Finding My Way (20 page)

“Oh rubbish, you’re
my best friends!”

Luke jumps up from
his seat beside Kat and puts his arms around me giving me a hug from behind,
squeezing me around the neck and giving me a peck on the cheek.

“Thank you
Em
!  Thank you so much!  It means a lot!” he says
then gives me another squeeze before returning to his seat.

“That’s great
Em
!” says Erin.  I also get a nod from Josh.

“Yeah super gift!”
April chimes in.

“Oh
Em
!”
Kat hugs me too, as she wipes tears from
her eyes.  “Thank you!”

“Ugh no more crying!”
I say wiping my eyes too; glad my gift has gone as well as I hoped. 
“We’ll have no tears left for the wedding!”  She gives me another hug and
a peck on the cheek before letting me go.

I’m pissed when I get
the text from Dan at lunch time saying that he’s not coming tonight.  He
loves to go clubbing and he always takes me up on the free entry I can get him
as my guest.  Not that he helps me out or anything but he usually just
hangs around for moral support and then we party together afterwards.  He
knows how important this gig at Sorry Grandma!
is
to
me, but he’s far more interested in spending time with Jo.  So this time
I’m on my own.

As the day ticks by,
I’m getting more and more nervous.  I’m not sure why
exactly,
I’m not usually a nervous person.  The club is in the city and it’s not
one I’m familiar with, so maybe that’s it.  I would feel better if I at
least had one friend there for support.  But it seems that my only true
friend has somewhere he would rather be, and don’t I sound like a girl whinging
about it?

When I get a second
text from Dan I actually get excited thinking maybe his plans have changed and
he’s coming after all, but no, he just wants me to give him a hand moving some
furniture tomorrow.  I send him a quick response and decide to head to the
gym to get clear my mind.

Saturday’s are always
busy there and that means lots to look at.  I find myself the prime
position in the weights section to have a good perv at all the lovely
ladies.  There are a few that are familiar, one or two I even had the
pleasure to get to know a little, if you catch my drift.  But none of them
take my fancy, so I concentrate on my workout instead.

I have to push myself
extra hard today as I’m feeling a little tired from lack of sleep.  I kept
having this strange repetitive dream last night after I got home from the
club.  I was following
Em
from the train
station, I was calling her name out over and over but she wouldn’t turn
around.  Then I would walk into Con’s shop and she was lying on the bed
testing out the mattresses, just like we did yesterday, she was lying next to
me, except it wasn’t me, I was watching as she was looking at someone that
looked exactly like me.  As I got closer the other
me
would look at the me standing by the edge of the bed and he would laugh and
then I would get angry and wake up.  When I got back to sleep I would have
the same dream.  I don’t know what to make of it.

Tony catches me as
I’m leaving the gym.

“Hey Nick!  Saw
you at the club last
night,
did you have a good time?”

“Yeah man,
you?”  I ask as I stop in front of the reception desk.

“Yeah once Rachel
left I did,” he lowers his voice and leans over the bench with his eyebrow
raised.  “Did the nasty with that little redhead you had your eye on the
other night.”

“Right.”
 
I manage to say over the bile rising in my throat.

“Not
bad that one, not bad at all.”
  He chuckles and shakes his head and
I suddenly feel like vomiting.

“Good for you man, I
gotta
go.  Catch
ya
later,”
I say and practically run from the place.  What I really wanted to say to
his smug face was “I hope you enjoyed my scrappy seconds”.  But then I
would be just as bad as him.  Bragging about who you’ve been with, that
just isn’t my style.  And the encounter with that redhead is something I
don’t particularly want to reminisce about.

I wonder if Tony
knows the redhead had her tongue down that other guy’s throat earlier in the
night?
  Then again he probably wouldn’t care
anyway.  Honestly what do girls see in that douchebag?  I kind of
feel sorry for Rachel now, but then she’s always hitting on me so she’s not
much better than he is.

I wish I hadn’t run
into Tony now but after spending a couple of hours down the gym I start to feel
a little less stressed about the gig tonight, so that’s good.

After lunch,
Tahlia
and I head down the skate park.  Luckily for
me, being without the car doesn’t hinder her enthusiasm.  The skate park
isn’t far from our house and it’s a nice day so we ride our boards down.

Tahlia
knows quite a few kids at the park.  She introduces me to a couple of them
and I recognise Ryan as being a regular, he remembers me too.

“Hey
Seth, how you going?”
  The gangly looking teen asks when we reach
him.

“Ryan.  Good
mate and you?”

“Great,” he replies
then turns all of his attention to
Tahlia
, “Hey
Tahls
,
check
out my new wheels.”

She stands next to
him and they both lean over Ryan’s skateboard and start to talk
animatedly.  I can’t help but notice the way they look at each
other.  It seems that my sister has a crush and I’d say that the feeling’s
mutual.

After fifteen minutes
of playing around
Tahlia
stops her board near me.

“I still don’t know
why you cancelled your date.  In these modern days the girl can always
drive the guy you know.  Just because you don’t have
your
car it
shouldn’t mean that you can’t go in hers.”

“She catches the train
to work so I don’t think she has one.”  I shrug.

“You don’t think or
you know?” 
Tahlia
has a point I suppose. 
“Besides you could have caught the train for your date too, you know.”  I
guess by
Tahlia’s
logic I
do
sound like a
loser for cancelling.  But I’d sound like more of a loser if I called her
again to un-cancel… again, wouldn’t I? 
Tahlia
gives me a pointed look letting me know exactly what she thinks of me and the
mood I’ve been in since I spoke to Emma.

How am I supposed to
face her on Monday at work?  Especially when I feel the way I do, I can’t
get her out of my mind.

Tahlia
turns to Ryan and loudly speaks to him for my benefit.

“The sun’s shining
it’s a lovely day to be outside.  I think butch here should man up and
call the girl he’s obsessing over and invite her to a day at the park.”

“Why doesn’t
he?”  Ryan asks.

“Because
he’s chicken shit!”
  She laughs and jumps from the ramp before I
can tackle her.

But Emma was angry
when I spoke to her, what if she says no? 
Tahlia’s
right I am chicken shit! 
Fuck it!
   I pull out my mobile
and press her number.  It rings a few times, and I think maybe she’s that
so mad at me that she’s going to ignore the call.

The conversation
turns back to the wedding again as our meals arrive.  I’m happily chatting
to Jake, who is sitting opposite me, when my phone rings.  I have a mouth
full of food so I don’t answer straight away.

“Who’s Seth?” Jake
asks, eyeing my phone between us on the table, looking ever so interested.

I almost choke on my
food as I quickly grab it.  “Hello,” I mumble still chewing.

“Hey it’s Seth. 
Please don’t hang up.”

I finally
swallow.  “I wasn’t going to.”  I don’t even feel angry at him
anymore because I’m in such a good mood.  I am however surprised that he’s
calling me at all.

“Where are you? 
It’s
kinda
noisy.  I can barely hear you.”

“I’m at the pub, just
give me a sec,” I say loudly into the phone.

Kat looks at me with
her eyebrow raised as I stand up, giving me a knowing smile.  I walk
outside and stand on the pavement.

“Sorry about that.”

“That’s alright, if
you’re busy…” Seth trails off.

“No, not really, I’m
just having lunch at the pub with some friends,” I say.

“Right, um… well I
was wondering if maybe we could catch up?” he asks.

“Um,” What?  He
cancelled on me, twice, and now he wants to
catch up
?

“You’re busy, maybe
another time then,” he says hurriedly.

“No, no, I don’t have
plans…  I mean we’re just about finished here, I don’t have plans for the
rest of the day.”

“Okay, did you want to
meet me at the park?  I mean since I don’t have a car and all,
Tahlia
and I walked down the skate park.  I thought
that maybe… if you weren’t busy you could join us?  If you can get here
that is.”

“Sure, I’ll drive
over.”  Seth gives me directions and I tell him I will be there in about
half an hour.

I return to my seat,
as Kat stares me down for information.  I ignore her and continue
eating
until I get an elbow in the ribs.

“I’m meeting him in
thirty minutes,” I whisper smirking as her eyes widen.  We can both hardly
contain our excitement, giggling like the schoolgirls we once were.

I glance across the
table at Jake, who obviously is now fully aware of what is going on, and he
gives me a nod and a timid smile, and then continues to eat.  I look over
to Josh and notice that his eyes quickly divert away from us and back to his
food.  Great, he obviously knows too.

I finish my meal and
go to the bathroom before I say my cheerful farewells and leave.

When I hang up the
phone I turn around to find
Tahlia
standing behind
me, obviously she just heard the whole conversation because she has a big smirk
on her face.

“Okay, okay, you
win!  She’s coming here,” I say and I cannot hide my smile, or the
excitement that I feel, from lighting up my face.

An hour later, that
excitement is very fading fast.  Maybe she got lost, should I call
her?  Maybe she changed her mind?  But she sounded happy to come and
she said she would be here.  She also said she was about thirty minutes
away.  Maybe this is payback for cancelling, is she standing me up?

I try not to let the
thoughts in my head get to me as I hang out with
Tahlia
and her friends.

“Hey
there!”
  I hear a familiar voice yell out.  I am so relieved
when I look down to the ground and find Emma standing there.

“Oh
hey!”
I yell back as I jump down to greet her.  “I thought maybe
you changed your mind.”

“I got lost,” she
says.  She seems embarrassed by that, the glow in her cheeks giving her
away and making her
look
so appealing.  I can’t
help but check her out from head to toe.  She looks fantastic in her
figure hugging blue jeans and white fitted t-shirt.  Her hair is down and
oh so shiny in the sun.  Looking into her beautiful green eyes I find it
hard to think a coherent word to say to her.  When her eyes meet mine I
feel that strong connection to her again.  I hear the skateboards behind
me and break away from her gaze.

“Hey
Tahlia
, great job!”
I yell out to
Tahlia
as she does a high flying
ollie
and slows down in the centre of the ramp. 
“Come over here, there’s someone I’d like you to meet.”

Almost an hour later
I finally find the park.  What should have taken me about fifteen minutes
has taken me almost forty-five!  I should have written down the directions
that Seth gave me.  I hate being late for anything, it makes me so
flustered.

Okay, I have to admit
that I am not just flustered, but extremely nervous.  Other than last
night with Nick, I haven’t dated.  I mean I was with Josh since I was
sixteen.
 I haven’t dated
.  I don’t have butterflies in my
stomach,
it’s like a
hurricane
in there.

I park the car, and
head towards the skate ramp.  All I spot are a huge group of kids. 
It takes me a moment to realise one of them is Seth.  He’s wearing grey
cargo pants and a dark green t-shirt, with a knitted grey hat.  He only
stands out amongst the crowd of kids playing in the park because he towers over
most of them.  Gone is the business-like Seth I see at work.

Slinging my bag over
my shoulder I head towards the end of the skate ramp where Seth’s standing. 
The closer I get the more my stomach lurches.  He doesn’t notice me
straight away.  I’m surprised as I watch him jump from the edge on a
skateboard.  He’s pretty fast as he pushes himself down one side and up
the other, balancing on the edge momentarily then dipping back and up to where
he began. 

He steps back and
motions to the girl standing beside him.  She then repeats exactly what he
just did and just as fast too.  He cheers and gives her a high five, she
must be his sister.  By this stage I’m standing right below them, the
hurricane going on in my stomach has also made my heart beat faster.

“Hey
there!”
I manage to choke out.

“Oh
hey!”
Seth jumps down and casually strides over to me.  “I thought
maybe you changed your mind.”