Heart of Rockies 03 - More Than a Feeling (28 page)

“In the kitchen.” The chaos in her stomach made it hard to talk. She could throw up right now…

Instead she fisted her hands. Brookie needed her. So she opened the door for Thomas and followed him into the kitchen.

Sawyer still had Brooklyn sheltered in his arms. She wasn’t crying anymore, but her head still rested on his shoulder. Her eyes were blank and tired.

Thomas wheeled over, such compassion on his weathered face. “I’m so proud of you, Brookie.” He tugged on her chin until she raised her head and looked at him. “That took so much courage, putting everything back,” he said, and his gruff voice had turned tender. “You’re such a good girl.”

What might’ve been a platitude for most children made Brooklyn’s eyes light with joy.

It glittered inside of Ruby, too. Both hope and joy. Because Brooklyn’s life could change, too, just like hers had.

Sawyer took a knee again, so that he was the same height as her. “What do you think is the best way to make this right?” he asked Brooklyn, putting the outcome in her hands.

She thought, lips bunched, eyes searching the room. “I need to tell Bryce and Avery I’m sorry.” Sincerity whispered through the words.

Thomas patted her shoulder. “That’s a great idea. I’ll take you down to see them right now.” He leaned closer to the girl, waiting until she gazed into his eyes. “But then it’ll all be over. You won’t have to worry about it anymore, honey,” he said, lifting the burden off her.

Off Ruby, too. What a good man. What a good, kind man. He deserved Elsie as much as she deserved him.

“Okay.” Brooklyn’s hands scrubbed her eyes and she inhaled deeply, as though trying to be brave. “Yeah, I want to tell them I’m sorry.”

Sawyer turned to Thomas. “Maybe she could make it up to them, too.”

Ruby studied his hopeful face. “How?”

Brooklyn gazed up at him like he was pure sunlight. And he was—a beautiful soul who’d brought light and hope into her world.

“Yeah. How?” Brooklyn asked.

“Well, I know they need a lot of help around the ranch,” Sawyer said. “Maybe you could come out on the weekends sometimes and work with the horses.”

Tears filled Ruby’s eyes at the way Brooklyn grasped on to that offering.

“Really?” she gasped. “You think I could come back?”

Thomas looked thoughtful. “Definitely a possibility,” he said. “I’ll talk to Greg and Diane, but I’d venture to guess that your new foster parents would think it was a very good idea.”

Yes. It was a very good idea. The best. And Ruby knew exactly why Sawyer had suggested it. So they could stay in touch with her, so they could keep an eye on her and give her a place to belong just like they’d done for Ruby.

A rush of love for him pushed her to his side.

He draped an arm around her as they watched Thomas give Brooklyn a ride in his chair at breakneck speed out the door.

“She’s gonna be all right,” Sawyer murmured, turning to face her, looking down at her with those enchanting eyes.

“I know she is.” Because love could heal any heart. It didn’t matter how broken it was. That’s what Sawyer had taught her.

His hands slipped to her waist. They were so large they almost made her feel petite.

“Come home with me tonight,” he whispered, eyes softened with a look of desire.

Peering up at him, she crawled her fingers up his chest. “I can’t.” Tonight she had to force herself back into her past so she could determine how to put it to rest for good. “I have to take care of some things at home.”

“Don’t tell me you’re cleaning again,” he whined. “Because I can promise you…staying with me tonight would be a hell of a lot more fun.”

“No.” She smiled at him. “I just still haven’t unpacked my bags.” Was it only last night that she’d planned to run away from him?

“Right.” A shadow of fear crossed his face. “You’re not planning to leave without saying good-bye?”

“No.” She wouldn’t leave. Not forever, anyway. “I just want to get everything situated again before work in the morning.” She pressed to her tiptoes and kissed him, holding her lips against his, soaking in his goodness. “Tomorrow night,” she whispered against his lips. She would cancel on Paige and Avery. “I promise. I’ll go to the store and we can make a quiet dinner at your place.”

“Make dinner. I like it.” He bounced his eyebrows as though he was picturing her wearing one of those frilly aprons she had…and nothing else.

“Tomorrow,” she confirmed. Hopefully by then she would know how to fix the lies that covered her past so she could start walking toward a future with Sawyer.

S
o you’re telling me the bastard beat her up?” Bryce stared at him in disbelief.

“Yeah,” Sawyer answered, lining up for a killer shot into the right corner pocket.
Thunk.
He tapped the ball and sunk it. They were down in Bryce’s man cave basement, playing pool and smoking cigars, don’t tell Avery. “And he was a repeat offender.” God, he didn’t even want to know how many times that man had laid a hand on Ruby. Sawyer hadn’t meant to say anything to Bryce, but seeing as how Ruby consumed his thoughts these days, there wasn’t much else he wanted to talk about.

“Damn.” Bryce shook his head and leaned down, eyeing the table for his next move.

“I’m ready to track him down and send his ass to prison, but she wouldn’t give up his name.”

“He wouldn’t be that hard to find.”
Thunk.
Bryce hit the solid five too hard and missed the corner pocket by a mile.

Sawyer took a drag of his cigar, welcoming the buzz, seeing as how he didn’t do beer around Bryce. “I’ve thought about that.” He knew Ruby was from North Carolina. And the name Ruby James couldn’t be that common. He could easily type her name into the computer and see what popped up. Then again, he’d promised her there’d be no background checks…

“I’ve got the iPad down here.” Bryce leaned his pool cue against the table and puffed on his cigar. “Maybe we should do some detective work.”

“Sure. Why not?” He didn’t have to
do
anything with the information they found. But at least he’d know who the guy was, where to find him when the time came. Because any man who abused a woman that way had to be held accountable.

He followed Bryce to the wet bar area, which Avery kept stocked with soda and nonalcoholic beer.

His cousin handed him the iPad. “Here. You can find anything or anyone on Google.”

Sawyer slid onto a stool and fired it up. He typed
Ruby James, North Carolina
into the search bar. Some singer popped up. That wasn’t her. He scrolled through various Facebook profiles, which he’d be willing to bet she’d never had, considering she’d been hiding from this asshole.

“See anything?” Bryce looked over his shoulder.

There was a lot to see, but none it seemed to be related to Ruby.

“What’s that?” His cousin pointed at the screen.

Sawyer squinted. An obituary from the archives of a small newspaper. For Ruby James from Cherryville, North Carolina. He clicked on it and scanned the words.

“It’s not her.” Because this Ruby James had died well over a year ago at the age of eighty. He read the rest of the article.

In the absence of any children of her own, Ms. James left her estate to Kate McPherson, a young girl who lived next door to Ms. James years ago. Ms. James’s attorneys are trying to locate Ms. McPherson so they can settle the estate. Ms.
McPherson was taken away from her mother and put into the foster system at the age of 8 and would now be 26 years old. If you have any information…

“Holy shit.” Bryce seemed to be reading over his shoulder. “You said Ruby was in the foster system.”

Sawyer blinked at the words, trying to bring them back into focus. Kate McPherson.

Kate.

“How old was she when she went in?” Bryce asked, clearly clueless to his current state of chaos.

Ruby lied to him. She wasn’t Ruby. She was Kate. He stared at the small scratched picture of the girl they’d been searching for. Looked like a school portrait. Hard to tell what color her hair was, but the girl had the same full cheeks and large eyes as Ruby.

Kate.

As Kate. How could Ruby be Kate McPherson?

He closed out of the news article and typed
Kate McPherson, Cherryville, North Carolina
into the search bar.

A newspaper article popped up. An engagement announcement. With a picture of Ruby. Kate. He shook his head, confused as hell because she looked the same. Gorgeous red hair. Those stunning green eyes…

Derek Alders and Kate McPherson are engaged to be married…

Kate McPherson
. This whole time she’d been pretending to be someone else. With him. With Elsie and Bryce. The shock of it darkened into anger, casting a shadow over everything they’d shared. Jesus, didn’t she know identity theft was a felony? She could go to prison. And the Walkers could be accused of harboring a felon…

“Well…” Bryce took a long drag on his cigar. “Looks like you found the fucker.”

“Why didn’t she tell me?” That she’d stolen her old neighbor’s identity? Or at least that Ruby wasn’t her real name? He’d slept with the woman and he didn’t even know her real name…

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but I probably wouldn’t tell a cop if I was using a fake identity, either.” Bryce leaned against the bar. “I wouldn’t take it personally, though. Her ex obviously scared the hell out of her. Maybe she didn’t think she had a choice.”

Maybe not at first. But what about last night? She could’ve told him. If she trusted him like she said she did, she would’ve told him.

He’d thought she told him everything. How could he have been so stupid? He should’ve recognized it. He was a cop.

“What’re you gonna do?” his cousin asked, stubbing out his cigar in the ashtray.

Sawyer set down the iPad and stubbed out his cigar, too. “I’m going over there. To talk to her.”

He had to see her. Even though he didn’t know what to say.

Even with the windows down, the facts he’d learned about Ruby smoldered inside of him, creating a firestorm of anger. Technically, he should arrest her. He’d sworn to uphold the law.

His fists pounded the steering wheel.
Damn it!
How could she have put him in this position? She obviously knew it was against the law to steal someone else’s identity, even if that person was dead. That’s why she hadn’t told him. She’d purposely withheld that little fact.

And that one fact could bring her down.

Fuck
. What the hell was he supposed to do? The feelings he’d developed for her went so deep, tangling with the obligations he had to his badge. She’d lied. And somehow it seemed worse than lying about sleeping around. She’d lied about who she was. She’d kept him from knowing the real her.

Even when he was making love to her in the shower.

The tires skidded as he hit the brakes in front of her house. He could sit there for a few minutes and try to get himself together so he didn’t go in on the offensive, but no amount of time would subdue the sense of betrayal. He had to see her face. Look in her eyes and ask why.

Lights glowed from the windows of Ruby’s duplex, making the place look warm and cozy. A flash of longing cut through the madness and for an instant he wished he was there to visit, to sit on the front porch with her wrapped in his arms. But no. No. He shoved it off. He couldn’t let it go. He couldn’t go on pretending he didn’t know the truth.

To him, truth was everything. Especially after what he’d gone through with Kaylee.

The anger recharged, sending him swiftly up the porch steps. He pounded on the door.

There was some kind of commotion inside. Thudding and shuffling, and he could’ve sworn he heard her talking. Or was it the television?

His boot tapped as he waited. Took a long time before the door finally swung open and Ruby stood in front of him.

Once his eyes fell on her, he had to look away. The sight of those black leggings and fitted t-shirt was too much. She’d piled her hair on top of her head, leaving loose tendrils to spill down over her shoulders. She looked so happy and comfortable that the reality of what he was about to do turned his body to stone.

“Sawyer.” Her sweet smile gouged him. “What are you doing here?” she asked, stepping out onto the porch and closing the door behind her.

He kept his distance from her. Couldn’t let himself indulge with a steady look in her eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me the truth?”

She staggered back a step. “Wh…what?”

She’d heard him. He knew because her face flushed with panic.

Another gust of anger blew right through him. “The truth, Ruby. Why didn’t you tell me the truth?”

“I’m sorry.” Her back slumped against the door, slouching her shoulders. “I’m so sorry, Sawyer.”

“I don’t want an apology.” God, didn’t she realize an apology couldn’t change anything? “I want to know why.” He’d given her every opportunity to tell him. He’d told her he’d do whatever he could to help her. And she’d still lied to him.

A sudden force stood her upright. Those green eyes flashed. “I would’ve told you, but you said you couldn’t help. You said there was nothing you could do.”

“When did I ever say that?” he demanded, and yes his tone was getting away from him. But what the hell? All he’d done was offer to help her. He’d done his best to make her feel safe and protected. But he couldn’t help her if she wasn’t honest with him.

“When I called you that day,” she shot back. “I told you the man was hurting Nellie.” She waved a finger in his face. “You said there was nothing you could do.”

Her words turned his mind in circles. It took him longer than it should’ve to unravel their meaning. “Oh my god.” He braced a hand against the porch railing, gripping it so hard he was shocked it didn’t splinter. “You stole the dog.”

“He was hurting her,” she yelled. “And I didn’t
steal
her. Nellie practically came right up to my door.”

Shit
. So she wasn’t just an identity thief, she was also an animal thief. Raking his hand through his hair, he exhaled to stabilize his revving pulse. He shouldn’t be shocked. She’d been through a hell of a lot with her ex, he got that. But he’d asked her about the dog. And she’d lied to his face.

Not to mention…she’d committed another class-three felony. He could arrest her right now. Technically, he
should
arrest her right now…

“I’m sorry,” she said again, and now her face and eyes were soft. “I didn’t mean to lie to you, Sawyer.”

Well, she may not have meant to, but she had. Repeatedly. And it wasn’t like the lies only hurt him. They could hurt her; they could ruin her life. His throat tingled, threatening to yell, but he swallowed hard before he spoke. “I came here because I found out you’re not Ruby James. You’re Kate McPherson.”

Her gaze plummeted to the ground, eyes gaping at nothing. Her shoulders seemed to sag, too, almost like she was cowering. “How…how did you find out?”

The fear in her posture drew him closer. She’d been scarred. It might not be visible, but he had to remember that. “I Googled Ruby James,” he said, guarding his tone. “So I could find your sorry-ass ex. So I could figure out how to go after him.”

Her head hung. She still wouldn’t look up. “I asked you not to.”

“Why?” The heated question flew out of him before he could check it. “So you could keep lying to me?”

She staggered, her back colliding with the door again. Her legs seemed to give and she slowly deflated to the concrete.

Seeing her huddled on the ground like that—like a lost and terrified girl—dropped him to his knees. He inched forward. “Ruby…” He touched her cheek. “Talk to me.”

Her head shook and those tendrils of hair covered her face. She kept her eyes focused downward, as though she was afraid to look at him. “I was scared.” He couldn’t see the tears, but he heard them in her voice.

“I didn’t know how else to get away,” she whispered. “He threatened to kill me and make it look like an accident. And…” Her breathing grew labored. “He could’ve, Sawyer. He knew how. He was a cop.”

The cold from the concrete seeped into him, icing over his self-righteous indignation. That piece—that missing fact—clicked into place and brought the picture into focus.

Her ex was a cop. The man who’d turned her into a victim was the worst kind of cop. One who abused his power. No wonder she’d hidden. No wonder she hadn’t told him.

She was crying now, fat tears and soft sobs that punctured his heart and made him see her—Ruby. She was Ruby James, the same girl he’d fallen for. A name meant nothing. He knew her.

“C’mere.” He gathered her against him and lifted her into his arms. “We’ll figure this out.” He rose to his feet and carried her into the house, carefully lowering her to the couch.

For the first time in too long, she peeked into his eyes. “I wanted to tell you everything, but—”

“It’s okay.” He smoothed a hand down her silky hair. “I understand why you didn’t feel like you could.” She didn’t need to explain. It didn’t matter what had happened before. All that mattered was that they figure out how to deal with this, how to protect her from the potential consequences. He paced a minute, trying to figure out where to start. First, he had to find out how deep she was in. “Have you filled out any legal documents as Ruby James?”

She shook her head. “No. Nothing.”

Relief blew through him, scattering his concerns. “That’s good.” That meant he could still fix it before she’d have to face any legal consequences. “Now about the dog…”

Before he could sit down with her, a scratching sound scraped the bedroom door.

“Can you let Nellie out?” Ruby asked, pulling her knees into her chest like she was too weak to walk.

Nellie. She’d already given the dog a nickname, and unless he missed his guess the two had bonded. Which was going to make his job hell here in a little while. Dreading what he would have to do, he opened the door.

The dog bounded out of the room, tearing in two circles before launching itself onto the couch and into Ruby’s lap, whining and licking her face.

Ruby hugged Nell tight. “Hi, sweetie,” she murmured. “Everything’s okay.”

Sighing, Sawyer dropped to the couch next to her. It was obvious that they were crazy about each other, but he had to protect her. If someone else found out…he couldn’t even go there. She obviously didn’t realize what could happen. “You can’t keep her, Ruby,” he said as gently as he could. “You could get in huge trouble.” At least he’d been the one to find her out…

Her face crumpled again. “I only wanted to protect her,” she cried.

The way she’d never been protected. She didn’t have to say it.

The dog stretched in her lap, scratching her small paws against Ruby’s chest so she could lick her cheek.