Everything She Needs (The Everything Trilogy) (19 page)

Jack had helped me buy a new phone and transferred all my numbers over for me, after deleting all my texts involving Alfie, as well as
his phone number.

So I couldn’t even contact him if I wanted to. The flight back was tiring
; I watched three movies, but I probably couldn’t answer any questions about them, my concentration wasn’t up to par.

Seeing the sun when I walked out of the airport with Will didn’t do much for my mood either. I just wanted a shower, something to eat
, and to sleep. Will tried hard to support me, even though he had no idea what was going on with me right now.

I didn’t really trust men, apart from my dad, and Jack of course.  Will asked if I wanted to go to his place, but the way I was feeling I didn’t want to be around any man,
so I asked him to take me home.

Holly was still in Texas visiting her
parents, she had a two week holiday and only left on New Year’s Eve, so I knew she wouldn’t be around for a while. I hadn’t heard a word from Saffy, and with her gone too, I had time to wallow in my own pity party.

I spent the following week locked down after doing a massive shop, and hardly spoke to anyone apart from Jack, who called on Sky
pe every day to check up on me.

Four days in
to my lockdown I found a note under my door from Alfie. I didn’t read it. I know I shouldn’t have done it really, but I screwed up and stuck it down the waste disposal unit.

On the day I was due back at
college, I rang Will. “Lily! Where the hell have you been? You haven’t answered your phone. I stopped by but your doorman told me you had just gone out, and your car wasn’t in the parking lot.”

I had forgotten to tell Will about my change in number
. I had emailed him from the plane to say I would meet him out by the exit doors near the car rental places.

“Sorry, I got a new phone. This is my new number, save it to your contacts.
” I then remembered that Alfie may ask him about me. “Will, don’t give my number to Alfie, promise me?” Will sounded surprised. “Alfie? I haven’t seen him since the day he came to my place looking for you.” His voice was flat.

“I know Will, he’s been in the UK,
I saw him there.” Will was silent for a few seconds before responding.

“Did he follow you there?”

I sighed. “No Will, he was playing a gig supporting Cobham Street.” Will gave a low whistle down the phone. “Seriously? WTF, his band must be amazing.”

I smiled
. “Yeah, they are amazing, but I’m avoiding Alfie. I’ll fill you in later.” I really didn’t want to rake over old coals, but I knew that I would have to bring him up to speed if he was going to help me stay clear of Alfie.

“Don’t drive today, I’ll pick you up
, and you can fill me in on the way to campus.” I cringed at having to do that, especially as I had slept with Will that one time and have yet to be fully convinced we were okay after that.

I figured actions have consequences
, though, so I guessed it was only natural that I faced mine. Will rang me from his car to say he was downstairs. I gathered up my rucksack, notation books, and trusty guitar and headed down to meet him.

He smiled and got out, helping me with my stuff and laying my guitar in the backseat, before opening the passenger side door for me. I smiled back, and we had an awkward moment before he closed the door and ran around the hood to get in his side.

I explained everything on the way over to campus, and Will was pissed about Alfie’s behavior towards me.

As we drove into the parking lot on campus, my eyes scanned for
any sign of Alfie’s car. It wasn’t there, and I felt relieved. I hurried through the walkways and into the booth that Will and I had booked before the end of the last semester. We planned to lay down tracks together for our assignment this term.

I seemed to duck and dive all day, avoiding anywhere I thought I might run into Alfie. Mandy was walking towards me with Neil, and her face broke into a smile when she saw me. “Lily, honey…”
She ran with her head going side to side, and flung herself at me in a hug. “Happy New Year! God, we missed you!” she gushed at me.

Mandy had a heart of gold
, I’d decided. She took me under her wing the first day of lessons on campus. She and Neil, her boyfriend, played together and had been giving Will and me guest spots during their performances, helping us to showcase ourselves in some great venues around Miami.

“Come over to dinner tonight. Neil is going out with Nick and some of the others to some bachelor party, it will be a quiet night just the two of us.” I was more than up for some female company.

“I’d love to, I’ll bring the wine.” I smiled. We hugged again and passed each other as we set off in opposite directions.

I was celebrating getting through a day without Alfie when I spotted Will in the parking lot. As soon as I saw who he was with, my heart
sunk to the pit of my stomach.

I decided there and then that I needed to get this over with as soon as possible. I knew it would only be a matter of time before I’d run into Alfie anyway, and it would be better to do it with someone else there with me.

A week away from him had strengthened my resolve, so I walked with purpose towards Will as both men turned to watch me coming towards them. Alfie’s face looked serious, like he was full of concern. To be honest, I couldn’t give a shit how he felt right then. He’d cut me to the bone, and I’d bled out.

Will stepped forward and opened his arms for a hug. It was the first time we’d shown any affection for each other since I had come back, but it felt absolutely right in this moment.

I let his strong arms envelope me and buried my face in his chest, taking a deep breath. He kissed the top of my head. “Hey, honey, all set to go?”

I pushed back, smiling up at him and nodded. Alfie’s eyes were searching my face. I kept my feelings to myself, not wanting him to see how
much he could still affect me.

He looked stunning as ever, and even from here, I could smell the
bodywash he used. He looked tired, though, like he hadn’t been sleeping. Good! I wanted him to feel as badly as I did, but I doubt that his loss of sleep would have had anything to do with me.

He tried to give me a small smile
, and I deadpanned him. Turning to Will, I gestured to his car and shook my guitar case. “Let’s get out of here, I have plans tonight, and I don’t want to be late.” Will unlocked the car and took my stuff from me, settling it in the backseat like before, taking care not to knock my guitar.

Alfie spoke, his voice gruff. “Are you not going to give me a chance to explain anything,
Lily.” I stared him down, standing still for what seemed like the longest time. The fucker stared back, not backing down.

“Nope, I really don’t care what you want to say, I’m
done with you, leave me alone.”

Before he could gather his thoughts I had deposited myself in Will’s passenger seat. Luckily Will had taken my lead and had already gotten in his side, partly because he anticipated a quick getaway, and partly to give us some privacy.

“Drive Will, now!” I commanded. Will started the car and drove away from where Alfie was standing. I didn’t look back, so I have no clue what he did as we left.

“Fuck, Lily, you destroyed him with your attitude there.” Will commented chuckling raucously
. “Remind me not to get on the wrong side of you any time soon.” He smirked.

I wish I had felt as confident as
Will thought I was.  Seeing Alfie standing there like that had a devastating effect on me and reminded me that he had my heart in his hands, and he used it as a stress ball for his convenience.

He looked so fucking incredible, and it hurt me to disrespect him that way in front of others. I kn
ew deep down we’re going to have the talk at some point about what happened in London. I just wanted to be strong enough when that conversation came about.

Will dropped me off
, and I showered and dressed for dinner at Mandy’s place.  I found it a welcome change that I didn’t have to wear tons of clothes and go out feeling like I was wearing a duvet like I had last week in London.

I wore some jeans and a red tank top, and grabbed a cardigan as the night air was cooler in January. Some people were wearing coats
. I thought that was ridiculous. It was fresh at times, but no way did I feel like I needed an outer garment.

I arrived at Mandy’s
, and as soon as we sat down, I felt relaxed. She made a fabulous egg pasta with a spicy tomato sauce, and we talked at length about music. She had no idea about Alfie and me.  So it made a welcome change that I didn’t have the drama of discussing him with her.

She put her
karaoke machine on, and we sang together. She kept telling me that she loved the tone of my voice. I’ve agreed to sing a song with her at one of her gigs in the near future. Maybe when the wine has worn off, I’ll retract that particular verbal contract.

I took a cab back to my place, having decided to accept the second glass of wine,
and then a third. The cab dropped me outside my apartment building.

Before I could get inside Alfie suddenly appeared, gripping my arm. “I have nothing to say to you. Leave me alone
,” I spat as I struggled to free myself from his grasp. His hand felt so warm through the thin material of my cardigan, and my heart pounded in my chest as I looked at him.

He pulled my arm roughly, slipping his palm down to grip my wrist, turning me to face him. “No! You don’t get to walk away again, not this time. Not without at least hearing me out.” His face looked menacing and angry.

I smirked at him, but he looked in no mood for humour. “No, Alfie, you’re the one that walked away. You lost any ground you made with me that night when you got dressed after fucking me and left the room. Oh, but then again, you only left me because you needed to call your girl back, right?”

He stifled a sigh, and was about to
speak, but I cut in again. “Look Alfie, you owe me nothing, you told me in the beginning that you weren’t a ‘hearts and flowers’ type of guy. Why are you even here? You left me to deal with her. You.Left.Me,” I hissed softly, staring at the ground.

He stroked my wrist with his thumb. “I’m here now, Lily. I want to be near you.” I looked up at him feeling even
more angry than anything else. “You’re here now… Now?  Why aren’t you with her?”

His tortured face was so sad and hurt looking
, and I couldn’t understand why, when he was the one blocking us from being something more. “It’s complicated,” he said slowly, his shoulders slumped, and his voice defeated.

He looked around him, as if he didn’t want anyone else to hear him. “I’m not doing this in the street Lily, I can’t.” I knew we were getting nowhere quickly with this.

“You can come upstairs and we’re going to settle this once and for all, then you leave me the fuck alone, you hear me, Alfie?”

Alfie’s eyes met mine
, and I saw the relief on his face. “Sure, that’s all I want, for you to hear me out.” I nodded and held my wrist up. He loosened his grasp, and I walked in front of him pushing the door open and entering the building.

Waiting for the
elevator, he stood near the wall, his head hung low, his hands pushed into his front jeans pockets. I looked at his profile, he looked tired, still jet lagged, I presumed. He wasn’t used to the time changes between his country and mine.

We
traveled up to my apartment in silence, not making eye contact once. I unlocked the door and walked directly through to my bedroom. “Wait here,” I ordered. I dumped my purse on the bed and went into the bathroom.

I stood looking at my refle
ction in the mirror wondering why in the hell I was putting myself through all this again. I took a deep breath, and turned, shaking my arms to loosen my shoulders, stretching my neck from side to side, trying to relieve some of the tension I felt.

I walked slowly back to the sitting room
, and he was standing by the balcony door looking out.

The sight of him made me ache for him so badly. Despite all the shit th
at man had put me though; all the hurt, the anger, the mind games, I just wanted him to wrap his arms around me and hold me.

I stared at him, not speaking, and he turned to look at me. His lips curved slightly, not quite a smile, but the hint of one, and he began walking over to me. “Thanks
,” he muttered softly. I sat on the edge of the couch and looked up at him.

“I’m tired Alfie, I really can’t do this anymore. If you keep coming around me like this, I’m going to leave and go home for good.” I’d been thinking about it before Christmas
, and I knew I couldn’t do another semester like the last one with him.

He sat beside me and his knee brushed against my leg. “Lily, what happened between us was amazing, the time
s I spent with you were the best of my life.” I bunched my brows, my sarcasm rising in my throat, choking me, as if a hand was squeezing it.