Falling to Pieces (2 page)

Sam has become such a fixture in my life
the past few months and I don’t know if I can walk away. Losing him completely seems
like more of a risk, than having him break my heart.

I know what I have to do. Sawyer was
right. Without knowing it, we had become exclusive a long time ago. I now just need
to steer my thoughts away from the negative and allow myself to feel.

Starting to feel less like a wine toad,
I took a quick shower and got ready for the party. With my jeans, t-shirt and
boots on, I applied a little make up and blew my hair dry. On my way to the car
I sent Sam a text.

Hey, we need to talk. Are you going to
Jeff’s?

Sam:
Here now.
Shots with
JMan
.
Talk
tmrw
.

No. Talk tonight. It’s important. I will
find you when I get there.

Getting into my car, I realize it is a
little colder out than I expected so I reach into my back seat hoping to have a
sweater of some sort. I see a gray hoodie on the seat and pull it up front to
examine it. The front of it reads Redwood High Baseball. Sam must have left
this in my car and it would be perfect for tonight. I pulled it over my head
and put my car in gear reversing out of the driveway.

Jeff Mason’s family had a farm that was
a few miles down the road from my house and we spent just about every weekend
out here with kids from school. Like most families in Redwood, his owned a
large amount of land and made it easy for us to get away with loud parties
involving under age drinking.

Judging by the message from Sam, knowing
he has been doing shots with Jeff, which are more than likely shots of
moonshine, I can only assume he is already wasted. Considering Sam is usually
the one who stays sober when we go out, it’s hard to believe he is already
hitting the hard stuff when the sun just recently went down.

Knowing his state, I don’t want Sam to
meet me at the fence as usual to walk me up, and decide to risk driving my car
closer to the fire to park. Hopefully, ole’ Betsy won’t get stuck in the mud
later. It is still fairly early and there aren’t too many vehicles parked
around the fire. Austin’s truck isn’t even here yet, but he and Sawyer had to
close up at her family’s feed store tonight. No telling when they would make it
out here.

Shutting my car door, I make my over to
where Jeff is sitting by the fire with some freshman girl on his lap. He is
seriously the biggest man-whore I know. There is no doubt that he will be
shacked up with a different girl before the night is over.

“Hey Jeff, where is Sam?” I ask, making it
a point to ignore his guest. Most of the girls at school think I am bitch, so why
not keep up with the reputation.

“I think he went to take a leak. Check
over by his truck. But watch out, he might be a little drunk.” Jeff laughs,
leaning back in his chair too far, causing them both to crash into the ground.

Laughing and shaking my head, I walk
away looking for Sam’s truck. It didn’t take long before I spotted it down the
line of vehicles. He must have gotten it back from the shop today. Approaching
the green, Ford F150, I didn’t see him at the front and decide to continue my
walk towards the back, as I hear a shuffling sound.

Stopping dead in my tracks, my hand flies
to cover my mouth and drown out my gasp. Sam was sitting on his tailgate, but
he wasn’t alone. Standing between his legs, with her hands running up the back
of his shirt, and her tongue down his throat, is icky Vicky.

Victoria Williams. That bitch. For years
now, she has felt as if we are in some sort of competition. It started the
night I first went out with Brad, not knowing she was also interested in him.
 
Ever since then, in her mind she has
been trying to one-up me by going after all the guys I had hung out with, and
was sleeping with them all. Little did she know, I had already grown tired of
them and couldn’t care
less.
Except
now.

I quickly turned, not wanting to be seen
and made my way back to my car. I ripped off his hoodie and threw it into the
backseat. The welling tears began to drain from my eyes the minute I pulled onto
the main road. This is exactly what I had been avoiding. All along I knew Sam
had the ability to break my heart. I never should have let my guard down.

What was I thinking?

Shit.

What was he thinking?

He knew I was coming out there to meet
him. Just last night he wanted me, only me. Maybe it was my fault for waiting
too long to make a decision, but seriously, twenty-four fucking hours later and
he already has another girl lined up.

To hell with that.

Not only did I choose,
but
I chose him. Only to find him lip locked with icky Vicky.

I’m done and I can promise one thing. I
will never let this happen again. This is why I don’t do these bullshit
feelings.

Pulling into the gas station parking lot
I find my phone and do something that I know will take the pain away. I tried
to warn Sam that I was damaged, but he didn’t want to see it. So now, I need to
show him.

I’m ready to take you up on that offer.

Luke:
Damn sexy, I’ve been waiting for you to give in. Come to my house. NOW.

On my way.

Before I could change my mind, I leave
the parking lot and drive to Luke’s house. In the back of my head I know what I
am doing is more to hurt Sam, than to ease my pain. Luke has been trying to
hook up with me for a while now, but I hadn’t been interested.
Until now.
He is the catcher for the school’s baseball team
and Sam is the pitcher. Call me a bitch, but right now, I’m totally okay with
it.

THE PRESENT

A brightness shining directly in my face
awakes me from what should be a peaceful slumber. In most cases, the obnoxious
snoring coming from behind me would enough to wake anyone. However, the
sunlight, for me is like death to a vampire.

How
can people sleep in such conditions?

I am not even sure what time it is, but
I can guarantee it is way to early for me to be awake after the previous late night.

On the plus side, it does give me an
opportunity to make a quick exit before…

Wait?
Who did I end up going home with last night?

Turning my head, my eyes drink up the
naked body behind me.

Dave.

That’s right. He is the lead singer and
guitar player in a band that has been playing at Penny’s lately. Typically, I
make it a point to stay away from guys in bands. Most of them always seem to
have an air of entitlement about them and think that every girl wants to bang a
rock star. Dream on. I like men to be confident, not cocky.

I met Dave at the bar before the band’s
first set, and was unaware of who he was. We had a few shots together and hit
it off instantly. It should have been a dead giveaway considering he could have
been a Trent
Reznor
look-a-like
;
long black hair and tattoos covering his arms.
 
The fact that he didn’t throw me the ‘
I’m in the band’
card gained him a few extra
points.

He offered to pay my tab and then headed
toward the stage. Looking directly at me as he jumped behind the microphone and
smiled, I was sure he noticed my shocked expression. It was now clear where his
confidence came from and if that wasn’t enough to get me in bed, the voice that
followed sealed the deal. I don’t always work that quickly with a guy I just
met, but there was no chance in hell I would turn him down. And I’m glad I
didn’t. We could definitely do this again.

Very
Soon.

Cautious to not wake sleeping beauty, I
slip out of the bed looking around the sparsely furnished room for my clothes,
which were thrown in every direction last night. My panties, luckily, were
right next to the bed. My bra on the other hand landed on the dresser, not too
far from my top, but my pants were across the room close to the door. Gathering
the scattered articles of clothing, I make my way into the connected bathroom.

Catching sight of my reflection in the
vanity mirror, I practically jumped out of my own skin.

Yikes!

It was a small miracle to wake up before
Dave and spare him the agony of having to see this mess of hair on my head and
black smeared under my eyes. Turning the faucet on low, I wet my fingers before
attempting to clean up some of the horrid mascara remnants. With that taken
care of, I pull my trusty hair tie off my wrist and throw my hair up in a sloppy
bun. This will have to do for now, until I make it home and can wash the rest
of last night off me.

Climbing back into my clothes, I notice
my body aches a little, sore from the late night activities. Dave was a fun
time for sure.

Stealing a swig of mouthwash, I give my
teeth a quick swish around before attempting my exit.

Slowly opening the door, I tiptoe out of
the bathroom. The whole awkward morning after routine is the worst, so I do my
best to avoid them all together. Just shy of the door, I take one last look at
the sexy, tattooed, musician and wind up walking straight into the doorframe.

“Shit.” I hiss rubbing the side of my
head.

The rustling of the sheets informs me
that my stealthy exit failed miserably.

“Hey, are you alright?” Dave asks,
sitting up in the bed, his voice gravelly from sleep.

“Yeah, I’m good. My mom didn’t name me
Grace for a reason.”

Typical Cheyenne
fashion; always a bit clumsy.

“Leaving?” Unashamed, Dave stands from
the bed and stretches in all his naked glory.

Dave wasn’t overly muscular, but had enough
definition to showcase his abs and the uber sexy v that leads straight to the
gold. Distracted by admiring the beautiful artwork decorating almost every inch
of his body, I forgot he had even asked a question until he was standing right
in front of me smirking. It would be easy to spend an eternity just admiring
his tattoos, and would probably take me that long to account for every one that
covers the canvas.

“Uh, yeah. I have some homework I need
to finish before Monday.” I finally answer directing my eyes up towards his
face. His six-foot figure towering over me,
reminded
me
that I still need
to find my heels.

Focus
Cheyenne.

“Last night was…” he pauses to find the
word, “
..fun
. We’re playing at Penny’s again tonight
and next weekend, also. We should do this again.”

“Maybe we will. You have my number.” I
say backing away slowly.

Not every guy ends up with my digits. I
learned that lesson the hard way, after having to start blocking numbers from
my phone. However, Dave seems like the kind of guy who knows the score.

“So we’re good? Need me to walk you out
or anything?” Dave asks with humor in his eyes, stepping closer to me. Yeah, he
knew the score.

“No, I think I can handle it,
rockstar
.” I laugh patting his chest. “I’ll see you
around.”

Turning to make my exit a strong arm
wraps around my waist as he pulls me back up against his
frontside
.

“You will be seeing around.” His breath
against my ear and his hardening member against my back had me considering
jumping right back into his bed, remembering all the things he did to me last
night. I needed to get out of here. “Bye Cheyenne.”

Smacking my ass, Dave releases me and I
safely make it out of his house and into my car.
Looks like I
might be making a trip to Penny’s
tonight to check out the local talent.

Again.
 

In desperate need of a coffee, I stop at
JavaCafe on my way home, knowing Becka would be working. I don’t know how she
manages going out drinking and then working the early shift the next morning. I
have never done well with early mornings, especially if you want me to be fully
functioning, much less pleasant. Becka, on the other hand, has been doing it
since I met her freshman year when we shared a dorm room.

The original plan was for Sawyer and I
to be roommates in college, but after the accident, her family needed help with
their business, which lead her to stay home for the first two years. Becka was a
last minute transfer and was also in need of a roommate. The college paired us
up and it was a perfect match.

Now, here we are a few years later. With
the addition of Sawyer last year we are practically the three amigos. Our
apartment is always loud, filled with music and laughter. There is never a dull
moment. Though lately, it has been more of just Becka and I, since Sawyer is
practically living with her boyfriend Preston.

Last December was a rough month for all
of us after losing Austin, but more so for Sawyer. It hurt so much knowing that
there wasn’t anything I could do to help ease her pain. If I could have absorbed
all of her heartache and endured it myself, I would have done it in a
heartbeat. But since that wasn’t an option, I did the only thing I knew how. I
put my pain aside and was there for her every second she needed me to be;
offering strength and hope that it would be okay. Losing Austin was also really
hard for me; the three of us grew up together. But Sawyer, she had been in love
with Austin, and I cannot imagine what that felt like. Again, another reason
for me to avoid falling in love, unsure I would be able to survive that kind of
loss.

Walking through the door, I pushed my oversized
sunglasses on top of my head and quickly spot Becka behind the counter helping
a customer. Of course, she was looking cute in her customary uniform; dark
green polo, khaki pants and black apron. She accessorized with a large black
bow on the left side of her head wearing her choppy layers flat.

“Well, well, look who it is. Judging by
last night’s outfit I am guessing that you are just now on your way home.”
Becka says shaking her head.

“Yeah, after you mysteriously
disappeared I decided to see if being a groupie was all it was cracked up to
be.” I had been wondering where Becka ended up going last night. One minute she
was at the bar talking with Lilly and the next she was gone; leaving me with only
a text saying she’d see me later.

“So did it live up to all the hype?”

“As a matter of fact, hell yes it did.
Damn, I don’t know why I haven’t been hooking up with musicians all along.” I
order my usual coffee and decide on a chocolate chip scone. She turns to make
my drink but I don’t let her get off that easily. “Oh, and don’t think I missed
how you’re still withholding your whereabouts.”

Becka shakes her head, laughing
nervously, before turning back to me. “You, Cheyenne, are making way more out
of this. I just ended up going back to the apartment.” Lies. I can see it in
her eyes, but I will let it slide for now. I am too tired to argue. “Go grab a
seat. It’s time for my break, so I will bring over your coffee and scone and
sit with you for a few minutes.”

At this hour on the weekend, with most
students still in bed from a late night out, the place is like a ghost town. With
practically open seating, I chose the worn, brown leather couch by the front
window, where I can watch the morning runners go past.

Crazy ass overachievers.

Although, sometimes you can get lucky enough
to catch some of guys from the football team during their morning work out run.
I have always been a sucker for athletes, but my weakness lies with baseball and
more specifically, the pitchers. There is just something about a pitcher’s ass.

 
“I’m still shocked to be seeing you this
early.” Becka says sitting down on the couch beside me, breaking my thoughts of
a certain pitcher’s ass. “You know it’s before nine, right?”

“The major downfall of not sleeping in
my own bed. Some people don’t believe in curtains.”

“I’m not so sure the lack of curtains is
the issue. Not everyone tacks up a blanket in hopes to lure in a vampire. You
might as well be sleeping in a dungeon.”

This is true. Not the luring of the
vampire. Although, if he looked anything like Dave, I would probably let him
bite my neck. My goal is to have complete darkness when I sleep. I installed
privacy blinds, along with a dark purple blanket tightly tacked against the
window, and blackout curtains on top.

“You’re right, but I love it. And I get
the best sleep.”

“Hmmm, then maybe you should try
spending more nights in your own bed. Ever think of that, pal?” Becka laughs.

“Of course I have, but that is not
nearly as fun. Plus, you know I don’t bring guys back to the apartment. That is
a big no-no.” I say finishing off the last of my scone and sipping my coffee.

“Yes, one of the many Cheyenne rules. I
feel like you should have your own handbook or manual by now.” Becka teases.

The girls don’t comprehend my lifestyle
and always give me a hard time, but this is my way of protecting myself. Sawyer
has spent years trying to figure me out with many failed attempts at finding a
guy who will break through. There has only been once when I thought it was
possible, however, still unrealistic. With my so-called rules, I am able to
avoid any chance of this happening or letting a guy get too close. In my
research, I found that attachments start to form after about the third date and
that goes strictly against rule number one. Hence, three became my limit and so
far has worked brilliantly.

“Laugh it up, but one day you might end
up coming to me looking for advice, missy.” First, I needed to find out what
Becka was hiding from me. Lately she has been acting strange and I have made it
my goal to find out why. “So what is the plan for tonight?” I ask changing the
subject.

“I figured if nothing else, we could hit
up Penny’s again. Lilly is working the bar with Chad tonight since Preston is
gone with Sawyer.” The lovebirds were back in Redwood visiting with Sawyer’s
family to celebrate her older brother’s recent engagement.

I never admitted it to Sawyer or even
said it out loud, but I have always had a crush on Ben. He is six years old than
us and by the time I was really starting to notice the opposite sex, Ben had
grown into a man.
A hot man.
I’m been pretty good at
masking my emotions and what’s going on in my head, but it still shocks me that
Sawyer never caught on. She would kick my ass for sure.

“Works for me.
Knucks
Road is playing again tonight.”

“
Ahh
… Does
that mean you will be back to being a groupie tonight?” Becka asks with a
raised brow.

“It did work out rather well last night,
so I guess we will see what happens. Right now though, I am in serious need of
a nap and I have a paper to write beforehand.” Getting homework done on time is
hard to do when you are as big of a procrastinator as I am.