Forgiven (26 page)

The last time I saw Gabby was at the hospital the day I finally got to meet my daughter. It’s amazing how much a little baby can change your life. It’s funny how much I thought when I first found out Veronica was pregnant that I didn’t think I wanted it-that I wasn’t ready to be a father. I couldn’t have been more wrong.

It seems like every time I think I’m getting myself together, and I'm finally on the right path, it seems like the rug is ripped right out from under me. I don’t know what I did in this life to deserve the fury of hell on earth. The karma from Gabby should have long caught up with me.

That’s why I have to see her one more time. I have to make amends with her once and for all. Everything I said to her that day at her apartment was true. Everything I felt was true. But I had ulterior motives. I have to do it this time so selflessly.

I had thought about getting a pass to get into Château Élan from one of my buddies who lives in there, but that just still seemed so sneaky and wrong. I know I have to show her I’ve grown up if I expect her to believe a word out of my mouth. If I’ve learned anything through this experience, it’s that it’s the way we go about situations that set us apart from the rest.

So I called her earlier and begged for her to meet me at the clubhouse. I realize the timing isn’t great with it being the night before her wedding, but I needed a time when I knew she would be alone. I needed a time when I knew that Bradley wouldn’t be hovering over her like she’s some kind of frail porcelain doll.

At first she didn’t want to do it, but eventually with much reassurance that I was being genuine she gave in and said she’d meet me at nine pm. So I’m parked in the parking lot, and I’m waiting. My palms are sweaty, and even with the air blasting I’m still burning up. My mouth feels like it’s filled with cotton it’s so dry.

I see headlights. I don’t recognize the car, but when it pulls up next to me, I can see it’s her. I guess she got a new car when hers broke down. It’s really about time. That car was beyond too old and unsafe for her.

I get out and keep my distance. “Hey, Gabs.”

“Ian.” She nods and rests her back up against the car door. “What do you want?”

“Thanks for agreeing to meet me.”

“Well you made a pretty convincing argument when you said you’d finally leave me the hell alone if I agreed.”

I shrug. It’s not what I wanted. I had hoped that we could repair things and at least stay cordial, but I needed to see her one last time. “Nice car.”

She glances back towards the hood and then smiles. “Bradley. Birthday gift. Ya know. The other car was beyond repair anyway.”

“I figured. Your old car was beyond ancient.”

“Cut the small talk, Ian. I don’t have a lot of time. Cut to the chase. Why did you want to see me?”

I glance down because it’s still hard for me to talk about this. “Did you know we lost the baby?”

I move my eyes up and look into hers. Her brows have furrowed and her smile quickly fades. “Yeah, I heard. I’m so sorry.”

“Yeah, me too. Listen. I just wanted to say thank you.”

She raises an eyebrow. “Thank you?”

“Yeah, for all that you and Bradley did for Veronica...for Faith.”

“Bradley was surprised you named her Faith.”

“Yeah. Veronica wouldn’t budge. She said regardless of Bradley naming her that it was her name. It fit. She just wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Gabby rolls her eys. “Yeah, that meant a lot to Bradley.”

I swallow. “I got you something. I wanted to give it to you.”

“You didn’t have to get me anything.”

“I wanted to. A wedding gift. Not that you need my blessing, but to know that I am happy for you.”

She cocks her head to the side. “Are you really?”

“Yes. Of course, I am. I’ve only always wanted you to be happy.” I open the passenger side door and reach for the gift. “I realize I didn’t go about that in the right way, but I’ve grown up a lot.” I shut it and hand the gift to her. “I need to close this chapter of my life, Gabby. The chapter where I make impulsive, rash, usually irresponsible and hurtful decisions.”

She smiles. “Are you officially apologizing to me with no strings attached? It’s hard for me to trust you.”

“I have meant every apology I’ve ever said. I just need to know now that you forgive me. I need to know we’re both moving on and that the bad karma between us is resolved.”

She laughs, and it’s infectious. Her smile, her laugh...it will always brighten my day and warm my heart. “Well, let me open this and see what’s in here and then I’ll let you know if I forgive you.”

“Oh. That’s how this is gonna go, huh?” I’m relieved to see her being playful. This is going better than I could have ever expected. I hope it continues.

She was always meticulous opening gifts. I cross my legs and arms as I lean back against my car and smile as I watch her open it. When she does, tears start streaking down her face.

“Oh Ian. I...I don’t know what to say.” She swipes her tears and brushes her fingers lightly across the frame where it says, “Never lose
Faith
. Always have
hope
.
Love for always.
” Then in smaller writing below that it says
1 Corinthians 13
.

I know I’ve not acted like a Christian, but my parents raised me as a good ‘ole southern Baptist. I’ve heard that scripture over and over all through my life. I never fully understood or respected how special it is to find that person who you can love like that verse says. I understand it now. If Bradley does that for Gabby, then they have my blessing, not that they asked for it or need it.

I swallow hard because I knew this was going to be a hard gift to give. “You don’t have to say anything. There’s a card. I knew there would be things I couldn’t say out loud to you, so I wrote them down.”

“She really was beautiful, Ian. Look at all that blonde hair. There’s just something about a baby with a big flower in her hair.”

I smile. “I know, she had me wrapped so tight around that...” I take a deep breath and fight back the tears that threaten the backs of my eyes. “She had me wrapped around that little finger the moment I saw her.”

Gabby chuckles, “She did that to Bradley in a matter of a day, and he wasn’t even her father.”

“I know. That’s why I have to say thank you. He didn’t have to be there for them, but he did. He’s not as bad of a guy as I thought he was.” I look up to the clear sky and back to Gabby. “And I can see he loves you. I just want you to be happy.”

“I am happy.”

“I loved you, Gabby, I still do. I realize now it’s just different. I am sorry I hurt you.”

“I forgive you, Ian. I forgave you a long time ago.”

I nod. “Then I should let you get going. I know you probably have a lot to do.”

“Nah the girls are just coming to the house. Bradley arranged a spa party for us. So about to go get pampered. It starts at ten.”

“Sounds nice.”

“Yeah. You and Veronica? Are you together?”

I shrug. I don’t know how to label us. “Something like that.”

“You love her?” she asks.

“With all my heart.”

“Then fight for her. Never let her go.” She shakes her head. “Don’t keep secrets.” Then she points to the frame and the card. “Thank you for
this
. We’ll treasure it for the rest of our lives.”

We both stand there awkwardly. I know Gabby is a hugger. I move my arms almost asking for permission. She nods, so I wrap my arms around her, giving her a quick squeeze. Then I let her go.

I’m in the back of the church with Stella, Emmi, Sam, and Carmen. They are all my bridesmaids. Well, Stella is my matron of honor and Sam is my maid of honor. Everyone looks beautiful. Those dresses are all stunning. I decided to let them pick their style, but they are all the same color, a sage green. It makes the flowers really pop.

Sam still hasn’t really come around about Dad, but we agreed to put that aside to get us through the wedding. She steers clear of him and avoids him at all costs.

Dad is by my side holding my hand. I’m trying not to act nervous, but I am. It’s not because I have a single doubt in my mind about marrying Bradley, but because I want everything to go as I planned. I’ve watched one too many episodes of Bridezilla’s to know that a wedding going off without a hitch is a miracle in and of itself. This is a day I have dreamed about for as long as I can remember. I want it to be perfect.

I watch Celia talking into her mouth piece as she motions for the girls to start their journey down the long aisle one-by-one. The string quartet is playing Pachabel’s
Canon in D
. The chords send a shiver through my body as goosebumps erupt through my exposed skin. I shift on my feet. I have never been one to wear heels. I’d much rather go barefoot. But everyone insisted that these shoes alone would be the undoing of Bradley. The thought makes those bumps quickly go away as heat envelops my body.

“Gabby, are you okay?” Dad asks.

“Yeah, I’m more than okay.”

“You know if you’re having second thoughts, we can be outta here in no time flat. I can take you somewhere far away until this all blows over,” he says to me in a hushed voice.