For Both Are Infinite (Hearts in London Book 1) (26 page)

“Why are you leaving?”

“Are you clueless? I don’t think you’re that daft.”

“Darling…” he whispered, reuniting our hands.

I separated them and said, “Don’t. I have to go.”

I walked away from him knowing that with each step I was distancing myself from him physically and emotionally. A piece of my heart crumbled as I stepped into the tube station, and I remembered that I wouldn’t see him again until Sunday when we were to leave for Paris, if we even ended up going after that.

Rhys had never been so cold, so remote, but it seemed something about my leaving his side really bothered him. I didn’t understand why, all I’d done was walk ahead to gain some breathing room. There had to be more to it. I didn’t go straight home because as much as I missed him, I knew I might find him waiting. I needed more time, so I went to Daunt Books and spent over an hour browsing new titles.

The evening passed excruciatingly slow, with silence from his end, yet I managed to check my phone despite its lack of notifications. I showered, got ready for bed, and obsessed over the moment, replaying it second by second to figure out what went wrong. After tossing and turning for an hour, I took out a new book and started reading. An hour later I awoke with the book on my chest and knocking at the door.

There he was; his head hung, his face solemn and pensive as he stood waiting for me. His sad eyes shot up to mine when I opened, and I realized how much I missed him. You always miss someone more when you’re unhappy. But he didn’t seem to miss me, at least it didn’t seem like it, and then I worried that maybe he had come to end things; that he had come to his senses and realized I was too much work.

“Can I come in?” he whispered and I moved aside.

I watched him slowly walk to my sofa and sit to look back at me. “Ellie, come sit with me.”

I hesitated. He noticed and seemed dejected from the caution I took to join him. I kept thinking,
he’s here to dump you
and I started scratching my arms and rubbing my hands meticulously.

“Darling, come here,” he said, his tone softer, and in using my pet name I assumed things couldn’t be that bad. He wouldn’t call me that unless he still cared, right? Or maybe it was habit, the way you revert to calling your parents mommy and daddy. I tightened my robe and joined him on the opposite end of the sofa.

He didn’t grab my hands, though I think he wanted to. Rhys looked away and back at me a few times before speaking, seeming to wrestle with his heart and mind. “I’m sorry for how I acted earlier. I suspect that’s why you left.”

"Yes."

“I need to ask you something…”

“Okay,” I mumbled, staring at my lap afraid of losing happiness I had only just gotten used to.

“You want to be with me, right?” My face dropped, all my features saddening upon his inquiry. He detected it and instantly leaned over, placing his hand on my thigh. “Relax, Ellie. I just need you to answer me.”

“How can you ask me that?” I said, shaking my head, not sure if I was more angry or saddened. “I know things are complicated with me, but I’m trying. I’m the happiest I’ve been in years. How can you not know that?”

“I thought I did, but…” he looked away again. “Today you let me go and rushed off like you were ashamed to be seen with me.”

I put my hand on my face. “Rhys, I freaked out because those girls were following us and I’m not ready to be hated all over the Internet. You’re used to it, I’m not.”

“So you’re not embarrassed to be seen with me?”

“What is there to be embarrassed about? Girls would kill to be by your side. I’m just lucky to be the one you’ve chosen, not because you’re rich and famous, but because your heart knows no bounds.”

He processed my admission, nodding to himself and pursing his lips for a beat, and after a moment the tiny glint of happiness returned to his eyes. They became glassy as he stared at his hands in his lap, but then the sadness returned when he looked at me.

“I feel a bit like a prick. I’m sorry for how I treated you. I didn’t consider how hard it might be for you.” He paused to grab my hand, quietly asking if it was okay; I squeezed in confirmation. “This comes with my territory. I know it’s crazy, but I can’t do anything about it except promise you have nothing to fear when I’m with you. I don’t mean physically, I mean as yours.”

My eyes glistened with tears and I tried looking away to contain my emotions, but Rhys caught on. “What’s wrong?”

“I thought you were going to end things,” I admitted.

Rhys scooted closer to me on the couch and whispered in my ear, “I’m going to mess up every now and then, so will you, but please don't doubt me.”

He planted his lips softly on mine and we both forgave each other. We talked about pictures and how eventually they would be everywhere; that I had to understand it was an unfortunate consequence to his fame. I told him my main concern was Aaron and that they may publish information about him, or his parents, and I never wanted his memory tarnished. Rhys understood and told me that we’d be careful for as long as we could, but couldn’t stop living because of it. I let it go that night, but the thought stayed with me for months and each time I saw my picture being taken, I still thought back to Aaron and prayed they’d never touch him.

∞

The Saturday before Paris, I’d been video chatting with my mother who was ecstatic I was finally taking a trip. She brought up Thanksgiving and Christmas, asking which one I’d be going home for. I hadn’t really considered it, especially since I’d just been home and was busy with Rhys, but I always went home for one. I told her Thanksgiving was more likely than Christmas, secretly hoping to do something with him for the holiday in London. My mother suggested I invite Rhys for Thanksgiving, but I wasn’t sure how I felt about that or how he would feel. Going to Paris was one thing, going home to meet my parents was another; I told her I’d get back to her.

Rhys texted me later that night to ensure I was ready for our trip, and he sent me another song.

Rhys: Happy two months, the best ones of my life.
Latch
- Disclosure and Sam Smith

Me: Best two months? I doubt that, you’ve done some pretty amazing things.

Rhys: Hands down, best ones…yet.

I played the song while I finished packing and we listened to it on the train to Paris the following morning. During the two-hour ride, Rhys confessed that he thought I would have been harder to win over. That he had been adamant about Paris because he hoped I’d fall for him surrounded by the city of love.

“I don’t know what’s worse: your subtle implication that I’m easy, or that you think I need Paris to fall for you.”

“You know what I mean,’ he shoved.

And I did. For a week I had been looking forward to five uninterrupted days with my boyfriend. I was also thrilled to be traveling to a new place, and thanks to Rhys’ persistence, I was finally fulfilling the goal I’d set when I moved. The bullet train was amazing; so fast it created a loud smacking noise when passing another train. It took about two hours to arrive in Paris and when we descended some people recognized Rhys, but he just waved them off and started looking for our driver.

Driving through Paris was surreal; the city lovely and lit by the autumn sun looked exactly like it did in photos and films: extremely chic and quintessentially French. The buildings were charming, surrounded by picturesque caf
és
and women walking their stylish dogs, and the more I took it in, the more I couldn’t wait to see his place.

His apartment was within walking distance to the Eiffel Tower and had to be expensive. My suspicions were confirmed when we took the elevator to the top floor and it opened only after Rhys stuck a key inside. The doors split and left us inside of the apartment that took up the entire floor.

It wasn’t overly large, but quaint and modern like his house. Nothing seemed over the top except for the large, three paned window that faced the Tower. My jaw dropped as I took it in, and I could see him watching me in the corner of my eye, a tiny pleased smirk on his lips.

Rhys walked me around and showed me the kitchen, with its cabinets that matched the dark wood floors, wrapped into a small family room. He left his bag by the elevator, but carried mine and led me to his room first. His room also had a view of the tower, and though it wasn’t a huge space, it was the biggest in the apartment with its own fireplace. Afterward, he took me to my room, which adjoined the last guest room with the bathroom in the middle.

“Sorry you don’t have a view in here,” he said, shrugging.

“Shut up, this is out of this world. Thank you so much!”

“Of course.” He relaxed into my arms and after a quick hug, said, “Get ready for dinner, you have to dress up tonight.”

∞

I had packed several dresses knowing that Rhys would pull out all the stops in Paris. That night I chose a mid-thigh length dress that was a mixture of leather and lace, both elegant and sexy, and I wore my hair down in long waves. I wondered if it was suitable for our plans, but when he knocked on my door and I opened, I knew I’d done well.

Rhys had been looking down at his phone, and when he saw me his eyes opened wide and his jaw dropped. He slowly savored my look, gazing up and down my body and after a loud intake of breath he mumbled, “Wow.”

Then he just continued staring which made me laugh nervously. “It’s not too much?” I asked, turning and giving him a three-sixty view. “You didn’t give me much to go on.”

“No, you look stunning. I’ll have to fight French men all night.”

“Oh my god, Rhys,” I said, rolling my eyes.

“Ellie,” he approached. “Sincerely, you look phenomenal. This dress is sexy and beautiful, but it’s you who demands the attention.”

His compliment unwound my heartstrings, twisting and tangling them into the most delightful knots. Only Rhys could say something sweet and make it sound equally seductive. I looked at him, noticing his black dress slacks, a tight, gray, buttoned shirt, and a black skinny tie. He looked gorgeous and sophisticated, and after glancing at the two of us in the mirror, I thought we complimented each other really well.

Dinner was at the Eiffel Tower. Rhys had told me on the walk there, but I was too distracted by the way it glittered in the night. I was still in a daze as we rode the elevator up to the restaurant, and it wasn’t until we were seated that I really looked at him. He had been watching so closely, analyzing my reactions and trying to read my mind.

I told him it was wonderful, that I couldn’t believe I was there, or that I was with him. I also explained that I considered myself lucky, and was so grateful for him in every way. He stared back at me with a wide smile and a few moments later we ordered. While he discussed wines with the waiter, I took in the city, the lights showing off their orbs that floated in the fog creating an orange haze around the tower.

After a toast I noticed that people in the surrounding tables were staring at us, some speaking in French and Spanish as they looked at each other and then back at us. I became uneasy and wondered what they were saying.

“Does that ever bother you?” I asked him.

“What?”

“People constantly watching you. It’s like you’re in a fish tank.”

“Sometimes, but you get used to it. It doesn’t bother me tonight, though.”

“How come?” I asked, my brows pinching together.

Rhys smiled mischievously. “Because they’re not talking about me….” I squinted at him, not quite understanding. “They recognize me, but what they’re discussing is the gorgeous woman I’m with…the table to the right can’t stop talking about you, the one behind me is trying to Google
Rhys Edwards’ girlfriend
, and these to the left are speaking Spanish, but what I can make out is that the wife loves your dress.”

“And that doesn’t bother you, why?”

“Because, Ellie,” he shook his head, still smirking. “They’re just as fascinated by you as I am. It’s not their fault, they can’t help it.”

The corner of my mouth tilted up and I looked down to avoid his gaze. Shortly after, the waiter served our meals and it was so delectable we ate in complete silence. It basically ruined me for all other foods. Rhys paid, and we walked ahead of the tower to take a picture of us on his phone.

It was sparkling behind us again, and though it wasn’t our best angle, it was a picture of two people high on one another. We stared at it for a moment, laughing at our silly expressions, and then Rhys turned me to face him and kissed me. I lost myself in the way his lips passionately tasted mine, the dizziness it induced, and his hands weaving through my hair. We parted and he said, “You know you look more beautiful than when I met you.”

I shook my head, “Nothing’s changed.”

“You’re mistaken. I didn’t think it possible, because I was awestruck by you even then, but your happiness is shining through every fiber of your being. You’re lighter, and joyous, and knowing I’m partially the cause of that makes me the happiest I’ve ever been, ever will be.”

∞

At some point we walked back to the apartment, only parting ways to change into our pajamas. We reunited in the living room and sat by the fireplace, discussing our plans for the next day, and after much coaxing, Rhys revealed we’d be going to the top of the tower and the Louvre. He also mentioned that he wanted to take me dancing the following night if I wasn’t too tired. Apparently he’d been practicing. We watched some TV for a while, but two hours later I awoke in my own bedroom, assuming Rhys carried me to bed.