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“
I feel entirely responsible for
Cassie’s manipulative character, you see. Oh, I’ve always known
about it,” he said in response to their identical exclamations.
“You see, I met Madeleine when I’d just qualified as a doctor and
was doing my internship at Southampton General. She worked in the
office and was the most exquisite creature I’d ever laid eyes on.
Just about every single male in the hospital was after her, but she
already had her sights set high and wouldn’t settle for anything
less than a doctor. She was ambitiously determined to rise above
the down-market council estate where she lived with her divorced
mother.”

“
Good God!” Maxine and Noah spoke
in unison.

Charles smiled. “Hard to believe, isn’t it.
But I was in love, and when she fell pregnant with Cassie just
three months after our first date, I didn’t hesitate to marry
her.”

Noah’s expression was scathing. “Of all the
two-faced, hypocritical—”

“
I understand how you feel, really
I do, but if you want to blame anyone, blame me. You see, it wasn’t
long after Cassie was born that I realized Madeleine didn’t really
like sex as much as she’d made out she did. She always had an
excuse.” Charles’s laugh lacked any trace of humor. “Never has a
woman suffered with more headaches than my wife, so in the end I
made alternative arrangements.”

“
Does she know that?” Maxine
asked.

“
I’m sure she does, but she never
mentions it. Nor does she question me about any of my activities
that don’t impact my career. We worked out an arrangement that
suited us both, without ever discussing it. She turned herself into
the sort of wife who could only be an asset to me while I worked my
way up the greasy pole. Eventually, we moved here where no one
could ever guess at Madeleine’s humble origins. That matters to
her, you see.”

Charles paused, his expression contemplative
as he took a sip of his drink. “She immersed herself in charitable
works and set herself up as the leader of various local
institutions, which seems to be enough for her.”

“
I don’t see why you should blame
yourself for that,” Maxine remarked.

“
No, it’s not that which concerns
my conscience. My biggest mistake was being away from home so much
and leaving the rearing of Cassie almost entirely to Madeleine, who
was able to influence her when she was at her most impressionable.
By the time I realized she was turning Cassie into a replica of
herself, it was too late to stop the rot.”

“
That hardly makes you responsible
for what she did to me,” Noah said.

“
Possibly not.”

“
I guess that’s why you didn’t
blow a fuse when she told you she was pregnant.”

Charles nodded.

“
You were kinder to me than I
deserved. I’ve always wondered about that.”

“
Well, I could hardly berate you
for doing to Cassie what I’d done to her mother eighteen years
previously, but I still wondered if she was being honest. In the
end I just assumed you must be sure. You see, I knew she’d been
after you for ages and that you didn’t think much of her, so I
assumed you’d satisfied yourself that the baby was yours before
agreeing to marry her.”

“
Why didn’t you, Noah?” Maxine
asked.

“
When she told me she was
pregnant, I was appalled and probably wasn’t thinking straight. I
was suspicious, of course, but she displayed such dignity. I’d
never seen her behave like that before, and it completely threw me.
She assured me that she didn’t sleep around, that the child was
mine, and she’d consent to a DNA test if I had any doubts. She also
said I didn’t have to be involved with the baby, but she was going
to keep it. That was so unlike the little I knew about Cassie that
I was impressed by her determination and agreed to stand by
her.”

Maxine nodded. “And she knew that, having been
primed by me about your feelings in respect of fatherless
children.”

“
Yes, manipulative people are
often very clever,” Charles said. “Anyway, all I could do in the
meantime was watch from the sidelines and hope that I was wrong
about Josh. But I saw how unhappy you were, Noah, how torn apart
you were by your feelings for the kids and your growing irritation
with Cassie. Your marriage was like a caldron bubbling away, and I
knew that something had to give sooner or later. I bumped into
Maxine again, got an insight into her life, and knew she wasn’t
happy either. Then her job came to an end just at a time when
Graham was seeking a partner and…Well, I didn’t really know what I
expected to get out of my meddling, but somehow it felt as though
she was meant to come back here.” He let out a short bark of a
laugh. “Call it an old man’s arrogance, if you like.”

“
It was brave of you to tell us,
Charles,” Maxine said, her hand still trapped in Noah’s.

“
I wanted to apologize and to see
if there was anything I could do to make matters right.”

Noah flashed a brief smile. “When I figure out
how to do that, you’ll be the first to know.”

“
Do you know who Josh’s father
is?” Charles asked.

“
No, Cassie’s still refusing to
admit that it’s anyone other than me.”

“
It could well be Graham, I
suppose,” Charles mused. “Perhaps we should ask him.”

“
If it is, I doubt that he’s
aware,” Noah said. “He adores Cassie, and if he’d known she was
carrying his child he’d never have let her get away from him.
Anyway, I don’t want to ask him, because I don’t want anyone else
to know about this just yet. As far as I’m concerned, I’m Josh’s
father in every way that matters. And if word of it should reach
Josh’s ears, he’s old enough to understand, and I don’t want to put
him through that.”

“
Yes, you are his father,” Maxine
said, squeezing his hand. “And you always will be. Anyway, now’s
not the time to speak to Graham because his father died this
morning.”

“
I’m sorry,” Charles said, “I
didn’t know that.” He stood up. “I’ll have to see if there’s
anything I can do. Are you coming home, Noah?”

“
Go,” Maxine said when he
hesitated, standing up and pulling his by his hand. “We’ll talk
some more tomorrow, but right now your place is with the
children.”

Chapter
Twenty-Three

Since confronting her about Josh’s paternity,
Noah had barely spoken a word to Cassie, civil or otherwise. His
contemptuous attitude was proving even harder to endure than his
blistering anger. At least when he’d been shouting at her he was
still acknowledging that she existed. She felt isolated,
beleaguered, and more alone than she’d ever been in her life,
convinced that no one cared whether she lived or died.

Her father had rearranged his appointments for
the week and intended to remain at home. He wasn’t treating her
with the same tight-lipped disapproval she was getting from her
mother, but he couldn’t entirely conceal his disappointment in her
either, and that only increased her wretchedness.

Cassie had screwed up, but didn’t know how to
make matters right. Should she make a grand confession after the
children had gone to bed? Try to explain about the situation she’d
found herself in twelve years ago, how petrified she’d
been?

She watched Noah and her mother, sitting
side-by-side, laughing as they played snap with the boys. Cassie
could barely believe her eyes. The two of them had been
superficially polite to one another over the years, but not once
had they pretended to either like or approve of one another.
Suddenly all her mother’s most dearly held principles appeared to
have been set aside, just because she thought Noah had been badly
treated. She hadn’t even bothered to ask Cassie, her own flesh and
blood, for her side of the story. Instead she simply assumed the
worst.

They didn’t understand what it was like to be
her. None of them did. It was all right for people like Rachel. She
could behave how she pleased, bring up her children her own way,
and everyone said how wonderful she was to cope so well with her
growing family and her own business. But then Rachel had always had
Joey.

Cassie scowled when she thought about that,
wondering if Rachel actually realized how lucky she was. Cassie
could have done just as much with her life if Noah had given her a
little encouragement. Not that there was anything she had
particularly wanted to be, other than Noah’s wife and the mother of
his children, but that was hardly the point. Everyone just assumed
that she would match up to her mother’s exacting standards without
once bothering to ask what she wanted for herself.

Cassie’s hands trembled, and not just with
anger. She needed a drink so badly that she felt perspiration
breaking out on her brow, but didn’t dare approach the cabinet and
give her mother an excuse to let rip at her. She searched about for
a distraction, but could find nothing to take her mind off her
cravings. The children didn’t need her, her mother had curtly
declined her offer of help in the kitchen, and she couldn’t
concentrate for long enough to either read or watch television.
Feeling isolated and barely in control, she curled her feet beneath
her on the coach, closed her eyes, and pretended to fall
asleep.

After the children went to bed, matters only
got worse. She heard her father and Noah in his study, laughing
together, the sound of bottle touching glass and liquid being
poured. It was so unfair! She was upset too, but no one had asked
if she’d like a drink.

To cap it all, even Graham was denied to her.
Devastated by his father’s death, he probably hadn’t spared a
thought for her. But then, why would he? No one else had. She was
sorry about his father, of course, but he was old and hadn’t been
well for a long time, so his death couldn’t have come as that much
of a surprise.

She drummed her fingers on the arm of her
chair as she tried to take an interest in the television program
her mother was watching, wondering if she dare ask for a glass of
wine. That hardly rated as alcohol, did it? One look at the rigid
set to her mother’s features, and she decided against it. She was
grateful when her father entered the room. Noah would be with him,
and she’d force him to talk to her, or die in the
attempt.

But he was alone.

“
Where’s Noah?” she
asked.

“
He’s gone out for some
air.”

Some air! Cassie felt her cheeks flood with
color, the only outlet for her inchoate anger. Air indeed! She knew
precisely whom he’d gone to, and why. And there wasn’t a damned
thing she could do about it. She could hardly complain, not with
her mother in such an uncompromising mood and her father appearing
to support Noah’s defection. She couldn’t even think of an excuse
to go out for a while and escape the oppressive atmosphere in the
house. She didn’t have the energy to justify a decision that
shouldn’t need justifying, nor was she in the mood for a battle of
wills she was unlikely to win.

And so Cassie sat in a state of suppressed
misery, resenting the fact that she was being treated as though she
was Josh’s age. She plucked restlessly at the sleeve of her sweater
as she responded listlessly to her father’s attempts at
conversation, grateful that at least someone had remembered she was
still alive.

She went to bed early, hoping her mother
wouldn’t realize that Noah intended to sleep with the boys. She
couldn’t sleep herself, of course, and shortly after going to bed
she heard the front door open and her father’s car start up. An
hour later he returned, and she heard him in muted conversation
with Noah. Just for a moment a spark of hope lit the darkest
recesses of her mind as his steps approached the room they’d always
shared in this house. He’d gotten over his disappointment and would
join her in bed. A rush of euphoria swept through her, but the
glimmer died as his steps passed her door without pausing and she
heard him enter the room that the boys shared, softly closing the
door behind him.

Things didn’t improve the following day. Noah
needed to go to his office for a few hours and took both the boys
with him, even though Josh couldn’t walk without crutches and ought
to be resting. Cassie suggested that she go, too, but Noah didn’t
even bother to respond. Her father was out somewhere, and it was
her mother’s morning to help at the Citizens Advice Bureau.
Cassie’s head whirled with relief. She’d be alone with Amy, who
always slept through a big chunk of the morning, so no one would
notice if she helped herself to just a small tot of the vodka her
father kept in his study.

Her mother was watching the bottles in the
drinks cabinet in the dining room like a hawk—Cassie wouldn’t even
be surprised if she’d marked their levels—but no one would think of
checking on her father’s private stash. Cassie salivated at the
mere thought of the soothing effect that just one drink would have
on her overwrought system, and counted the moments until it was
time for her mother to leave.

But it wasn’t to be. Her mother looked at her
with an expression that spoke volumes, and said she wasn’t going
out that morning. Feeling almost sick with disappointment, Cassie
wondered how she was supposed to drag herself through the rest of
the day. Every bone in her body ached, as did her head.