Finding My Way (17 page)

If it was any other
girl, I might have invited her to the club for a drink now, or asked myself in
to her apartment for one.  But I don’t think she would say yes to either
and I really think I better take things slow with her. 
Me? 
Slow?  I must be losing it!

I thank her for her company
and grab hold of her other hand and stare into her eyes for a moment.  I
take a step closer to her and I almost kiss her then.  Oh I so want to
grab hold of her and kiss her good.  Instead, I let go of her hands and
hug her.  I draw her in tight, my arms around her back.  When she
hugs me back I’m surprised at how comfortable it feels, like she belongs
there.  I’m fighting the urge to put my mouth on hers and yet hugging her
feels almost as intimate…
almost.

“Bye Nick.”  She
replies in her sweet voice that makes me smile.  I love the way my name
sounds from her lips.  I hastily head back in the direction that we just
came and make my way the short distance home.  I resolve not to look back,
because if she’s looking my way I may just have to go back and kiss her. 
By the time I reach my driveway I remember that I didn’t even get her
number. 
Man I’m losing it!

“Nicky, your dinner’s
in the oven.”  Mum calls from the kitchen when I shut the front
door.  I head down the hall and round the corner to the kitchen. 
“How was your day?” she asks.

“Hey Ma,” I say as I
give her a peck on the cheek.  She is standing at the sink doing the
dishes.  “Sorry I ate already.”

“I’ll put it in the
fridge for later then.”  She says with a smile. 
Gotta
love my mum, nothing ever fazes her.  “So you going out with Dan tonight,
I suppose.”

“Of
course!”
  I say giving her a wink.  “I’m
gonna
go shower.”

When we get to Mum
and Dad’s
Tahlia
heads straight for her room, which
leaves me to head for mine.  My old room is a lot barer than it used to be
but other than that, it hasn’t changed.  Still the same single bed that I
slept in since I was little, the same desk in the corner, now empty, and the
same teenage posters on the wall.  I put my bags down on the desk and sit
on my bed mulling over whether I should move back here for a bit.  Of
course I would have to get rid of this furniture and bring in my current bed
and belongings; maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.

Tahlia
yells out that she’s going to take a shower as I go to the kitchen to get a
drink.  Looking in the fridge I can’t help but breathe a sigh of relief
when I see that Mum has left us a casserole of some sort with a note to heat it
in the oven for thirty minutes attached to the lid.  Yes!  No cooking
tonight.  Thanks Mum!  I grab a can of beer and go into the backyard
where I find Moggy, our fat old black and white cat lounging in the sun.

“
Heya
puss!”
  I say to her as I give her a pat
and she starts to purr.  She rolls over contentedly and stretches.  I
rub her belly too for a moment before she gets up and walks away.  Typical
cat, only wants to be your friend when she feels like it.

I sit down on a deck
chair and relax for a little, thinking about Emma.  I hope
Tahlia
is okay with going on a date with us.  That
seems too weird even to think about, the three of us together.  I wonder
what’s even on at the movies.  I pull out my phone and check out the
cinema app.  There doesn’t seem to be much on at the moment that would
suit a date with a thirteen year old and Emma.  Maybe we should just go to
dinner or lunch?  Distracting myself from the indecision, I spend the next
ten minutes or checking out my Facebook newsfeed. 
Tahlia
comes out and sits in the chair next to me.

“So butch, what’s the
plan for this evening?”  She looks at me expectantly.  Now she looks
like the
Tahlia
I’m used to seeing, wearing black
tracksuit pants and a black t-shirt with ‘Parental Guidance Recommended’
written on it in large white font.  Her multi-coloured hair and multiple
earrings completing her ‘rebel’ look.

“Mum left us a
casserole in the fridge for dinner and I dunno
,
what
do you want to do?”  I ask turning to her.

“How
about a game of pool?”

“You’re
on,
I hope you handle getting beaten princess!”  I
tease as I stand.

“BRING IT ON!” 
She yells in my ear as she jumps on my back.  To my relief, I only have to
carry her for a few steps before she jumps off.  She is way too big and
heavy for piggy back rides.  She may be only thirteen but she’s already
nearly the same height as me.

A couple of hours
later, I am down 6 games to 4.  The last few games she’s been wagering me
for things to do this weekend.  Already I’ve agreed to watch a horror
movie with her after dinner, buy her fish and chips and update her iPod with a
couple of my CDs.

“I’m getting hungry,
last game.”  I say as I miss yet another shot, she’s thrashing me this
game.

“Alright,” she
agrees, “but if I win this one you have to take me to the skate park tomorrow
and not just to watch, you have to skate too!”

“Okay.”  I know
she’s going to win and I also know that I’m a pushover when it comes to my
little sister.  “But we might have to go on Sunday because I kind of have
plans tomorrow… a date.”

“A
date?
  And what am I supposed to do?  You know you can’t leave
me here by myself!”  She says in a slightly panicked voice.

“I wasn’t going
to!  I’m afraid you’re
gonna
have to come with
me.”  I shrug.

“Seriously… go with
you… on a date?”  I can see a mixture of horror and amusement on her
face.  “And where are we all going on said ‘date’?”

“Well I was thinking
dinner and a movie…”

“Oh
that old cliché huh?
 
Sounds thrilling!”
 
Tahlia
says sarcastically.

“Well you got any
better suggestions smart-arse?”

“I’m thirteen Seth,
how should I know?  Besides you already promised me fish and chips
tomorrow night.”  She says mockingly as she pockets the black ball. 
Game over.  “I win!  We’re going to the skate park.”

Three hours later,
after eating Mum’s delicious dinner (oh how I miss her cooking) and watching
the stupid movie that
Tahlia
chose, I find myself
feeling cramped in my old bed, at a loss about Emma.  It’s bad enough that
I’ve invited her on a date with my sister, but how can I seriously offer her
fish and chips for dinner as well?  Usually I’m not one to renege on a bet
but this time I think that I’ll have to.  I want to impress Emma not scare
her off completely.

Hours after saying
goodbye to Nick I am tucked up in my uncomfortable bed, wishing I could have my
new one already, and I realise that my cheeks ache from all my smiling.  I
don’t think the arc of my upturned lips has dropped since I said goodbye to
him.

Exhausted, I reflect
over my day.  Did all of that really happen?  Since Josh has been my
one and only boyfriend, I have never even been on what you would call a ‘date’
before.  I thought I would have time to mentally prepare for my first-ever
date and I certainly didn’t think it would be with Nick!

He is gorgeous, he
has the most amazing and unusual blue eyes.  He’s funny and even though he
seems to get a kick out of embarrassing me,
a lot
, and the whole
stalking hiccup aside, I do felt comfortable with him.

As my eyelids get
heavy I remember… Seth… I realise that he hasn’t called me.  He was
supposed to call me… and I drift off to sleep.

Dan has the music
pumping when I arrive at his apartment.  I knock a few times on the door
but he doesn’t answer.  So I try the handle and it’s unlocked.

“Dan!” I call
out as I enter his place.  I make my way through to the living room. 
Still no sign of him.
 “Dan!” I call again
but don’t get a response.  I walk over to the stereo and turn the sound
down and that’s when I hear the moaning and ‘yeses’ coming from his bedroom.

“What
the-?”
  I hear Dan call out.

“Dan it’s just
me!”  I answer when I realise he is probably wondering why the music
stopped.  “Just pretend I’m not here!”  I yell out and then turn the
music back up as I laugh out loud to myself.  I grab a beer and get comfy
on the couch and wait.  I wonder who he’s got back
there?

A few minutes later I
hear his bedroom door open behind me, “That was
quick,
you didn’t have to get limp dick on my account!”  I call out to him. 
I get a clip across the back of the head, it’s a feeble one at best and that’s
when I turn around and realise that it was from Jo and not Dan.

“Shut the fuck up
Nick!”  She says as she laughs to hide her obvious embarrassment at almost
being caught in the act.  She goes to the stereo and turns the music back
down.  “I can’t believe you heard us in there.”

“Don’t be embarrassed
Jo,” I laugh at her, “but FYI, I could make you scream much
much
loud-”

Another clip across
the head, but this time a lot harder, I turn to see Dan behind me, “Put a sock
in it arse wipe!”  He says to me trying to look angry but failing. 
His look is of a totally satisfied and just fucked man.

I just laugh and
shake my head.  Dan walks around to the other side of the room.  He
stands behind Jo and puts his arms around her and whispers something in her ear
that makes her giggle.  She slides her hands around to rest on top of his.

“We are still heading
out tonight aren’t we?  Or do you to want to go back in there and finish
up?”

“We’re all good,” Dan
replies, I’m disappointed, I expected more of a come-back than that.  But
he doesn’t even look at
me,
his eyes remain completely
focused on Jo.  He has got it bad!

“Let me just call
Kelly,” Jo says as she goes to her bag to get her phone.

I panic and look to
Dan, who almost looks as panicked as I am.  I didn’t know Jo was coming
out with us tonight and I sure as hell don’t want to see Kelly again.

“Never mind, I’ve got
a text from her already, she’s not coming,” Jo says looking at her phone. 
Then she turns to me and says, rather smugly I might add, “she got a better
offer.”

I breathe a sigh of
relief and I see Dan from the corner of my eye doing the same.

When we get to Club
Vibe I spot Tony right away.  He spots us too and gives me a nod before
his eyes wander over to Jo.  He’s in his usual corner with Rachel by his
side and unfortunately the redhead is there too.  I quickly look away,
hoping she hasn’t seen me.

“Nick
do you mind if we don’t hang with Tony tonight?”
 Dan hollers in my
ear.  “The guy is a dick and I don’t like the way he’s looking at Jo.”

“Suits
me.”
  I yell back to him and head over to the bar with Dan and Jo
at my heels.  I buy Jo a vodka/raspberry and Dan and I a beer each, then
we head over to a lounge on the opposite side of the dance floor from Tony.

We chat a little over
the loud music but mostly I just sit and watch the dance floor and constantly
find my mind drifting back over to dinner with
Em
. 
A couple of regulars at the club join us and I try to focus on the
conversations going on around me but it doesn’t seem to work.  A few drinks
later and my mind
keeps
wondering back to
Em
.  When a pretty little brown haired girl asks me to
dance, I oblige, wanting a distraction.

We make our way to
the dance floor and I let the beat of the music take me over.  This girl
can move, and she makes me want to make a better effort with my own
dancing.  She’s flirty but not sleazy like the redhead or the blonde from
the other night.  I find myself flirting back and I actually start to have
a good time.

After a few songs I
am in dire need of a drink so I imitate the drinking motion to the girl with my
hand.  She nods and follows me to the bar.

“What would you like
to drink?” I ask leaning in to her so she can hear me.

“Rum and coke
thanks,” she smiles sweetly at me as a sexy bead of sweat rolls down the side
of her face.

I order the drinks
and carry them back over to our table with her by my side.  I take a seat
next to her and pass her glass to her.  “I’m
sorry,
I don’t know your name.”  I say leaning over towards her.

“Hailey.”

“Hi Hailey, I’m
Nick,” I say holding out my hand.  When she places her hand in mine I
can’t help but think how similar her hand is to
Em’s
. 
In fact her overall size and her hair are also similar.  If I squint just
right she could almost
be
Em
.  Then I
realise what an idiot I’m being.  Why would I even be thinking like that?

I awkwardly look away
and try to focus my attention elsewhere as if this Hailey chick could read my
thoughts.  I watch as Dan lays his hands possessively on Jo’s thigh when
some random guy speaks to her. 
Huh! 
Then Jo squeezes his
hand and gives him a look as if to reassure him that she isn’t interested in
anyone else.  He gives her a wide grin and then a peck on the cheek.

It’s then that I take
a good hard look at my best mate and realise that I cannot remember the last
time, if ever, that I have seen him like this with a girl.  He looks so
bloody pleased with himself that I can’t help but smile at his happiness.