Finding Hope (Love's Compass Book 2) (2 page)

He watched her leave, admiring the way she carried herself. Lexi had always appeared certain of who she was and where she was going. It was one of the many things that had drawn Lance to her when they were in high school.

Tuck had known about his infatuation with Lexi, but few others did. Lance said nothing about it at the time because he knew she was leaving for college while he still had two years of high school left to complete. A part of him always regretted not putting himself out there and seeing what would have happened.

That was a long time ago and they were in very different places now.

He tried to shake the woman from his thoughts and headed back to Davenport Carpentry.

Lance slid the heavy wooden door open, the scents of pine and cedar escaping to swirl around him. Minute bits of sawdust floated in the air, illuminated by the ray of sun that cut through it. He inhaled deeply.

Memories vied for his attention. He remembered playing with a wooden train on the floor of the workshop while his dad created a table. Another time, he’d sat on his dad’s lap as he helped with the lathe for the first time. The sense of pride and accomplishment when he crafted his first piece all by himself brought a smile to his face. And he’d never forget the happy tears in his mom’s eyes when he’d given her the little box with a heart on it for Mother’s Day.

There was no way to count how many hours he had clocked watching his dad. Peter had proven time after time he had a true gift and could turn any piece of wood into a work of art.

Thinking about his dad at home, one side of his body weakened from the stroke, made Lance feel sick.

If there was one person who would go insane sitting at home and doing nothing with his hands, it was Peter Davenport.

Lance wandered around the workshop, letting his palm touch the metal of the circular saw.

It had been difficult to leave his job at the Kitner Police Department. But he wasn’t about to turn his back on the woodworking business that was part of his family’s history.

~

Lexi tried to pull the paper gown down and tuck it under her bare legs. The effort resulted in a small tear in the paper. Yeah, that was helpful.

It was bad enough to sit through the hour-long wait to see her gynecologist, Doctor Yates. The exam and discussion when he arrived lasted all of fifteen minutes. Hardly a fair trade.

Gingerly, she touched her right side. She’d been experiencing pain for months now. Sometimes it would ease up or disappear altogether, but those instances were getting fewer and farther between. What had started out as a twinge had turned into a stabbing ache that made its way into her hip. By the end of the day, she looked forward to relaxing in a hot bath with some Epsom salts. If she tossed in an ibuprofen or two, it usually took the edge off.

This new level of pain convinced her to call the doctor. She figured it was an ovarian cyst that would not go away on its own and she was tired of dealing with the discomfort.

Now she was shivering in the cool air of the room and wondering if she shouldn’t have given it more time to resolve on its own. Goodness knows, she had better things to do than freeze to death wrapped up in a paper gown like a slab of meat at the butchers.

Lexi was about to step down from the exam table and get dressed again when there was a light knock on the door. She jumped and made sure the joke of a covering was still tucked in around her when a woman entered the room.

“Alexis Chandler? I’m Tina and I’ll be performing your sonogram. Once I’ve taken images and measurements, I’ll have the doctor come in and talk with you.”

Lexi nodded. She was glad Doctor Yates would be in to give her his opinion the same day. She had experience reading ultrasound images herself and hoped that she might pick out the ovarian cyst.

Doing her best to remain covered, Lexi scooted down on the bed, lying flat on her back.

Tina asked several questions about her pain before beginning the procedure.

Lexi twisted her head to see the monitor and immediately spotted a dark-colored ring. The tech took measurements and moved the wand around as she manipulated organs to get a better view. Lexi dug her fingernails into the palms of her hand and tried not to whimper at the pain that resulted.

After putting the wand back in its place, Tina stood from her stool. “I’ll go get the doctor. He’ll want to take a look himself. I’ll be right back.”

Lexi watched her go and tipped her head back with a roll of her eyes. The last thing she wanted was to lie on the table any longer than she had to. She rubbed her arms to ward off the goosebumps. Her stomach was a ball of nerves. She wanted to be almost anywhere else right now.

Thankfully, they returned within moments. Tina stood to the side while Doctor Yates sat down on the stool. “I’ll take a quick peek here and then I’ll elaborate on the findings.”

She nodded at him to continue and tried to ignore the dread that was stretching tendrils out to every fiber of her being.

Without watching the monitor, she waited until he had finished and told her she could sit up.

“I know you’re a nurse, so I’ll come right out and give you the results.” He pulled up one of the sonogram photos Tina had taken and tapped the dark ring. “You have a fluid-filled pocket on the anterior side of your right ovary. I wish I could tell you this is a cyst. But here,” he circled the white center of the ring, “appears to be a solid mass.”

A mass.” Lexi heard herself say the words, but it sounded like they were coming back to her through a tunnel. That her pain was caused by anything more than a stubborn ovarian cyst had never occurred to her. Now she tried to wrap her mind around that idea and it wasn’t working.

“Most likely it’s benign, but this isn’t something you want to assume. It will not go away on its own and it’s causing you discomfort.” Doctor Yates wrote some notes down in her chart. “At the least, the mass needs to be removed.”

Of course it needed to be removed. If there was even a remote chance that the mass wasn’t benign, Lexi was tempted to reach in and yank it out herself. She felt betrayed by her own body. She wasn’t even thirty years old — whether a mass was malignant or not shouldn’t be on her radar. “What do I do?”

“I’m going to refer you to an oncologist. It’s better to go that route because if the doctor gets in there and it isn’t benign, you can be sure you’re getting the best care.”

Oncologist. Ice penetrated her heart. The chill traveled through her blood to every part of her body. She realized Doctor Yates was still talking and forced herself to focus on his words.

“Go ahead and get dressed. I’ll come back in with some information.” He paused, studying her closely. “Are you okay?”

Lexi stared at her legs, no longer seeing the flimsy paper gown. Minutes ago, covering her legs had been a priority. Now, she felt exposed in an entirely different way. There had been many things she’d taken for granted in her life, including her health.

The doctor was waiting for a response. She nodded and watched as he walked out of the room followed by the technician.

Was she okay?

Not remotely.

She got dressed again, her fingers numb as she tried to smooth the front of her shirt. A twinge in her side made her cringe. She’d always pictured a cyst on her ovary. Now, in her mind’s eye, she imagined a nasty little monster clinging to her organ and sucking the life out of her body.

There was a knock on the door and it swung open. Lexi jumped and folded her arms.

Doctor Yates handed her a piece of paper. “Here’s the name of the oncologist I’m referring you to. She’s in the Dallas area, but it’s worth the drive. Her office will call you back this week to schedule an appointment. If you don’t hear from them, call them on Monday.” He handed her a pamphlet. “This has information about the process you’ll be going through to determine what the mass might be. As a nurse, I’m sure you’re familiar with all of it and you may have resources where you work that other people might not have access to.”

Lexi reached for the information. “I appreciate that.”

Five minutes later, she stepped out of the doctor’s office and into the sunshine. It was an unseasonably warm summer, and she could feel the heat on her arms. It did little to thaw the chill inside her. Somehow, she managed to put one foot in front of the other until she was enveloped within the safety of her car.

She tossed the information onto the passenger seat. The words at the top of one piece of paper — Cancer Center — seemed to leap off the page. She moved the pages so that it ended up at the bottom and the words were no longer visible.

Her shift at the hospital didn’t start until that evening. All of the plans she’d had for the rest of the afternoon seemed trivial.

What was she supposed to do now?

~

The mix of emotions in Lexi’s gut were swirling as she pulled up in front of the Chandler house Sunday evening. She had her own apartment in Kitner, but coming here always felt like home.

Until today.

Church had been a blur that morning. She’d tuned everything out and had counted the minutes until she could escape before her family noticed something was wrong.

Lexi sat up straight and glanced at her reflection in the mirror. How could she appear the same on the outside, when everything she knew about her life had changed in the span of a doctor’s appointment?

She worked to smooth her hair and get the wayward strands under control. If only she could rein her thoughts in so easily.

She would focus on the welcome home party and get through the evening.

Lexi couldn’t wait to see Tuck and Laurie again. It was going to be fun to interact with them as a married couple and to tease them about their honeymoon at a dude ranch. She had every intention of keeping the visit light.

She wasn’t about to mention her doctor’s visit or that she had an appointment with the oncologist in Dallas the following week. But her family was close and she prayed they wouldn’t notice that something was wrong.

The last thing she wanted to do was talk about it and see the expressions on their faces when they got the news.

Taking in a deep breath, Lexi closed her eyes and prayed for strength. God knew she needed a steady spirit and a large dose of courage if she was going to get through tonight.

She reached for the two bags of chips in the passenger seat, straightened her shoulders, and tried to focus on the fact she would be seeing her little brother for the first time in a week.

The thought brought a genuine smile to her face. She clung to that as she approached the front door.

Before she could reach for the knob, it swung open and her mom, Patty, was smiling at her.

“Come on into the air conditioning, Alexis. It’s a hot one today.”

Lexi wasn’t going to argue with that. It was the final day of August and September promised to be another scorching month.

She was ushered inside with a hug. Goose bumps appeared on her arms as the cool air hit her, but they disappeared just as fast. Her eyes scanned the living room and landed on the tall form near the kitchen.

Tuck glanced up from his conversation with Grams and Laurie to flash that winning smile at her.

They met in the middle, Tuck easily lifting her until her feet no longer touched the carpet. Lexi chuckled. “It’s good to see you!”

“You, too. I missed you all.”

When Lexi’s feet were back on solid ground, she turned to give Laurie a hug as well. “How were the mountains?”

“They were amazing,” Laurie responded, her eyes shining. “I’m trying to convince Tuck that we need to buy some property and start a farm.”

“She wants to raise goats.” Tuck said, intentionally wrinkling his nose. He bumped into his new bride.

“Among other things,” she retorted, leaning into his side.

The front door opened again and Lexi heard Lance’s voice.

“I wasn’t sure whether you two would be here or not.” He sat the two bottles of soda and jug of tea down in the kitchen before returning. “I half expected you to call and tell us you’d decided to stay at the dude ranch permanently. Maybe join the rodeo scene.”

“If we did that, who would keep you in check?”

Lance threw a punch at Tuck, who expertly deflected it. The men gave each other a bear hug, complete with back pounding.

“Or maybe you need me to keep tabs on you.” Lance raised an eyebrow at Tuck.

Lexi shook her head and laughed. The guys had been like this since elementary school and she found the predictability in their friendship to be especially comforting today.

She exchanged a hug with Grams, and little sister, Serenity, when she came in.

“Where’s Gideon?”

Serenity motioned to the hallway behind her. “He’s finishing up a game. I set a timer for him. He should be out in a few minutes.”

Serenity’s son, who was turning five in November, had autism. The boy had an amazing ability to focus on the task he was completing, but had a hard time transitioning to something new in certain situations. A timer had been an effective way to help signal to him when it was time to move to a new subject or event.

“How’s work going?”

Serenity was employed at Powell Elementary School. Now that it was summer, she was working sporadically. Currently, she was in the middle of a two-week session for children with special needs who benefited from academic help through the summer. She shrugged. “Everything is going well. It’s odd to think Gideon will be starting kindergarten over there next fall.”

“It’ll be a huge blessing for you to be working at the same school he’s attending.”

“Yes, it will. I’m having a hard time imagining him ready for school by then. But a lot can happen in a year.”

Serenity carried on a polite conversation before she moved off to speak with Lance and Laurie.

Lexi fought back a sigh. Her relationship with Serenity had been nothing but polite since before Gideon was born.

When Serenity had become pregnant with Gideon, her boyfriend left her. Since both of them were teens and immature, Lexi had kept assuring her little sister that once Jay saw the baby, he would change his mind and be a part of their lives. She had built up Serenity’s hope.

After Gideon was born, Jay was nowhere to be seen. Serenity tried to contact him and convince him to come see his new son. She never saw her boyfriend again.

As a teen mother who was dealing with a newborn and hormones, Serenity lashed out at her older sister.

Lexi knew that Serenity blamed her for a lot of things. But Serenity had shut her out and refused to talk about it. It only got worse when Gideon was diagnosed with autism.

It hurt that Serenity never did more than carry on a superficial conversation. But there wasn’t much Lexi could do, so she hung in there. She hoped that, one day, she could break through the wall that Serenity had placed between them.

The sounds of her family talking broke through her reverie.

Someone had said something that must have embarrassed Laurie because her face was a shade of red that was not unlike her long, curly hair. Tuck put an arm around his bride protectively and tugged her to him, leaning down to kiss her on the temple. Laurie ducked her face into his chest and giggled.

Lexi enjoyed watching the newlyweds interact with each other and with the rest of the family. Thinking of her little brother as a married man would take some getting used to, but it certainly seemed to suit him.

~

Lance ate the last of his second piece of chocolate cake and relaxed in one of the kitchen chairs. He brushed a hand over his goatee to make sure there were no lingering crumbs.

It was good to be at the Chandler house. He’d spent a lot of time there since his childhood. It was like his home away from home.

A movement in the living room caught his attention. He watched as Lexi stood in front of family photos sitting on a shelf. She was observing one of her parents that was taken less than a year before her father had passed away. He thought little of it until he caught her swiping away a tear with one finger.

Instantly alert, Lance excused himself from the conversation and approached her. When she spotted him, he heard her sniff before she turned to face him. She had managed to school her features. He might have imagined the emotion he’d seen moments ago if it weren’t for the worry lines at the corners of her mouth.

“Hey, Lance.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yep. Is there any cake left?”

The woman had always hated to be the center of attention. Especially when her own emotions were involved. Lance debated whether he should let it go, but his gut told him to insist. Lexi might be good at hiding her emotions, but he knew something was going on.

“Do you want me to get your mom? Or Tuck?”

“Absolutely not.”

The intensity of her response surprised him and only proved he was right.

His thoughts must have shone on his face because Lexi rolled her eyes and exhaled. “Look, Lance. I’m sorry. I’m not about to dampen spirits around here. This is Tuck and Laurie’s night. Period.”

“There is something wrong, then.”

“Let it be.”

He watched her walk away. Now what was that about?

Lance enjoyed the welcome home party, but he found his thoughts continued to drift to Lexi. She mostly seemed herself, but her level of enthusiasm appeared forced. No one else noticed, but then most of the focus was on the newly-married couple.

What he didn’t miss was that Lexi made a point of not meeting his eyes. The image of one of the strongest women he had ever known wiping away a tear continued to trouble him.

~

Lance put the last coat of paint on a set of two bookcases and stood back to examine them. Satisfied, he placed a lid on the can and used a hammer to seal it closed again.

He had to admit that the business was keeping him a lot busier than he had anticipated. His dad had built a large customer base. When he could no longer work, Lance half expected many of them to leave. He’d been pleasantly surprised to find they put their trust in him as well. It was a realization that both humbled him and inspired him to live up to the Davenport Carpentry name.

He still missed his career as a police officer. There was something about being able to make an immediate difference in other people’s lives. He wasn’t sure creating a piece of furniture or repairing a cabinet had quite the same effect.