Elemental Fear (13 page)

With each visit from my family came more questions about the attack, why I couldn’t speak to the police, what they looked like, were they men or women, how many. The questions were endless, most of the time I would close my eyes and fake being asleep whilst listening to them whispering amongst themselves. Lou was the only one that didn’t ask any questions, she would just look at me with tears in her eyes. It was a disconcerting look, because it was almost as if she could see inside me and knew the truth. I liked Lou to visit because she would talk endlessly about the baby and the bastard, as we now referred to him. Johan visited a couple of times, but he never stayed long, he said I needed time with my family and that his gorgeousness was distracting the nurses, making me laugh – a painful task with bruised ribs.

Dad came to take me home from the hospital, and the relief to be leaving the place was immense. Although I did feel safe there, and knew Elliott couldn’t get to me, it was a relief being able to watch over Ellie in my own home.

We pulled up outside our house and I almost cried with relief.

I walked in the front door and my sister flew at me wrapping her arms around my waist and squeezing me “I thought you were going to die”

“Argh, ow, ow, ow”

“Ellie-Mae you’re hurting her, let go” screeched my mother.

“I’m sorry” Ellie said jumping back bursting into tears.

“It’s okay, just a still a little sore for a mighty bear hug. Maybe a baby bear hug” I replied trying to catch my breath and show as little pain as I could so not to scare her. She nodded and came back towards me slowly. Her tiny arms circled my thigh and she gently squeezed.

A knock came at the door and my body froze. He’s here. I placed my hand on Ellie’s back to keep her close.

Dad went to answer it and I couldn’t turn round to face him. I started trembling with fear, what was I going to say, how could I pretend that everything was okay. I started breathing heavily and my chest hurt from the movements. Panic started to set in when I heard a soft hesitant voice; I wanted to cry in relief.

“My gorgeous girl is back
. Don’t you look a swell sight?” He said smiling, but concern remained in his eyes.

“Thanks.” I said dryly. My legs started to ache and I tried to step towards a chair but stumbled forward. I started to fall over but before I hit the floor I was scooped up into Johan’s arms.

“Here, do you mind helping her to her bedroom? I’ll lead the way.” Dad said staying close and holding his arms out towards us as if Johan would drop me at any minute. I calmed and started to feel at ease.

“I’m not hurting you am I
?” He asked

“No not at all” I replied, flushing with colour.

He chuckled softly. We entered my bedroom and I noticed my mother must have changed the bedding because the blood stains had gone and it was all neat. Johan gently helped me on my bed and stepped back warily, stepping from one foot to the other. He looked adorable when he was nervous.

I patted my bed “come sit down and tell me what trouble you’ve been causing without me”

“I’ve missed you, that’s for damn sure. No one’s there to remind me how amazing I am.” He smiled his boyish smile and immediately I felt safe.

“Do you want a drink fella?” Dad asked as he walked from the room. “Ah, I’ll take a coffee please.”

“Baby-girl?”

“Juice please”

Dad nodded and left the room.

“So...” Johan paused, looked at the bedspread then up at me and I knew with the devilish smile he was going to say something totally inappropriate “I’ve finally got into your bedroom. Do you think we could have the deed done before papa bear gets back
.” He wriggled his eyebrows and smiled.

I cough out a laugh and winced at the pain.

“Shit sorry...sorry no more jokes.” He held out his hands in a sign of surrender. “You are aware Dominic is going to kick my ass when he gets back from Paris!”

“Paris”

Johan explained that Alistair had phoned Dominic on urgent business whilst he was in Salisbury, to tell him he was needed in Paris as Master of Concourse.

Johan went on to say “He isn’t aware of...this
.” He waved his hands at me “as far as he is concerned you had the flu that’s why you couldn’t go to Salisbury and...I guess he’s so busy that –“

“He isn’t thinking about me” I said quietly. Johan’s face paled.

“I’m sorry about what happened, I feel really guilty that I was there and did nothing to stop it –” “Don’t! Please stop, I don’t want to talk about it, there was nothing you could have done” I interrupted. I didn’t want to hear this; I had forgotten Johan was there that night at the bar and seen Elliott dragging me out.

“I should have stopped the douche from dragging your hide out of there like a freaking dog on a leash. He had no right to handle you like that and then he goes and does this” his voice had risen toward the end of his sentence and he gestured to his hands to my battered body.

I sucked in a breath that he completely disregarded the lie and accused Elliott of doing this. I felt sick that he unwittingly assumed the truth.

“What? It wasn’t...what are you saying...I was attacked...I...you can’t say that...” I started panting and sucking in breaths, I could feel a panic attack approaching and the pain from my ribs didn’t help me calm. The more the pain shot through me the more I tensed and sucked in breath.

“Okay, okay, Jesus calm down. Eve, babe calm down.” He cooed stroking my hand.

“You...can’t...say...that” I gasped out.

I turned my head to look at his stricken and pale face.

“You have to talk to the police Eve. Tell them what really happened, because the story about the nightclub attack is bullshit. We all could have lost you and the bastard is not getting away with it”

Tears streamed down my face. “I can’t” I whispered between sobs. “You can’t say this Johan, please” I pleaded with him.

He nodded and his pale face held a haunted look “He can’t do this to you. The fact you didn’t deny he attacked you says more than anything. Why haven’t your parents realised –“

“No! No you don’t go there...argh...” I sucked in breath as the pain smashed through me. “It’s not...argh...”

“Jesus fucking Christ. I’ll stop saying shit, just stay fucking still woman”

“Johan please promise me you won’t –“

“I'm not promising shit. I will kill the fucker though if he hurts you again. You hear me, I may be a puny little shit but I can handle myself”

“He didn’t –“

“Don’t lie to me, anything, but lies
.” He whispered. I just looked at him. I wanted to tell him, I wanted to say all the evil nasty things that had occurred but I knew he would hate me, we could no longer be friends when he realised what a failure I’d made of being with Elliott and the vile things he had done to my body. No one will want you after that? No one will believe you?

“Just one thing
okay?” his voice was soft and pleading. I looked up at him and nodded.

“I can protect you...if you let me...if you trust me...I will make it stop
.” He looked at his hands in his lap “Fear, is irrational, it’s our most primal emotion that defends us against danger, but it can also cripple us and stop us from charging at that fear head on and saying ‘no more’. You are a strong intelligent beautiful woman Eve, and the best friend I’ve ever had. I will help you I promise; just...you just need to believe it can stop.”

I lifted my face and looked into his desolate blue eyes and tears streamed down my face. I swallowed and whispered “I was attacked outside the club” the look in Johan’s eyes about killed me. I know he knows how dirty and used I am, he can see it now, and I am going to be forever vile to him too.

I was roused from my slumber by a soft knock. I had fallen asleep leant against the headboard, propped up by pillows, so I simply turned my head and called “I’m awake”. The man who walked through the door took my breath away.

“Bonjour” Dominic said, poking his head through the crack in the door.

“Hi” I gestured for him to come in.

He walked in and stood looking at me, his smile slipping and a genuine look of pain passed his features.

“I’m okay” I whispered.

“Why did no one tell me? I didn’t hear until last night when I phoned Johan for some calibration readings and he said –“

“He promised he wouldn’t –” I wheezed clutching my ribs.

“Hey...Christ what’s wrong. Marie! Marie
!” He bellowed at the top of his voice. I waved my hand to tell him I was fine but he didn’t calm any.

My
mum came barreling into the room, closely followed by Lou, who was wrapped in a towel dripping wet I could only assume Dominic’s shouting had scared her half to death.

“What is it? Eve, baby what’s wrong
? Do you need –“

“I'm fine. Just...hurt...a...little.”

“Bloody hell Dominic” my sister said swiping at his arm.

“What? She did this thing
.” He clutched at his ribs and made a pained face

“Yeah she’s been doing that a lot lately
.” Lou scoffed but I could see she was hurting for me. “Honestly I’m fine. It’s just sore first thing on a morning.” I offered a weak smile.

mum
stroked my hair and kissed the top of my head. “I’ll go make you all some breakfast,

Dominic I assume you are staying..
.” She paused and took in his attire “Did you come straight from the airport?” as way of answering he nodded. She patted his cheek softly “You always were overprotective of my baby.” She smiled and left the room.

“Pff” I looked at my sister who was looking Dominic up and down.

“Sis do you think you should finish your shower? And for God sake don’t be running about in your...” I pause immediately when her eyes widen.

“Her what?” Dominic asked looking between us.

“Oh nice one big gob...you’ll have to tell him now. But I warn you Dominic this goes no further or I’m taking the scissors to your boys.” She said nodding at his crotch. Dominic winced and covered himself.

She laughed and shook her head “good, at least we understand each other”.

“So what’s this top secret then?”

“She’s pregnant”

“What?” He barked out, eyes open wide with raised brows. He laughed in disbelief. I nodded in confirmation and offer a ‘what can you do’ shrug.

“Blimey, that I did not expect”

“She’s pretty messed up because Darren dumped her when he found out, then lured her back with an afternoon of sex and said he wanted her back if she got rid of the baby”

“Dickhead”

“Exactly”

“I never could get on with him, he was a little too...perfect...if that makes sense
.” He stated crinkling his nose in disgust.

I smiled and stared at him; it felt so wonderful to have him standing in my room.

“So how was Paris?” I asked, more for something to break my obvious ogling. “Oh you know...French.” He laughed.

“Fool” I laughed back at him.

“We made some good progress, so I’m happy. I’m sure Alistair will be happy when I give him the details. He isn’t aware I’ve returned yet, I wasn’t scheduled back until next week”

“What? Why are you back then?” I asked shifting uncomfortably on the bed, trying to lift myself into a sitting position. Big arms went around my back and under my knees lifting me into position. The slight squeeze around my back was horrendously painful but the comforting touch of Dominic was like a potent drug. He leaned across me and without second thought I nuzzled my nose into the crook of his neck. I heard him suck in a shocked breath but instead of releasing me, his other hand moved from under my knees and gently circled my waist, his hand at my back slowly stroked up my back and cradled the back of my neck.

The delectable feeling of his skin and the soothing masculine scent could have me purring like a feline. His arms tightened around me imperceptibly to the naked eye but to me they felt monumental. His Adam’s apple bobbed up and down nudging my nose as he swallowed.

“Eve
.” He whispered his voice almost pleading with me; I assumed he would let me go. But instead his hand slid into my hair and held my head close to his neck. Almost in recognition he needed this as much as I did.

“I really shouldn’t hold you like this, but I'm going to have to take my chance in hell because I cannot let you go
.” He uttered quietly, as if accidentally speaking aloud.

“Never let go” I pleaded.

His hand in my hair closed possessively.

“What happened?”

“I was attacked” I swallowed the lump in my throat. I really didn’t want to explain this to Dominic, but more than that I was terrified of what Johan had said to him.

“Johan told me about that, what the hell were you doing outside on your own?”

“I...”

“And where was Elliott, because he’s in some serious shit when I get my hands on him. Johan said he was manhandling you out of the club –“

“It’s fuck-all to do with you” snapped an angry voice from the doorway. “And get your hands off my girlfriend”

“Are you taking the piss?” Dominic hissed he slowly removed his arms from around me, gently positioning me on the bed. He smiled at me before turning to scowl at Elliott. Dominic straightened to full height, pulling his shoulders back. Elliott mirrored his stance, it was like watching two lions preparing to battle to be alpha. “Have you seen the state of her, this is your fault you little prick”

Elliott flashed an angry stare at me his lip curled in an angry snarl “what have you been saying you little bitch?”

“Are you kidding me” I heard Dominic sneer before he rushed at Elliott pinning him to the wall by pressing his forearm across his throat. Elliott wrestled with him, lashing out a low punch to Dominic’s side, the only evidence that he connected with his body was a small grunt from Dominic but other than that he leant more against Elliott, forcing more pressure to his neck. Elliott’s face was going a bright red, and the panic in his eyes was warning of Dominic’s anger.

“Dominic please.” I pleaded.

“Dominic let him go, step away” I hadn’t noticed my sister’s arrival. “You’re upsetting Eve, and right now she doesn’t need this macho bullshit, from either of you”

A few deep breaths and Dominic stepped away from Elliott. “You,” Dominic pointed straight at Elliott “should have been there to protect her, not having a paddy somewhere”

Elliott bent at the waist, his hands on his knees breathing hard “Don’t you think I know that. I feel like crap that I wasn’t there. You lot just need to butt out
.” He lifted his head and pinned me with his blue stare. I swallowed hard, because I knew this episode had just cost me dearly

****

“Hey what ya doing’?”

I snapped my attention to the door.

Louise laughed at my reaction “in a world of your own there, by any chance?”

I smiled and nodded. Lou came into my room and sat at the bottom of my bed. “What’s up?” I asked “why aren’t you at work?”

“Inset day. I’ve been in but I kept getting sick so Joyce said I could come home. My training schedule is up to date I was sitting doing lesson plans anyway so I can do them at home”

Louise is a teacher
at our local primary school. She teaches reception class. Ellie is in the same school but wasn’t in my sister’s class last year she was in Mrs. Richard’s reception class. Lou thought Ellie would benefit more not being in her class with her being her little sister.

“Is the sickness still pretty bad?”

“Sometimes, some days it’s just nausea but others it’s full blown puking”

“Urgh.” I shuddered and made a wretched face.

Lou laughed “You asked” then her face sobers and I can sense she is working up to saying something.

“Just say it Lou”

“How did you –“

I lift my eyebrow in question.

“Okay, beyotch!” She laughs “I was wondering, well more...I had this idea...and you can say no but...maybe it is stupid...but –“

“Crikey Lou, it’s like deciphering Morse code. Get on with it”

“Do you want to get a house together? We could either rent or get a mortgage together. I just...I know mum and dad are happy for me to stay here and raise the baby but I...it’s time for me. I need to make a home for my baby. I’m still going to need their support and everything it’s just I’m twenty years old and in seven months I’m going to become a mum myself and I need to stand on my own two feet...I know asking you to live with me is still being kind of dependant but – “

“Lou, stop. Yes...yes I would love that.” I smile widely at her.

“Really?” She beams at me. “You don’t want to talk to Elliott first? I know you were probably thinking about buying a house with him but –“

“We aren’t at that stage”

“You’ve been dating for years, how long is it?”

“Nine years” I answer quietly.

“You two should be married by now...but thank God you haven’t yet. I...okay, so don’t hate me but...I don’t...like him for you. I’ve had a weird feeling for a while but this last episode of dick- headery has sealed his fate.”

I smiled weakly.

“So we’re really going to do this?” I nodded and smile at her.

“I have a few listings...if...do you want to have a look at them and we could maybe book a few viewings for when you’re better
.” She jumped up clapping her hands excitedly. “That would be great”

She handed me the pages. She started chattering away about the different houses, at a speed I could barely keep up with. Her excitement was palpable and great to see. We chose a few listings to go see. I left the arrangements for Lou to sort out, she had looked into everything. She put some mortgage info on the bed and left me to have a look through it.