Handful of Heaven (9 page)

He did not want to look back in one year or five or ten and see no real memories.

He didn’t want to find that his heart had atrophied from having no one to love.

He did not know what the answer was. He didn’t know if he could trust another woman enough to date again. He’d have to open his heart, open his life and hope that he wasn’t on a path as destructive as his marriage had been.

As he looked around the room, he saw several settled couples. Husbands and wives who were raising their kids and had it together. They sat side by side, leaning slightly toward one another as if they were always just a little connected, even in public. Those secret looks, knowing smiles and silent communication spoke of the kind of bond Evan had never been privileged to know.

The hard punch of emotion in his chest, feelings he couldn’t begin to sort out, left him distracted. He should be paying attention. But the lines before him seemed to brighten. Was it time to make a change?

The truth was, he’d learned the hard way that a marriage depended on both husband and wife working together. Making good choices. Renewing their love and commitment and belief in one another every day. Day by day. That was putting a whole lot of faith in another person.

What no one told you about marriage was that a man wasn’t only putting his faith in the hope that love would last, but also in the woman he married. He had to have faith that every decision she would make in the years to come would be for the good.

When a man trusted a woman enough to marry her, he was trusting her with his heart, his soul, his children, his home, his finances, his everything. He’d been burned—and burned hard—by Liz.

But that didn’t mean there weren’t women who would never harm their husbands. Who would never hurt them. Never lie or cheat or betray the man they loved.

Why was he so aware of Paige at his side? Her presence shone through him like the warm rays of a summer sun and he felt illuminated.

Time flew. Before he knew it, he was muttering “Amen” following the final prayer. The small group was breaking up, talking and starting on their goodbyes.

It surprised him how fast Paige had popped out of her chair and was busily stuffing her book and Bible into her big floral bag. She’d purposefully turned her back to him and was chatting with one of her cousins. Evan recognized the young lady. She was one of the younger girls in the family, and she’d worked at the diner during her teenage years. Kelly, he thought the girl’s name was, gazed up at Paige with unmistakable admiration.

That’s when it hit him once again the kind of lady Paige McKaslin really was. She gave away cinnamon rolls and connection. She worked endlessly to cook and serve other people. Her diner supported her family and many of her cousins through their school and college years. Her business was a place in the community where friends joined, and lonely souls could find a hot cup of good coffee and kindness.

No man is an island, he knew, and he didn’t want to be alone anymore.

He hadn’t believed he could find a woman he could trust. A woman who stayed, who faced her responsibilities, and who did so without bitterness and resentment.

How long had he prayed for such a woman to love, to be a helpmate, just to have and to hold, after Liz had left and before the hurt she’d caused settled deep into his heart?

Forever. He’d given up. He’d let bitterness in. He’d closed off his heart to the possibility of ever being hurt like that again. And God’s answer might have been in front of him all along.

S
unday morning’s torrential rain chased her through the diner’s back door. What had happened to May’s gentle weather? Where was spring?

The last few days had felt like total chaos, and with the morning sermon still fresh in her mind, Paige slipped her Bible on the end of the counter, shrugged out of her drenched raincoat, and vowed to put order back into her life.

No more stray thoughts about Evan Thornton. No more faint wishes for fairy tales. God had given her a perfectly good life; it was enough. In fact, it was more than enough. It took all her energy to keep it in order.

Look at the kitchen. She had slipped out to the early morning service, and see what happened in her absence. Prep work was scattered everywhere. “Alex!”

Where was that boy? And, with a sting of excitement, she wondered, where was Amy? Hadn’t she turned up for work this morning? Had she been able to take a pregnancy test? Was she pregnant?

Joy at that happy thought chased away her annoyance at her wayward son. He was only a teenager, and therefore innately distractible, and so she’d simply hunt him down and get him back on task.

The bulk of their Sunday-morning business wouldn’t hit until after the main morning service at the town churches, and so there was plenty of time to right this sinking ship.

“Alex?” She ignored the rainwater sluicing off the jacket as she hung it up. And, speaking of teenagers, where were the twins?

She wove through the abandoned kitchen and peeked out into the dining room—there were only the old-timers finishing up a quiet breakfast before heading over to services. Their cups looked freshly refilled and their plates had been bussed, so the twins couldn’t have gone too far.

“Have you seen the kids?” she asked Ed Brisbane when she caught his eye.

“Don’t know what they were up to. They were in the office arguing in whispers, but we could hear ’em.”

“The office?” That didn’t make any sense. She was the only one who handled the paperwork.

“Then I heard the back door slam shut. Haven’t seen ’em since.”

That can’t be good. “Okay. Thanks. How about Amy?”

“Caught sight of her running down the hall looking like a woman with morning sickness.” Ed’s merry eyes twinkled. “At least, that’s the way it looked to me.”

“Me, too.” Since the restrooms were closer, Paige hurried down the short hallway and burst through the door to find the twins hovering over the sinks.

“Paige! Amy’s really, really sick!” They both flew at her, talking in unison.

It was a relief to see them; at least they weren’t outside in this rain, for whatever reason. “Amy, are you all right?”

“Yes,” came a weak reply from inside one of the stalls.

Definitely morning sickness, Paige thought as she rounded on the twins. “Where’s Alex?”

“Uh…” Brianna traded worried glances with her twin.

Both girls said nothing more for a moment, as if stumped as to what to say. “He’s, uh…”

“Where is he?”
Alarm pounded through her. His truck had been parked in the back lot. He wouldn’t have gone out on foot in this weather, right? “He’s supposed to be helping with the brunch prep.”

“I don’t wanna tell ya.” Brandilyn gave a longing look toward the door. “‘Cuz it’ll really upset ya and stuff.”

Alarm transformed into panic. A thousand possible disasters zoomed into her mind.
“What is going on?
Just tell me.”

“He’s…he’s on the r-roof,” Brianna stammered. “It’s, like, leaking.”

“What?” All she could see was disaster. It was raining so hard. “You mean he’s up on the roof?
Right now?”

“Don’t worry—”

“—but we’ve got a bucket under the leak—” the twins said in unison.

Amy’s voice sounded, thin but steadfast, on the other side of the stall. “Paige, go after him. I didn’t know—” And that’s as far as she got.

“What do we do?” the twins asked breathlessly.

“Brandilyn, go hold her hair if you don’t mind. Brianna, call Heath, ok? Amy, I’ll be right back, sweetie.”

There was only a moan of misery. Sympathy for her sister’s condition fueled Paige’s trek through the kitchen and out the back door. She, too, had been enormously sick the entire time she was carrying Alex. Making a mental note to take Amy off the schedule in no uncertain terms—allowing her light duty only when she was feeling well enough—she slipped back into her dripping raincoat and hurried out into what felt like a hurricane.

“Alex?” The deafening hammer of the rain drowned out the sound of her voice, even when she cupped her hands like a megaphone and tried again. Since there was no sign of him from where she stood, she circled around the side of the building. There wasn’t a ladder on the premises, so that meant he’d had to climb onto the roof from the vacant upstairs apartment.

Sure enough, as she climbed the outside stairs to the apartment door, she caught sight of a flash of navy blue against the peak of the front side of the roof—she couldn’t have spotted him when she pulled in. If she had, he’d be safe in the diner by now.

“Alex!” Rainwater cascaded down the asphalt shingles like a river at flood stage, and it had to make the roof impossibly slick. How exactly had he gotten up on that roof? “Alex!”

The storm was too loud for him to hear her. She could just make out the curve of his back, so she waved her arms, hoping to catch his attention. Nothing. She wasn’t about to let him stay out here. The rain was bitter cold. He’d catch pneumonia if he wasn’t careful, that is, if he didn’t fall off the roof first.

Regretting that she hadn’t had time for her usual morning yoga in the last six months, she felt her back groan as she climbed over the handrail and wedged the toes of her walking boots onto the lowest corner of the eave. Water raced in a torrent around her feet as she lunged forward and wrapped her arm around the rain gutter downspout, while icy water pounded down on her head and back.

Trying not to imagine the hard blacktopped ground two stories below, she clung to the downspout, which she seriously prayed was securely attached, and fell forward onto the roof. Her hands hit the slick surface and she began to slide, but she didn’t fall.

Alex is in so much trouble.
It was that single crisp thought that gave her enough fuel to grab hold of the gable window’s eaves and inch forward. The shingles felt as though they’d been coated in vegetable oil, and she slipped her way to the top of the first peak of the gable, where Alex had apparently already spotted her.

She sank to the small crest, sitting on the frigid wetness, and tried to forget she was terrified of heights. “Get over here, young man.”

He might not be able to hear her, but he knew good and well what she was saying. He gaped at her from beneath the hood of his coat; he looked wet to the skin. He held up the hammer as if explaining what he was doing on the roof.

The boy meant well. He had a good heart. But this was dangerous! She crooked her finger, giving him her best imperial look. “Now.”

“I’m almost done.” She couldn’t hear his words, but she could read his lips.

“Move.” She gave him her most severe look, the one that meant business.

He tried to charm her with “The Eye,” thinking himself so grown up and manly, she reasoned, for being the one to fix the leaking roof. But that was what roofers were for. They were paid to fix roofs. She didn’t relent, and finally he gave in and crawled nimbly along the dangerous roof, seemingly without a care in the world. That boy! She grabbed him the second he was in range. “Down. Now.”

“Yeah, Mom, that’s what I’m doing.” He looked amused more than anything as he swung down, using the supports of the covered staircase roof, and landed on the top step.

If only she were that agile! Paige went to follow suit, but she couldn’t get any traction as she eased down the protection of the gable window. Just at the time her boots threatened to follow the water and slide right over the full gutters to the ground below, a big male hand shot out from the gray curtain of wind-driven rain.

But it wasn’t Alex’s hand. It was Evan Thornton in his Sunday best, soaked and looking more handsome than any man had the right to look. Instead of appearing as a drowned rat, the way she feared
she
did, the rain slicked his dark hair to his scalp, making him look virile and capable, and when he took her hand, his touch felt as invincible as steel.

I don’t want to like this man, she reminded herself firmly, surprised that she was so glad to see him. Not that she needed help, no, but his just being near seemed to take the sting out of the icy rain and the damp out of the air. She didn’t like that, either! She did not want Evan to affect her in the slightest. But he did. She could no longer deny it as his hands gripped hers and held her steady as she crossed from the roof to the rail and down.

“You didn’t need to come rescue me.” She didn’t mean to sound harsh.

“I didn’t come to rescue you. I saw Alex up there, as I drove by on my way to church, and I thought he didn’t belong up there. At least, not without someone who knows what they’re doing on a roof.”

“And that would be you?”

“Sure. I put myself through college working carpentry in the summers. Want me to take a look?”

“I want you safe on the ground. That roof is slick.”

“It’s a piece of cake.” Only then did she realize he’d grabbed Alex’s hammer, which he must have taken from him on the stairs. “Go inside before you freeze. Have a hot cup of coffee waiting for me, would you?”

And as if he had the perfect right, he climbed onto the roof and disappeared, as agile as a gorilla. A great big, pushy
male
gorilla. Why she was furious, she couldn’t explain it to herself, but she wasn’t about to let some man, some arrogant, know-it-all man, think he could rescue her. She didn’t need help. She might have appreciated the referral to a good plumber, and though she likely could have gotten herself out of the snowdrift, she appreciated the use of his truck’s winch, but
this was way too far.

This was her roof! She didn’t seem to have any trouble, other than a single slip as she cleared the gable, angrily climbing low along the slope of the roof. Rain lashed her. A cruel wind battered her as she knelt beside Evan.

He didn’t seem surprised to see her. “I thought you were headed inside.”

“You thought wrong. This is my roof. My problem.”

“Fine. You want to hold this flush so I can hammer this flashing back down?”

There was a flicker of amusement in his dark eyes, eyes that had flecks of gold and bronze in those brown irises. Expressive eyes that seemed so…caring. Caring. She had to be wrong. Evan Thornton didn’t really care about her. She didn’t know why he was on her roof, but there was no way he was doing this out of some sense of fairness. Or, maybe he was just after a few free meals. That was easier to believe than the fact that a man could care about her.

She knew for a fact that a man couldn’t. Men were undependable. Unreliable. And when Jimmy had left her, the pain had brought her to her knees. She’d loved him. She’d truly loved him. No, she’d been foolish ever to care, even a little, for a man.

That’s when a familiar minivan caught her attention as it pulled in at an angle, taking two spots, in front of the diner. Heath emerged from the driver’s door, leaving the vehicle running, and bolted onto the sidewalk. With another slam, her eight-year-old nephew followed his new dad into the diner and out of her sight. Heath had come to fetch Amy. The realization was like a terrible twisting sensation in her chest, a twisting that tightened until it felt as if her lungs were being ripped into shreds.
Some
men, she amended, were constant and committed.

“Like this?” She held the edge of the tin flashing firmly, the way he’d been doing it.

He nodded, not even bothering to look at what she was doing. His gaze latched on hers and like a brush to her heart, she felt touched in places she’d never even known were inside her. As if there was an undiscovered room in her heart—There she went, believing in things that weren’t real. Things that had no substance or merit. Wishful thinking was a flaw she couldn’t afford.

If it was possible, the rain came down in an even fiercer wave, the crashing downpour turning to pebble-sized hail.

“This just isn’t getting any easier,” Evan chuckled, as if he didn’t mind at all. He slid a nail near to her fingertips and gave a competent tap.

Most men grumbled when they were uncomfortable, and squatting on top of a diner’s roof in the middle of a hailstorm wasn’t anything close to being comfortable. And many men thought they were pretty handy, but they weren’t. Evan, true to his word, tacked down the flashing and tugged the shingles back into place competently.

“That ought to hold until the storm’s over. Well, unless it gets any worse.” He grinned at her through the downpour, and the cold seemed almost bearable.

The thundering storm, the skin-chilling winds, even the cramp developing in her left calf faded until there was only Evan’s steady gaze and his sincere grin and his presence brimming through her like the richest honey. It was a sweetness she’d never known and could not explain.

And certainly had the good sense not to believe in.

She felt her chin rise up, and something that felt like an impenetrable titanium shield close around her heart. “I could have hammered that down myself, you know.”

“I know. I have complete confidence in you. But seeing as you’re going to have dinner with me tonight—”

“What?”
She couldn’t have heard him right. The hail pounded around them, crescendoing, until the only thing louder was the wild jackhammering of her heartbeat. “We’re not having dinner tonight.”

“You owe me for this, right?”

“Y-yes.” She stopped.

Evan watched her pretty rosebud pink lips shaped with whatever she was about to say next, and realized he was right.

Did she also figure out that he intended to make her keep her word? Evan sure hoped so. “I want dinner with you.”