Darkest Before Dawn (A Guardian's Diary Book 1) (20 page)

Chapter 23

I was sore. As in, I wasn’t sure walking was an option. I’d soaked in his tub sometime before dawn, since he said it would help. Guess what. He lied. He’d taken me until I was pretty sure my bones had melted and my organs had been beaten to mush with his magic stick. I’d screamed for more
just as he said I would
; had he warned me about the day after, I probably would have run away screaming instead. Last night, he had put a new meaning of stamina in my mental dictionary. It must have been at least two hours of him rocking my body until he came completely undone, and that had been the last of six other times he’d taken me.

I had just woken up when I heard an angry hiss. I popped open one bleary eye to find Astrid’s unhappy face competing with the early afternoon sunlight for first place of ‘things I would rather not see today’. In the bits and pieces Jaeden had shared last night, one of which was the tidbit that he’d given her a divorce declaration in front of witnesses’ centuries ago, but she refused to be sent away. He also recommended that I stay away from her, not just because he said she was unbalanced, but because she was protected by Shamus and it was something he couldn’t go against. I’d been sharp enough to notice it was a sore subject and it was best to let it go—for now, at least.

“What are you still doing here?” she demanded in a shrieking tone.

“Awe, are you sad that your little Spanish fly crap didn’t work the way you thought it would?” I asked as I pulled the sheets around me and glared at the bitch.

“He will want you gone by the time he returns. He never wants to see the bitches he fucks afterwards, so run on home.” She shooed her hands at me as she walked over to the only dresser in the room and pulled out female clothes.

Why would Jaeden have her clothes in his room? I narrowed my eyes as she walked back over and tossed the worn jeans and tank top at me. “Obviously it won’t be an exact fit since you look more like a boy.” She sniffed disdainfully.

Did she really just go there? “Well yeah, but not all women come out of a plastic mold from the Mattel factory. Some of us are actually real.”

“Is that a compliment?” she narrowed her cold blue eyes on me with a threat bared in them.

“Not at all,” I smiled as I used my best fake-bitch voice.

“He’s mine,” she sneered.

“Please, he was pretty clear that he got rid of your ass long ago. I think it was something like…he would rather fuck a flying monkey before he would touch you again.” Yeah, I was being catty and poking the bitch, but there was no way I was going to let her push me around or intimidate me.

“You think you’re the first woman to catch his eye? I’ve watched hundreds of you walk into his room and you all have had one thing in common. He never fucks you again. Period. He chased me through the fjords of Norway and married me. I was his love and he showed it by making me his wife. This is all just a game and you are only here to piss me off; remember it.” She glared at me with a nasty little smirk.  “What? You think he didn’t help me plan this little charade to get you in to his bed? I’m always in his plans; now get the fuck out of
my
bedroom.”

I swallowed down my retort as last night’s events replayed in my mind. Had they set me up? No, he’d been too willing to get Lachlan if I’d wanted him and he had warned me she was cuckoo. I grabbed the clothes she’d tossed on the bed and dressed quickly before grabbing the pile of my things that were salvageable. I swallowed past the rage that was quickly taking root where the shame had been. Jaeden might have left, but he hadn’t sent her in here; she was bitter and it showed in her words. She’d be too easy to kill, but the fact that I was at an estate, surrounded by vampires soured that idea.

“Where is he?”

“Gone,” she answered as her big mountain of a servant moved into the room silently and stood behind her. In the little bit that Jaeden had shared, he said that Astrid had acquired the Moor around the time Shamus was in Spain; he was originally a eunuch slave that had his tongue cut out. She found him in a slave market, purchased and turned him. He was extremely dangerous and would do anything for Astrid. As much as I resented his involvement, I couldn’t help but feel sorry for him.

“Where?” Didn’t they hand out brains at the Mattel factory?

“He left for Seattle this morning,” she said coldly.

He’d left? Without a freaking word! Bastard. “My friend?”

“Well-serviced; she’s somewhere down with the other cows I’m sure.”

“Cows?” Was this bitch for real?

“Your kind,” she said sickly sweet.

“My
kind
keep
your
kind alive, remember that, Barbie.”

I managed to keep in the sheer rage I currently felt for Jaeden and the need to bury this bitch out back, which was looking really good in my head right now. I’d given myself to him and he’d left like thief in the night without so much as a goodbye or thank you. I mean, I realize it wasn’t the best timing or planned at all, really, but was a little heads up too much to ask after I’d been pretty damn understanding about his crazy, Barbie doll looking ex-wife drugging me. So why the hell would he leave without saying anything?

I rounded the corner and left the manor in an angry huff. I found a very embarrassed Addy sitting outside one of the massive tents that surrounded the estate.

“You look pissed, Emma,” she said warily.

“Are you done here? Or I don’t know, do you need to fuck a few more guys before I can take you home?” I snapped. I regretted it, but I was trying not break down and become some sniveling little sissy who cried over a little spilled…blood. It was a vicious cycle, one that happened whenever I cried when I got pissed, and I hated it.

“Emma, what the hell is wrong with you?” Addy demanded as she rushed to keep up with me.

“I slept with Jaeden,” I snapped as I spun to face her and then turned and started forward again, leaving her wide eyed with her mouth hanging open.

“You hussy!” She squealed happily and I swear she skipped a little. “Are you okay, Emma? It’s a big step…you little slut!”

“
Me?
I heard you were being passed around! What the fuck is wrong with you! Why the hell would you leave the shelter to be changed?”

“I didn’t come here to be a vampire, I came to ask them questions about them being vampires, and yeah, I’m pretty sure I was plastered and then shit happened and well, I’m pretty sure I had three and none making deposits in the same—”

“Eww, too much info!” I plugged my ears as I beat feet through the woods as if I was running a marathon. We made it to the little clearing where the jagged rocks were, when I smelled the first sign of smoke. My heart dropped to my feet as I ignored Addy’s questioning look and took off in the direction of the shelter.

“No,” I screamed as I ran the rest of the way with what little strength I had from not sleeping. Adrenaline kicked in as I stopped cold in front of the shelter. Bodies were charred and littered around the front of it, burned beyond recognition.

“Grayson!” I screamed as loud as my voice would go, pain lanced through me with the realization that I’d been screwing a vampire while the shelter had been under attack. “Grayson! Answer me!”

“Oh my God. Who would have done this?” Addy asked as her eyes searched the charred walls of the entry to the shelter.

“Grayson!” I shouted as I stumbled into the charred opening of the shelter, but beyond that point it wasn’t burnt. It was spattered in blood, and Grayson was there, sitting beside Maggie. “Grayson, oh my God,” I said as I fell to my knees beside him and pulled him into my arms.

“Where were you?” he accused, tears tracked down his cheeks. “You talk all this shit about protecting us but where the hell were you when we needed you!? Emma, where the hell were you! You left us!”

“I need to get Maggie to the medical center. Help me, Grayson,” I pleaded as I swiftly turned his rage against me into help. I deserved it, I got it. I’d fucked up, big time. “Who did this?”

“I don’t know, I didn’t see. Maggie hid me, and locked me in your bedroom. I just heard the screams, oh, Emma, the screams were so bad. They were looking for us I think. Maybe Dad is alive? Maybe he sent them. Maybe it went bad, and he thought they were good guys.”

“Grayson, dad wouldn’t send anyone who would attack us to find us,” I assured him. It didn’t bode well for us either way. “They take anything? Food, supplies, weapons…anything like that?”

“I don’t know, I just heard them.”

“Okay, help me get Maggie up, Addy, check for pulses on those people outside. Try to get everyone organized—those who are wounded worst, in for treatment first. I’ll do what I can.”

I did a surface test on Maggie, which included running my hands over her looking for any blood wounds, or anything protruding. She had blood leaking from her chest, and a lot of it. Grayson brought the gurney I’d stolen from the med center, and together we hefted Maggie up and on to it.

When we got her to the sterile room, I stripped out of my clothes and into the scrubs before I washed and put on gloves and a surgical mask. It wouldn’t be perfectly sterile, but I had some pretty good antibiotics I’d taken from the CDC when they’d deserted their post. I put on the surgical headset, and flipped on the light before working to intubate her after I discovered she’d stopped breathing.

I had been finishing my training to be a surgical tech so I knew I was in way over my head. However, I was Maggie’s only chance right now and I was working against the clock, since I didn’t have a time-line and I was pretty sure the Golden Hour was well over by now. I sealed the room with the pedal and set to work the moment I got her hooked up to the machines to read her vitals.

I removed her clothes, and then quickly rewashed and gloved my hands. I couldn’t allow her to die, even if it meant fighting God for her soul. I’d asked her to protect my brother and she’d ended up hurt because I’d given in to temptation.

I was startled when Lachlan pounded on the door. His eyes were filled with worry, but I spared him only a quick glance before getting to work. The red light was on outside the door, so hopefully he could figure out that this was a sterile room.

He was male, so it was possible he wouldn’t.

I cut into her side and searched for the wound, only I couldn’t find anything. I was so busy in the task at hand that I didn’t hear Lachlan when he entered or when he stepped on the suction tube pedal and started assisting. I looked up at him and almost moaned with relief when it became apparent that he knew what he was doing. He was scrubbed, gloved, and gowned just like I was.

“I don’t really know what I’m doing,” I admitted as I continued to search for a visual on the bleed.

“I do, ye will need tae assist me, Lass.”

“So, you could have helped your brother with that trap on your own?” I asked sourly.

“Aye, I wanted tae see if ye would, or if ye would leave him tae die. I also wanted to ken what ye were aboot in the house,” he said and cracked a little grin behind the mask which dimmed as he took in the damage of Maggie’s body.

We worked for hours, neither one of talking more than was needed. He didn’t ask what happened and I didn’t ask where the hell he’d been. I couldn’t because he’d flip it back on me and I wasn’t ready to admit what I’d been doing while my people were being slaughtered.

Maggie was stable when we placed her in in the nearby recovery room and started on the next person, and then the next. It felt like days before Addy finally told us that no one else had made it long enough to need surgery. The shelter still had residents, but all had been wounded, had fled, or had been hidden on the other levels and weren’t discovered by our attackers.

No supplies had been taken, nor had they come for our things. Had they come for me and my brother? I felt sick at the senseless acts, because I couldn’t think of anyone who’d want us dead, but there were always people trying to take what others had by force, and the possibility of the attackers being sent by my dad were close to zero.

“Lass, what the hell happened?” Lachlan asked as Liam fell in step beside him.

“I don’t know. I wasn’t here,” I croaked as tears choked my words.

“Where were ye?” he asked gently, but I could hear it in his voice that he already knew.

“I fucked up, okay? I’m human unlike everyone else here!” Tears slid from my eyes as I turned around only to find Jaeden standing in the doorway. “Close the doors,” I snapped and took off to wash the blood from my face and body.

“Emma?” he called as he got closer.

“Go back to your wife! Leave me alone, Jaeden. Just get the hell out of here. I can’t deal with you and this right now,” I growled angrily as yet another body was brought inside to be prepared for burial. They’d been burned with gas, which meant we could actually bury our own for once. I couldn’t handle him and do what needed to be done at the same time. I felt like two different people, or as if I had to be in order to be around him.

There was me with him, where I was careless and a little wild. Then there was me when I was here, and I had to be in full control, I had to lead. I didn’t know how to be both at the same time, and even if I didn’t believe his murderous, plotting whore of a wife, he’d left me without so much as a goodbye, and well, then there was the guilt I felt for being with him, instead of the people I was supposed to protect.

“What the fuck happened here?” Jaeden asked me, and then Lachlan when I refused to answer him.

“I dinnae smell any other vamps, or wolves. This was human or something
else
,” Lachlan said as I left them to discuss it without me.

“No human could have done this,” I heard Jaeden hiss at Lachlan as I retreated.

No, but whatever kind of monster
I
was, could have done this. Easily. From the timeline where Lachlan and his men had left, and from what Grayson and the other residents had told me, it had taken seconds to do this much damage in the attack.

We were getting caught up in an all-out war with rogue werewolves, but now I had to face the fact that I was going to have to find the person who had done this and kill them. I felt a bone deep coldness inside of me that would never go away. I’d done this. My careless, selfish actions had brought this upon us. Whoever it was had come to do harm, and had killed people who trusted me. Whatever the fuck they were, I wanted nothing from dirt bags that would harm innocent people.