexual tension between us had been leading up to this moment, and right now, I didn’t regret my choice.

When he was finished, he got up and walked his very firm, very sexy naked backside across the room and retrieved a cloth. I watched him leave the room and return with it wet. He washed the blood from between my legs and then kissed the sensitive nub which now felt severely swollen.

He crawled onto the bed and lay beside me, pulling my body close to his. “Thank you for the gift, Emma. It was worth the chase, and the blue balls to get it.”

“I gave you blue balls?”

“Woodpecker.”

I blushed, but barely concealed the sultry smile from him. Fricking woodpeckers. “I’m glad I saved it for you.” I said as sleep overtook my eyes and mind.

“Get some rest; round two starts soon,” was the whispered warning that filtered through my foggy brain.

He pulled me close and tucked me into the protection of his arms. I slept, blissfully unaware of anything else in the world except for how cherished I felt locked in his embrace.