Forgiven (27 page)

“No. I’m sure about this. Just want everything to go well.”

“You sure?”

“I promise, I’m sure.”

“Okay. Well they say the things that don’t go well during a wedding are the things you remember and laugh about later.” He turns so he’s facing me and lifts my chin so that I am looking into his eyes. “Enjoy this day. It will go by far too fast.” He kisses my forehead over the veil that is shielding my face. “You look lovely, Gabby. Your mother would be so proud. You look just like her today.”

The mention of my mother brings bittersweet feelings to my heart and the growing pit in my stomach. I miss her so much. All of those dreams about this day never included her not being here. It’s been an emotional day. It doesn’t help that even though Sam is here and says we’re okay, there is just a touch of tension still in the air about my forgiving our dad so easily.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” He moves back to my side and continues to whisper words of encouragement and praise. His words become a blur as my eyes drift over to the door on the groom’s side, and then close as I remember the first time I ever stood in this church.

It’s as if it’s all happening all over again, as vivid as the first time. I remember Bradley standing by that door. The smirk he had on his face. Those bright blue eyes. He has turned out to be so much more than delicious eye candy. If someone had told me a year ago that I would be standing in this position about to marry him, I would have done more than laugh hysterically. My lips curve into a smile because I’m so thankful that for once in my life ‘Gabby’ and ‘easy’ seem to go in the same sentence. I’m thankful that I am no longer broken, but rather whole. I can finally see the big picture of my life, and how everything has come full circle.

“Gabby,” I hear Celia’s voice as Dad squeezes my hand.

When I open my eyes from my daydream, she’s standing in front of me. The organ is playing the Bridal March and I hear the shuffling sounds of our guests as they stand in the pews. It’s time.

The photographer had begged Gabby to let us take our photos before the ceremony. She said it would make for an easier transition to the reception, and the lighting would be better. But Gabby, being the traditionalist that she is, refused to budge on me not seeing her before the ceremony. She swore it was bad luck and promised that moving forward we would do nothing to encourage more of that.

I’ve always liked that feisty side of her. I just watched her as she fought it out with her. I tried to hide my smile from Gabby because I knew I’d take an elbow in the ribs if she knew I was even remotely amused. It didn’t take me long through this process to learn that she translates my smirks to being unsupportive of her decisions. In reality, she is so damn cute when she’s like that, that it takes everything in me to not throw her over my shoulder and take her somewhere private.

My groomsman have all reminded me of my bachelor days as they walked by me opening their jackets to reveal a photo of an ex-fling. I smile and nod, sometimes even laughing at their choices. Not because I like these girls or even really remember half of them.

I laugh thanking God that none of them are the girl in the back of the church about to be my wife. I chuckle because back in those days, this was the last thing I thought I wanted, and I’m gracious that I didn’t waste more of my life being such a dick. I feel bad for treating girls the way I did, namely Veronica. But I wouldn’t change my past. Without it, I don’t think I would have found my Gabby Girl.

My thoughts are interrupted with the announcement, “Please rise.”

Feet are shuffling as our guests stand to the loud and abrupt organ playing the wedding march.

I didn’t think I wanted this. I had no idea how complete another individual could make me feel. Not just any individual, her. Gabby. The doors open, and I see her. It’s the moment I have been waiting for. A moment I have yearned for a year. I knew I couldn’t lose her. The feeling of emptiness during those three months that summer were almost more than I could bear.

What makes this even more special is to know what we’ve been through to get to this point. It’s not as if we have had it easy. I know as I watch those doors open, that if we can get through what we already have, then we can overcome anything.

My hands are folded in front of me as I stand waiting. The seconds feel more like hours. I can’t wait to see her. The anticipation is pulling at my gut. I’m not nervous about getting married, yet I can’t ignore the overwhelming flutters being tossed about in my stomach.

Gabby is finally in view, and she’s breathtakingly beautiful. Of course, it doesn’t take much. The dress is exquisite. She looks like Cinderella. I had a feeling she’d choose a full ball gown style dress. It’s strapless and has a lavender belt with a flower. The top is beaded, and the bottom has chiffon gathered. It fits her like a glove. Her hair is pulled back loosely into a twist. I notice that the tendril I always put behind her ear is framing her face. I can’t help but smile.

As beautiful as she is, I can’t wait to find out what’s under that dress. I am sure that the wait until tonight will seem like eternity. It will make the waiting for the past year seem like a cinch. It will be pure torture to know that she’s mine, yet I have to wait to enjoy her.

I hold Gabby’s hand in the crook of my arm. I glance at her as we start our walk. I take in this moment. It’s a moment that I never thought I’d get the honor of experiencing. It’s a moment that I thought had been lost on poor choices. I didn’t deserve a second chance, but none of us do. None of us deserve the good things that come our way. It’s by grace, love, and forgiveness that any of us experience joy.

I’ve followed the girls all these years from a distance. I’ve been so proud of the women they have become. I am not going to lie. When I found out Gabby was seeing Bradley Banks, I was more than worried about her heart. I robbed myself of the opportunity to have the fatherly talk with boys. I have been pleasantly surprised by him. His love and adoration for her is more than obvious. Man to man, it’s clear that he has every intention of taking care of my daughter for the rest of his life.

It’s abundantly clear that Bradley Banks is Gabby’s soul mate. I’m grateful that I get the opportunity to participate in this day. I couldn’t be a prouder father at this moment. There are two things that could make this day better. One is for Sam to afford me the forgiveness that Gabby has, and the other is that Grace would be here to watch this moment. I have many regrets about my past. She and what happened with the girls are by far my biggest one.

I’ve learned we can’t live in the past, though. I’ve learned that you have to live day by day. One step at a time. One foot in front of the other. As we walk slowly to the front of this church, I know that I have done the best I can to make sure my present and my future are better. I’ve done all I can do. Sam’s willingness to forgive me is out of my hands. I refuse to dwell in the past. I refuse to spend the time I have with Gabby worrying.

I glance over to Cindy. She’s sitting on the first pew of the bride’s side. She had always wanted a girl and now she has two. She doesn’t care that Sam doesn’t consider her a mother. She considers Sam her own. She loves the girls as if they were Evan, our son. He’s standing at the front as a groomsman. I realize in this moment that my life has come full circle.

While I deeply regret my decisions when I was younger, without them I wouldn’t have Cindy. I wouldn’t have Evan. Now I have everything I could have ever possibly wanted, well almost, anyway.

I am standing in between Gabby and Bradley. I just got her back, and I’m about to have to give her away. The preacher gives the call to worship and the opening prayer then asks, “Who gives this woman to this man?” I clear my throat. “Her family...” I look to Sam. “...and I do.” She doesn’t smile, but rather looks to Gabby and smiles. I know she’s not happy with me. I understand it. I’m just glad that she’s not letting it spoil Gabby’s day.

I take Bradley’s hand and place it into Gabby’s. I turn and lift her veil slightly and give her a kiss on the cheek. “Thank you for allowing me a new beginning. Today you start your new beginning. I love you.” She kisses me back and a tear has already escaped those big hazel eyes of hers. I put my thumb up and catch it before I drop the veil back over her face.

I walk back to the pew and sit next to Cindy, and I’m not able to hold back my own tears at this point. Cindy threads her fingers into mine and rests her head on my shoulder. My cup runneth over.