Girl of Mine (25 page)

“Aw, don’t look so upset. It’s not like we’ve been the best of friends lately.”

“You’ve always been my best friend, Troy. You know that.”

Troy said nothing.

Luke paced the office a few times, walking off nervous energy. “We should get a second opinion.”

“Already did.”

Luke collapsed onto the chair again. This was too much. He felt numb, like his body had turned into itself and was protecting his vital organs. The rest of him tingled and sweat beaded his forehead. Just this morning, his future looked bright. How had so much changed in a matter of hours? Not only would he be leaving his brand new wife behind, but a dying best friend. Leaving could not come at a worse time.

“I’m sorry, Troy. I’m really sorry.”

Troy cocked his head and shrugged his shoulders, hiding his true feelings. It occurred to Luke that Troy and his mother were going to need help. And he was going to be overseas. Perhaps Jill would help. His mom would too. His mom and Troy’s mom had always been close.

“What can I do for you, Troy?”

Troy was quiet for several minutes, staring into space.

“You could let me have her,” he mumbled under his breath.

“What did you say?”

“I said you could let me have her.” Troy enunciated every word perfectly.

“Let you have who?”

“Jill.”

Luke stood. “Excuse me?” He knew his face turned red as anger washed over him from head to toe.

“Let me have Jill for the year. You’ll be gone. And by the time you get back, I’ll be gone. No harm done.”

“What in the hell are you talking about?” Luke sputtered.

“I’m talking about having happiness in my life, Luke. I’m talking about having the girl I love in my life. I’m talking about a dying man’s final wish.”

Stunned, Luke could only stare at Troy. He shook his head. Finally finding his voice, he said, “Did I just hear you correctly?”

“I don’t think there’s anything wrong with your ears.”

“
You
are in love with Jill?”

“I saw her first and I met her first. You stole her from me,” Troy yelled. “You’ve stolen
everything
from me.”

Luke felt the blood rush to his head like a tidal wave. Troy may as well have hit him. His words stung as if he had.

“If you hadn’t swooped in, it would be me and Jill getting married right now. But you just had to butt in.”

Luke felt as though he couldn’t put two cohesive words together. What was Troy talking about? “Jill said there was nothing between you two.”

“No, but there would’ve been if you hadn’t cut in.”

Luke stared at Troy as though he hardly knew him. He suddenly realized he didn’t know this man, not really. They’d gone their separate ways years ago and had become two very different men. “You don’t know that, Troy.”

“No, I don’t, because I never had the chance, did I? Give me that chance now. That’s all I’m asking.”

“Give you
what
chance?” Luke said, anger churning in his belly.

“Give me a chance with Jill.”

“Are you kidding?”

“Not at all. You’ll be gone for the next year or so. Let me have a chance with her while you’re gone.”

Luke scoffed. “It doesn’t work that way, Troy. She’s not something you can borrow while I’m gone. She has feelings and emotions of her own. Those sentiments don’t switch on and off like a light bulb.”

“I know that. I’m just asking for a chance, that’s all. It’s my last year on this earth. I’d like to have a little happiness in my life. Is that so much to ask?”

“Yes. You ask for too much.” They weren’t in high school anymore and this was Luke’s life Troy wanted to mess with. He can’t expect . . .

“You owe me, Luke.”

Luke swallowed. Hard. Troy did expect it. His throat felt dry and tight. “I beg your pardon?”

“You heard me. You owe me. You owe me this chance at happiness.”

Luke felt his gut clench and twist and turn, like someone just gave his stomach an Indian burn.

“Don’t marry her before you go. Whatever happens happens. That’s all I’m asking.”

“You can’t be serious. You can’t toy with people’s emotions like that; you can’t toy with
Jill’s
emotions like that. I won’t do that to her.”

“Scared she’ll choose me,
Luke
?”

“She’s already made her choice,
Troy
. I love her and she loves me. It’s not something that can be changed or borrowed or given. She’s not a thing, she’s a person. I can’t give her to you for a year. It doesn’t work like that and you know it.”

“I’m not asking for you to give her to me. I’m asking for a chance with her while you’re gone. I’m asking you to step down, to not marry her, and give me a chance. It’s my dying wish. That’s all.”

“That’s
all
?” Luke belted, exasperated.

“Yes, that’s all. If anything happens between us, it will be Jill’s choice.”

“It’s manipulative and you know it. She has a soft heart and she loves you.” Jill loved Troy because Luke loved Troy. But Troy didn’t understand that.

“So, you
are
scared she’ll choose me. You can’t face it, can you? I repeat, it would totally be her choice, Luke. No one would be forcing her to do anything.”

“Absolutely not.”

Troy’s eyes narrowed. “Some friend you turned out to be.”

Luke felt himself pale. It felt as though the wind just got knocked out of him. “Don’t say that. It’s not fair.” Luke knew Troy’s behavior toward him was often manipulative. Yet he’d never been quite this blunt about it.

“Life isn’t fair. Do you think I want to limp around all my life? Do you think I enjoy never being able to run? Do you think I enjoy watching you live out
my
dreams? Do you think I want to kick the bucket when I’m 28 years old? Hell no!”

Luke couldn’t believe Troy would even ask this of him. It was downright cruel. Actually, it was outrageous and completely out of the question.

“All I want is someone to be by my side while I’m dying. I’ve loved Jill since the moment I met her, long before you ever met her.”

Meeting her one day before Luke had met her hardly qualified as a “long” time. “She’ll be there for you. Jill will be happy to be at your side. She loves you. She won’t let you go through this alone.”

“Not the same thing. I want her at my side as my wife. I want to die having experienced love, real love. Then, and only then, will I be able to die a happy man.”

Luke felt speechless. He would do anything for Troy, but this was the one thing he couldn’t give Troy.

No way.

Absolutely not.

29

Luke and Jill
April 2003

Present Day

Jill stood deathly still. Tears streamed down her face. The only sound in the room was her gasps in between each breath.

No. No, no, no, no, no, no.

“And yet you did it. You stepped down and cleared the pathway for Troy,” she managed to say.

“I did what Troy asked of me. I didn’t marry you before leaving. That’s all. I couldn’t ignore his request and live with myself.”

“But you could live without me.”

“I knew you’d be waiting for me when I returned home.
I knew it.
I didn’t doubt it for one second. I didn’t think you’d do it, Jill. I really didn’t.”

Jill felt every single part of her begin to shake and tremble, even her lips quivered with raw emotion. “You were wrong.”

“I knew I was wrong the moment I left you that horrible night. I ignored your mother’s request. I went to the hospital that night. I saw you in the emergency room. I heard you crying. I’ve never heard anyone cry like that in my life and it killed me. I underestimated your love for me, I know that now. I had to leave early that morning and I couldn’t get out of it. I vowed I’d return as soon as possible and explain. I thought I’d be able to get here sooner.” His eyes glittered. “I couldn’t and it’s been killing me ever since.”

If only he’d just explained right then and there. If only he’d admitted his mistake then. Things would be very different right now. Maybe he’d underestimated her love for him, but she’d underestimated his loyalty to Troy. It reached into the depths of his soul and held him hostage.

Jill controlled the rising storm brewing inside of her. With an edge in her voice she’d never heard before, she said, “My dad had a Mustang when he was in high school. It was his pride and joy. He loved that car more than anything else in his life.”

“No, Jill,” he whispered. He already knew where she was going with her story.

“He spent his Saturdays washing it, vacuuming it, and waxing it until he could see his reflection in the paint job. It was pristine. He joined the Navy at eighteen and was sent overseas. His biggest worry was what to do with his baby while he was gone. So he let his best friend drive it. He promised to take good care of it. When he returned home, he found his car in terrible shape. It had been used and abused by an uncaring driver. It was dirty and dusty, the tires were bald, the gear shift was stripped, and the brakes squealed. His car was never the same.”

Devastation could only describe Luke’s expression. “It’s not like that, Jill.”

“Isn’t it?” Her voice sounded so fierce, so unrelenting even to her own ears. A sob escaped, deafening in the silent room as it echoed off the walls. He wasn’t loaning her to Troy, she knew that. But it felt that way, as a matter of fact the entire situation reeked of utter betrayal.

“I know now that if I’d just come to you right away and told you everything, you would have helped me to see the situation for what it was. I may be late, but I’m here. I’m telling you everything. I know I was wrong. Now the choice is yours.”

Jill felt her face crumple as she lowered her head and began to cry in earnest. Luke took a step toward her and she held her hand up, meaning
stop
. She needed to get out. She needed sky, she needed space, and she needed breathing room. She turned towards the door and headed out.

Luke grabbed her arm. “Jill, wait.”

“No, let me go. Please, just let me go. I just need some time.”

He seemed to sense her need to escape, to have some alone time. He nodded. “All right. Please don’t go far.”

Jill walked briskly with no destination in mind. She just wanted to walk, to flee from the intensity of the confines of the ranch house, and from Luke’s despair-filled eyes. They needed to talk this out, but first she needed time to process. The red-hot anger burning inside of her needed to be squelched before she could think straight.

Thunder rumbled above and lightning clapped loudly. The heavens opened and rain poured down from the laden sky. She was soaked through in less than a minute. Jill didn’t care. The rain and her tears mixed and flooded the earth.
What grows when tears water the earth?
Weeds? Flowers? Perhaps a dandelion—an odd combination of both. Maybe heartfelt tears bestowed the dandelion with the power to grant wishes. Maybe that’s why wishes often have a price. They arrive on the back of another’s heartbreak.

Troy’s wish certainly had.

Jill pushed the random thought away. The sounds of the storm hid her loud sobs and she let them pour out of her, releasing her sorrow over Luke’s choice.

Her feelings warred between anger and understanding. She couldn’t decide which one she wanted to grasp, they both seemed slippery options.

Hurt overwhelmed her at the thought that Luke could give her away as if she were an object he could lend. It wasn’t exactly like that, but that was how it felt to her.

Yet, at the same time, she comprehended his dilemma, and even felt for him. As much as she wanted it to be, his choice was not black and white. She could see the agony on his face and hear the anguish in his voice. It was part of what made Luke
Luke
, the part of him she adored. He felt for others keenly. Jill understood what he’d intended to do. He wanted to do as Troy asked without any consequences. Or at least, he’d assumed there wouldn’t be any consequences.

He must’ve been shocked when he heard that Jill had agreed to marry Troy.

On the other hand, if he had been able to coldly tell Troy, “NO,” he wouldn’t be the man she knew him to be. He would’ve been a machine, with no compassion or empathy, a man who only thought of himself and his selfish desires.

Luke loved deeply and felt deeply, hence the dilemma weighing on him. Because of his past with Troy, he couldn’t just say no and walk away as any normal person would have done. Instead, the desire to please Troy ate him alive.

Conversely, shouldn’t he have stood up for her and for her desires? Shouldn’t he have protected her from being the prize another man wanted to win? Shouldn’t he have trusted in their love for one another and held fast to their promises to each other? Shouldn’t he have stood up to Troy? Shouldn’t he have protected her from obvious manipulation?

Yes to all of the above. He should have. Absolutely.

He should have stood by her side. He should have married her before he left. He should have told Troy to go to hell. Just as he’d said, at the very least, he should have come to her and explained the situation and why he was warring with himself over it. He was right . . . together they could have faced it. Jill would’ve helped him to understand Troy’s underhanded exploitation of their friendship.