Forgetting Yesterday (20 page)

“
I worked so hard setting up this surprise for her. The room, the crib, I was so excited.” His voice turned hard when he said, “I wanted to do something nice for her, and yeah. She was surprised alright. At first, she tried to deny it. It took hours, the night before our wedding, for her to finally tell me because no way in hell was I just going to let that go. She finally admitted that the reason she didn’t tell me was because she
knew
that I would want to keep it.

“
I don’t know…if we’d just
talked
about it.
She
didn’t want to keep it. I get that. I do. But she never gave
me
the option to keep it. If she could’ve just…I don’t know, hung in there for seven more months, I would’ve gladly taken it for the next eighteen years. Well, for the rest of my life. Or maybe it’s just easy to say that now. Now that it’s not an option. But really, I think if I’d been given the chance, I’d have taken it. And maybe I would’ve sucked at it. Hell, I’ve never even changed a diaper. The only baby I’ve ever even held is my nephew. Maybe I would’ve made a total mess of everything. But I would’ve liked the option to
try
.

“
I had two weeks to fall in love with that kid. Two weeks to plan its future. Two weeks of thinking I was going to be a dad. It doesn’t sound like a long time but” he shrugged, “something like that, it’s just life changing.”

I was struggling to understand this. It was clear after all this time, he was still struggling to understand as well. “Was she just not ready to be a mom?”

“I guess, yeah. That was it. Our careers were just starting to take off. She told me she wasn’t ready for a baby to hold her back. But the point is, we had careers, we had incomes. We had a roof over our heads. Maybe money would’ve been tight but people with a whole lot less make it work. Then I realized it wasn’t about the money. She just didn’t want a baby. And she didn’t want me to have a say in it.”

He blew out a breath
and scraped his hands over his face. “I mean, it’s not like we were some young, high school kids. It wasn’t a one night stand. We weren’t strangers. We were getting
married
! We were going to spend the rest of our lives together. She was willing to live a lie for the rest of our lives. I just…I felt so betrayed. Like our whole relationship had been a lie. Because how could I have known her at all? How could she have loved me at all if she was okay with starting our marriage that way?” He shook his head. “I just couldn’t marry someone who was so willing to deceive me. I knew that I would
never
trust her again.”

I reached over, placing my hand on his arm. I was almost expecting him to flinch or jerk away after the way I’d treated him.

“I’m so sorry I just assumed…” I felt my brow scrunch in confusion. “But Morgan made it sound like…” I faded off, trying to remember exactly what she’d said. I realized she’d been very vague. “She made it sound like there still was a baby. Why would she do that?”

He grimaced. “
Why
? Because she’s a manipulative liar. That would be my guess. She’s a cold, calculating bitch. She always has been. Looking back, considering she was Kara’s best friend, maybe I should’ve realized just how alike the two of them are,” he said.

“Didn’t she think I would ask you?”

He gave me a pointed look. “Maybe she was thinking you’d jump to conclusions and not give me the chance to explain anything.”

I cringed because he was right. I had come awfully close to doing just that. I
had
done just that.

“And really,” he said. “By doing that, she had nothing to lose. If you didn’t come to me, she’d have the satisfaction of keeping us apart. But even now that you did, she’s clearly caused trouble anyway.” He sighed. “Not that I can blame her completely. I should’ve been upfront about it. It’s just that it’s not something I’ve talked about with anyone before. I wanted to be sure things were going somewhere with us before I brought it up with you.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” The moment the words were out of my mouth, maybe even a few moments before, I knew what an absolute hypocrite I was being. I hadn’t been open and honest with him either. Not until he’d pressed me into it.

“I’ve never told anyone, Zoey. Not a soul. Not my family. No one.
But there it is. The whole truth, laid bare and open. I’m telling you because I want to be with you. No more secrets. And I know there’s a good chance you’re going to tell me to go away and I wouldn’t blame you but I’m putting it all out there anyway. I love you. I want to be with you.”

I placed my hands on each side of his face and pulled him in for a soft, heartfelt kiss. “I love you too,” I murmured against his lips. “I’m so very sorry I didn’t give you the chance to explain.
I’m so sorry about what happened to you.” I squeezed my eyes shut, trying for just a moment to truly comprehend how heartbreaking his situation had been.

“I don’t want there to be any more secrets between us,” he said. “We both obviously have things in our pasts that are better off forgotten. Maybe it’s time we both leave the past in the past. I think it’s time we both move forward.”

I nodded. Forgetting yesterday and moving on with our lives sounded divine.

I cleared my throat slightly and sat back. “There is one more thing I have to tell you.”

He looked at me with concern as I told him about the visit with Jason.

“You were right,” I said once I was done. “He didn’t want to let go.”

He nodded slowly. “I’m glad he got help. But more than that, I’m glad he’s out of your life.”

“It’s gorgeous,” I said
as I stopped next to her to take another peek. “Truly gorgeous.”

“I know, right?” Claire said dreamily as she held her left hand out. The fluorescent lights of the kitchen caught the diamond just right.
The enormous princess cut solitaire glittered and sparkled back at us. She wiggled her hand, looking completely awed. “I still can’t believe it’s real!”

“Believe it, girl,” I said with a laugh.
It made me feel good to see my best friend so happy. “If anyone deserves this, it’s you!”

It had been almost a week since the ring had been placed on her finger. She was still in awe of it. I would find her staring at it
periodically wearing a look of pure amazement.

She bit her lip before tossing her arm around my shoulder. She pulled me in for a sideways hug.

“I felt so awful leaving you here alone last Sunday. When I told Sean I didn’t think I could make it, I guess he really freaked out,” she said with a smile.

I cringed, grateful I had made her go. I would’ve felt horrible if I’d ruined Sean’s surprise proposal. He’d planned it for a Sunday night because he knew that Claire would not be expecting it.

She released me and wandered over to the coffee pot.

I went to the oven to pull out the chocolate chip scones that were making the kitchen smell scrumptious.

“I still can’t believe that conniving bitch, Morgan,” Claire said as she poured. “I’m glad that you gave Alex the chance to explain. The nerve of her. Of both of them. As if Kara hadn’t already put him through enough? Then she thought she’d try to ruin things for him with you?”

I shrugged, unsure of whether or not
Kara had anything to do with it or whether she’d just been blindsided by her friend and had gone along with it. Either way, it had been a shitty thing to do.

I pulled out two small plates and carefully set a scone on each before setting the plates on the table.

“Well,” I said as Claire handed me a cup of coffee, “I’ve learned my lesson. I feel so bad for doubting him. I should’ve given him a chance to explain before going off on him. I’m just glad he was still willing to explain, after the way I treated him.”

My cheeks warmed as I remembered the way he’d looked when he said he loved
me. That had been the last thing I’d expected him to say. Now, I kept playing it over and over in my mind. Each time, it brought a smile to my face and a flutter to my heart.

Claire slid into a seat at the kitchen table. I took a spot across from her. She had a notebook, pens, and stack
s of bridal magazines covering the entire space. I noted that some of the magazines were older. She must’ve been collecting them for a while.

“I was the
re,” she said, redirecting my thoughts back to the conversation we’d been having. “They were pretty convincing. Even though looking back, they never really
lied
about anything,” she said.

“
No, they just manipulated the conversation,” I agreed.

Claire let out a little sound that was close to a growl. Her expression was livid. “The next time I see her out, I am going to let her have it! I can’t believe I was nice to her. I thought we were maybe getting to be
friends
!”

I shook my head at her. “Don’t say anything. Please.”

She gripped her mug in both hands. “Why the hell not?”

I shrugged. “Because I don’t want to give her the satisfaction. I don’t want her to know that I was insecure enough,
gullible
enough, to fall for what she had to say.”

My friend leaned back in her chair as she thought over what I said. “I suppose you’re right,” she
muttered, pausing to take a sip. “But oh, how I want to rip her a new one.”

“Believe me, I know exactly how you feel,” I commiserated. “The last thing I want is for her to know that she succeeded, even if just briefly, in causing problems.

“But enough about them!” I said as I slapped both of my hands down on the table. “We have far more important things going on! We have a wedding to plan.”

She took a deep breath and a smile lit up her face. “I know! I’m sure you know this, even though I haven’t formally asked you, but you have to be my maid of honor.”

I grinned back at her. “Of course. So tell me what you have so far.”

“We’re thinking a winter wedding. Maybe even a Christmas wedding.” She paused and a look of trepidation settled across her face. “That’s it,” she said stoically. “That’s all I have. I don’t know what color scheme I want. I don’t have any idea about a venue. I have given
no
thought to save the date cards, because I don’t actually
have
a date. Not to mention invitations…” She leaned forward on her elbows and pulled her hands through her hair.

“Claire,” I said as I grabbed
one of her hands. “It’s okay. You’ve got months to figure this out. And more importantly,” I teased, “you have me. We’ll get it done. And it will be awesome.
Amazing
, even!”

She blew out a breath and gave me a little nod. “Flowers,” she said decisively, finall
y looking relieved. “I do know what kind of flowers I want.”

I pulled her notebook my way. “See, we’re already off to a good start then. Maybe next weekend we should plan to do some shopping. We can look at dresses, maybe taste some cake?
Maybe Dottie would even cover the shop so we could make a whole day of it?”

While she had officially resigned, she’d made it known that she’d be happy to fill in if we ever needed her.

Claire nodded but she still looked shell shocked. “I’ll need to decide on decorations too. Of course that will depend on whether I decided on a Christmas wedding or just a winter theme.”

“And we’ll have plenty of time for all of that,” I assured her.

She glanced at the clock. “Are you sure you have time right now? Don’t you have a picnic to prepare for?”

I nodded. “Yeah, but
that’s not until this afternoon. Besides, it’s completely under control.”

Alex’s parents were finally home. He had planned a family get-together at his house
. I was finally going to meet his parents and his sisters and their families. He was going all out grilling burgers, brats and steaks. I’d tried to insist on taking care of the rest of the meal. His family wouldn’t hear of it.

The picnic had turned into a good ol’ fashioned potluck.

Best of all, Alex had asked me to invite my dad. He had gladly accepted the invitation. My stomach rolled unexpectedly. Meeting each other’s parents, having his parents meet my dad, it felt like such a big step.

I was so ready for it.

*******

The scent of charcoal floated through the air. Alex
finished tending to the grill, getting the coals ready for putting the meat on. I glanced around his spacious back yard again. We had a few tables set up, draped in festive table coverings. Lawn chairs were scattered throughout.

I was feeling anxious and wanted to keep busy but there was only so much prep that needed to be done when everyone was contributing to the food.

“Are you nervous?” he asked from a few feet away from me on the deck.

“Maybe a little,” I admitted. “Mostly I’m just excited. How about you? Are you nervous?”

He made a comically somber face. “Of course. It’s not every day I meet my girlfriend’s dad for the first time. It is, however,” he said as he pulled me in for a hug, “going to be the
last
first time.”

He leaned down to nuzzle my neck and I laughed at his statement.

“You’re it for me, baby,” he murmured.

“You’re it for me too,” I assured him. I knew that he was.

This was what love should feel like. This feeling of peace, contentment. This feeling of a fluttering heart and melting knees. This feeling of wanting him to be as happy as I was in every moment.

“You know,” Alex said, “I was thinking. Maybe you should move in with me.” He cast a nervous glance my way. His request was so unexpected, I wasn’t quite sure what to say. He took my silence for disapproval. “If Claire’s getting married, Sean is probably going to be moving in with her. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind if you stayed. But I just want you to know, you are more than welcome to move in with me. Also,” he gnawed the inside of his cheek for a moment. “I’m hoping Jason won’t be a problem anymore, but I’d feel better if I had you around.”

I raised my eyebrows. “You want me to move in so you can keep an eye on me?” I didn’t want t
he invitation to be out of fear. More importantly, I didn’t want to make a decision based on fear.

And I wouldn’t.

I had seen Jason. I’d spoken to him.

He’d seemed different to me. I really did believe that he’d changed. Or at the very least that he was trying hard to change. I’d tried to explain that to Alex but he was having a hard time buying it. I couldn’t blame him.

He leaned over and kissed my cheek. “No, Zoey. I want you to move in with me because I love you. I’m anxious to start building a life with you. I’m not saying we have to jump into it. But maybe sometime before Claire and Sean’s wedding?”

“Oh,” I said, the single word came out as a breath sigh. “Well then. That’s kind of hard to say no to.
I mean, if you’re asking because you
love me
,” I said lightly.

“Yeah?” he asked with a hopeful smile.

I nodded. “Yeah, I would love to move in with you. If you’re sure that’s what you want.”

“I’m sure,” he said, all teasing disappearing from his tone. “I want you to move in with me. Someday, I want to marry you. I want to have kids with you and then grandkids with you. I want to grow old and gray with you.”

“Sounds perfect,” I sighed.

The sound of a car turning into his drive cut our conversation short.

“Hey, I forgot to tell you. I mentioned to Mom what you said about the centerpieces at Bianca’s.”

“You
what?” I asked. I slapped him on the shoulder with one hand and slapped the other hand over my mouth, suddenly feeling horrified. “You weren’t supposed to tell her that!”

“Relax,” he said with a laugh. “She agreed with me. In fact, now that they’re back in town, she plans on calling
The Petal Pusher to line something up. Maybe a weekly delivery of some simple centerpieces, or something. I just thought I should let you know because she might bring it up today.”

I could still feel the heat in my cheeks. “She wasn’t offended?” I asked as another car turned in.

“No,” he assured me. “She thought it was a ‘fabulous idea’.” He mimicked his mother on the last part of the sentence, making my embarrassment fade as I laughed.

“Thank goodness,” I muttered. I grabbed his hand as yet another car pulled up. Everyone was right on time. “We better go greet everyone,” I said as I tugged him along.

We made our way down the deck steps and rounded the corner of the house. I realized Dad’s car was first in the driveway. It was so like him to be the first one here. They didn’t see us approaching, too wrapped up in greeting each other.

I smiled to myself as I watched Dad and the older couple that could only be Alex’s parents. They were already laughing over something that had been said. Further down the driveway, a woman a little older than us was chasing a toddler that was running off to the trees while the man I assumed to be her husband hoisted a baby into the crook of her arm.

“That’s my sister Stella and her husband Ben. Their kids are Tyson and Tanner,” he said. As the last car rolled in he laughed. “And always a few minutes late would be my sister Beth and her husband, Jeff. They’ve got two kids, Alicia and Cody and another one the way.”

It was then that his parents glanced
our direction.

“There you two are!” his mother said with a huge smile. She walked toward us, pulling us into a double hug.

“It’s so good to finally meet you!” Audrey said.

“It’
s nice to meet you too.”

“This is my husband, Dale,” she said as she backed away a bit.

“Zoey,” Dale acknowledged me with a smile and a nod. “We’ve heard an awful lot about you.”

“We sure have!” Stella piped up as she walked toward us with her wriggling toddler.

“Everyone,” I said, “this is my Dad, Leo.” I walked over to him and pulled him in for a long hug.

“Looks like you picked a good one this time,” Dad said quietly enough that only I could hear.

“I sure did,” I agreed.

There was chattering and laughing as greeting and introductions continued on.
I was amazed at how much he and his sisters looked like their mother. The three women were a chatty bunch and I instantly felt at ease.

Finally, Alex corralled his family, leading them to the backyard.

Dale and Dad hit it off immediately. The two of them grabbed a couple of beers as they took a seat away from the noise of the kids, under the shade of an oak tree.