Forgotten Self (Forgotten Self #1) (14 page)

“
Right.” I gave him a little salute as he walked out the door.

I laid on my bed, staring at the wall for hours. A creaking sound in the house brought my attention back to reality. I glanced at the clock. 1:32 AM. N
ormally I would be at the cemetery by now. But not tonight. Maybe not ever again. That connection...Kelly wasn't around. She was somewhere new, Jonathan had said. A new person. She was really, really gone.

The
next morning started too early. Like, 5 AM t
oo early. I rolled over several times and tried to fall back asleep. When even the pillow over the head trick failed, I got up. Of course, as soon as I set one foot on the ground a piece of radio plastic dug into it.

“
Jesus, Jesus, god damn, mother of juic
e and pickles.” I kicked the piece away and continued on, inventing new curses all the way. Me irritable in the morning was nothing new. I bumbled into the bathroom to take a shower. It wasn't until after I got dressed and began to do my hair that I rememb
ered everything from the day before.

I set the comb down and stared at myself in the mirror. Strands of hair were still blown all over my head from drying it; a container of lip balm was in my hand; steam was slowly erasing itself from the mirror; somewher
e a car alarm went off.

Normal.

Pushing myself over the counter, I stuck my nose forward until it was touching the glass. I
looked hard into my eyes, until the blue disappeared and all I could see is the black of the pupil. It breathed in and out, reactin
g to the light.

How could it be that there was really an angel in there somewhere? I couldn't see it. All I could see was Abby. Abby's normal, human eyes.

You know how sometimes life doesn't even feel real? It's like you're just walking around in someone'
s picture book or photo album. Adding the knowledge of some religious world onto that just made everything feel even more muted. Not having glowing beings around me took away the truth. I was just Abigail. And I was just getting ready for school.

There
was a substitute for AP History, much to my unsurprise. The old lady stood in front of us and painstakingly read through roll call. Sometimes old really did equal slow, and it
always
did in sub land. It was either old and slow, middle-aged and angry, or yo
ung and scared.

“
Abigail...Davidson?”

I lifted a finger and she was on to the next name.

“
Hey, Abby.” Madison nudged me.

I looked over and smiled politely, not feeling really chatty today. “Hey.”

Her eyes are glimmering as she whispered, “Did you hear?”

“
Probably not. My phone's dead.”

“
Marcus got Lissa pregnant!”

I didn't mean to, but I burst out laughing, so like the night before. How ironic was
that
after Lissa accused Madison of being in the same condition? I didn't mean to be so loud, but I was feeli
ng the effects of a bad night's sleep as well.

The substitute – Ms. Myrna, according to the chalkboard – snapped her clipboard against the desk in front of her. The poor student in said desk jumped about a foot into the air. My attention focused on the su
b and my laughter cut off.

“
Miss Davidson, is it?” she sneered in a warbled voice.

I cleared my throat noisily. “The very same,
ma'am
.”

My insolence threw her off. “You...you – go to the office.”

“
Yes, ma'am.” I cheerfully winked at Madison, who jealously
smirked back. More than pleased to leave class, I practically skipped out. I could hear the snickers behind me. Always glad to entertain.

The hall was empty and so quiet that the sound of the classroom door shutting behind me bounced off the lockers. Cree
py. I'd always wondered what it would be like to spend the night in the school all alone. I now imagined it would be somewhat like this – except darker. And scarier.

I hummed along to a random tune in my head as I walked toward the exit. Like I was going
to the principal's office. Puh-lease. Angel of Death here.

Then I noticed Aram waving at me from behind a pillar. I stopped dead in my tracks and, impulsively, smacked myself in the forehead. Damn demons.

“
Aren't you supposed to be sick today, Mr. Lehman?”
I sang down the hall to him.

He made a hushing motion with his hand. “Shut up, Abigail, and come here.”

“
Fine.” I crossed the distance between us quickly. “What?”

A half-smile appeared and there was a devilish look about him. Devilish, ha.

“
I forgot abo
ut something yesterday,” he informed me.

“
What?”

Before I realized it he was touching my shoulder.

The city streets were dark and wet with recent rainfall. I stood unmoving and silent in an empty
store's doorway, watching. My next assignment was on her w
ay; she'd be here any minute now. I had no idea how it would happen, I never did. The tightening of my stomach that came with it had never gone away. And I'd been doing this a long, long time.

The movie theater across from me listed
Pulp Fiction
as its cur
rent feature. What a strange title. Humans came up with the most interesting things. They were the dreamers of the universe.

I watched fog roll in, covering the buildings in a breathing shroud -

and then I was being grabbed, being pulled away.

I struggle
d, I tried using my powers, but whatever had me did not let go. It was pulling me down the alleyway, away from where I needed to be. I couldn't let that woman be alone. She would be there soon.

I continued trying to get away, to no avail. When we reached t
he back of the alley, it dropped me to the ground. “What the hell?” I yelled as I scrambled up. I had to get back.

“
It's me, you idiot. It's Aram.”

I spouted off a series of expletives as I brushed the dirt off of me. “What's with the kidnapping? Why didn
't you just tell me it was you?”

“
Because I knew you would wait until your assignment was finished to talk to me, but this is too urgent to wait to discuss.” Aram was fidgeting, obviously anxious.

“
Well, what is it?” I asked impatiently. The woman would be
here soon.

“
You know your stay is almost up.” He was talking about the current lapse between my human lives. I got a certain amount of time in between each life – presumably to change my mind about my mission to stop Raguel and Remiel, but I didn't really
know. A lot of what happened in relation to those two didn't make sense. We didn't have conferences to clear things up, after all.

Aram's words wearied me.“Yes, I know. What about it?”

“
You can't let Jonathan and Lucas help you this time,” he told me unc
eremoniously.

“
What? Why? I can't get back here without them, you know that.”

He shook his head and clenched his fists. “We don't have time for this again.” He frustratedly gestured around us.

I knew he was talking about coming back and then being reborn
. Years to grow, years to mature until it started all over again. “Things are heating up.”

“
What is? How do you know?” I kept looking behind me, trying to get a look at the street. Was she here yet?

“
I don't have time to stay and explain. I'm just telling
you, when you start getting your memories back...make sure you remember this. Don't go with them. Don't go. Find me and we'll do this together.”

I forgot all about my assignment as I stared at Aram. His usual cocky, unaffected demeanor had slipped. He was
worried. Something was really wrong, I realized. For him to act like that...

“
What's the catch, Aram? I know you don't do anything without a price.”

He visibly relaxed – a tiny bit – because he knew I was going to agree. A little of his arrogance reappeare
d. “We'll talk about that when we meet up.”

I was about to violently protest when I heard the woman's scream.

“
God damnit, Aram.” I gave a frustrated groan. “I have to go. We're not finished,” I yelled over my shoulder as I ran down the alley.

I blinke
d several times as the vision cleared. My chin had fallen against my chest and I pulled my head up from its slack position.

“
Uhhh,” I started dizzily.

“
Right?” He grinned in satisfaction. “So what do you think?”

What did I think? I thought this stuff was g
etting more convoluted by the minute. But I said, “I have no idea.” And then, “Did that actually happen?”

He casually affirmed this.

“
So basically you wanted to team up.”

“
Correction:
want
to team up.”

I squinted at him, sizing up the situation. To be hone
st, I believed him. And something in my mind agreed with this proposed scenario of the demon and I working together - even though the demon was a demon. Maybe it would be fine because we'd been working together so long...apparently. Didn't we have the same
goals?

His shadow played across the brick pillar behind him; his mischievous eyes inspected me coolly as I considered. Demon, he was a demon. Don't forget it.

Again, a little betraying voice in my head....
could be the way to go
.

“
Uhhh,” I fumbled again
and rubbed my neck.

He waited with an expectant look and I was suddenly filled with annoyance. I dropped my hand. “Can't I have like five minutes to consider this kind of life changing, world shattering question? We'll talk about this some other time.”

Ar
am shrugged, acting like
I
was the one being unreasonable. “Whatever. See you around, Abs.”

I glared at the now empty space before me. Jackass. I continued my way to the exit and wondered whether I was going to come back to school or not. If I didn't, Dan
ielle was gonna be pissed that I didn't invite her to ditch. I should get some normal human time in anyway. I flipped my phone open and quickly texted her to meet me outside, if she wanted to go have some fun. And why not? Surely we could have a little bre
ak. My only worry was that I wouldn't be able to keep my secrets to myself.

Seven minutes later I was watching Danielle run toward my toasty warm car.

“
Hey,” she puffed out as she jumped in. “Good call on the skipping. Spanish was kicking my ass today.”

“
Duh. I'm a genius.” The car slid its way out of the parking lot. Apparently brakes weren't going to be useful on the ice this morning.

She rifled through the contents of her backpack. “So where we off to? Shopping? It's kind of early to really go anywher
e.”

I rubbed my frozen iPod on my chest, trying to warm it up so it would play. “You know, I hadn't really thought about it.”

Danielle finally pulled out what she'd been searching for. “Yes, here we go. Well, if you have no ideas I have one. I've got this
new album...” She held it out for me to see.

“
A music drive?”

She nodded enthusiastically. “A music drive, my dear, is exactly what this boring morning calls for.”

“
Last time we saw Bigfoot, D.”

“
Right? It's freaking awesome. Let's do it.”

Aram had said th
at those demons I'd been seeing were his. I wasn't sure why I was hesitating at this old, familiar tradition of ours.

I made a sharp turn at the next intersection, heading in the direction of Salem canyon. “Pop it in.”

We safely missed two classes aimless
ly driving around. The ice had soon melted enough for us to race back to the school in time for third hour.

When we arrived back, we jumped out of the car as soon as I killed the ignition and raced down the sidewalk, laughing. As we laughed, a melancholy
feeling seeped into my chest, down to my knees. I
bet angels didn't get to do stuff like this - this carefree, silly joy. Instead, every minute of theirs was significant, working toward something bigger than anything a human could ever know – the fates of
all the people in the world, the work of God.