Edward Van Halen: A Definitive Biography (41 page)

EVH: And then, someone goes “Hey, that’s cool,” and I go, “You want it? Go ahead, take it.”

DJ: Can I come and visit some time? And bring a—

EVH: Any time you like because, I tell you, I can’t walk in my house.

DJ: Oh, God! Alright, Eddie, can—hang on one minute, we gotta do a couple of commercials but we’ll be back. Okay?

EVH: Okay, but, okay, but, shit…

DJ: Try not to say that though.

EVH: Oh, I’m sorry.

DJ: That’s alright. Hold on, we’ll be right back, Eddie Van—

EVH: I’ve got things to do!

DJ: We know! We know! But it, it…

EVH: It’s four in the morning, here!

DJ: Yeah, but it’s 6:30 here, it’s just gettin’—

EVH:
4:30
!

DJ: It’s getting good!

EVH: Come on. I’m right in the middle of, of working—

DJ: Of what?

EVH: —on my Wolfgang prototype guitar.

DJ: For who?

EVH: I’ve gotta send this stuff off. I’m redesigning all my equipment. And if I don’t get this off to these people
today
, then, you know, nothing at NAMM show.

DJ: You’re not, you’re not much for deadlines, are you?

EVH: Uh, no, no, no…

DJ: You had the fourteen-foot guitar…

EVH: No, no, no… Here’s the problem. Very few people keep up with my ass. It’s like, I’m always doing something. And people think I take on too much. No, I don’t. It’s like, when someone tells me they can do something, I expect them to pull through some time.
I
do.

DJ: We would be, uh, we would be completely not doing our job if we didn’t ask you if you would take phone calls from, I don’t care, you decide how many. How many, how many Van Halen fans would you accept a phone call from if we just put you on with them right now?

EVH: Right now? Two.

DJ: Two? Okay. 355-5343 is the phone number.

EVH: I need to go to the bathroom, and I need to restring a guitar, go to the studio, and check.

DJ: Do you want to do that first? Or do you want to do the calls first? He’s gotta go to the bathroom, let him go. I know but what if he doesn’t come back? He will!

EVH: Well, if you guys would just get on with it we wouldn’t have anything to worry about.

DJ: You sound like our boss now! “Would you guys just get on with it!” Alright, we’ll take two people that can talk to Eddie Van Halen right now. 355-5343. Hey, when, when we talk about these charity things that you’ve donated for, Big Brothers Big Sisters, etc., we do a thing for Toys for Tots here. And is there any way we could get, I don’t know, a plate, a guitar, you know, uh, pickguard to you, have you sign it for us and ship it back to us for our Toys for Tots auction?

EVH: Sure, why not.

DJ: You’re a pretty agreeable dude.

EVH: Hey, I got no problem, you know?

DJ: You just kind of roll with it, don’t you?

EVH: I’m probably the simplest guy you’ll ever meet… .

DJ: Alright, here is Peg. We’ll start with a gal, okay? Uh, Peg?

Peg: Good morning.

DJ: You’re on with Eddie Van Halen.

Peg: Good morning, Eddie. How are you today?

EVH: Uh, actually, I don’t know yet, it’s a little earlier here than—

Peg: It’s pretty early, it’s pretty early.

EVH: Say again?

Peg: My question is I’m very interested in what your future holds with your son. Are you going to be cutting a song with him? An album that we’re gonna hear? Or?

EVH: Well, I’ve recorded so many songs with him already.

Peg: Any idea, when will it be?

EVH: Say again?

DJ: She wants to know if it’s going to be released any time.

EVH: Oh, uh… I don’t know.

DJ: So, is Warner Bros.—

EVH: I’ve got hundreds of songs
I
haven’t released.

DJ: Right. But is Warner Bros. saying “Hey, why don’t you and your son release some of that stuff?”

EVH: Come on, I mean, he’s 14 years old.

DJ: Hey! How old were you when you broke into the business?

EVH: He’s a world-class musician. I jam with him almost every day.

DJ: Who plays the drums when you two jam?

EVH: Him. And me.

DJ: You don’t call Al? Call Uncle Al and have him come over, and… [Laughter.]

EVH: No. I don’t know.

DJ: Do you two play differently, you and Wolfie, when you have tape rolling than when you’re just sitting around the living room?

EVH: No. Uh-uh.

DJ: So, there you go, Peg. They have recorded stuff, it hasn’t been released, though.

Peg: Okay!

DJ: Alright?

Peg: I look forward to it in the future. Thanks, guys!

EVH: One thing I did want to say is that for… Oh, bye!

DJ: She had to go. She had to go take a leak and restring her guitars, also. [Laughter.] What did you want to say, though? She can still hear.

EVH: Is that for, for graduation ceremony back in June… You know, he’s in ninth grade now. He’s only fourteen. And, well, I don’t know, the school that he goes to, uh… [Pause.] Well, they gave a damn rock show… . The lead singer of the band told everyone, because it was coming to the end of the gig, so to speak, and the ceremony, or whatever it was.

DJ: Graduation?

EVH: Yeah, it was graduation day, I don’t know if it was the ceremony or, what the hell. You know? But right before the last song before the band, the band, uh, came out, the lead singer came out and he delivered, “C’mon down front!” And everyone came up, you know, got up out of their seats, and, you know, it became a true rock show.

DJ: So, this was Wolfie’s band? Like a bunch of school friends?

EVH: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

DJ: What’s the name of their band?

EVH: I think this one was called The Shisa.

DJ: The Shisa?

EVH: Which means “the shit” in German.
’
Cause that’s what, whenever I like something I always say, “Now, that’s the shit, Wolfie!” You know?

DJ: [Laughter.] Oh! No! You can’t say—umm… Wait, you said you would talk to two listeners, let’s bring Brett up and then we’ll, we gotta let you go. We’ll get on with what we have to do. Brett?

Brett: Good morning, Eddie!

EVH: Hey! How’s it going?

Brett: I’ve been a fan forever, man. You’re awesome!

EVH: Well, thank you.

Brett: My question to you is that Harley that you used to have, or you may still have it, I don’t know. Did you ever get it sold on, uh, eBay?

EVH: No, I didn’t sell it, I gave it to the guy who, uh, bought about
four
of
’
em.

Brett: Did you ride it when you had it? That’s a pretty dumb question.

EVH: The deal, the deal was whoever bids the highest on one of my guitars on eBay—because, because I didn’t put a price on
’
em. Otherwise, I would’ve just sold
’
em in stores. But I figured, hey, I’ll just let the people decide what it’s worth to them.

DJ: Okay.

EVH: You know?

DJ: Man, you are unorthodox.

EVH: And whoever spends the most on one of the striped guitars that I played on tour, uh, I’ll give you my Harley. So, I gave it to the guy who spent around forty grand.

DJ: So, he got a guitar and your Harley for forty grand?

EVH: Well, actually I think he bought about four guitars.

DJ: Yeah, a bunch of guitars. And Brett wanted to know did you ever ride the Harley before you got rid of it?

EVH: Yeah, yeah, yeah, until—you know, it’s kind of like an Elvis bike, so to speak, you know? I mean, it was a great bike, it was just, “Wow, I wonder who’s riding that?”

DJ: Yeah, okay.

EVH: You know, it’s got a “VH” on the tank, “Eddie” on the seat, it’s got, you know, striped up like my guitar. [Laughs.] It was, it’s like, “
Duhhhh
 . . . I wonder who
that
is?”

DJ: [Much laughter.] It’s kind of a giveaway when they see you coming down the street is what you’re saying?

EVH: Yeah.

DJ: Okay. Alright, Brett. Thanks for the question, man.

Brett: Thanks, guys.

DJ: Alright.

Brett: Take it easy, man.

DJ: Alright. Well, hey, we appreciate you talking to us. If you can, hold on one second so we can get the address, and seriously, we’ll send you a, a pickguard for our little Toys for Tots.

EVH: Uhh… Call me back in about ten… I got—

DJ: Hold on, hold on. You go do, you go get your guitar, you go take—go to the bathroom, whatever, and, and we’ll get the info from you, okay?

EVH: Yeah, and then call me back.

DJ: Okay.

EVH: Alright?

DJ: Alright, Eddie. Thanks again, man. Good talking to you.

EVH: You’re welcome.

DJ: Take care. Bye.

EVH: Bye. Call me back.

DJ: Alright, we will—ten minutes.

The D-Word

After four long years of separation—and even what Edward already considered a practical divorce—Valerie finally officially filed for divorce on December 7, 2005. The Associated Press carried the story as “Bertinelli Divorcing Rocker Eddie Van Halen.” The article included a quote from Valerie’s spokeswoman confirming, “Yes, that’s true. They have been separated for four years and it’s amicable.” The divorce petition simply cited irreconcilable differences. In reference to Edward and the band, the AP writer said, “Van Halen, 50, is one of the most celebrated lead guitarists in rock music… . The group [Van Halen] was known for wild excess both on and offstage in its early years, and [Edward] Van Halen, once a heavy smoker, was treated for cancer in 2000 and 2001.”