Everything (20 page)

Chapter Thirty-Nine

Jody

Angel had an awful night. The pain in her chin stopped her from sleeping, and the fact her mother was a crying mess probably didn’t help either. I hated being back in my old bed. I missed Leo. I missed my little apartment. Dad had been nice to me since I’d returned, talking gently as he helped us settle in. Morgan and Sean had hung around until I was falling asleep in the armchair. They left shortly after dark, and I went to bed only to be woken by Angel within the hour.

The day was total shit.

Angel was all out of kilter, and I cried my way through unpacking. I still had to go and collect Angel’s crib and changing table, but I didn’t have the guts. I couldn’t see Leo again, and so I spent the day waiting until I knew he’d left for the airport.

It was slow-going. The minutes ticked by like hours. The musical he’d written for me sat on the edge of my desk, calling me. I tried to ignore it, but by midday, I had to give in.

Angel went down for a second nap to try to catch up. Dad had popped out, and so I took the chance to sit at the piano and lose myself in
Dream Chaser
.

It was a beautiful play. Seeing it in order made me realize that Leo had written it for me. I sight-read the songs I didn’t know so well, sung with gusto the ones I knew by heart, and then I reached the end and found a new song...the alternate ending Leo had come up with last-minute.

The girl, Aria, has captured her dream. A life of song and music, of color and stage lights. She’s certain. The colorful, explosive moment wakes her from slumber, breaking her fever, but as she sits up, she finds the boy she once loved sitting on the end of her bed, vigilantly waiting for her to awaken.

Aria looks at Franco, confused at first.

Franco was a dream she walked away from at the beginning of the second act. She was afraid by the prospect of possibly losing him, or him straying, or something taking him out of her life. Even though he made her happy, she decided the risk was too high. She knew she needed a dream that was hers alone, a dream that would fulfill her completely so she didn’t have to rely on anybody else.

“Leo, what did you do?” I whispered.

Franco doesn’t say a word, but opens his arms, a willing lover.

This is Aria’s final choice.

A slow smile forms on her lips and she starts to sing.

Running my fingers over the score, I mouthed the title of the song, “My Everything Dream.”

Finding middle C, I pressed the note repeatedly as I skimmed over the music, and then my fingers found their position and I began to play the melody.

I thought I knew. I thought my heart had told me so.

I’d found my home. I was so certain.

I thought my plan was foolproof, nothing could go wrong

But now I’ve found, more than the music.

And I’ve learned a whole new thing.

That dreams can shift and change

And with certainty, now I can finally say.

It is you.

You’re my everything dream.

More than lights, more than song, you’re my heartbeat

It is you

You’re the one that I need

You are the sun, you are my life, my everything

My voice caught on the final note, my eyes blurring with tears. She chose him. She changed her mind so they could be together.

“What the hell are you trying to say, Leo?” I hit the keys, the disjointed sound making me cringe.

“You okay?” Morgan’s soft question made me gasp. I spun in my seat and saw my sister leaning against the doorframe.

“How long have you been standing there?”

Morgan gave me a sheepish grin. “Long enough to know that’s a beautiful song.”

My shoulders slumped. “It’s Broadway, Morgan. He’s been working so hard for this. It’s his dream come true. I’m not going to take that away from him. It’s everything he wants.”

“By the sounds of that song, maybe it’s not.” Morgan pointed at the music behind me, stepping into the room and perching on the arm of the couch.

“He doesn’t know what he’s saying! He doesn’t know what it’s like to give up something you’ve wanted your whole life.”

“He doesn’t have to give it up. He can still have his musical. He just wants you to be part of it.”

“I can’t move to New York, Morgan!” My eyes shot up the stairs, thinking of my precious baby, injured thanks to me.

Morgan grasped my wrist. “Would you stop blaming yourself? You could have been sitting on the toilet when that happened.”

“But I wasn’t. I was sitting at a piano, getting lost like I always do. Music always gets me in trouble.”

“It also brings you to life.” Morgan tutted, shaking her head. “I know you hate being compared to Mom, but you are like her. She was always happiest when she was singing, but she never let herself do it, because instead of making her happy, it just made her feel like she was missing out. So she sacrificed everything she was passionate about to raise us, and then she imploded and took off. You don’t want to do that to Angel.”

“I never would! And yes, I do hate being compared to Mom, thank you very much!”

Morgan grinned, gathering up my fingers in her own. “So don’t be like her then. Let yourself sing. Let your passion shine. You were born to be on a stage and yes, you’re a mother and it does make things more difficult, but it doesn’t make them impossible. You have to make sure you’re getting the things you need, too, and ultimately, Angel will be happier for it.”

“Happy mommy, happy kid.”

“Pretty much.” Morgan chuckled, touching my face. “You may not get Broadway stage lights on you, but you can still sing and you can
love
.”

“I can’t steal his dreams just to make my own come true.”

Morgan frowned, pointing over my shoulder and saying, “It is you. You’re my everything dream, more than lights, more than song, you’re my heartbeat. It is you, you’re the one that I need. You are the sun, you are my life, my everything.” She pursed her lips. “Sounds to me like you guys might be each other’s dreams.”

“Then why is he going to New York!” I threw my hands in the air.

“Because you told him he had to! You basically said you’d break up with him if he didn’t go.”

“Because I
know
he wants this.”

“Jo-Jo, I think he wants you more.”

I dropped my head into my hands with a small scream. “But he deserves that stage, the accolades, the applause.”

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but I’ve heard that people clap in LA, too.” Morgan’s dry voice made my head pop up. “It could just be a rumor, of course.” She winked.

I slapped her arm with a little snort, my face crumpling. “He wants Broadway. He deserves it.”

“Then go and have it with him.”

“Hello! I have a one-year-old! Dad’s right, I can’t just leave my family and move over there.”

“Why not? You can make it work somehow. The least you could do is be there for the audition. You can work out the details later.”

A disbelieving laugh punched out of my chest. “My baby is sleeping upstairs, and you’re telling me to go and jump on a plane to New York?”

“The audition’s tomorrow, right? I can look after Angel until then, and you can fly straight back. If they accept, we work out the details, and we get you over there somehow. At least you’d be with Leo.”

The idea sounded phenomenal and scary at the same time. My insides skittered with doubts, nerves, excitement. “I can’t have everything I want, Morgan.”

“Okay, fine.” Morgan leaned toward me. “Then what do you
need
?”

I couldn’t breathe. There was one only word lodged in my throat.

Morgan was right; I didn’t have all the details worked out, but I knew what my everything dream was. A three-letter word that I’d basically ordered out of my life.

“Call him. Tell him you’ve changed your mind.”

I bit my lip.

“Jody, call him!”

Pulling out my phone, I unlocked the screen and found his number. Holding my breath, I pressed the red dial button and raised it to my ear.

It went straight to voicemail.

I hung up before leaving a message. “It’s either off or he’s on the other line.”

Morgan checked her watch. “What time does his flight leave?”

I shrugged. “Four, I think.”

“You’ve still got time.” Standing up, she put her hand under my arm and forced me to my feet.

“You mean, go get him, like now?”

“Yeah, why not?”

“Well...” I glanced at the clock on the wall. “I don’t know if I can make it in time.”

“Yeah, you can.” Dad appeared in the doorway behind me. “I’ll drive you.”

Okay, so that was a surprise.

My lips parted, and I turned to Morgan to make sure I wasn’t seeing things. Her grin was delicious. “Just take it.” Pushing me toward him, she snatched my purse off the table by the front door and double-checked I had my wallet.

I paused at the bottom of the stairwell.

“Whether you’re back this afternoon or in two days, she’s going be safe, loved, and cared for, so just go!”

I shot my sister a disbelieving grin as Dad pulled me out the front door.

Chapter Forty

Jody

I was a nervous wreck on the way to the airport. What was I going to do? Fly to New York! No, I’d made my decision, but Leo… Leo wanted New York...and me. And I wanted Leo...and kind of New York, but what about Angel?

My mind felt like scrambled eggs as I tried to figure it all out. All I knew without a doubt was that I wanted Leo, Angel, and me to be a family together, and it almost didn’t matter where in the world that happened.

Dad was driving like a maniac trying to get me to LAX. I was grateful for it but struggling to find the words to tell him that. I still couldn’t believe he was doing this. I thought he didn’t want me whisking his granddaughter across the country where I could neglect her again.

I closed my eyes, feeling sick.

Dad jerked to a stop at the red light, drumming his fingers on the wheel and checking his watch again.

“We’ll make it.” He nodded.

“That’s not it.” I shook my head. “I’m just not sure what to do.”

“You’ll know.” The light changed to green and Dad screeched through the intersection.

“Thanks for trying to get me there on time.”

“It’s the least I can do, Jo-Jo.”

I flicked a glance at him. Had I missed something? Was that remorse on his face?

“Why are you helping me?”

He kept his eyes on the road, not glancing my way. His jaw clenched tight, and then he let out a sigh. “This guy, Leo, he makes you happy, and I can tell he really cares about you.” Finally his eyes hit mine for a brief second. “I just really want you to be happy, Jo-Jo...and if he makes you happy then...”

He couldn’t say it. I could see he wanted to but just couldn’t form the words.

He’d give Angel and me up if it meant we were happy.

A rush of emotion coursed through me. “The day Angel fell, why were you calling me?”

Dad’s lips pressed together, his right shoulder hitching. “I was going to try to apologize, figure out a way for us to stop fighting.”

A shaky smile formed on my face. “Oh, Dad, I’m sorry I let you down. I’m sorry I’ve put you through any of this.”

He shook his head with a frown. “I was wrong to treat you like I did. I guess I was just so heartbroken that some guy had treated my baby girl, my shining star, with such disregard and then you gave it all up. I was scared. I was scared that you were going to regret keeping Angel.”

“Me, too.” My voice shook.

“But you’re not like your mom. You give people everything, Jody, and you don’t hold back. You know how to love with your whole heart. You’re not going to turn your back on Angel, you couldn’t if you tried. Even after that jackass left you high and dry, there was no bitterness. I carried that for the both of us, and because he wasn’t around, I took it all out on you.” He glanced my way again, his eyes sad and haunted. “I’m sorry for being so hard on you.” His voice hitched and a lump formed in my throat. Tears blurred my vision. “It was just all so unfair, and I got caught up in that, and I missed the fact that you took it and turned it into sunshine, just like you always do.” His smile was rich and familiar. Man, I’d missed that smile.

I blinked, letting my tears fall unchecked. “Thanks, Dad.”

He reached over and squeezed my knee. “You found Angel the perfect father, and you made a life for yourself...and you did it all without me.”

Wiping my finger under my nose, I sniffed and slashed at my tears.

“I’m proud of you, Jo-Jo. I know you’ll make the right decision.”

“I still don’t know what that is, but I really needed to hear all that stuff from you just then.” I sucked in a ragged breath and pressed my lips together, trying to contain the child-like sob I wanted to set free.

Dad’s thick fingers patted my leg as he blinked at his own tears. “You’ll know.” He sniffed, pulling himself together before any tears could actually fall. “When you get to the airport and see him, you’ll know.”

I nibbled at my lip, still not feeling sure.

“No matter what you choose, you have to sacrifice something, but with that loss will come an amazing reward. Morgan’s right, don’t just think about what you
want
. Think about what you actually
need
. I’m sure there’s a song about this.” His head tipped to the side and my mouth dropped open.

“You have a song for this moment?”

He looked at me, a sweet little grin pushing at his lips. “Yeah, I heard you guys singing it one time when you were watching
Glee
. Something about not getting what you want, but getting what you need. I think you should keep that in mind.”

A quick smile bloomed on my face as the old Rolling Stones song “You Can’t Always Get What You Want” shot out of my mouth.

“That’s the one.” Dad nodded his head, letting me sing the chorus through. I could tell by the grin on his face that he loved the sound of my voice. As we pulled onto the airport off-ramp, he glanced my way. “I love you, Sunshine.”

My heart swelled in my chest, the answer to my big dilemma ringing loud and clear within me.