Emily Post's Great Get-Togethers (3 page)

B
elieve it or not, having fun at your own party is largely about careful preparation. The more planning you put into your party, the easier and more enjoyable the experience will be because you won’t be eaten up with worries. We recommend breaking down the process into four parts:

Anna and Lizzie’s four-step party plan

1. Work out your
   overall party plan
   —including the type of party you’re going to throw, the number of guests, and your budget.
   
2. Make a
   planning timeline
   so that you’ll know when to send the invitations, hire help, purchase or rent supplies, order flowers, shop for food, clean the house, decorate, set the table, and prepare the food and drinks.
   
3. Draw up
   to do lists
   for all these tasks, along with
   detailed shopping lists
   that cover your entire menu and beverage needs.
   
4. Most parties or small gatherings won’t need this step, but if you’re having a serious party—sit-down dinner, lots of courses, mailed invitations—map out a
   party timeline
   to ensure that your party flows smoothly from beginning to end. (For a sample party timeline, see page 30.)
   

Working Out Your Overall Plan

L
et’s pretend that you’re planning to host a thirtieth birthday party for your close friend Carolyn. You’ve discussed it with her husband, John, and he’s on board. Now what? Work out your initial plans on paper, jotting down all your ideas and amending as you go. Lizzie likes to use a kitchen whiteboard so the plan can be easily updated. Use your own favorite planning method, or a simple grid like the one below can help pull your ideas together.

Next, begin to expand and refine your plan—adding a new column for your to do and shopping lists and other notes—and start filling in the details to create a general timeline:

GENERAL PLANS
Event: Carolyn’s 30th Birthday—Cocktails & Cupcakes Saturday, June 18; 6–8 p.m.
DETAILS, NOTES, TO DOS
Check date and time with John

GENERAL PLANS
# Guests: 24
DETAILS, NOTES, TO DOS
Consult with John on guest list

GENERAL PLANS
Time to event: 4 weeks
DETAILS, NOTES, TO DOS
This week, 5/20:
Make guest list and run it by John
Buy invitations and paper goods
Hire bartender/helper
Plan menu and drinks

5/27:
Mail Invites

6/4:
Check on RSVPs
Call florist

Party week, 6/11-18:
Shopping
Cleaning
Cooking
Set Up

GENERAL PLANS
I can handle: Invitations, flowers, drinks,
hors d’oeuvres, birthday
cupcakes, paper goods
DETAILS, NOTES, TO DOS
Scribbles Stationery:
Invitations, napkins, birthday candles
In Full Bloom:
Flowers—peonies?
Hors d’oeuvres:
Marsha—shellfish allergy
Cupcakes:
Carolyn loves chocolate with coconut
Drinks:
Full bar?
OR
Champagne cocktails or margaritas?
White & red wine, beer, iced tea, sparkling/mineral water

GENERAL PLANS
I need help: Bartender, server/cleanup
DETAILS, NOTES, TO DOS
2 people @ 4.5 hours (4:30–9:00) @ $25/hour = $225 plus $50 tips = $275—too much???

GENERAL PLANS
Budget: $350—split with John
DETAILS, NOTES, TO DOS
Hmm...maybe skip the bartender and full bar, keep a server/busser

As you look at each item on your list, you’ll be able to see whether it’s realistic and if it accomplishes your goals. For example, if more than half of your budget is going to a bartender and a helper, will you have enough left for food, flowers, and drinks? One solution could be to skip the bartender and stick to serving wine, beer, sparkling water, fruit juice, and a premade cocktail that your cohost, John, can serve. On the other hand, hiring someone to take coats, pass hors d’oeuvres, pick up plates and glasses, and do basic cleanup will let you spend all your time with your guests—so you may not want to give that up.

Fun and Games

E
ntertaining isn’t just about serving a meal. There are lots of ways to add fun to a party. If you’re planning an activity as part of your party, you’ll need to figure out where it fits into your party timeline and how long it will take to complete. A How to Host a Murder dinner can take all evening. Depending on the players’ enthusiasm, charades could last twenty minutes to an hour, cards or Scrabble an hour or all night, and sports as long as the daylight and the players’ stamina lasts! Keep the focus on the fun, and be flexible enough to call a halt to the game if your guests start to lose interest.

Indoors

• Charades
  
• Cards: Hearts, poker, bridge
  
• Fictionary
  
• Scrabble
  
• How to Host a Murder
  

Outdoors

• Bocce or boules
  
• Croquet
  
• Volleyball
  
• Badminton
  
• Touch football
  

Managing Your Schedule

O
ur advice in a nutshell:
You can never, ever be too prepared.
A successful party looks effortless, but that’s only because of the careful prep work that went into it. And one of the most vitally important parts of party preparation is
managing your schedule
. Prep is truly personal, so this means knowing how much time
you
need to set aside to prepare: to shop, clean or straighten up your house, set the table, set up the bar, prep and cook your meal, and shower and dress for the party (really!).

We strongly recommend sitting down and creating an actual timeline. That way you’ll have what you need when you need it, and you’ll also be sure to leave plenty of time for your cooking and setup. You can follow the same approach whether you’re hosting a formal dinner party or a simple get-together: The idea is to walk through all the steps involved in preparing for the party, working backward from the party date, and try to estimate how long each step will take. As you become more experienced entertaining, this step will become automatic and simpler. For a serious party, we like to print out a blank calendar that begins a month ahead of our party date, and then we fill in all our various party tasks on the calendar. Spread the work out, filling in a few items at a time. That way you’ll keep it fun and won’t feel overwhelmed.

SAMPLE TIMELINE

Although the actual time frame may vary somewhat according to the particular party, this timeline covers the elements involved in planning most parties.

4–5 weeks ahead

• Establish date, purpose, budget, guest list
  
• Purchase invitations, if mailing
  
• Hire help
  

3–4 weeks ahead

• Mail, e-mail, or phone invitations; as guests respond, inquire about food allergies
  
• Choose and reserve any rental items; arrange for pickup or delivery
  

2 weeks ahead

• Finalize menu—food and beverages
  
• Gather all recipes; photocopy and keep in a folder
  
• Begin making shopping lists: food, beverages, flowers, decorations, equipment rental
  
• Check party linens; send to dry cleaner or wash and iron if necessary
  

1 week ahead

• Call any non-RSVPers
  
• Purchase wine, liquor, and other beverages—either take with you or arrange for delivery
  
• Order meat or fish and arrange pickup time
  
• Purchase decorations, candles
  
• Prepare music: make playlist or choose CDs
  
• Order flowers; arrange for pickup or delivery
  

3 days ahead

• Take care of any major housecleaning
  
• Replace missing lightbulbs
  
• Check and tidy walks, entryways
  
• Order ice for delivery or pickup, or start making and bagging your own
  

2 days ahead

• Shop for all remaining ingredients
  
• Pick up beverages, flowers, rental items
  
• Make seating plan; write place cards
  
• Begin food prep, if necessary
  

Day before

• Choose serving dishes for meal and/or hors d’oeuvres
  
• Set dining table
  
• Lay out buffet table, label serving dishes, wrap silverware in napkins
  
• Set up bar area
  
• Check and restock guest bathroom
  
• Set up coat area
  
• Tidy party spaces, if needed
  
• Arrange decorations
  
• Do as much food prep and precooking as your recipes allow
  

Morning of

• Chill wine, water, juices, and mixers
  
• Arrange flowers if doing it yourself
  
• Make any sauces; fill condiment dishes and refrigerate; fill saltcellars, pepper grinders
  
• Prepare salad and dressing and refrigerate (separately)
  
• Assemble crudités, cheese platters, or antipasto platters; wrap and refrigerate
  
• Retidy party areas, if needed
  
• Make a mental “What can I do?” list in case guests offer to help (See Chapter 5, When You Need a Supporting Cast, page 49)
  

4 hours – 1½ hours before

• Pick up ice if it’s not being delivered
  
• Finish any food prep—you want to have as little as possible to do when guests arrive
  
• Slice bread—wrap until ready to put on the table
  

1½ hours before

• Get yourself ready!
  

45 – 15 minutes before

• Set out any platters/hors d’oeuvres that need to be at room temperature
  
• Set out butter to soften—wrap until ready to put on the table
  
• Fill ice buckets; place cold beverages, wine, beer at the bar
  
• Open wine
  

15 minutes before

• Dim the lights
  
• Turn on the music
  
• Do a mental run-through of the evening and any other meal-related tasks you need to attend to
  
• Take a few minutes to enjoy your creation
  
• Take a deep breath and
  smile
  

Party time

• Greet your guests
  

Write it Down, Make it Happen

W
hile you can throw a party without making lists, you’ll only drive yourself crazy. The beauty of making lists is that they relieve you from having to remember so many things at once. Believe us, you’ll be much more relaxed. So repeat after us: “Lists are my friends.”

The easiest thing to do is to keep separate lists for specific reasons: a
to do list
that you can check off and add to as needed plus several
shopping lists
for groceries, beverages, and supplies. For a big party or important event it helps to
organize lists by supplier
once you have a
master list
.

After you’ve recalculated your recipes for the number of guests you’ll be serving, make a
master list of ingredients and amounts
. Do a careful inventory of what you already have on hand and what you’ll need to purchase. Our parents regularly host this incredible clambake, sometimes for upwards of seventy people. They developed a master list and timetable that covers everything, right down to the sticks for the s’mores and how far in advance to collect seaweed. My mom keeps it on her computer so that it’s ready for the next time—a huge time-saver.

The Essential Checklist

This is a general list of party-prep essentials. You may not need each item, but use it as a guide when preparing your own party checklist.

• Make a party outline or budget
  
• Create a timeline
  
• Start a master to do list
  
• Start a master supply list
  
• Purchase and send invitations
  
• Hire help: bartender, servers, caterer
  
• Rent or purchase equipment and supplies; arrange pickup or delivery
  
• Purchase liquor, wine, beer, mixers, ice, water (sparkling and still), other beverages; arrange pickup or delivery
  
• Purchase paper goods
  
• Purchase or make decorations
  
• Send linens to dry cleaner, if necessary
  
• Prepare party music
  
• Prepare menu
  
• Gather recipes and recalculate all amounts for the number of servings
  
• Make a detailed grocery shopping list
  
• Shop for all ingredients
  
• Check /clean entryways
  
• Clean house/party area
  
• Set up party area and decorate
  
• Pick up any orders: rental items, liquor, flowers, meat or fish
  
• Set up bar
  
• Set table/buffet
  
• Set up coat area
  
• Cook/prepare dishes
  
• Make a seating plan
  
• Choose a party outfit and accessories
  

The Party Notebook

O
ur grandmother has these beautiful red leather notebooks in which she records the details of every party she gives. It’s fun to look through them and read about our mom and dad’s engagement party or her famous New Year’s Day parties. For our grandmother, it’s also an invaluable resource in terms of remembering what was successful and what wasn’t. Here’s what she includes:

• The occasion, the date, and the time
  
• Who was invited, and whether they could come or not. Sometimes, for special occasions, she kept a copy of the invitation, too.
  
• The menu
  
• Wines, liquor, and other beverages—what she served and how much of it was used. (This is especially useful information for cocktail parties.)
  
• Flowers—which flowers and if she arranged them herself or used a florist
  
• Table linens and other decorations
  
• The seating plan
  
• Help: bartender, servers, caterer
  
• Notes on what worked and what didn’t
  
• Jottings about costs