Edward Van Halen: A Definitive Biography (35 page)

EVH: Yep, yep. Can’t read a note, just like me. I can’t read music.

DJ: Even now, you still can’t read music?

EVH: I need to see what my fingers are doing. I’m not Jose Feliciano or Ray Charles. I don’t care what color my piano is, though. It’s the only thing I’ve got in common with them. [Laughs.]

DJ: Well, you’ve obviously seen all the rumors swirling around the internet.

EVH: I, I tell ya, I don’t look at, you know, at any of that.

DJ: Seriously? None of the fan web pages, you don’t check out?

EVH: What’s the point?

DJ: Well, I don’t know, just keep tabs—

EVH: I have a life. 25 hours in a day is not enough for me to accomplish the things I need to do, let alone the things I want to do.

DJ: Yeah. It’s got to be cool that you’re still so important to all the Van Halen fans.

EVH: You know, I really appreciate it, but, believe it or not, I have to please myself first.

DJ: Well, that’s the best way to approach it.

EVH: Well, you know, people have taken that for selfish into selfishness.

DJ: Yeah.

EVH: You have to be selfish, otherwise I can’t be there for anyone.

DJ: Uh-huh.

EVH: If I don’t care of myself.

DJ: But four years worth of work, and you promise it’s gonna be—

EVH: I got, I got enough ten fuckin’ records.

DJ: [Laughter.] Well, let’s just concentrate on the next one.

EVH: It’s just a matter of, hey, pick any CD. You know? There’s a record.

DJ: By the way, on the next record, who’s gonna be singing?! [Laughter.]

EVH: It just might be my son.

DJ: [Laughter.] Well, hey, we appreciate you talkin’ to us, Eddie.

EVH: Ah, you’re welcome.

DJ: Happy Thanksgiving.

EVH: Same to you.

DJ: Bye.

EVH: Bye-bye.

Setting the Stage for Sammy’s Return

Edward’s one and only bit of output in 2003 was on Steve Lukather’s Christmas album
Santa
Mental
. Steve’s rocking version of “Joy to the World” is punctuated with a series of fairly nice solos by Eddie. It gave fans a reason to rejoice, not just for the season, but for the fact that Ed was indeed doing something, and that something was still playing—even if that playing took place on a hokey semi-metal Christmas album.

The almost complete and total lack of inactivity was startling in a way, and in a lot of ways simply made no economic sense. As such, Irving Azoff, who was managing Sammy at the time, stuck his nose in to get the ball rolling. Alex and Sammy had always had a generally positive relationship and had always stayed in touch with each other once or twice per year. At the urging of Azoff, Alex made a call to Sammy in late 2003. Sam told Al he and his family were soon going to be in Laguna Beach and that Al should come visit. On New Year’s Eve, Alex brought along his new wife and their son and talked through some things from noon to midnight. During the visit, Edward called Alex on his cell phone. Al simply handed the phone over to Sammy and Ed immediately lit into him asking “Why’d you quit the band?” Sammy said, “It was late at night and I figured the guy was wasted.”

On January 9, 2004, Dwyer and Michaels called up Eddie again at his house unannounced and proceeded to get a lot of information out of him. A transcription of nearly the entire interview with some commentary follows:

DJ: [It’s] the dudes in Iowa! . . . How are ya, buddy?

EVH: Great.

DJ: Good holidays?

EVH: Yeah.

DJ: Awesome.

EVH: Every day’s a holiday.

DJ: One quick question and then we’ll let you go. Where are you gonna be tonight? Any place in particular?

EVH: Sleeping.

DJ: Are you sure? Before that? Like say…

EVH: I’m still up, I’m writin’.

DJ: And, and tonight…

EVH: [Ed is playing guitar.] Huh?

DJ: That sounds cool.

EVH: What do you mean? You didn’t hear anything.

DJ: We did! We could hear—do it again.

EVH: Nah, I can’t do that.

DJ: I’ll just do it—Walnut Creek, California? Does that mean anything?

EVH: Walnut Creek?

DJ: Good, you’re writing it down, because you’re supposed to be there to announce a big Van Halen reunion.

EVH: Yeah, I heard about that.

DJ: Yeah, that’s where Sammy’s playing tonight, so you, Sam, Mike…

EVH: That’s where he’s playing tonight?

DJ: Yeah… . your brother. It’s all gonna happen. No truth to that, huh?

EVH: So Sammy’s playing, my brother’s playing, and I’m not?

DJ: No, no, no, no—your brother’s probably gonna pick you up around 6:30, seven… that’s why we called to make sure you’re ready.

EVH: Wow…

DJ: Man, you’re the best secret-keeper that we’ve ever talked to.

EVH: Hey, you know, I just make music. That’s all I do. I don’t know about secrets, I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.

DJ: So if your brother were to pick you up tonight, does he know where the Walnut Creek venue is?

EVH: More importantly, I’d have to listen back to our records and learn to play the shit.

DJ: Well, we’re thinking…

EVH:
’
Cause I don’t sit around, I don’t sit around listening to our old music—I’m always writing.

DJ: Ahhh… Well, that’s what we were thinking maybe…

EVH: Do you realize it took me ten years—my son, Wolfgang—ten-years-old before I ever played him any of our records? I, I, I started crying. I called Warner Brothers and I asked them for our whole catalog in a box, a box of each of our records. I pick him up from school, and they’re sittin’ on the bench in the shop here by the studio…

DJ: Yeah…

EVH: And I pick him up from school and we walk in and he goes, “What are all these, Dad?” And I went, “Oh… god.”

DJ: You gotta be kidding me.

EVH: Ten-years-old. He looks at me and goes, “This is all you?” And I went, “Oh, god,” and I just turned around and cried. “I’m sorry.”

DJ: Wow…

EVH: He went straight from Britney Spears and N’Sync to Daddy’s world.

DJ: Hey, that’s awesome.

EVH: And the next day, quote-unquote, verbatim, you know what he said to me?

DJ: What?

EVH: “How come nobody makes music like this anymore?”

DJ: Did you tell him “
’
Cause they’re waitin’ on you, Wofie?”

EVH: Hey…

DJ: “The world’s waitin’ on you.”

EVH: You should hear this cat, man. He is scary.

DJ: That’s what you were saying—who can play your old music better? You or him?

EVH: Oh, he’s, he’s taking it further.

DJ: Yeah?

EVH: Yeah.

DJ: Taking it up a notch. You seriously, you don’t…

EVH: I jam, I jam with him.

DJ: If you had to rip into “Eruption” now, you couldn’t play it?

EVH: Oh, yeah. That’s easy.

DJ: Let—prove it.

EVH: Oh, come on. I just broke a—I just snapped a string on my guitar. I was just goin’ in.

DJ: Really?

EVH: You caught me just in time.

DJ: Well, the Eddie we know could play it on four strings.

EVH: Yeah, except the string I need—I only need one string. [He is referring to the B string for the tapping section.] Except it happens to be the one string that’s broken.

DJ: Well, you’ve heard the rumor obviously and we didn’t expect you to confirm or deny anything but we felt we…

EVH: Well, all I can say is this, that, uh, yes, there are rumors, and I guess it’s true that there are rumors. Those rumors are rumors and that’s true.

DJ: And the rumors are true?

EVH: No.

DJ: No. It’s just true that there are rumors. OK.

EVH: Well, as far as I know.

DJ: But it’s something you would like to do, I would think, right? Play live again in front of thousands of people?

EVH: Hey, it’ll happen.

DJ: It’ll happen.

EVH: Well… [Stammering.] I will play in front of people some day again.

DJ: Some day, some day this year?

EVH: What year is it? 2004?

DJ: 2004!

EVH: Look, you know,
time
is
irrelevant
to
me
. [Pause.] As you can tell. But I haven’t slept yet—it’s 8 o’ clock in the damn morning.

DJ: Which is why…

EVH: I’m just going to bed.

DJ: Which is why we get the best stuff from you right now!

EVH: Yeah, that’s also why it’s very difficult for anyone to have a goddamn relationship with me because I’m kind of like a, a dog or a cat or an animal. I, I eat, go to the bathroom, and sleep whenever necessity… you know, whenever it hits.

DJ: As long as it’s whenever and not wherever, I think you’re OK.

EVH: Well, that’s, that’s, you know, I live in the hills so it doesn’t matter, you know? It’s like, does the, does the pope shit in the woods?

DJ: [Laughter.]

EVH: Oh, I… Are you guys, are you guys radio?

DJ: Yeah! . . .

EVH: Oh, sorry about the “shit.”

DJ: No, that’s OK, that’s OK. Hey, would you, would you like to—can we go on the air with you? Because we’re not on the air right now.