Forgiven (28 page)

I have vowed to not spoil her day. The sight of our father makes me feel sick. I can’t stand this tension between all of us. I’m not saying I’m never going to come around, but it’s going to take me more than five minutes to get right with him.

Gabby hands me her bouquet. The flowers are exactly like the flowers from Cade’s and Kristen’s wedding. I thought she might want something different, but Bradley insisted the flowers be the same. This day is very similar to the day she met him. I wouldn’t want that personally, but it’s not my day, and no one really asked me.

I smile as I put the bouquet in my free hand. I am facing the groomsman. Ryan and Joe are right beside each other. It’s impossible for me to look at one without seeing the other. I listen to the words to this song and realize I am so confused. I turn back to Gabby and Bradley because I need to focus on my baby sister. As frustrated as I’ve been with her, I need to be there for her.

I am pulled into her side like we’re the strongest magnets attracting one another. I whisper, “I love that dress, I love everything. You look sensational, Miss Gerhart.”

She beams. “You clean up nicely, too.”

I look into Gabby’s eyes and quietly sing the lyrics of the song that Stella is singing to her. When she first played this song for me, I knew that I had to do this. It’s perfect and I love the message. “She was lost in so many different ways. Out in the darkness with no guide.”

She has tears in her eyes. I don’t care if they are happy tears. It twists my heart in ways I didn’t know possible. I sing some more. I’ve never sang to her. “Sometimes love can come and pass you by while you’re busy making plans.”

I have to stop because I am having trouble holding it together. When Stella is done, we both look to her and nod because she just did a fantastic job singing that song.

The preacher starts the ceremony. Talking about love being patient. Check. Love being kind. Check. Love enduring all things. Another check. Yes, all that is applicable. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for her. And I know that there is nothing she wouldn’t do for me. She’s a rare gem, she’s my gem. I’m not worthy.

I hardly hear half of what he’s saying. Good thing we’ve paid someone a lot of money to make a DVD. We’ll most definitely have to go back and watch this. I hear, “Bradley and Gabby. I understand you’ve written your own vows?”

We both look up and nod our head. We agreed we’d write our own and memorize them. I worried at first about writing our own. I worried they wouldn’t be original or that I’d leave something out, but I read them to Mom and Carmen and they both agreed they were good. I hope she’ll like them. Here goes nothing.

“I vow to cherish you, to respect you.” I squeeze her shaking hands. “I promise to always embrace you in times of need. To share your sorrows and your fears.” Tears are freely flowing from her eyes, and it’s like I’m looking into my own soul. I can barely talk because my chest feels so tight from fighting off my own tears. “I vow to forsake all others. I pledge my unwavering love in sickness and in health.” I know she’ll think this part is funny. “For richer and hopefully not poorer, but if that should happen, for poorer, too.” Everyone else apparently thinks that’s funny, too, because the congregation erupts into laughter. The only laughter I really hear is hers, though. It’s the best music to my ears. I take the opportunity to pull my handkerchief and dab her eyes before taking her hands back into mine. “I vow to cultivate
this
. To be passionate every day with all of my being. I give you my mind, body, and soul forever. This is my solemn vow according to God's Holy word.”

And to think he was worried about being able to write incredible vows. The man doesn’t do anything halfway. I have to follow that. I take a moment because every time I try to open my mouth to speak, I feel the sobs that I’ve been fighting back. My chest hurts it’s so tight.

“I vow to cherish you, to respect you.” My voice is quivering, and I’m speaking so quietly I’m not sure he can even hear me. “I promise to always turn to you in times of need.” I take a deep breath. “To embrace you in times of sorrow. I promise to share my fears and not run from them. I vow to forsake all others.” I have to stop because I’m not sure I can continue. He’s smiling at me, and his eyes are dazzling. He squeezes my hand as if to tell me I can do this. I have this. “I pledge my unwavering love in all times, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health.” I think back to his vows, and I loved that part. It makes me smile just thinking about how cute he was when he said that. “I vow to nurture and cultivate
this
. I promise to be passionate and live every day as if it were my last.” This next part means more to me than anything else. I know that he is my first and my last. “You have my mind, body, and soul forever. This is my solemn vow according to God's Holy word.”

I can see tears in his eyes. I’ve never seen him cry. I’ve never seen him anything other than strong, masculine Bradley. But I must say that it means so much to see that my vows to him made him emotional. It means he’s human. This is a day I’ll never forget.

The rest of the ceremony goes by quickly. We exchanged rings, and now Stella is singing again while we light the unity candle. I almost burn down the church when I nearly drop my candle getting it out of the holder. Sam sees it, and the look on her face is priceless as her eyes bulge. It causes the three of us to laugh out-loud. I’m sure everyone is wondering what’s so funny. I’m not sure that they would have been able to see what just happened. I’m thankful to have that moment to share with the three of us. It makes me feel like things are maybe okay with us again.

When we’re done, we wait for the music to finish. Finally, the moment we’ve been waiting for. It feels surreal as he tells us, “By the powers vested to me in the state of South Carolina and by this church, I now pronounce you husband and wife.” He prays a simple prayer giving us his and the church’s blessing. When he’s finished, he gives Bradley permission to kiss his bride.

That gets the biggest grin from him. He turns his head to the side and takes a step forward as he slowly lifts my veil. He wraps his right arm around my waist, his left hand behind my neck and pulls me into a long, sensuous kiss. I close my eyes and think about how I’m usually pretty shy about showing a lot of affection in public, especially in front of other people and in church, but I don’t care. He’s my husband. I’m married. I’ve thought about this day my entire life, and it’s like I’m watching a dream come true before my very own eyes. He pulls on my lip, and when I open my eyes, I see he’s opening his. They are bright, crystal blue and filled with unspoken desire. They are filled with promise.

We hear, “For the first time, I have the pleasure of introducing to you Mr. and Mrs. Bradley Banks.”

The music starts to play for the recessional and he takes my left arm in his as Sam hands me back my bouquet. We head slowly down the stairs and then down and out of the church. When we are outside, he picks me up and spins me in circle, which causes me to erupt into laughter. Before he puts me down, I look at him and he takes my lips into his once more. “I can get used to this,” I whisper.

“You better.” He chuckles.