Heart of Rockies 03 - More Than a Feeling (32 page)

“I can think of a possibility,” he murmured, lowering his lips to hers, lighting the fuse of desire until it sparked low in her belly. One week ago she never would’ve dared to hope that she would be discussing possibilities with a man like Sawyer.

“I like possibilities,” she whispered between the sensual movement of his lips against hers.

He pulled away, eyes heated with passion, and moved the boxes off the bed. “I love you, Ruby.” He took her hands in his and tugged her close enough that she could feel his heart pound against her chest. Hers answered with a devastating longing.

“I love you, too,” she said, already working at the buttons on his shirt. She couldn’t be apart from him anymore. All she wanted was to be wrapped in his arms, enveloped in the heat of his body against hers, as he buried himself inside of her until she succumbed to the pleasure of being his.

“Make love to me, Sawyer Hawkins,” she said, pushing him down to the mattress. He caught her hand and pulled her down with him.

This time, nothing would stand between them. No lies. No pretenses. Just him and her and the beautiful possibility of a happy ending.

S
low down, will ya?” Sawyer chased Ruby up the steep switchback carved into the mountainside. Nellie sprinted back and forth between the two of them, ecstatic that she’d been let off the leash.

“You trying to run away from me again?” Sawyer asked. They’d done this same hike only four months ago, back when she hadn’t even wanted to talk to him. Thank god things could change so much in the matter of four months. “You didn’t like me much the last time we came up here,” he reminded her.

“Yeah, and you wouldn’t leave me alone.” She stopped on the slope above him, hands pinned to her hips, cheeks pink with the crisp fall air.

He paused to admire her. Couldn’t help it. She’d always been so beautiful, but now her green eyes glistened in a way they hadn’t before, and her body moved with confidence and grace, as though a heavy weight had slid from her shoulders.

It had been such a busy summer for both of them—her working in the kitchen and him starting the new job. Besides that, there’d been a hell of a lot of details to take care of…he’d moved into an apartment downtown, and they’d both traveled back to North Carolina for Derek Alders’s trial. At his encouragement, Ruby had sought counseling to work through the trauma of everything that had happened.

Even just thinking about the past few months made him tired. But it was a new season. Now the pale-trunked aspen trees were golden and shimmering against the blue sky. The bite in the air suggested that the first snowfall might not be far off. Far as he could tell, a new season was exactly what they both needed. They still had work to do—as Ruby kept telling him, healing takes work—but he was ready to take the next step with her.

Nellie bounded up to Ruby and plopped down in the middle of the trail, tongue hanging out.

Ruby knelt to give the dog some water and waited for him to hike up the slope and join her. “I’m glad you didn’t leave me alone last spring,” she said, eyes shying away from his like she had a secret.

“I couldn’t.” He slipped his hand into hers and they started out on the trail again, Nellie on their heels, as they passed into the shadows of the towering pines. “You’re all I think about, Ruby.” In between her long days at the ranch and his extra duties at the station, he’d made sure to date her as much as he could—bringing her out to dinner, taking her to the movies. Once, they’d driven up Independence Pass. And, yes, she’d slept over at his place a few times, don’t tell Aunt Elsie.

But none of that had been nearly enough for him.

When she’d asked him if they could hike to the waterfall today, he knew it was the perfect opportunity. He’d gone straight to Bryce’s house, because a guy needed a wingman when he went to pick out an engagement ring, and they’d shopped all afternoon until he’d found the perfect one.

“Are we almost there?” Ruby asked, gazing at the path ahead of them.

Why did she suddenly look so nervous?

“Not too much farther.” One more uphill jaunt, then the trail would curve deeper into the woods and they’d be there. “Maybe we could go skinny-dipping this time,” he suggested. “It’d be best if you could take off your clothes
before
you fall in.”

He’d meant to make her laugh but her jaw tightened. “Um…probably not this time.” She pulled her hand from his and walked faster, trying to outrun him again?

“But maybe another time,” she called.

Was it just him, or was she acting weird? He caught up to her and tucked her under his arm so they were walking side by side. “What’s up?”

“Nothing.” But her eyes held that spark of mystery. “I just want to get there.” Her boots continued to pound the trail like a gold medal was at stake.

Nellie sprinted ahead of them, barking and yipping.

“What’s her deal?” he asked, but Ruby only shrugged and kept hiking.

By the time they’d made it up the last hill, he was out of breath. He followed behind her as the path curved. “Are you sure everything’s o—”

A murmur of voices cut him off. He directed his gaze ahead them, but instead of seeing the waterfall, he saw a crowd of people.

Nellie tore around the group, greeting everyone before trotting to the pond for a drink.

Sawyer looked around. Seemed the waterfall was a popular place today. Elsie and Thomas stood with Brookie, who was balancing on one of the rocks. Paige and Ben formed a human chain with Avery and Bryce, blocking his view of the falls. And then there was…

“Kaylee?” What was she doing there? He stopped a couple of feet away, searching her face.

“Hi, Sawyer.” She smiled at him—a real smile, and…were those tears in her eyes?

Confusion rolled in like a thick fog, but Ruby took his hands in hers and pulled him out of it. “What is this? What’s going on?” His heart rattled in his chest. Something about the emotion gathering in Ruby’s eyes. About the way everyone looked at him, somber and quiet. Waiting.

Ruby’s hands caressed his as she peered up at him. “We know how much you loved Matthew.”

Matthew.
Just the name was enough to put him in a chokehold. Everyone told him he should think of the baby as Matthew. But for some reason, it still didn’t make him seem real.

“And we wanted to do something,” Ruby went on, steadying him with her loving gaze. “I asked Kaylee if we could come up with a way to remember him.”

Kaylee nodded, then moved next to Ruby. “Matthew would’ve been the perfect name. Matthew Sawyer,” she said, a hitch in her voice. “I miss him, too. I never thought I would, but I do.”

A surge of emotion pushed up, too powerful to contain. Tears dimmed his vision. “Thank you,” he said past the thick mass in his throat.

“We all agreed that this was the perfect place to create a memorial for Matthew,” Ruby said softly.

Everyone parted to form a path down the center of the group, and Sawyer saw it, what they had been hiding. A granite bench perched on the slight swell of land close enough to the waterfall that, if you sat on it, you’d surely feel the cool spray.

He made his way down the path, in the center of all his favorite people. It was so serene, quiet and reverent, the only sound coming from the water that splashed and rolled over the rocks.

At the bench he stopped and gazed down at a gold plaque.

Though he’d been trained to hold them back, the tears wouldn’t stop. They rained down, warm and relentless. “It’s…incredible.” Somehow he managed to find his voice, though the words weren’t enough. Incredible didn’t begin to describe it. It was the most beautiful thing anyone had ever done for him. He turned to Ruby, trying to tighten his jaw against the tears, but she was crying, too.

“Thank you so much.” The carved stone bench did what he never could. It had given his son a place. One of the most stunning places he’d ever seen. He would always feel like a part of him was missing, but this made Matthew feel real. And no one would ever forget him.

Ruby hugged him, then stepped aside and everyone else took a turn.

Paige and Ben happened to be closest.

She threw her arms around him. “God, I haven’t cried this hard since Ben made me watch
Marley and Me
.”

“That was only two days ago, babe,” Ben said, patting his wife sympathetically on the shoulder.

“So I’m a crier. I can’t help it.” She sniffled. “This is so beautiful. And you and Ruby are just so perfect…” She gulped a breath and shook her head like she couldn’t say more.

“It’s true.” Ben hugged him quick and manly like, with a hearty clap on the back. “You two are great together.”

“Couldn’t agree more,” he said, shifting his gaze to where Ruby stood cradling baby Lily in her arms with a look of bliss.

“Sawyer!” Brookie launched herself into the middle of their circle and squeezed him so hard his eyes bulged.

“I’m so glad you’re here,” he whispered, squeezing her back. Though they’d seen her two weekends a month for the entire summer, it hadn’t been enough. Being around the ranch had done wonders for her, though. She laughed more easily and he noticed that faraway vacant look in her eyes less often. Still, if he had his way she’d be in Aspen on a more permanent basis soon. He fought the temptation to tell her so.

“I’m glad, too.” The girl shot him the smile that never failed to unleash his protective instinct. “You’d be the best dad,” she said. “Matthew was lucky.”

His heart softened like melting wax. “That means a lot, Brookie. I hope to be a dad someday.” Soon. Very, very soon. Both he and Ruby had already started the process of completing the requirements to become foster parents. Wasn’t quite fast enough for him, but he knew it took time. “You’re still gonna come up on the weekends, right?” he asked her. She’d started school a couple of weeks ago and Thomas wasn’t sure how much time she’d be able to spend at the ranch.

“At least once a month.” Her eyes went round. “As long as I keep up my grades,” she added, glancing at Thomas, who confirmed it with a nod.

The man walked over, still sporting a brace from his leg injury and subsequent surgery. The brace was only for hiking, he liked to remind everyone. He caught Sawyer’s hand and shook it. “Helluva place.”

“Such a beautiful memorial,” Aunt Elsie added, scurrying over like she didn’t want to miss her chance to hug him.

“It means so much to have you here.” He leaned down to kiss her on the cheek, grateful that she’d taken over as his mother when his parents were off gallivanting across Europe.

“We wouldn’t have missed it, dear,” she insisted before discreetly tugging Thomas and Brookie away as Kaylee approached.

The awkwardness that always seemed to cloud the air between them faded. For the first time, he realized that maybe Matthew’s death had been harder on her than she’d let on. She just didn’t know how to deal with it. He smiled at her. “I’m really glad you’re here.” He never thought he’d be able to say that to Kaylee, but so much had changed. He’d changed, and shared grief had a way of bringing people together.

“Me too,” she said, nervously clasping her hands. “I’m sorry, Sawyer. I made a lot of mistakes…”

“
We
made a lot of mistakes,” he said firmly. But he’d learned. And maybe she had, too.

Kaylee shook her head like it didn’t matter either way. “I’m happy for you. You deserve the best.”

“So do you.” He hoped she’d find it someday, the kind of love he’d found with Ruby. The kind of love that was worth fighting for.

She squeezed his hand and moved on to chat with Paige.

That left only Avery and Bryce, whom he’d maybe hugged one other time in his life. After his first wife had passed away.

They might not have been the most affectionate in the family, but his cousin was his best friend. Always would be. He clapped him on the shoulder. “Thanks for offering up this place.” It was perfect. He couldn’t have asked for anything better.

“Matthew’s part of the family,” Bryce said, and his eyes were red-rimmed, too, if Sawyer wasn’t mistaken.

“Someday his many brothers and sisters can visit this place, too.” Avery leaned in for her hug, raising her eyebrows at him like she knew exactly what was burning a hole in his pocket. Which she probably did, since Bryce couldn’t seem to keep anything from her. She stood on her tiptoes and directed her lips to his ear. “I’ll round up everyone and get them to leave you two alone for a minute.”

“That would be great.” Because Ruby stunned him with her thoughtfulness, her sweet heart, and he was done waiting. Patting his shorts, he felt for the small box. Still there.

Squealing a happy “awww” Avery bounded away and collected Lily from Ruby’s arms. “Hey, everyone.”

When no one quieted, the woman stuck her fingers in her mouth and trilled a whistle that made Sawyer’s neck hairs curl.

Silence fell over the group.

“Mom prepared the most amazing lunch for us back at the lodge.” She pointed the group toward the path like a true social director. “Last one back has to do the dishes,” she said, winking at him.

The stampede started, with Brookie and Nellie leading the pack.

Ruby took three steps before he hooked her arm and held her back. “Wait.”

She wriggled out of his hold. “You don’t want to do the dishes, do you?”

He slipped in front of her before she could race Brookie down the trail. “Trust me. We won’t have to do the dishes.” In fact, they might not even make it back to the lodge. He might have to take her back to his place first…

“But—”

He pressed a finger against her lips. “I can’t believe you did all of this. For me.” He didn’t even want to imagine how much it had cost her…

“Sawyer…” Her head shook slowly, like she couldn’t believe he didn’t understand. “I love you. And this is nothing compared to what you did for me.” She pressed into him, her curvy sexy body fitting so perfectly with his. “Because of you, I’m not afraid anymore. You helped me see this amazing future…”

Now she was just stealing his thunder. He silenced her with a long, slow kiss. The touch of her lips sent energy soaring through him, making him sure he could run a full marathon without getting winded.

That’s what Ruby did to him. She revived him. She brought him to life.

Digging the box out of his pocket, he pulled away, and before she could steal the show again, he dropped to one knee.

That seemed to get her attention. Her head tipped forward and she gaped at him.

“In four months you’ve become my best friend.” They’d bonded during those early tumultuous weeks, and now she knew him like no one else ever had. Somehow she still loved him. “I love your heart, the way that you take care of everyone…” He flipped open the box and raised it up. The diamonds encased in the simple platinum band caught the sun. “But I want to take care of you. For the rest of our lives. I want to give you everything. I want to make all of your dreams come true.”

Breaths shuddered through her open lips. Tears dripped down her cheeks. “Sawyer. Oh my god.”

“Marry me, Ruby,” he said, memorizing the joy on her face. “Let’s build the family we’ve always wanted.” The family she’d never had.