Forgetting Yesterday (16 page)

“I’d like that,” I murmured.

He leaned forward, pressing a kiss to my lips. He may have meant for it to be short and sweet but I didn’t let that happen. I threaded my fingers through his hair. I kept his mouth pressed firmly to mine. I opened up to him, allowing his tongue to gently probe, to mingle with mine. His hand slid down, pulling me closer while his other hand skimmed the edge of my shirt, sliding up slowly, past my ribcage until his palm cupped my bra. Heat rushed through me and I found myself moaning, pushing into him, wanting to be closer. Wanting our clothing to be gone. Wanting to feel his skin against mine. Wanting to feel his hands on me, all over me.

“I want you,” I whispered.

It was all the prompting he needed. He rose from the couch, pulling me with him. We hurried down his hallway, pushing through the bedroom door. He stopped in the center of his room, pulling me in for another kiss.

My hands fisted around the hem of his shirt. I pulled it over his head and I traced a finger down his chest as I admired the contours.

“I have to grab…” He vaguely motioned toward the nightstand as he pulled away from me.

“I’m on the pill,” I told him as he reached for his drawer. “I’ve only been with two people. Aside from you, I mean. Both were long term relationships.”

“Okay,” he said with a nod as he abandoned his search before it even really began. “The last relationship I was in, we were together for a while.”

I nodded. Part of me wanted to ask about her. A stronger part did not. Not right then, anyhow. Not when my body was vibrating with wanting him so badly.

Discussing his ex would be an absolute mood killer.

“We haven’t been together for over a year,” he said as he closed the distance between us again. “I haven’t been with anyone since her.”

I don’t know why this surprised me. But it did. “You haven’t been with anyone since? What’s with…?” I pointed to the drawer. Or more specifically, the box of condoms that I knew from past experience was nestled inside.
I specifically remembered that it was a new box because he’d fumbled with it last time, as he hurried to open it.

He shrugged and gave me a smirk. “
Last spring, I was feeling restless. But the problem was, like I told you, I’m not into random hook-ups. And there was just no one I was interested in. Until I found you. But you and me, we’re exclusive now. Aren’t we?”

“I hope so,” I murmured as his lips came down on my neck.

“I was hoping so too,” he murmured back. He pressed a few more kisses to my collarbone but I grew impatient. I pulled away, peeling my shirt off. Then I reached for his jeans. I quickly undid his button and he followed my lead. In seconds we were hands stripping each other bare, mouths tasting, fingers touching as we tumbled into his bed.

The feel of his naked skin against mine was divine. I ran my fingers down his back, letting my fingernails gently scrape at his skin. He let out a little growl as he hovered over me. I slid a leg around him as I pressed myself against him. His body was unmoving as a column of steel above me.

“Tell me what you want,” he grated out.

What did I want? I wanted him. Over me, under me. In me. Filling me. I want him kissing me, touching me. I wanted him loving me.

“I want you,” I finally manage. “I want all of you.”

Without waiting for me to ask again, he slid his body upward, not hesitating to slam inside me.

As Alex made his way up the trail, I followed along. I eyed up his hiking pack with curiosity. It looked big enough to stash a small person inside, yet he marched along as if it weighed nothing.

I assumed he had water and possibly a picnic lunch inside. My stomach growled as my feet moved along. We were at the state park again. We’d started the morning off with a quick hike to the waterfall. It was a simple sight but one that I could look at daily and never get tired of. Once the tourists started trickling in, he’d pulled me away.

At least today, I was prepared for the terrain. He’d warned me I should wear shoes comfortable for hiking and that I should dress in layers. Already, my hooded sweatshirt was off, tied around my waist. Already, my heart was pounding with exertion and I’d worked up a bit of a sweat. If he could hear my slightly labored breathing, he pretended not to notice.

Or maybe he didn’t notice, I was almost unaware of it myself. I was too busy checking out the view. Not just of Alex’s backside, but of the trail we were hiking through. We were working our way steadily upward, toward…something.

If he was winded at all, he wasn’t showing it. I was determined not to either. If anything, I felt a sudden determination to get into shape so I could more easily catch up to him. Hiking like this seemed like the ideal exercise. I was enjoying myself despite the strenuous walk.

Lush green foliage spread out on both sides of us. Thick forest blocked out a view of anything else. The air was fresh, clean, and invigorating. Up here, it felt secluded. As if we were the only other people for miles.

I’d never been an outdoorsy kind of girl. Not that I was a city girl either, probably I was just somewhere in between. But today I realized what I’d been missing. I knew I never wanted to move back to the city or even a big town again.

Alex slowed as he glanced over his shoulder. “How are you doing?”

“Good!” I said, putting some enthusiasm into my tone. I was sure my cheeks were rosy. My hair had started to fall out of my ponytail. He grinned back at me and I realized I didn’t care at all that I was completely disheveled. I was sure he didn’t care either.

“It’s not much further,” he assured me as he took off again.

My only complaint of the day was that the trail was narrow. It didn’t allow for walking side by side, making conversation nearly impossible. I realized that wasn’t so bad either. Out here, it was easy to clear my head. It was easy to just enjoy the day, enjoy the company. Even though we hadn’t conversed much, I was at ease in Alex’s presence. It was enough to just have him with me.

After last night, I felt like we’d taken things to a whole new level. Not just physically, but emotionally. This morning, he’d brought me back to my house where I’d showered and changed, knowing he’d be back for me shortly.

We hadn’t really discussed how we’d spend the day but by the time he’d come back for me, it was clear he had something in mind. When he said it was the state park, I’d been excited.

“We’re almost there,” he said as I caught up to him. “I hope you’re hungry.”

“Starving,” I honestly replied.

“I thought we could eat here,” he said as  we walked into a picnic area. Another couple was just finishing up. We nodded in acknowledgement as they finished packing up their things.

He shrugged the pack off of his back, letting it fall onto the nearest picnic table. He pulled the zipper open and glanced at me. “I wasn’t sure which spot I was going to bring you to. The other one doesn’t have tables so I packed a blanket.”

“Oh,” I said, “let’s do that.” The tables were old and rickety with brown, peeling paint. The benches looked like they were full of splinters waiting to happen.

He chuckled as he tugged the blanket out of the bag
. I stood back as he spread the blanket out. Next he pulled out a soft sided cooler. When he motioned for me to sit, I did. He lowered himself down next to me, opened the cooler and handed me a bottle of water, which I gratefully took.

I opened it up and drank greedily from it as he did the same. When he was done, he screwed the top back on. “I ran to the deli again. Maybe one of these days I’ll be organized enough to prepare everything myself.”

“You could’ve asked me for help,” I scolded. “I would’ve loved to help throw a picnic together. But this looks great,” I said as he pulled out sandwiches and salads.

We ate, keeping the conversation light.
He mentioned that his parents would be home soon. I told him my dad was hoping to come for a visit. I’d mentioned Alex to Dad and he seemed happy for me.

Alex suggested everyone getting together for dinner when Dad came to town. I was pleased that he wanted to meet him. I was also anxious about meeting his family, but I’d worry about that another day.

When we were done eating, and everything was stashed away again, he turned to me with a serious look. I felt my smile drop away. I had thought all the serious talk was behind us.

“What was the
bastard’s name?” he asked, his voice quiet but calm.

“Jason,” I answered. “Jason McCormick.”

“Do you still talk to him?” Alex asked.

The question surprised me. “What? No,” I said with a sharp shake of my head. “I haven’t spoken with him since the day I left. If I have my way, I’ll never speak to him again.”

“Good,” Alex grated out. “I’m glad you feel that way. I don’t want that guy anywhere near you. If he ever comes anywhere near you again, I want to hear about it. Okay?”

I nodded slowly, “Yeah. Okay.” It was easy to agree to his demand because I couldn’t imagine a situation where Jason and I would ever be face to face again. Not when he lived at the other end of the state.

“I mean it Zoey. If you hear from him, I want to know. Guys like that…” he shook his head.

I waited for him to continue but he didn’t. “Guys like him, what?”

“They don’t like to lose,” he said firmly. “I know you said you don’t think he wants you back, but I can almost guarantee to you that he does. The thing is, I’m sure he wants you back for all of the wrong reasons.”

My mouth twisted into a frown as I thought that over. Finally, I forced myself to shrug. “It doesn’t matter what he wants. We’re done.”

“I know you are. I just hope the asshole isn’t confused on the issue. Sometimes, guys like him can’t take a hint.” He sounded so sure that I realized it would be pointless to argue with him. Not that I wanted to. What I did want was to change the subject.

“You know, we’ve been talking a lot about me,” I started. “Maybe it’s time we talk about you.”

He pursed his lips for a moment and then reached into the cooler so he could tuck his water bottle away. I could see tension building in his shoulders. “What do you want to know?” he quietly asked.

“You said you were in a relationship. That you were with her for a long time,” I reminded him. “How long?”

“Almost four years.”

Four years?

I had assumed that when he’d said they’d been together for “a while” it would be a year or two. But not
four
.

“Actually, five
,” he said with a sigh. “If you count the year we dated in high school. She was a year younger than me. We were together when I was a senior and she was a junior. We broke up after graduation. Then we ran into each other a few years later.”

I nodded slowly. “That’s…a really long time.”

“Yeah,” he agreed. “It is. We were engaged actually. We’d planned on getting married last summer.”

A broken engagement. I tried to wrap my mind around that.

I leaned back on my elbows, thinking that over.

“Don’t you think
you
should’ve mentioned
that
?” I finally asked. He had been surprised I hadn’t mentioned Jason. But he had almost gotten married. That was a pretty big deal.

“Yeah,” he agreed. “I probably should have. It’s just not something I like to talk about. And like you, it just never really seemed like there was a good time to bring it up.” He hung his head before glancing at me guiltily. “I’m sorry I gave you a hard time last night for not telling me about Jason sooner. I know I really had no right to complain about that. I was just so worked up, I wasn’t thinking straight.
Now that I’ve had a little bit of time to think about it, I completely understand why you didn’t. Some things…they’re just hard to talk about.”

“
Can I ask what happened?”

He scrubbed his hands across his face. I got the distinct impression he was stalling, maybe trying to figure out how to tell me.

“We had a major difference of opinion,” he finally stated. “I found out the hard way that you can know someone almost your whole life without really knowing them.” I was quiet and waited for him to go on. “I knew her from the time I was in grade school. Not well but it’s a small town. The kind of place where everyone kind of knows everyone. We started dating my senior year of high school. We broke up for a while, then got back together. That time that we had apart, I’d convinced myself she was the one. We were together for a few years before I proposed.” His voice faded off and his expression hardened. “But then I found out some things about her that I realized I just couldn’t live with.” He shrugged but I didn’t buy into his nonchalance. “I called off the wedding.”

Well, that answered that. I
had wondered who had decided against going through with the marriage. Of course my curiosity was gnawing away at me. I wanted to know what it was that he’d decided he couldn’t live with. However, his expression and his tone led me to believe it was something highly personal about her.

I felt as though I didn’t have the right to ask.

Maybe someday, but not right now.

“Do you regret calling off the wedding?” I wondered.

He scoffed at me. “No. Not for a minute. We were just…too different. We wanted completely different things out of life.”

I wondered why it took him so long to figure that out. Then I realized I was the last person that should ask that kind of question. Though the circumstances were nothing alike, I was plenty guilty of staying with someone when it was wrong for both of us.

“Is she still around here? Do you run into her?” I wondered.

“No. If I can be grateful about anything, it’s that,” he said. “But do you really want to talk about her?”

I thought about it for a minute. I wanted to know about his past, I wanted to know him. Yet I decided for the time being I had enough information to keep my brain busy for a while.

Alex.

Engaged.

I didn’t like the thought of it but it did explain a lot. I had wondered how someone like him could still be single. He almost wasn’t. Right then, I felt a rush of gratitude course through me. Fate works in mysterious ways. Meeting him had been a fluke.
If he’d done Claire’s roof a week earlier, I wouldn’t have been there yet. A week later and I’d have been gone during the day.

While our meeting was far from ideal, I was grateful for it. In the few months that I’d been getting to know him, I was finding that I didn’t like to think of my life without him.

He narrowed his eyes at me as he looked at me cautiously. “What are you thinking?”

I smiled and it wasn’t the least bit forced. “I was just thinking about how lucky I am that things worked out the way they did. I’m sorry to hear about your broken engagement because obviously that had to be hard. But I’m glad I happened to be at Claire’s the day that you showed up. I’m glad that you weren’t seeing anyone.”

“I’m glad you left your bastard of an ex,” he said. His tone was going for teasing but he didn’t quite make it. “And same here, I feel awfully damn lucky that I ran into you that day. I hadn’t thought anyone was home. When I rounded the house and you slammed into me, you scared the shit out of me,” he admitted with a grin.

“I’m sure I made quite the impression,” I said with a sarcastic laugh.

Clumsy girl, crashing into an unsuspecting chest of steel. What a great first impression.

“Oh, yeah. I couldn’t stop thinking about you,” he admitted.
“You know what else I can’t stop thinking about?” he asked as he leaned in to nibble on my neck.

I let out a little giggle. “I think that gives me a pretty good idea.”

He worked his way up to my ear, leaving a trail of kisses behind. “I can’t stop thinking about how nice it was to wake up next to you this morning. And I can’t stop thinking about how much I loved falling asleep with you in my arms last night.” He dotted a few more kisses across my jaw line and I could feel him smiling when he continued. “I can’t stop thinking about how hot you looked, wearing nothing but my shirt when we made breakfast together this morning.”

“Funny,” I teased, “because I can’t get those things off of my mind either.”

“And right now…” he said as his hand slid up the side of my shirt, I laughed, pulling away. I knew we were alone at the moment but I couldn’t help but think someone could come barging in off the trail at any moment. As his hand skimmed up, slipping under my bra, his thumb rubbing against my nipple, I let out an incoherent moan, not caring if someone caught us.