Do Elephants Jump? (36 page)

Funeral homes, size of

Funerals

burials without shoes

depth of graves

head position of, in caskets

orientation of deceased

perpetual care and

small cemeteries and

“Funk”

“G.I.”

Gagging, hairs in mouth and

Gallons and quarts, American versus British

Game balls, distribution of football

Gasoline, pricing of, in tenths of a cent

Gasoline gauges, automobile

Gasoline pumps

rubber sleeves on

shut off of

Gasoline stations, full-service versus self-service, pricing of

Gasoline, unleaded, cost of

Gauge, width of railroad

Gauges, fuel, in automobiles

Geese, honking during migration

Gelatin, fruit in

“Gerrymander”

“Get the sack”

“Get your goat”

“Getting down to brass tacks”

Gifts, children and

Girdles and fat displacement

Glass, broken

Glasses, drinking

squeakiness of

“sweating” of

Glasses, wine, types of

Glitter, sidewalks and

Glow-in-the-dark items, green color of

Glue

stickiness in the bottle

“Super” versus conventional

“Super,” and Teflon

taste of postage stamp

Glutamates, MSG and

Gnats, swarming of

Goalies, banging of sticks by

Goalposts, football, tearing down of

“Goat”

Goats, kids versus adult

“Gobbledygook”

Gold bullion, shape of

Golf

origins of eighteen holes

origins of term “fore”

pain of mishits

Golf balls

dimples on

veering toward ocean while putting

Golfers and sunglasses

Gondolas, black color of

“Good Friday,” origins of term

Goofy

identify of

marital status of

Goofy, Jr., origins of

Goosebumps, faces and

Gorillas, chest pounding of

Gowns, and caps, at graduations

Grades in school, E

Grading of cigarettes

Grading of eggs, meaning of

Graduations, military academy

“Grandfather” clock, origins of term

Grape jellies, color of

Grapefruit, sweetness of, canned versus fresh

“Grape-nuts”

Grapes, raisins and

Gravel and placement on flat roofs

Graves, depth of

Gravy skin loss, when heated

“Gravy train”

Grease, color of

Grecian Formula, process of

Greek names of fraternities and sororities

Green beans, “French” style

Green color of glow-in-the-dark items

Green lights, versus red lights, on boats and airplanes

“Green with envy”

“Green” cards, color of

“Greenhorn”

Greeting cards, shape of

Gretzky, Wayne, hockey uniform of

Grimace, identity of McDonald’s

Grocery coupons, cash value of

Grocery sacks, names on

Grocery stores and check approval

Groom, carrying bride over threshold by

Growling of stomach, causes of

Guitar strings, dangling of

Gulls, sea, in parking lots

Gum, chewing

water consumption and hardening of

wrappers of

“Gunny sacks”

“Guy”

“Habit [riding costume]”

“Hackles”

Hail, measurement of

Hair

blue, and older women

growth of, after death

length of, in older women

mole, color of

parting, left versus right

Hair color, darkening of, in babies

Hair spray, unscented, smell of

Hairbrushes, length of handles on

Hairs in mouth, gagging on

Hairy ears in older men

Half dollars, vending machines and

“Halfback

Half-mast, flags at

Half-moon versus quarter moon

Half-numbers in street addresses

Halibut, coloring of

Halloween, Jack-o’-lanterns and

Halogen light bulbs, touching of

Ham

checkerboard pattern atop

color of, when cooked

Easter and consumption of

“Ham [actor]”

Hamburger buns, bottoms of

“Hamburger,” origins of term

“Hamfatter”

Hand dryers in bathrooms

Hand positions in old photographs

Handles versus knobs, on doors

Handwriting, teaching of cursive versus printing

“Hansom cab”

Happy endings, crying and

Hard hats

backward positioning of, in ironworkers

exterminators and

Hard-boiled eggs, discoloration of

Hat tricks, in hockey

Hats

cowboy, dents on

declining popularity

dents in cowboy

holes in sides of

numbering system for sizes

Haystacks, shape of

“Hazard [dice game]”

“Head [bathroom]”

“Head honcho”

Head injuries, “seeing stars” and

Head lice, kids and

Headaches and aspirin

Headbands on books

Headlamps, shutoff of automobile

“Heart on his sleeve”

Hearts, shape of, idealized versus real

Heat and effect on sleep

“Hector”

“Heebie jeebies”

Height

clearance signs on highways

of elderly

restrictions on fences

voice pitch and

Heinz ketchup labels

Helicopters, noise of

Helium and effect on voice

Hellman’s Mayonnaise, versus Best Foods

“Hem and haw”

“Hep”

Hermit crabs, bathroom habits of

Hernia exams and “Turn your head and cough”

“Heroin”

“High bias,” versus “low bias,” on audio tape

“High jinks”

High-altitude tennis balls

“Highball”

Highways

clumping of traffic

curves on

interstate, numbering system

traffic jams, clearing of

weigh stations

“Hillbilly”

Hills, versus mountains

“Hip”

“Hobnob”

“Hobson’s choice”

Hockey

banging of sticks by goalies

hat trick

Montreal Canadiens uniforms

Wayne Gretzky’s uniform

“Hold a candle”

“Holding the bag”

Holes

in barrels of cheap pens

in elevator doors

in fly swatters

in ice cream sandwiches

in needles and syringes

in pasta

in saltines

in thimbles

in wing-tip shoes

on bottom of soda bottles

recycling of, in loose-leaf paper

refilling of dirt

“Holland,” versus “Netherlands”

Home plate, shape of, in baseball

“Honcho”

Honey, spoilage of

Honey roasted peanuts, banning of, on airlines

Honking in geese during migration

“Honky”

“Hoodwink”

“Hoosiers”

“Horsefeathers”

Horses

measurement of heights of

posture in open fields

shoes

sleeping posture

vomiting

Hospital gowns, back ties on

Hospitals and guidelines for medical conditions

Hot dog buns

number of, in package

slicing of

Hot dogs, skins of

Hot water, noise in pipes of

Hotels

amenities, spread of

number of towels in rooms

plastic circles on walls of

toilet paper folding in bathrooms of

“Hotsy totsy”

Houses, settling in

“Hue and cry”

“Humble pie”

Humidity, relative, during rain

Humming, power lines and

Hurricane, trees and

“Hurricanes” as University of Miami nickname

“Hut,” origins of football term

Hydrants, fire, freezing water in

Hypnotists, stage, techniques of

“I [capitalization of]”

“I could care less”

“I” before “e,” in spelling

Ice

fizziness of soda

formation on top of lakes and ponds

holes and dimples in

in urinals

Ice cream

black specks in

cost of cones versus cups

pistachio, color of

thirstiness

Ice cream and soda, fizziness of

Ice cream sandwiches, holes in

Ice cubes

cloudy versus clear

shape of, in home freezers

Ice rinks, temperature of resurfacing water in

Ice skating, awful music in

Ice trays in freezers, location of

Icy roads, use of sand and salt on

Ignitions

automobile, and headlamp shutoff

key release button on

Imperial gallon, versus American gallon

“In like Flynn”

“In the nick of time”

Index fingers and “Tsk-Tsk,” stroking of

“Indian corn”

“Indian pudding”

“Indian summer”

Indianapolis 500, milk consumption by victors in

“Inflammable,” versus “flammable”

Ink

color of, in ditto masters

newspaper, and recycling

Insects

attraction to ultraviolet

aversion to yellow

flight patterns of

in flour and fruit

Insects [see specific types]

Insufficient postage, USPS procedures for

Interstate highways, numbering system of

Introductions in books, versus forewords and prefaces

Irish names, “O’” in

Irons, permanent press settings on

Ironworkers, backwards hard hat wearing of

Irregular sheets, proliferation of

IRS and due date of taxes

IRS tax forms

disposal of

numbering scheme of

“Italian” bread, versus “French”

Itching, reasons for

Ivory soap, purity of

“J” Street, Washington, D.C., and

“Jack [playing card]”

Jack Daniel’s and “Old No. 7”

“Jack,” “John” versus

Jack-o’-lanterns, Halloween and

Jams, contents of

Japanese

baseball uniforms

boxes, yellow color of

flags, red beams and

Jars, food, refrigeration of opened

“Jaywalking”

Jeans

blue, orange thread and

Levis, colored tabs on

origin of “501” name

sand in pockets of new

“Jeans [pants]”

“Jeep”

Jellies, contents of

Jellies, grape, color of

Jello-O, fruit in

Jeopardy
, difficulty of daily doubles in

“Jerkers”

Jet lag, birds and

“Jetsam,” versus “flotsam”

“Jig is up”

Jigsaw puzzles, fitting pieces of

Jimmies, origins of

“Jink”

“John,” versus “Jack”

Johnson, Andrew, and 1864 election

“Joshing”

Judges and black robes

Judo belts, colors of

“Juggernaut”

Juicy Fruit gum, flavors in

“K rations”

“K” as strikeout in baseball scoring

Kangaroos, pouch cleaning of

Karate belts, colors of

“Keeping up with the Joneses”

Ken, hair of, versus Barbie’s

Ketchup, Heinz, labels of

Ketchup bottles

narrow necks of

neck bands on

restaurants mating of

“Ketchup”

“Kettle of fish”

Keys

automobile, door and ignition

piano, number of

teeth direction

to cities

“Kidnapping”

Kids versus adult goats

Kilts, Scotsmen and

Kissing

eye closure during

leg kicking by females

“Kit cat club”

“Kit,” “caboodle” and

“Kittycorner”

Kiwifruit in gelatin

Kneading and bread

Knee-jerk reflex in humans

Knives, dinner, rounded edges of

Knives, serrated, lack of, in place settings

Knobs versus handles, on doors

“Knock on wood”

“Knuckle down”

“Knuckle under”

Knuckles, wrinkles on

Kodak, origins of name

Kool-Aid and metal containers

Kraft American cheese, milk in