Finding Hope (Love's Compass Book 2) (17 page)

The little one was severely dehydrated. They managed to get him started on fluids and took blood, sending it off for a gamut of tests. The pediatrician on call arrived and checked the baby’s vitals. “Nice job, everyone. I’ll take it from here.”

Lexi watched as he and his team wheeled the baby away to the NICU. She prayed that God would give him strength to endure such a rough start to his life.

She was unable to get the baby boy out of her mind as she finished up her shift. Before leaving for home, Lexi took the elevator up to check on him.

It wasn’t hard to locate the correct incubator. The pediatrician was nearby and he stepped forward when he saw her. “You guys did good work down there. Saved this little man’s life.”

Lexi lightly caressed the tiny hand that rested against his body. “He’ll be okay then?”

“He should be. He’s going to be here for a while, though. The police are still trying to locate his parents, and any other extended family, to piece together what happened.”

Lexi nodded, unable to look away from that tiny face and those perfect lips that were making suckling motions as he slept.

The pediatrician moved to check on another patient and left her to stroke the baby’s cheek.

Sometimes she missed being able to follow through on the patients she helped in the ER. Sure, many of them were treated and released during her shift. Most of the time, however, they were transferred somewhere else in the hospital and she never found out what happened to them.

It wouldn’t hurt to check into other job possibilities like Serenity suggested.

She traced the baby’s fingers one last time and started for home. When she arrived, she discovered she had a houseful. Serenity and Gideon were still there along with Lance and a woman she didn’t recognize.

“Hi everyone,” she greeted as she set her bag down and kicked her shoes off by the front door. This was one of the few nights she would have preferred to be alone. Having Lance there was an extra stress she didn’t need right now. She took her surgical cap off and tossed it on top of her bag.

The others greeted her with waves and smiles. Gideon caught her by the hand and all but dragged her to the table. Once there, he hopped up and down, his face bright, as he motioned to the package of cookies decorated with colored candies.

“I like your thinking, mister.” Lexi ruffled his hair as she watched Lance open the container and pass it around.

“Lexi, this is my sister, Avalon. Avalon, this is Lexi.”

The women shook hands.

Avalon was a little shorter than Lance. She had dark blonde hair that was straight and came to the middle of her back. When she smiled, Avalon’s face revealed two deep dimples that added to the youthful appearance of her face.

“It’s nice to meet you,” Lexi said. “What brings you to Kitner?”

Avalon shrugged, giving Lance a sideways glance that had Lexi wondering what it meant. “I’m visiting my big brother for a few days. I needed to get out of town.”

“Well, I’m sure your family is happy to have you here.” Lexi spotted pizza boxes on the counter. “And God bless whoever brought the food.”

They all ate in comfortable conversation. Lexi enjoyed the food but was so blasted tired she had a hard time focusing or visiting. Once, Lance caught her eye and mouthed, “Are you okay?”

She gave him a quick nod but he didn’t seem convinced.

Lexi stepped into the kitchen to throw her paper plate away and snag another cookie. She heard footsteps behind her and knew Lance had followed her. How she longed to feel his strong arms around her right now.

“I’m worried about you, Lex.”

“I’m fine. It was a rough day at work. Someone found a newborn discarded near a dumpster. We were able to stabilize him, but it was a close call. There are days when the world seems royally messed up.”

“That baby was lucky to have you on his side. Is he going to be okay?”

“He should be. What a really cruddy way to enter the world.” Her eyes filled with tears. He must have been able to hear it in her voice because he turned her to face him.

“God used you and your skills to save him. There’s a lot to rejoice about. We may not know what that baby’s future holds. Maybe he had to go through what he did because he was born into an abusive situation.  All so that he’ll end up in the loving home he deserves.”

Lexi hadn’t thought about it that way. His words were like a balm to her heart. “Thank you,” she whispered. “You always seem to know the right thing to say.”

“Not always.” Lance’s eyes were sad as he studied her. “I miss you.”

“Lance, don’t.”

He was about to say something else when Avalon came into the kitchen.

“I needed another cookie.”

“Right over here.” Lexi picked up the container and held it out to her.

Avalon took one and held it up to her. “Thank you very much.”

“You’re welcome.”

Lexi watched her leave before turning to Lance. “Thank you for bringing dinner tonight.”

“You’re welcome. I know you’ve had a long day. Avalon and I are going to head out and give you guys some down time.”

She nodded and watched him leave. She sagged against the fridge and closed her eyes.

“I miss you, too,” she whispered.

They got Gideon to sleep after Lance and Avalon left. Serenity caught Lexi before she could escape to the quiet sanctuary of her room.

“Rough day?”

“The kind that makes me wish I wanted to take up drinking.” Lexi groaned.

“Lance is a good guy.”

“I know.” If he weren’t so good, it would be easier to move forward and forget what might have been.

“Why are you hesitating?” Serenity’s voice sounded incredulous. She cast a quick glance at the living room and sat down in one of the kitchen chairs. Lowering her voice, she said, “You guys seem perfect for each other. He obviously adores you. He couldn’t keep his eyes off you all night. And do I have to say it again? He’s one of the good ones.”

Serenity was the last person Lexi thought she would talk about this with. But maybe that was a good thing. Maybe it would help open up their relationship. God knew she needed to talk it out with someone.

“I feel blessed. That they caught the cancer early. That I’m able to do treatments and that the hysterectomy hopefully means I don’t have to deal with this again. I feel blessed to have so many people who care about me.” Lexi paused. “But I can’t help but feel a little broken.” She glanced toward the living room where Gideon was sleeping. “I wanted kids someday.” Her eyes filled with tears and they were flowing down her cheeks before she knew what was happening. “I don’t feel whole enough for Lance — or any man right now. I’m trying to let him go, though he isn’t making it easy.”

Lexi let herself cry into Serenity’s shoulder. The weight of the last few days — Lance, the fire, the baby at the hospital, her chemo treatments — it all fell away in hot tears she couldn’t seem to keep back. 

Serenity rubbed her back, whispering, “It’ll be okay, Lexi. You’re tough. Everyone needs to fall apart sometimes and there’s nothing wrong with that.”

As the tears subsided, she took the napkin Serenity handed her and blew her nose. Wiping her eyes with a fresh tissue, she released a lungful of air. “Thanks. Sorry about that.”

“Don’t apologize. You’ve always got it all together. You always have. It was the one thing I most admired about you — and that drove me crazy.”

Lexi blinked at her. “I don’t have it together. Not even close.”

“Then you fake it well. Lexi, when we were kids, you knew you wanted to be a nurse. You have always been comfortable in your own skin. I’ve wished I were more like you for a long time.”

“I always thought you felt the opposite. There were many times I wondered if you hated me.” She half expected her little sister to chuckle and tell her she was joking.

“Because I was the screw-up teenager who got pregnant and couldn’t keep her boyfriend. I didn’t go to college. I’m the single mom who will probably remain single for the rest of my life.” She paused and shrugged. “The last thing I wanted was your advice because I knew you would be right and I still wouldn’t be able to fix my life. I never hated you. I think, at times, I hated myself.”

“Oh, Serenity. I never knew you felt that way.” She tipped her head back and closed her eyes, her temple throbbing. “All those times I tried to help when you were pregnant. Trying to convince you he would come back was a mistake.”

“I believed you, Lexi. I felt in my heart you were right. When you weren’t… I decided I had a real reason to be angry at you.” Serenity was crying now, sniffing and taking ragged breaths. “I was wrong to punish you for something that wasn’t your fault. I’m sorry.”

“Oh, sweetie, I am, too.” Lexi gave her sister a hug — the kind of embrace that was long overdue. She cupped Serenity’s face with her hands. “I love you. And I’ve missed my sister.”

Serenity grinned through her tears. “I’ve missed you, too.”

“No more letting stupid stuff get between us. Angry or not, we need to talk. Deal?”

“Deal.” They shook hands and then hugged again.

Serenity blew her nose and took a deep breath. “I ran into him a couple of years ago.”

“Gideon’s father?”

“I hardly recognized him. He’d put on weight and shaved all that facial hair. But I knew it was him. We talked for a few minutes. He had no interest in Gideon at all. And you know what? I was okay with that. Because we’re better off without him. Gideon is better off without a man who can’t be the type of dad he deserves.”

Lexi observed the baby sister that now seemed grown up. “I’m proud of you. You’re an amazing mom. Gideon couldn’t ask for better. I’m thankful you’re my sister.”

“Right back at you.” Serenity laughed as they grabbed fresh napkins. “Look at us. We’re a couple of real messes.”

They sure were. But Lexi didn’t care. She had her sister back.

~

Lance and Avalon headed back to his place after they had dinner at Lexi’s. He’d had fun reconnecting with Avalon, but she still hadn’t gone into many details about what had happened to her in Arizona.

It was driving him a little more than crazy. He studied her out of the corner of his eye. “When are you going to tell me more about this husband of yours?”

“Do you promise to listen and not judge?”

“To the absolute best of my abilities.” He couldn’t see her expression in the dark. “Then, if there’s anything I can do to help, we can talk about that.”

One thing had always been true of Avalon — you didn’t push her into something she didn’t want to do.

He tried to picture this Duke in Arizona and it was like staring into a black hole. A surge of protection went through him at the thought of anyone hurting his sister.

He didn’t think she would say anything until her soft voice spoke above the noise of the road.

“Duke and his family own a farm right outside of Yuma, Arizona. They raise winter lettuce and broccoli mostly.”

“You left Texas to marry a farmer. You see the irony in that, right?”

She slapped his arm. “Yes, I do. Do you want to hear this or not?”

It was all Lance could do to keep in a chuckle. He cleared his throat. “How did you end up down there in the first place?”

“After I left college, I bounced around between several jobs. I was driving through Yuma when I saw a job posting for one of the local farms. They needed help over the summer. They held classes for kids to teach them more about the agriculture in the area and its importance to our country. It sounded fun and different. I was sick of working fast food or indoor retail. It turned out that Duke’s family was one of the main sponsors and he taught a few of them himself.” She paused. “It was love at first sight. We got married July 15
th
.”

Avalon working with kids. He could see that even if he couldn’t picture her as a farmer’s wife. “What happened?”

“I still believe we’re in love. But we don’t know each other. Not really. His family hates me.” Her voice caught. “His mom told me I didn’t belong there and I should leave before I ruined Duke’s life.”

Lance threw another glance at her. What kind of woman told her new daughter-in-law something that hateful?

“She sounds like a real winner.”

“Right?”

“What are you going to do?”

“I don’t want to quit. And honestly, I’m tempted to stay if only to spite her.” Avalon moaned. “But I feel like it’s me against the world over there. Duke is great, but he’s having to deal with a lot concerning his family, too. My presence there is causing problems for him and I don’t want to make his life more difficult.”

“If you choose to leave him and move back here, are you doing it for you? Or for Duke? Or for his family?”

She considered him for a moment before saying, “That’s a good point. I’m not even sure right now.”

“Then that’s an area you need to pray about.  When you’re faced with a confrontation, you tend to back down to avoid it. Don’t let his mother determine what happens between you and Duke. A marriage is a big commitment. A divorce is no small thing, either.”

Avalon leaned over to hug his arm and lay her head against his shoulder. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For not judging me and for trying to help me see things in a different way. That’s what I needed.”

“Does Duke know you’re here?”

“No. I said I needed time to think and didn’t tell him where I was going.”

“If you had, would he come after you?”

She thought about that. “Probably.”

“That may be a key to the answer there, too. It sounds like he cares about you.”

Avalon looked wistful.

“And you love him.”

“I do.”

“Things worth having are always worth fighting for.”

~

Lance’s thoughts were on Lexi. Using his lathe, he’d been working to transform the charred Chandler table legs into something for each member of the family. He’d made a lot of progress and hoped to finish the last two soon.

The workshop door opened and he watched as Tuck strode in.

“I’ve been seeing a lot of you lately. What’s up?”

Tuck checked his watch. “I’ve got a couple of minutes and wanted to check in. Any progress with Lexi?”

Lance filled him in on the basics from the last few days. “I don’t think ambushing her at her apartment for a third time is the right thing to do. We haven’t even had the opportunity for a real conversation without being interrupted.”

“The company you contracted is going into the house today to gut the kitchen and replace the flooring and walls. Everyone is moving back in on Saturday morning. We’re having a family dinner that night since Lexi has to work Sunday evening.” Tuck paused. “Consider yourself invited. Come by and I’ll make sure you have a chance to talk to her.”

Lance nodded. “I’ll be there. Thanks, Tuck.”

“Anytime.”

~

Lexi got off work at six on Saturday morning. She went home, ate breakfast, and had no trouble going to sleep.

Her alarm went off in the afternoon, giving her plenty of time to take a shower, change into a pair of jeans and a dark blue shirt, and drive to the Chandler house.

Patty showed her the kitchen. A lot of progress had been made in the last few days. Damaged appliances had been removed and a new fridge plugged into a working outlet. Lexi smiled when she spotted the photo magnet in its new location.

Patty put an arm around her shoulders and gave her a squeeze. “Tuck said the contractors will work hard to get this finished before Thanksgiving. Praise God Lance had some connections or who knows what we would have done.”

Lance. Just his name made her pulse quicken and her chest ache. He was a true friend no matter what happened between them. Just like he’d said he would be. Patty was still talking and Lexi did her best to focus on her words.

“I’m thinking about ordering a double oven this time around.”

Lexi nodded with a smile. “That’s a good plan.” She glanced behind them to make sure Grams was out of earshot. “Is she doing okay about the table?”

“She’s sad about it. But she’s tough. She’s gone through a lot worse and she’s not letting it get her down.” She paused. “We can all learn a lot from Grams and the way she’s always handled challenges and loss in her life.”

It was true. “With dignity, prayer, and by never giving up.”

“Yep.”

They heard the front door open and Lance’s voice floated into the kitchen as he greeted people.

Lexi’s shoulders sagged and Patty gave her a tighter squeeze.

“Grams isn’t the only one who never gives up.”

Patty chuckled. “You might have found a person who’s as stubborn as you are.” With a wink, she turned and joined the others in the living room.

Someone else approached Lexi. There was no mistaking the towering figure of Tuck. “I hate you.”

He laughed loudly, resting an elbow on her shoulder. “No you don’t.”

“Don’t be so sure.”

“Come on, big sister. Hiding in here won’t do you much good.”

She tried to give him a stern look, but the grin on his face was too much and she ended up smiling at him in return. She gave him a nudge with her shoulder before walking into the living room.

Lance met her gaze with a warm smile, his eyes questioning her. She returned it with a small wave before averting her attention to Grams. 

Tuck and Laurie had picked up the meal on the way there: barbecue summer sausage and brisket with baked beans and rolls. He told them all he figured they would eat enough sandwiches over the next month. They could put leftovers in the fridge and he would come by the next day with a microwave so they could at least heat food back up again.

Conversation centered on the work that would be done in the kitchen.

Rogue, was lying on the floor near Lexi, his eyes going from plate to plate in hopes of a scrap of food.

Lexi nudged him with her foot and gave him a wink. “I’ve got you covered, boy.” She moved a bite of sausage to one side of her plate so she could save it for him.