Ethan, Who Loved Carter (13 page)

“No problem.” He dropped his bag on the floor. “So, Ethan’s family is waiting downstairs. He just wanted to see where I used to live.”

“Cool.” John spread his hands and gave a slow twirl. “Here it is. Typical grandeur.” He gestured at the peeling wall and water stains and the window held shut with a wooden dowel. “Oh, before I forget….” Going to the apartment’s lone closet, he pulled out a lightweight brown zip-up jacket. “You left this.”

“Thanks.” Carter set it on his bag.

“What about the soda?” Ethan asked.

“Sorry. Coke or Mountain Dew?”

“Coke, please.”

John passed him a can. “Carter?”

“I’m fine.” Carter sat down on the couch. He and John had found it on the street a month after they’d moved in and carried it home together. “So, who’s the new roommate?”

John grinned.

“What?”

“Molly.”

“Seriously?” Carter leaned forward. “She moved in? Man, that’s awesome!”

“Who’s Molly?” Ethan broke his attention away from the soda.

“Molly is only the greatest girl in the world who I have been trying to date for
ever
.”

“I know that feeling,” Ethan said. “Carter and I aren’t dating.”

Oh no. Was it getting hot? It seemed stuffy in the apartment. Carter circled through excuses to get them away from the impending conversation before his panicked mind found the obvious one. “Your family is waiting. We should go.” Carter edged toward the door. Ethan hadn’t mentioned dating in forever, and now he had to say something to
John
? John, the one guy who had a chance at convincing Carter he was being stupid about letting his past relationships hold him back from going for what he wanted. Namely, Ethan.

“Now hold on.” John put his hands up. “I want to talk to Ethan. If he’s got designs on you, I want to know what they are.”

“He doesn’t want to date me,” Ethan said, “so it doesn’t matter.”

“Well,” John said after a moment of consideration. “He’s pretty shy.”

“Yeah.” Ethan sucked on his lip. “But not with me.”

John looked surprised at that. “Oh. Good luck, then.”

“Thanks.” Ethan glanced around as if he were memorizing the apartment. “I probably should go.”

“I’ll walk you down,” Carter said.

“Okay.”

“Hey.” John touched Ethan’s arm and spoke quietly to him. Finishing, he turned back to Carter. “See you in a minute.”

Carter scrutinized him, but John’s expression gave away nothing. “Okay.”

Carter watched Ethan as he descended the narrow stairs in case he needed help, but he managed with one hand on the rail and the other on the wall. “What did John say to you?”

“He said that if you aren’t shy with me, then it’s a big deal.”

“Well, yeah.”

Ethan reached the first floor landing and stopped. “That’s true? It is a big deal?”

Carter stopped one step up so he stood at the same height as Ethan. “Yeah. I mean, you know how I am. I can’t even talk to Vera. It’s not all about being shy. It’s about being comfortable enough with someone that I don’t worry about being able to speak.”

“But you’re good talking to me?”

“Yeah. We’re friends.”

“I want to be more than friends.” Ethan’s face held a challenge. Carter looked away.

“I don’t know if I’m ready. I’m sorry.” He glanced back to see Ethan watching him with the same determined expression. “We’re still friends, right?”

“Yeah.” Ethan turned away. “I’ll go the rest of the way alone.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow. Um. Good night?”

“Yeah.”

Carter gripped the banister, debating running after him. But for what? The only logical end for such a dramatic action would be to declare his feelings, and he wasn’t ready for that. He didn’t move until he heard the door downstairs open and close. Then he turned around and went upstairs. Ethan had written a song for him, and he’d taken it as a sign of friendship.
Crap, Carter, you’re an idiot. No one writes a song for a buddy.
Hell, it had worked, hadn’t it? Carter had fallen for him. He’d just been too stupid to know that was Ethan’s intent. Or too self-protective to let himself consider that possibility.

“What happened?” John asked as Carter returned.

He closed the door. “I have a lot of work to finish before tomorrow. Is it okay if we skip over how I’m possibly a self-defeating jerk?” He still wasn’t finished re-transposing the score, and they were down to the wire with less than a day before the performance. He wondered what the new actor had been working with if he didn’t have the music, but that was Alice’s problem.

“Sure. Whatever.” John gave him a consoling glance. Carter fought the urge to flip him off.

He collapsed onto the couch. “Thanks.”

A
PUBLIC
high school played host to the event, and its auditorium was packed, likely due to the high-caliber celebrities playing the main roles. Residents of a women’s shelter filled out the supporting cast, as the benefit was for the shelter. Carter sat in the third row behind Will Smith, and next to Ethan’s family. Ethan had spent all day in rehearsal.

“He wouldn’t let us come,” Liz said, her voice a whisper below the anticipatory murmur of the audience. “He wanted it to be a surprise.”

“Not like he wasn’t practicing ever since he heard the line,” Elliot said, but he seemed happy about it.

During the day, Carter had popped in and out of rehearsal and had glimpsed Ethan talking with Alice, but hadn’t been able to do more than wave. He’d spent most of his day making last-second changes to the transposed songs. “I’m sure he’ll be great.”

“Of course he will be.” Liz looked affronted that any other possibility might exist.

Carter opened his program. He hadn’t been able to read any of the production notes, but with ten minutes before curtain it was a good way to kill time. He was reading the dramaturge’s notes when the woman next to him cleared her throat.

“Do you mind?”

Carter turned to see her glaring at him. “I’m sorry?”

“You keep bumping into me. Can you sit still?”

“I, um.” His words to explain that he hadn’t known dried up. He stared at her helplessly.

“Look. Just stop fidgeting, okay?”

“I’m suh-suh—I’m—”

Elliot leaned across Carter. “He can’t help it. If you’ve got a problem, move.”

“We paid for these seats.”

“I didn’t know I was doing anything,” Carter said, addressing his apology to his knees. “I’m sorry.” He glanced at Elliot.
Elliot is helping?
Not only was Elliot helping, he looked like he was going to punch the woman.

“How could you not know?” the woman asked. “You jostled me so much I feel like I’m on a fucking boat.”

Carter kept his gaze down. Shoving his hands under his thighs to stop them from jerking only made his elbows fly out. He wanted the conversation to end. “I’m sorry. I don’t always realize.” If she would just leave him alone, he would spend the entire performance concentrating on holding his tics in.

“I told you, he can’t help it. Are you deaf?” Elliot asked.

“Elliot!” Liz leaned into the conversation. “What’s going on?”

Carter tried to sink into the floor.

“Your son,” the woman pointed at Carter, “won’t stop fidgeting.”

“Carter, trade seats with me,” Liz said.

“I’m not her son,” Carter said. He got up anyway and resettled between Elliot and Nolan.

Liz smiled at the woman. “Now, you and I are going to have a little talk about consideration for other people’s situations.”

“You can fidget now; it’s cool,” Elliot said.

Sharp tears gathered in his eyes. He focused on the stage. When the performance started, he had relaxed enough to enjoy it. The new actor pulled off his sudden role superbly. But for Carter and the Harts, Ethan was the star of the show.

He delivered the line “More tea, sir?” with perfect timing and an adroitly arched eyebrow at the moment the hapless lead learned he’d accidentally dated his own sister. The line got a huge laugh. Ethan remained on stage, pot extended with both hands, and Carter was close enough to see the smile tugging his lips. He looked amazing too. Carter guessed that the costume was the surprise Ethan had been saving. Ethan was dressed head to toe in Victorian manservant’s clothes, which emphasized his long legs and torso. His hair was slicked up and back and when he moved a certain way, it caught in the light as if glitter had been thrown in. He looked like an angel. When the laughter stopped, the other actor delivered his line dismissing Ethan’s character, and Ethan left the stage to a round of applause. Carter looked down the row and saw tears glistening in Liz’s and Nolan’s eyes. He glanced back at the stage, at the closed door where Ethan had exited. No one would know he was brain damaged from what he’d just done. Maybe they were thinking about that.

At the curtain call, Carter leapt to his feet and didn’t even mind that he released three hoots without meaning to. He stomped too, and let himself go for those few seconds because Ethan deserved all of it. Ethan had apparently, unsurprisingly, befriended the entire cast. Ten minutes passed before he could get offstage as everyone hugged him and kissed his cheek.

“Did you like it?” he asked, coming up to Carter and his family with that breathless, eager smile.

“Oh, Pal, you were amazing!” Nolan said. He clapped Ethan on the shoulders. Liz smiled and blew her nose.

Ethan turned to Carter. “Did I do well, Carter?”

Carter looked into Ethan’s bright eyes as emotion he couldn’t control washed over him. “You did, yuh, uh uh yuh—” He couldn’t talk, the feeling was so strong. It was happiness and pride—
I know this guy, this awesome, amazing guy
—that made Carter want to jump up and down and point and have everyone know. Ethan’s face started to fall; Ethan hated it when Carter was too uncomfortable to talk and he probably thought that he was responsible for Carter’s stuttering and Carter didn’t want Ethan to ever think that, to ever have his face fall when everything was amazing, he was
amazing
and… Ethan’s lips were soft and slick with gloss; Carter’s slid over them when he gave up on words and decided on action. He started to pull away because they were kissing
in front of everyone
,
oh shit
, but Ethan grabbed his upper arms and kissed back. When they broke apart, Ethan’s grip was the only thing keeping Carter upright and the taste of Ethan’s lip gloss replaced the remnants of popcorn in Carter’s mouth. “I luh luh,” he tried again, meaning to say he’d loved the show, but since words still weren’t coming, he kissed Ethan once more. Ethan loosened his death grip on Carter’s arms and slid his hands around Carter’s back and it was about as perfect as a kiss could be.

This time, the kiss was interrupted by other people surrounding them. Carter pulled back to see members of the cast joining in with a hug. “Is this your boyfriend?” the girl who’d played the maid asked.

Ethan looked at Carter. His eyebrows arched upward in a silent question. “It’s, uh, we’re thinking about it,” Carter said. Looking into Ethan’s shining eyes, he wanted to say yes, but his head was jumbled from the excitement of Ethan’s performance and the unabashed enthusiasm of their kiss. Ethan was probably in a similar state, and they needed to be clearheaded about this. He smiled to let Ethan know that right now the matter was open for discussion.

“You two look cute together,” the girl said. She gave Ethan a squeeze. “See you at the after-party?”

Ethan turned to Liz. “Can I go, Mom?”

“I don’t know, honey.”

“Carter can come too. Right, Carter?” Ethan turned his smile toward Carter.

“Yeah, I’ll go and make sure he gets back to the hotel all right.” The girl pushed directions into Carter’s hand. Carter stared at them. He’d just volunteered to go to a party. With people. He lifted his gaze to Ethan, stunned.

“Hey, Superstar!” Alice appeared and touched Ethan’s elbow. “You were amazing!”

“Thank you.” Ethan beamed.

“Let’s get you back to the dressing room. The wardrobe staff is missing that coat.”

Ethan clutched it around his chest, protective. “I like it a lot.”

Alice smiled. “Well, maybe we can talk them into letting you keep a cuff link. Would that be good?”

“Yeah.” Ethan brightened. “Can Carter come too? He’s going to the after-party with me.”

Alice raised an eyebrow. “A party, Carter?”

“Yeah, well,” Carter said. He tried not to shuffle his feet like a big kid.

Alice touched Ethan’s chest over his heart. “Well, I’ll be. You’ve got some kind of magic, Ethan Hart.”

Ethan shrugged as a look of confusion crossed his face. “I just like Carter.”

“I think we’ll head back to the hotel,” Nolan said. “Don’t be too late at the party. Home by midnight. We have an early start tomorrow to get home.”

“Okay,” Ethan said.

“Sure thing,” said Carter.

“It’s about time,” Liz whispered as she gave Carter a hug. “We’ve been waiting for you boys to figure things out.”

“Thanks,” Carter said. He wasn’t sure how to feel about Nolan and Liz having a stake in when he’d come to his senses about Ethan.

Nolan and Liz led Elliot and Jennifer out, and Alice pushed Ethan and Carter toward the hallway to reach the school’s band room that doubled as a dressing room. The hall was relatively deserted apart from a few people waiting for their friends. “I have to see to some things. I’ll see you guys later,” Alice said. She ran off, unhooking a walkie-talkie from her belt as she went.